The next morning I finished my stretches in the gym and set out on the track. It was early enough that none of my classmates would see me and none of my teachers would expect me to be awake. The sun was just setting meaning that the other students would not be wandering around for another hour or so. I took a few steps. The track somehow felt foreign to me, despite having spent so many mornings running with Dimitri.

I was only able to run one mile that first morning; however, by run I meant the jog/walk style. I was completely exhausted and it took nearly three days before I was able to run a full mile without stopping. By the next Monday I was more anxious to push myself. After lightly jogging for the first mile I was already breathing pretty hard and my heaving chest was pushing on my ribs. I pinched my side and trudged on; I refused to give up yet. I pushed a little harder and finished the second mile. The last few feet were excruciating, but I wanted it more than anything. Admittedly, I was pretty proud of myself. I just ran two miles after being in a coma for a month. Take that stupid school!

Take that stupid Dimitri !

These people were just trying to hold me back, and they had done it since I got back from Portland. Dimitri had to convince Kurova to let him give me extra training in the first place. I knew when I was moving too fast; I was not going to hurt myself. I was walking back toward the gym to do a few cool down stretches when it happened.

I immediately felt like I was about to be sucked into Lissa's head. The odd feeling was there, yet I was suddenly feeling a weird pain in my stomach. My head spun and I bent over as a reaction. I took a few steps toward the main campus. If something was wrong with Lissa I had to get to her. It felt like she was in extreme pain. Suddenly, the spinning stopped. I blinked a few times but realized I was still in pain. I turned and threw up in the bushes next to the gym. The pain in my stomach wouldn't go away. I put my hands on my knees and threw up several more times before it finally ended.

I slowly stood and took deep breaths. The air was crisp and my nausea was almost immediately eliminated.

Lissa. I need to get to Lissa.

I darted in the direction of the moroi dorms. I had not done very many sprints yet and the pain in my sides seared, but I needed to get to her. I raced the stairs inside the main building, up to Lissa's room.

I pounded on the door repeatedly for what seemed an eternity.

"Lissa, Lissa open up !" I shouted into the door.

The door opened to an alarmed and clearly half asleep Lissa. Her blond hair was in knots and she was half wrapped up in her blanket. She blinked quickly adjusting her eyes.

"Rose, what's wrong? Is everything okay? You look pale! Sit down," she managed to string sentences together while pointing toward her bed.

"You're not hurt? I mean … you are okay?" I asked, my tone confused and reluctant.

"Rose, sit down" she instructed again. This time I complied. I walked into her room as she shut the door and I sat at the foot of her bed.

"Rose, I am fine. What happened? What are you doing up this early?" she sat down next to me and looked me up and down.

I quickly spit out what happened. " … as soon as I was done running I felt like I was slipping into your head, through the bond, and I felt so sick … I literally threw up from the pain I was feeling… I thought something had happened to you, so I came here".

Lissa shook her head at me. "No Rose, I am fine. What are in the hell are you doing training already? I wouldn't have thought that Dimitri would let you do this –"

"It's not Dimitri, its me. I can't sit around anymore…"

"Rose! You can't do this-"

"Lissa! I just can't imagine graduating late and not being your guardian because of something I had no control over. I need to catch up. I need to do this!" I finished with a sound of panic in my voice.

"Rose, throwing up was probably your body's way of telling you that you are moving too fast. You are pushing yourself too hard too soon. I understand that you have a lot of work in front of you, but this is insane! Olendzki even told you to take it easy. This is the opposite of taking it easy … Rose… you are my guardian. I will not let anyone take that away. I want it just as much as you do … but I refuse to sit here and watch you kill yourself over me…" There were tears in Lissa's eyes, and I knew that she sincerely meant every word.

"Lissa, you have to understand that I need to do this. I cannot sit around. I am going crazy." I asserted. "Please just understand that".

Lissa shook her head and sighed loudly. "No Rose, you can't do this. You have to promise me you won't do this … not until you are cleared…"

I stood up and walked towards the door. I could not stand watching Lissa worry about me anymore and she really could not say anything to change my mind.

