Accountability

Chapter Summary: We get a good look into the Doctor's past and reveal why he is so overwhelmed at present.

Warnings: Angst, lime, trauma, mild gore.

Chapter 7: Why Me.

The Doctor was out of his mind as he moved around the kitchen. He couldn't do this. He couldn't face Jack with this. If it happened twice, if he lost everything again, he wouldn't survive it. He wasn't capable of this and he'd proved it.

Gallifrey. Theta: Age 200

Theta Sigma sat in his chair, bored as the headmaster spoke to the class. His leg bounced impatiently. He wanted to get to phys ed so bad. It was track day and he was itching to go. Next to him, Koschei had one foot up on the desk, rocking back in his chair with a pencil balanced on his curled upper lip, also bored.

"As you all may have heard, the time is upon us to enter our cycles. While you are of the age to be affected, you are not mature enough to join the adults in this week."

Koschei rolled his eyes and leaned over to Theta.

"Yes. Heaven forbid we enjoy ourselves in this god awful place," he whispered. Theta grinned back at him in agreement.

"You are to be quarantined to your individual rooms throughout the week to protect you not only from any unbonded staff but from each other as well. You are not to leave your rooms under any circumstance. This is for your own safety and you are to follow these rules no matter what. Consequences for breaking the quarantine will be severe. Now go to your next class and prepare yourselves for confinement at the end of the school day."

All the students stood at once. Theta stretched languidly, the joints of his spine and shoulders cracking. Koschei stood beside him, ready to get out of the classroom. Slowly, they began to file out into the halls. As soon as they passed the headmaster and crossed the threshold it began.

"This is for your own safety," he mocked, deepening his voice and turning his nose up in the air. "You are not mature enough for an entire week of mindless sex. It is illegal for youngsters to enjoy themselves in any way."

Theta laughed, nudging his partner in the ribs. "I know. I can't believe we actually had to sit through that whole speech. It's not like it's that hard to control yourself. Is it really necessary to lock us up?"

"Screw that," Koschei said, rolling his eyes again. "I'm not spendin' a whole week locked up alone with nothing to do but study."

"But how are going to get out of it. You don't want another beating do you?"

"You really think they'll be paying attention," Koschei told him. "All the professors are gonna be shacked up together and screwing. They won't notice one of us slipping out. I'll wait until they all lose it with each other and pop over to your room. Then I just slip back before the week is out."

They turned into the locker rooms to change.

"But what about when it hits us," Theta asked as he pulled off his class robe. "Won't we end up going after each other?"

"Like you said," Koschei told him as he pulled on his track shorts. "It's not that hard to control yourself. And unless you're keeping secrets, neither of us are interested in men."

They pulled on their shirts and trainers while Theta thought about it. He was more attracted to personality than gender if he was honest with himself, but this was Koschei. There may have been a time when they first met that he thought of those muscled arms as more than what protected him from the other boys. The blue eyes and messy blonde hair coupled with that mischievous smirk may have been more than endearing. But now he was just Koschei. They were friends and Theta didn't have many of those here. He was different than the other boys at the school and they knew it. He loved learning as much as any other Time Lord but his love for physical activity coupled with his inborn distaste for authority made him odd. He was smaller than the others and that only made him more of a target for them. He would often find himself cornered in the halls and left with bruises to show him just how much he didn't belong. Then he'd met Koschei during an assembly. While the rest of the student body sat listening with rapt attention, he was daydreaming to himself. Then he had heard a low muttering beside him. Koschei had been doing that same impersonation of the headmaster then. Theta had been unable to hold in a quiet giggle.

Koschei had looked over at him, thrilled that someone else found his impression amusing. They spent the whole assembly that way. Koschei went on making rude comments in the headmaster's voice until Theta was doubled over in barely contained laughter. They had been attached at the hip ever since.

"I suppose you're right," they walked out to the track together. "So what are we going to do for a week?"

"What, now I've got to think of everything? You're the brains of this operation," Koschei said, stretching his legs by the side of the track. They were the first ones out as everyone else liked to hide out in the locker rooms as long as possible to avoid as much exercise as they could.

"Alright, alright." Theta stretched straight down to touch his toes. "I'll come up with something. Maybe even smuggle a deck of cards. I've been reading about some earth card games that sound like fun."

"Right then. Loser buys lunch," Koschei called as he took off down the track.

"Oi! Not fair!"

xxxxxx

Theta sat, leaning back at his desk with a book and snacking on crisps. The rooms had been checked and locked and that meant Koschei would be there any minute. He had snacks, board games and that deck of cards he'd promised to get. A week in his room didn't seem so bad as long as he wasn't alone. Sure enough, there was the sound of tinkering at his door followed by the click of the lock. Koschei came waltzing through the door, twirling a lock pick on his finger.

"Told you. Easy peasy. Everyone's all wrapped up in each other."

"Yes yes. You're amazing," Theta said, rolling his eyes. "Now what do you wanna do?"

"Eat. I'm bloody starving. What have we got?"

"Crisps, cakes, jerky,"

"Jerky's mine," Koschei called, grabbing the bag from the desk and flopping down on the cot. He tore into it like he hadn't eaten in days even though they'd been served dinner only two hours before. Theta took one of the snack cakes for himself, nibbling on the edge of it.

"Why's it so hot in here? My room's not this hot."

"Dunno," Theta said, stretching as he stood to put the book back on the shelf. "Maybe the heating's gone a bit off. I don't suppose maintenance has the attention span to fix it right now."

