I am pleased to see that there are some Rookies fans out there who have been reading this story. If you have the time, I would appreciate any reviews. I soooo loved The Rookies when I was a kid, and found the small collection of stories here. I just recently purchased both season one and two. I sure hope they release season three soon. Anywho, like I mentioned, I would appreciate any reviews.
***R***
Jill Danko was laughing as she brought the rolls from the kitchen to the table where her husband, Willie and Terry sat.
"I nearly forgot them!" She said sitting down at last.
"There's plenty here, Babe." Her husband said surveying the table covered in food.
"Speak for yourself." Willie said reaching for a roll.
Jill shook her head. She was often impressed with just how much Willie could consume. She once turned her back on him for just five minutes and he had eaten an entire pie. It was a pretty astonishing feat.
"So how was your first week back on patrol?" Terry asked Mike, who still looked a little bit too pale and too thin, for Jill's taste.
"Ryker was giving me light duty until I finally put my foot down." He glanced nervously at Jill. "Of course, at least one of the Danko's would prefer desk duty."
"I can imagine." Terry said with a wink at Jill. "Still, you can't fight gravity Jill. You married a man with a hero complex."
"I am aware." She said with a shake of her head. "I suppose it would be unfair for me to keep him chained to a desk at the precinct." She glanced at him, trying to see him as he was, and not lying in a hospital bed covered in blood. "Although," She reached under the table giving his knee a gentle squeeze. "It is mighty tempting."
"Don't worry, Jill." Willie said to her. "Mike here is too slow moving these days to get into any real trouble. He's so out of shape! By the time he gets to a scene, the action is all over."
"Hey!" Mike said punching Willie's arm. "You wanna see what kind of shape I'm in? I'll show you, kid!"
"Don't hurt yourself, old man!"
They were all still laughing over this when the phone rang. Jill, who was closest to the phone, rose, still laughing and answered it. She was expecting a call from her sister, or maybe even the head nurse, who had taken to calling her during her off duty hours just to check on her and see how she was managing things.
***R***
Since Mike's release, Liz Conners had made good on her promise to keep an eye on Jill. And truth be told, more than once Jill had been deeply comforted by her talks; especially in those first few days after Mike had gone back on duty. It had been all she could manage to watch him walk out the door that first day.
"Well, I guess I'm back at it." He had said rising from breakfast. "The fellas said they'd meet me downstairs."
Jill said nothing, simply nodding her head. She swallowed hard, and rising went into the kitchen. He followed her, and she handed him a paper bag.
"Thanks.'" He said and still she said nothing in response. She kept her head low, her eyes avoiding his. "Hey," He said gently. "We talked about this last night. If it is too hard for you, I can wait another day."
"No." Her voice came out in a shaky whisper. "A day won't matter." She looked up at him then, and seeing her frightened eyes made him feel as though he'd been punched in the gut.
He reached out, lifting her chin with his fingers so that she was looking him square in the eyes. He watched her battle down tears, and then finally she said, "I'll see you at dinner."
"Yeah." He said awed by her strength of will. He knew she was terrified. He knew everything inside of her wanted to plead and beg for him to stay home and never, ever go out there again, but instead she handed him his lunch, ready to send him on his way.
"I'll see you tonight, Babe." He said setting his lunch aside and holding her face in his hands. She said nothing, but leaned her forehead against his. She held onto his arms with trembling fingers. Finally, at last she lifted her head and giving his cheek a quick kiss, she handed him his lunch again.
"Have a good day, Mike." She said as she followed him to the door.
He had wanted to tell her how much he admired her. He wanted to say how much he loved her, but they had talked about it late into the night, as she lay tucked in his arms. She had been clear on this point - leave like it is any other morning - no fuss - no grand declarations of love. She said she hoped that she would be able to manage it without becoming a mess of sobbing tears. He stepped out into the hallway as the door closed behind him, and he tried not to imagine her standing there, holding her breath; waiting. He knew that he had resigned her to a lifetime of waiting. Sighing he looked up to see Terry standing waiting for him.
