Hey all!

Sorry for the lateness, my computer decided to die this week and so i havent been able to do much. Plus job interviews galore have kept me busy.

Thank you for all the fantastic reviews you're all Diamonds!

But here is a little insight into the mind of our boy.

Enjoy

Edward POV

I watched her leave with my sister slightly worried about how it might turn out. For some reason I felt the need to shield her away from the questions my sister would be asking her.

How the hell I had got to this point in my life was amazing, I'm pretty sure meeting Bella was like fate. It was meant to happen, I would have never believed in anything like that before but now, I really didn't like the thought of her not being around. When I first saw her and she was there leaning over her car I'll admit I thought I was living out every guys Megan Fox fantasy but then I heard her shouting profanities to her car and I couldn't help but interrupt. What I didn't expect was for her to be totally ballsy and sarcastic not to mention fucking easy on the eye, and for some reason I didn't want to leave her out their on her own. When she called me pretty eyes my stomach went funny, I mean girls have complimented me on my eyes before but hearing it from this strange, crazy woman made it sound so much sexier.

When she got in the car with me I realised she was completely cynical about everything around her and she acted as if the world was out to get her, so it wasn't any surprise that we were arguing within an hour of being in my car but when she told me to let her out I panicked, I didn't want her to leave. I had been the stubborn asshole who wanted to drive alone but for some reason I liked her company. I don't know why but it was like I could read her, I had always for some reason been able to tell what people were thinking or feeling just from looking at them and I could tell she was keeping things locked up. Once we got through the awkwardness and annoyance we settled into a nice routine, Since then I was amazed at how this girl had made me feel, hell I even introduced her to my family, it took me almost a month to do that with...Yeah well, she was great company to have around.

I turned back round to take a sip of my juice, what I didn't expect was to see my brother and best friend staring at my mouths open and eyes wide

"Guys, you're catching flies" I laughed looking at the two of them as they quickly shut their mouths

"Dude what is that?" Emmett said pointing to the door

"That my dear brother would be called juice" I smirked

"Alcohol in it?" Jasper asked quirking an eyebrow

"No!" I said mildly offended, "I'm not drinking in the mornings or afternoons anymore" Jasper gave me a disbelieving look.

"Don't be fucking funny with me and don't change the subject, what the hell is going on Edward?" Emmett said again suddenly serious

"What? There's nothing to tell I met her on my way here I offered her a ride" to which Emmett sniggered "Very mature" I said rolling my eyes "and then we got here" I added shrugging

"Yeah but you asked her if she wanted to come meet your family and then you allowed her to be in the car with you. Hell we tried that and you bit our heads off" Emmett added shovelling a pile of scrambled eggs into his mouth

"I couldn't just leave her out in the desert could I? She could have been killed by like mountain hillbillies or something. Besides I doubt she would have wanted to go home" I shot back quickly, only realising afterwards what I had said

"Why would she not want to go home, what's up with her?" Emmett asked eagerly

"Nothing is wrong with her, for god's sake. Look, when I picked her up I offered her a ride thinking it would only be a little while but then I really enjoyed the company and asked her to stay" I shrugged

"Have you told her about Kate?" Jasper asked quietly trying to occupy himself with the food on his plate. In that second my stomach dropped

"Uh yeah, I mentioned her name" I mumbled suddenly fascinated with my own plate

"Edward man, you know you're going to have to tell her soon don't you, about what happened" Emmett said butting in

"If I tell Bella she'll hate me" I muttered knowing it would be true

"Your not that person anymore" Jasper told me

"I fucked up her life, I deserve this now" I nodded to myself "Its not like she would even listen to me if I tried to say sorry"

"You're better now though, you sorted yourself out. Why not see what happens with Betty and if you feel comfortable enough then tell her" Emmett said rolling his eyes

"Bella" I corrected him laughing

"Whatever, look you seem more like your old self" Emmett added. My brother was never a man of many words but I felt like he was really trying to search his soul to find the right thing to say.

