Based off of My Immortal & Twila, The Gurl Who Wuz In Luv Wif A Vampyre. And some Mel Brooks films.

Kazumi Glitter Insane Mania Dementia Pathological Bloodthirsty Homicidal Maniac Psycho Love Suicidal Killuall Hiv-virus Light and her two sisters, Midnite Vermilion Emerald Onyx Turquoise Ruby Garnet Topaz Amber Gold Silver Mica Obsidian Sapphire Feldspar Diamond Quartz Marble Light, and Rachel Light! They're triplets and all go to the same school!

In this episode, I'm not going to tell you what happens!

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Spoons, Washington is the BEST PLACE EVER!

It was lunch because I skipped school. Edward started taking pictures of Midnite. LOTS of them.

Of course Isabella was being emo today. I really don't care. Stan didn't come... I fear for the continuity.

Maybe my Expandiamonds hurt Stan...? What if he got a stronger enemy? "Meyer's thesaurus, what do I do?"

And then Meyer's thesaurus came. "I as you real ostentatious..."

"....what?!"

"I AS YOU OSTENTATIOUS!"

"Meyer's thesaurus, I don't understand!"

And then I woke up all bloodied. No wonder. "Stephenie Meyer's thesaurus spoke to me... It had...half of it's pages ripped out, and some broken... That poor thesaurus."

Ruby nodded. "Kazumi, just sleep. You've lost a lot of blood and can now be killed."

"But... I have to gift organisms."

"I can do that. Kazumi... just stay here with me..."

"Ruby...?"

Ruby was crying. "I'll go get you some people to eat..."

"But... we're Meyer vampires..."

"Yes, but we're not the Cullens. We eat people. Not animals like those hippies. We still sparkle with Expandiamonds, though." Ruby left.

The nurse opened the window and I sparkled via expandiamonds. "Close the window. I hate being a sparklebutt."

"I'M A BAD PERSON!!!!!"

"Oh, great, EDWARD'S here."

"You can't stop ME! I'll KILL you this time!"

"What the huh?! You did this?! But you're a hippie!"

"I'm a bad person."

"We're not people!"

"Oh really?!"

"Yeah, Jacob said so. And werewolves are always right."

"What?!"

"Yeah, werewolves are always right. I like werewolves. Even though I eat people, I like werewolves."

"You're stupid, you know that, right?"

"At least I'm not an a-hole like you!" And then he tried to kill me. Midnite made sure to stop his hand. "Don't TOUCH my sister."

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