"Rose, if you keep doing this I will tell Guardian Belikov … he would tell you the same thing". I knew she meant it. It was not so much threat in her voice as it was a promise. She was trying to do something for my own good, and I knew she meant well … but no matter what she said I would find a way to train and she knew that.

___

Despite Lissa's good intentions, I could not give up on my training. Early morning and after school trainings went on for the next few weeks, and after Dimitri failed to show up at my Molnija ceremony, I decided that two miles was no longer enough. I steadily pushed myself to do another mile and to implement more routines into my practice. Pretty soon, I had tallied up my mile to about seven per day intertwined with anaerobic training, weight training and stretches. Slowly my chest was feeling better and I could complete my running without much pain at all, despite the occasional infuriating vomit-fest. Training had never had this affect on me, even when I first started with Dimitri. Although, I had never really been injured like this before, so throwing up may just be that my body had not completely accepted the fact that it would not be resting any longer. A month was all it was going to get and I would take that back if I could.

One night after cooling down I was going to meet Lissa and Christian for a movie night, which basically meant that they were looking for an excuse to get me out of my room. I only accepted because I had felt the anxiety surging through Lissa the last few times I had turned her down to hang out. I was not avoiding her; I just had not really felt like being social. At that thought I realized that maybe it was time for me to get out. Rose of days past would slap me across my face for being so tragically boring. For this reason alone I put on a slim black tank top and my skinny jeans the hugged me in all the right places; I even threw the jeans in the dryer in hopes that they would shrink a little. My clothes weren't as snug as they used to be, which was sad because that's how I liked them. My hair had a quick blow-dry and I even threw a little makeup on. I grabbed my lip gloss and shoved it into my pocket as I slipped into my shoes.

As I opened my door to leave I glanced back around the room. Checking that I had not forgotten anything I backed out the door and suddenly ran into a giant figure. AH ! I tried to stifle my scream, but it was too late. I turned directly into Dimitri.

I looked up at him, looming in front of me. Had I really forgotten how tall he was, or how much he looked like a freaking god?

I realized how much I missed him as I took in his appearance, but his face told me that he was not as happy. Stay calm.

"Hey Com- … Guardian Belikov," I remembered his letter; short and businesslike. I decided this conversation might be much of the same.

Dimitri's face was stiff like a sculpture, but I saw a glint of something else, maybe something he didn't want me to see. I felt a sense of déjà vu. He was definitely staring and me. I was suddenly glad that I had chosen to get out of my sweats.

I cleared my throat and he immediately blinked a few times as if he were startled.

"Ms Hathaway I have been informed by an anonymous source that you have not been resting per doctors' orders. I am here to tell you that if you do not cease with this behavior, the academy will most likely suspend you until further notice. Do I make myself clear?" he finished quickly. It was almost as if he had rehearsed this little speech.

I smirked at his attempt to be glib. Psh … anonymous source…

"Sure Guardian Belikov. Whatever you say… your wish is my command," I made sloppy attempt to salute him and let my arm hang back at my side. "Am I dismissed?" I retorted.

Dimitri glared at me. I could tell that playing his game was really getting under his skin. He looked like he wanted to grab me and shake me.

"I'll take that as a yes," I said giving him a haughty smile as bumped into him trying to pass him in the hall.

"Thanks for the pep talk," I shouted back at him down the hall. Dimitri stood very still staring at me as I walked away. Lets see how he likes it. I turned down the last corner and peered back. He was gone. I chucked to myself. My guess? Dimitri liked being treated this way just as much as I did.

Halfway to Lissa's I suddenly felt a wave of nausea wave over me, but by the time I reached the moroi dorm the feeling had subsided. I stopped to take in a few more breaths of the crisp air hoping that I didn't throw up in front of Lissa.

"Rose! I'm glad you came!" Lissa shouted as she let me into her dorm. Christian was sitting on the floor in front of a movie; he waved absently into the air at me.

"Yo!" I nodded in his direction, which he then put his hand down –keeping his eyes on the TV.