"She's ace, she's not like other girls but were just friends" I told them both firmly. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her away, I was having too much fun in her company and I was really afraid of what would happen if she found out what I was really like.

"Obviously more than friends if you asked her to meet your family, and you kissed her before, we all saw it" I bit back the curse that was forming on the tip of my tongue and let out a deep breath.

"It wasn't a kiss like that" I muttered trying to convince myself I didn't feel that charge when our lips met.

"Did she know that?" Jasper asked sharply

"Oh hell I don't know why don't you tell me, you seem to know her better then I do" I shot back

"Yeah dude what the hell was that about, you know this girl before hand?" Emmett said looking at him in confusion

"God you're sounding like Alice now. Look I met her in a diner for Christ sake, she looked really really pissed off and sad so I sat with her. She was abit of a bitch actually but it was all a front and I could kinda tell she was upset so I sat with her awhile. That's it" he said simply. Suddenly I felt like a complete and utter asshole placing blame on my best friend when I knew in my gut that he hadn't done anything wrong.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it really I'm just so messed up in my head right now" I muttered dragging my hand through my hair

"Brotha, do what you want to we're not gonna bitch at you, we're just happy to see you actually conversing with people" Emmett said finishing his food "Just don't lead the girl on" he added sadly.

I pinched the bridge of my nose letting out a defeated sigh, how in the space of two days could my life go from complete shit to shining, was it really because of this girl. Either way I didn't want her to hate me and leave me on my own again, god knows why I felt the need to travel on my own in the first place.

Because you deserve it maybe...

I shook my head trying to dispel these thoughts and finished my juice

"I'm going upstairs to have a shower and sort myself out" I muttered standing up

"Dude were going gambling now, you can't leave" Emmett said enthusiastically, I'm guessing he was trying to change the subject to something less dire

"I dunno I feel all disgusting" I said hovering by my chair

"C'mon, for all we know we could win a shiny coin that will take us on a magical adventure to New Mexico and 2 million dollars" Jasper added. I knew they were just trying to stop me from going upstairs and wallowing in my own self pity but it made me smile to know just how much they cared and hadn't actually given up hope.

"Fine only a little bit though, I actually want money to spend tonight" I added laughing as they both stood up. The three of us walked out the buffet and into the casino, they were desperate to go to the blackjack table to which I quickly pulled them away, if they went there they would end up spending shitloads and I actually want us to have a good night.

"So Em, tonight is the big night huh" I said breaking the silence that had occurred, we had been sitting down at a slot machines for almost an hour now and none of us had won a penny , Emmett sat on my left and Jasper on my right

"Definatly, she says she doesn't want it but I know she does" he said shoving another coin in the machine

"And what if she actually refuses?" Jasper asked yet his concentration was focused on his machine

Jesus these two take gambling seriously...have they always?

"Yeah ill just charm her like always" he said winking "She cant resist Emmett love" I winced at his words as mental images came to mind

"Thank you, thank you very much" I said scrunching up my face

"Your welcome little bro, anything for you" he said wrapping his arm round my shoulder, I sat wondering whether he knew I was being sarcastic or not "So I was wondering Y'know, if this wedding does in fact go through tonight and all, well do you..I mean would you" I had never seen my brother stutter over his words so much before and it was making me slightly worried

"Emmett just spit it out" I laughed

"Do you want to be my best man?" he asked quietly

I sat looking at him for several seconds waiting for him to break out in a smile and tell me he was kidding but he never did, he was fucking serious. I don't know why but it made me feel all warm and funny inside, was it pride or new found acceptance I dunno but I felt genuine love in his words

"I thought you wouldn't want me after Y'know" I said trailing off

"I don't give a shit what happened before, you're my brother and I cant think of anyone else I would want" he added quietly. I gave him a genuine smile and leaned over to embrace him for a hug

"I feel like I should do something manly now after all these displays of emotion" Emmett said to me as soon as he let go. I let out a small laugh at his randomness and carried on putting my last few coins into the machine I was on.

