Ice: Good evening, everybody! I am the new Host!
Heathertail: Co-Host.
Ice: Right, whatever. I am the new co-host. Therefore, it shall be even more torturous to all who dare to stand in my way!!! MWAHAHAHAH-
Heathertail: Ice! Focus. Get on with showing everybody what happens.
Ice: Okay… *looks dejected*
Heathertail: *hands Ice a lollipop*
Ice: Yay! *licks it* On with the torture. *presses a button on a remote she had underneath her grey fendora and a screen comes out of a tree*
Screen: *shows Lionblaze and Ashfur walking up to a house's doggy door*
Lionblaze: *knocks on doggy door, and, of course, because doggy doors are flexible, falls right into the house along with Ashfur*
*two huge dogs walk in and growl menacingly at the pair*
First dog: What you want, foo'?! Me Bruce, this Dingo! You in our crib!
Dingo: 'Sup.
Lionblaze: We've come to play poker!
Ashfur: *pees self* Oopsie.
Bruce: *lights a cigarette* This way, yo'. Oh, and, get yo' friend a dipie or somethin'.
Lionblaze: Good idea. Here ya' go! *hands Ashfur a Depends from inside a kitty pocket* You can have one of mine.
Dingo: *walks into a small crowded room with lots of dogs and cigarette smoke, and indicates for them to follow*
Ashfur: *looks at Lionblaze and whispers* I'm scared.
Lionblaze: Don't worry, you will always know if you pee yourself, the diaper goes "ding" when you pee in it.
Ashfur: That's not what I meant-
Lionblaze: Sh, the game is starting!
*all play poker and Lionblaze wins*
Bruce: You husslin' us? Yo' neveh said you could do no pokeh! *cracks doggy knuckles, and takes a step at the two cats* C'mon, boys, let's show dese freaks wha' dogs do when dey is angry!
Ding!
(The rest has been censored for gore, violence, gore, blood, and gore. Did I mention the gore?)
Bluestar: Ever felt like you were going crazy with anxiety? 'Cause I certainly have, trust me. Well, no more! The new and patented security system I created with the help of Goosefeather (he is from Bluestar's Prophecy, so don't worry if you're not sure who he is)! I call it, BUBBLE WRAP!
*a bunch of cats come out wearing bubble wrap so much they can barely walk*
Bluestar: Watch! *pummels one of the cat's bellies* See? Not a scratch!
Goosefeather: *quickly* 'tactualyworkthankyou.
Ice: *wearing all black* Well, that was fun! Some of you may be wondering why I am wearing all black. Well, it's because I have two funerals to attend. *looks up with mock sincerity* Lionblaze and Ashfur, bless them… Not!
Heathertail: I've barely gotten any lines in here. I'm the host! You only get a few lines next time. Hmf.
Ice: Well, join us next time, on… WHEEL. OF. TORTURE!!!!!!