"Rose! You look great! I mean, this is the first time I've seen you wear makeup in … well. … forever!" Lissa adored. She stared at me like I was a freak show and then hugged me for an obscurely long time. What was going on?

"Liss, if you don't stop, I am going to wash it off…" I smiled sarcastically.

Lissa laughed and gracefully glided over to Christian and sat down. We sat and watched some cheesy movie on one of the free cable channels. Between Lissa and Christian stealing kisses and the ridiculous movie dialogue I wondered why I came out in the first place. Eventually, I had settled on the fact that I probably hadn't watched enough cheesy movies lately. Basically hiding in my room for almost a month could probably use a bad line or two.

" …Flash I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the earth…"

Or maybe not …I looked over at Lissa with a glare. She looked over at me and giggled loudly. At least someone was having a good time. I realized being here was just as much for me as it was for Lissa. She needed to see that I was okay and watching her laugh again reminded me of how much I missed being around her.

"Okay, I need to stretch and get a soda or something, need anything?" Christian moved to his feet and headed for the door. Why didn't I think of that?

"Oh, oh! Soda is good, whatever you can find!" Lissa chirped. I nodded at Christian and he smiled and left the room, closing the door silently behind him.

Lissa fixed her gaze back on the TV when I remembered my encounter with Dimitri.

"I didn't actually think you would tell Belikov, Liss. I mean, I knew you had concerns, but really?" I said somewhat annoyed.

Lissa turned her head with her eyes still on the TV, but then she slowly moved them toward me.

"hmm? Wait … Belikov? Guardian Belikov?" she asked looking puzzled. "I haven't seen him since you were in the clinic" she explained. "Why…did you talk to him?" she asked.

"Um, no, you just seemed really serious the last time we talked about my training. I thought you were going to say something" I fidgeted with the remote. I didn't want to tell her that he actually said I would be suspended. If she didn't say something, how did he know?

Lissa laughed, "No … Rose I didn't say anything. Yet!" she laughed again.

"Wait, since I was in the clinic? Dim- er … Guardian Belikov was there?" My heart stopped.

"Uh, yeah Rose. When I heard you were coming back I waited at the clinic until they brought you in" she muted the TV and turned toward me crossing her legs in front of her.

"It was surreal… like, I was sitting in the room waiting – Christian told me to read a magazine, but I was too anxious. There was a lot of noise in the hall and Guardian Belikov came into the room, like stormed in, with you in his arms," she paused and looked down at a piece of loose carpet. "You looked like a rag doll." She looked back up at me, her eyes glassy and rimmed with tears.

"Lissa, you don't have to –"

"You were so still. I wanted to go to you, but I felt like I was frozen in my chair … and Guardian Belikov just stood there staring at you... I could tell that he was worried and he probably felt responsible in some way, being your mentor and all …Olendzki was trying to clean you up and … everyone was asking Belikov questions. Rose it was awful. We were all kicked out, except for the guardians who I assumed were on the scene with you, and your mom."

"So he was there," I asserted. "He hasn't really talked to me … I didn't think he stayed around when I was out" I shrugged.

"Oh Rose, you should have seen him. The chest of his shirt was literally covered in your blood. They kept telling him to clean up and come back but it looked like he didn't hear them … I saw him leaving the clinic most of the days I was coming to visit you… I only assumed he was checking up on you too," she said looking like she was trying to bring back a distant memory.

Christian walked in with a few sodas in hand and a bag of pretzels.

"They only had diet soda, I hope that's oka-" he started, but stopped suddenly taking in the atmosphere of the room. It was probably evident that the movie had taken a back seat.

"I can come back later- if .."

"No, Christian, it's fine." I started. "Let's just watch the rest of this amazing movie; I hope they save the world… they only have like five hours left!" I said through a wide mouthed smile, throwing two thumbs up.

Christian laughed and sat back down as we cracked open our sodas. A few minutes back into the movie Lissa looked at me out of the corner of her eye and winked; I returned a small smile.