For some reason I felt like I had been in a coma for the last 9 months, I had completely missed out on everything, I felt like I had forgotten all the little quirks that my brother had or how perceptive Jasper actually was. For some reason Bella has woken me up from my sleep and I was able to see everything around me again.

"Dude I'm going up to my room ill see you in a little while okay?" I said standing up

"Yeah no problem, you going to be okay?" Emmett asked awkwardly

"Il be fine, Bella told me she as going to check in with me when she gets back so ill be fine" I told him

"Okay were going to come round for you at about half 7 that alright?" Jasper asked still refusing to look up from his machine

"Yeah that's fine, ill see you guys later" I muttered walking away

I walked up to my room and fell down onto my bed trying to process exactly what had been going on the last few days. I pulled my cigarettes from out of my pocket and lit it up, letting the smoke fill my lungs and chill me out, fuck seeing Bella smoking last night was so godamn sexy, I never thought seeing a girl taking my cigarette could cause me to loose my focus so much, It was so fucking erotic I didn't want her to know exactly how much it turned me on but I'm guessing I failed miserably.

Even though I had gone through everything in my head lots of times I was still having trouble processing exactly how we came to be here. I tried not to but I couldn't stop thinking about her, she was smart, funny, sarcastic, she drinks beer from the bottle and eats greasy food, everything that I would want. Pus the girl was a total stunner, I just couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her before we met. I know that she had problems with her mom and she cracked some ribs, I also know that how she acquired the latter was complete bullshit, something about the way she told me made me believe there was more to the story but I didn't want to press any further yet. I couldn't get the image of her out of my mind, but we couldn't be like that, it would be just too difficult, especially if we were travelling together. Hell even the kiss I gave her earlier was a mistake, I was just so overwhelmed that she would take a chance on me when I'm so not deserving pulled at my heartstrings and made me want her more. What I didn't expect was my reaction to the kiss, the electricity I felt left me breathless yet here I am trying to convince myself I didn't feel that

Better for everyone if you don't believe it

About half hour later there was a light tap on my door, a smile spread across my face when I thought who it might be and I raced to the door, but my smile faltered when I saw it was my stupidly annoying sister

"Nice to see you too, the smile says it all" she said sarcastically walking into my room

"Alice what do you want, I'm tired. I need a nap" I said rubbing my eyes

"Just to tell you that Bella has gone to bed, she was exhausted shopping around, I swear that girl is going to have to toughen up if she is planning on shopping with me more often" she smiled and I couldn't stop the smile forming on my face when she mentioned spending more time with Bella

"So I'm assuming she hasn't come to see you from that wild crazy obsessive smile you had when you answered the door" she laughed "But don't despair as you will see her later, now if you will excuse me I'm going to find Jasper for some alone time before we go out" she said winking. I cringed as I led her back to the door and opened it for her "Oh and Edward, don't fuck things up with her, she's a nice girl and I like seeing you back to yourself" she added kissing my cheeks before skipping off down the hall.

Was I really that bad, I mean I know I didn't really want to be around people but I never thought...i shook my head trying to dispel my thoughts and lay back down on the bed hoping that sleep would take me, unfortunately it didn't. I couldn't stop all my thoughts from racing around and funnily enough the majority of them focused on Bella. I went in the shower around an hour before Emmett was claiming to come and get me in an attempt to clear my head and relax my muscles before what I'm sure was going to be one crazy as hell night. Once I got out I dressed in a pair of faded jeans which hung just right on me and a plain black v necked t shirt, no point dressing up tonight really. I looked at my hair in the mirror and tried to style it but quickly gave up when I realised it would be no good, my signature 'sex hair style' as Alice once called it would have to do for tonight. I grabbed my key card and wallet and just as I opened the door I was greeted by Emmett

"Dude is was just coming to find you" I admitted

"Yeah, well I was forced up here to get Betty and grab you for drinking in Jaspers room" Emmett said pulling me out of my room

"Bella" I said slowly correcting him

"I like Betty" he responded even slower

Laughing, I followed him downstairs and into Jaspers room to find Jasper sitting on one of the chairs with a glass of what I could only assume was Jack Daniels in his hand.