"The kid's downstairs." Terry said. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Mike said.
"What about Jill?" Terry asked.
Mike shook his head, and said with a shrug, "The things we do to women."
***R***
"Hello?" Jill said into the phone.
"Mrs. Danko, this is Lt. Ryker. I am sorry to interrupt your evening, but I am afraid I need to speak to your husband."
"Ye . . .yes." She said trying to hide the slight hesitation in her voice. "He's . . .he's right here." She turned to them and held the phone out to Mike saying only, "It's for you."
She sat down heavily in her chair, suddenly no longer hungry. She kept her eyes down, knowing that both Terry and Willie were watching her.
"Yeah." Mike was saying. "Okay. No, they are right here. I'll tell them. Yes, sir."
Yes, sir. Sometimes she couldn't think of two words she hated more than yes, sir. Those two damn words dominated her life. She sighed and looked up surprised to see that Terry and Willie had left, and that Mike was kneeling beside her.
"I gotta go, Baby." He said gently. "I'm really sorry."
"I feel like we've had this conversation before." She said trying to laugh.
"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "It's nothing dangerous, Jill. They just need as many men as they can. There's some protesters down near the ware. . ." He stopped himself realizing that the last piece of information wouldn't comfort her one bit.
"It's always dangerous, Michael." She said softly. "Always." She bit the inside of her lower lip, trying to somehow make herself braver than she felt. He didn't need to be worried about her. He couldn't afford to be distracted by thinking about her at all. "Go, on, Danko." She said making her voice sound so much stronger than she felt.
"Hey, baby . . ." He began.
"I think you staged this whole thing just to escape eating my quiche. I know you don't like it, but a group of crazed protesters? That's pretty excessive. Next time, just tell me you'd rather skip it." She smiled at him, but one tear had somehow escaped, and he said nothing, brushing it away with his thumb.
"You know how I feel about broccoli, Babe." He said playing along.
"I guess I just didn't understand how deep those feelings ran." She rose on shaky legs, walking him to the door.
"I'll be home later." He said as they reached the front door, he reached out to pull her to him, but she stepped away.
"I can't." She whispered. "Michael, I swear. I'll fall apart."
He nodded and put his hands down. She drew in two deep gulps of air, and then said, "I'll see you later."
"Okay." His blue eyes grew misty. "Okay. I'll wake you when I get in. Don't watch the news, huh? They never get things right, and they always blow things out of proportion."
She nodded her head. "Bye."
"See you later, Baby." He stepped out into the hall closing the door behind him. He moved quickly down the hall, afraid that if he hesitated, he'd go back inside and never leave.
"Mike!" He turned to see her standing at the end of the hall, her hand on the open door.
"Yeah, Babe?" He stood where he was waiting.
"I love you." She said struggling to keep herself from crying. "I wanted to say that."
"I love you, too." He said surprised by the strength of his own emotions. "And I'll be home later. Alright, Baby? I'll be home."
Unable to respond, she nodded her head and he turned away from her, his pace quickening with each stride. The things we do to women. He thought again, but with each step he tried to forget her pale features trembling, as she fought to keep tears from spilling out of her big, frightened, brown eyes. Instead he focused on the task before him, and so with each step felt the burdens and anguish of husband fade to the background, as Officer Danko moved to the foreground.
Jill Danko leaned against the closed door, closing her eyes, and taking in deep breaths. She pushed down her tears, and turned sharply, attacking the dishes with a vengeance. She swept the front room, and folded a long-ignored stack of laundry, but still her terror didn't abate. She glanced up at the clock. He'd been gone for forty-five minutes. She laughed bitterly. She was never, ever going to make it. Grabbing her sweater, she surrendered to the inevitable and raced out of the apartment.
***R***
Liz Conners was just putting notes on her last report when she heard the door to her office open. Looking up, she was not at all surprised to find Nurse Danko standing in front of her. The girl looked pale and terrified.
"I thought it was your night off?" She asked sternly.