"Welcome to the party" Jasper shouted grinning widely as I stepped through the door

"Looks like you already started" I laughed as Emmett poured me a small glass, I didn't want to be drinking lots now, I wanted to remember tonight

"Hey! When in Vegas" he said knocking back the rest of his glass, clicking the ice against his teeth.

I bit back a laugh as I watched my brother and Jasper engage in drunken banter. My assumption was that Emmett wasn't drinking much either but he always had this thing where he would try to humour anyone and make them feel comfortable and in this instance it was acting like a fool with a very drunk Jasper. About an hour later Emmett's phone began ringing and Hollywood undead filled the room. He quickly answered it and began laughing and mentioned Jaspers name a few times before hanging up

"That was Rose, the girls are ready so we are actually allowed to go see them. But you should know, Alice is very drunk" he said turning his attention to Jasper

"Awesome, glad its not just me" Jasper said swaying slightly, I laughed and helped hold him up as we left the room

We walked over towards Emmett's room and I couldn't help but feel knots in my stomach when I knew I was about to see her. Emmett walked into the room first followed by jasper once I was certain he was steady on his feet, not that it would have made a difference, as soon as he went through the door he ran straight up to Alice and into her arms. I slowly entered the room and my heart was banging against my chest desperate to see her, once my eyes locked on her I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face.

She's fucking amazing

She was wearing a black and white corseted top and the skinniest jeans possible, her hair was curled and fell loosely down her back and she had a small red ribbon in her hair. She was completely and utterly breathtaking and it was in that moment all my thoughts about us being just friends and not wanting to get too close went straight out of the window and all I wanted was to hold her. I shoved my hands in my pockets awkwardly and walked over to her giving her a small smile

"You look really good" she said smiling at me

"Thanks, you look really nice" I said smiling at her. I noticed her smile falter slightly and she looked at Rose and my sister out the corner of her eye, they were both staring at our little exchange with mouths wide open

Did I say something wrong?

But compliments always work with girls?

"No wait, nice isn't enough" I added quickly "you look stunningly beautiful" I told her biting my lip anxiously. She smiled and my heart melted, maybe I just hadn't said the right words, is nice really not enough? It never occurred to me before that she might be offended by it so I made a mental note to never say it again, as strange as that was.

"Thank you" she said quietly and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and to touch her cheek or her hair. She looked as anxious as I felt but my eyes never left her. Emmett began babbling something about actually getting married tonight; I was so surprised the Rose had agreed to it, who knew!

After a minute or two Emmett picked up Rose and began kissing her furiously and I felt a pang of jealously, I wanted that, I missed the feeling of being in a relationship or hell even being close to a girl so much, but I didn't deserve it.

Once he put her back down he took her hand and pulled her out the room giggling, I'm pretty sure he was off to find the nearest wedding chapel

"Looks like were starting the night with a bang then" I said to Bella giving her a smile I knew she liked, she started walking out the door and I pressed my hand to the small of her back leading her to follow the others. She didn't shy away from my touch; in fact she leant back into my hand.

Maybe tonight won't be so much of a disaster after all.

There you go, so Edward has alot of conflicting feelings that he can't really work out. He likes Bella but he is doing what he thinks he deserves, by not trying to be with her even though he desperatly wants to.

More will come on both their problems soon enough.

Any ideas on what might have happened with Edward? I'd love to hear them?

I promise the next chapter will be the night out in Vegas and ill try and get it up quicker than this one!

Reviewers get to marry the Twilight boy of their choice...They are all waiting at the Chapel!

bai

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