"It is." The girl hesitated nervously. "I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee?"
Liz studied the young nurse. She'd been impressed with Jill Danko from her very first day at Memorial. Some women seemed to have a sixth sense about nursing. They knew what to do almost instinctively. It was something that was impossible to teach student nurses; they either had it or they didn't. Like a skill that had been passed down from one tribal healer to the next, it was a gift outright. Jill Danko clearly had it. But in the years that she had watched the young nurse work, she'd been reminded so much of her young daughter-in-law. Jill Danko was stubborn and determined. She kept her fears about her husband tucked away and hidden. Lucy had done the same, and Liz had simply left it alone. She hadn't wanted to make her sons' wife uncomfortable so she had never pushed. But now, even all these years after her son's death, it was something she regretted. She wished she had done a better job of being there for her daughter-in-law. Perhaps, if she had, she wouldn't have moved back to Kansas to be with her mother, taking her sweet baby grandson with her. Seeing Jill Danko so young and so clearly devoted to her husband, brought up so many of Liz's regrets. Lucy had struggled alone, just like Jill - no doubt never, ever admitting to anyone how often she cried herself to sleep worrying over whether or not her husband would come home.
She closed the file on her desk, clicking out the lamp. Pushing her hands against the desk, she rose. Grabbing her purse from a drawer she said, "Well, from the looks of things, I don't think coffee is the best choice." She moved from behind the desk and stood in front of Jill who had turned to face her. "You look to me like a woman who could use a good drink."
Jill's eyes widened in surprise. "Yes, ma'am." She said laughing. "I sure as hell could."
"Alright then. I suppose for decorum's sake you better wait for me downstairs. I can't have my student nurses thinking they'll get to go out drinking with me too." She grinned at Jill.
"Yes, ma'am." Jill said turning and leaving. "I'll be downstairs."
Jill left the small office feeling oddly happy. Her panic and worry over Mike was still there. It was always there, and would always be. It was part of the deal. She understood that. And maybe for now, leaning on Nurse Conners like she was, was a kind of weakness. But at least she wasn't alone, worried, and isolated like she had been. She thought briefly of the upcoming group of police academy graduates wondering if any of them were married. If so, she thought, perhaps it was time for a new breed of cop's wife to go along with the new breed of cop. She certainly would be more than happy to turn to the wife of a brand new officer and say, "You don't have to pretend you aren't terrified. I am, too. We all are." She knew she found it unbelievably comforting to be able to turn now to someone who understood.
It didn't even matter if they talked about the massive terror inside her. They didn't need to. She didn't have to explain it. Liz Conners had lived it herself. It was enough to know that someone else, another woman had battled the same fears, and survived.
Later tonight, when Mike at last returns home to her she will curl into his arms so grateful that she will be unable to hold back the tears she is managing, even now, to keep at bay. He will comfort her the best he can with his strength; his words; his promises, his body - even though he, too, is burdened down with his own battles. His need to continue to be a police officer ever at war with his guilt for the anguish it brings her; a fight she can no more truly understand than he can understand her daily terror. But they will continue to love each other, accepting things as they are. She will take tremendous comfort and strength from the safety of his arms.
But for now she will wait, but not alone. She will wait with all the other mothers, sisters, and wives of police officers. She will wait in the silent company of all those who dread the ringing of the phone, or fear to hear a sharp quick knock at the door as a man in a dark uniform stands just outside with words on his lips that will shatter her world into a million broken pieces. She will wait in the company of a friend who understands, a member of the silent sisterhood of patient waiting. And somehow she will manage the strength she needs so that she can wait for tomorrow; praying with all her heart that tomorrow comes.
She is forever waiting. Waiting to hear the low, mellow rumble of his voice. She is waiting to feel his strong fingers brush her hip as he pulls her close into a comforting embrace, reassuring her that he is safe again. She is waiting for his beautiful, bright blue eyes to smile into hers. She is waiting for the dawn and the hope that the light of day will bring.
She is waiting for tomorrow.