They laughed at that. Breaking out the deck, Theta showed his companion how to play Black Jack. Koschei didn't like to lose though. After six or seven hands, he threw the cards down, declaring it was a stupid game and he was going to bed. He took the spare pillow and blankets to set himself up on the floor.

"Don't be a sore loser, Koschei."

"Screw you," he growled, crawling under the blankets.

"I'm just saying. You don't have to throw a fit about it. Everyone loses sometimes."

"Shut up! I didn't lose because it was dumb. Dumb earth games don't count."

"Oh, please," Theta growled. "At least tell the truth. It doesn't count because nothing ever counts when I win."

He wasn't sure why he was making such a big deal out of this. He'd always let it go when Koschei had one of his sulking bouts over losing. But this time, he felt the need to keep going. It was poking the bear and he knew it but even that knowledge didn't deter him.

"What are you saying," Koschei growled back.

"I'm saying you're a child who can't stand it when they don't get their way."

Koschei sprung up from his makeshift bed then. He marched up to Theta until their faces were less than an inch apart. His expression was one of barely contained fury.

"Take it back," he snarled. Theta stared him down with a growl of his own.

"Child."

Theta winced as he was grabbed by his robes and slammed against a wall. Koschei pinned him there with one hand while the other pulled back to land a punch to his jaw. Finding a strength he didn't know he had, he shoved the larger boy off him, landing his own punch to the gut. Koschei let out a feral growl and grabbed hold of Theta, pinning him to the floor. Theta thrashed and bucked beneath him in a sad attempt to escape. He snarled and snapped and tried his hardest to buck the other boy off. Koschei used his size to his advantage and held the smaller boy down while he fought, letting him tire himself out.

Eventually, he stilled, breathing hard and glaring up at his friend. Koschei stared back. The air was thick with tension and aggression and something else neither could identify. That mystery element soon became clear.

It was Koschei who made the first move, crashing their lips together in a bruising kiss. Teeth gnashed together and tongues tangled with the ferocity and desperation that poured from them both. Hands fisted in robes and ripped them open, exposing Theta's bare chest. Aching to feel naked flesh, Koschei dove into the torn garment, his touch roaming over any part of his companion he could reach. Theta's arms wrapped around his neck and his back arched, giving better access to his lean form.

Somewhere in the back of his head, a voice screamed at him to stop this, that he was messing up the only friendship he had in this hell hole, but his body refused to listen, seeking only to quench this newly ignited fire. It felt good when Koschei touched him and that was all that mattered now. The kisses had moved to his neck, exciting the nerve endings there. Little nips mixed in just the right amount of pain to make it feel even better.

Koschei's mind and body burned as he moved frantically, mapping out every curve, every freckle of the willing body beneath him with hands and lips and tongue, committing it all to memory. He didn't know what had come over them and for the moment he didn't care. One thought, one need was all consuming. Mine. He had to claim the other boy. He needed to own him completely.

Theta gasped as the rest of his robe was torn through. His pants followed, the cloth shredded, leaving him bare beneath the piercing gaze of the other boy. He looked up into the icy blue eyes, dark with lust as they held his own green ones. Koschei pulled off his own clothes hurriedly to leave himself bared as well. Thjeta's gaze fell between the other boy's legs and heat flared through him stronger than before. It stood proud from its nest of blonde curls. The word manageable came to mind. It was by no means small but not overly impressive either. But he wanted it. His head fell back and he moaned as his legs were lifted to hook over broad shoulders and his body sang as he was entered for the first time.

xxxxxx

Everything was a blur from then on. When he tried to remember the events of that week, all he got was the ghost of pleasure and shadows of the time they'd spent together. Small sections came in clear, like when he'd been taken against the wall and bent over the desk but other couplings came up vague and abstract. When the haze had worn off they could barely look at each other. It seemed the adults were still in the thick of it so Koschei had decided to slip out to his own room to be sure they wouldn't get caught.

That was the last time they had seen each other. They would spare glances when they passed in the halls and Theta could feel Koschei staring at him during classes but neither of them spoke. While Koschei had other friends to sit with at lunch and in class, Theta found himself completely alone. Everything was back to the way it had been before they met. He was shoved and shouldered in the halls, his books knocked out of his arms. At one point he'd even been shoved into a wall hard enough that his head cracked against it. The culprits had walked away laughing and when his vision had cleared, he had spotted Koschei just a few feet away. He'd seen the entire thing and done nothing to help. He stared at Theta with a look he couldn't place and turned to head off on his own way.

He couldn't bear it. Theta hauled himself off the floor and headed for the nearest bathroom. Thankful it was empty, he locked himself in one of the stalls. He slid down, back to the door and broke down into quiet tears. Those tears became uncontrollable sobs. What had he done wrong? Had he offended the other boy somehow? He hadn't started this, so why was he the one being punished? It was Koschei's idea to break the stupid quarantine and now he was treating poor Theta like he had the plague. What hurt the most was that he would give anything just to have Koschei near him again. He didn't care if it was as friends or lovers anymore as long as they were together.

After an hour, he'd finally calmed down enough to go to his next class. Theta walked out into the empty halls, his mind still wandering with thoughts of Koschei and how he could possibly repair their friendship. The next thing his mind registered was pain as he found himself shoved into a wall the second time that day.

"Look who's all alone," One of the boys sneered.

There were three of them looming over him, hiding him from view if anyone should happen to pass by. One of them he recognized as Gamma grabbed him around the throat.

"What happened? Koschei finally sick of putting up with you? Has he lost patience with the weirdo?"

Gamma's grip tightened, choking him as he was pushed slowly up the wall. Theta grabbed at his arm, trying to free himself as he was lifted higher and higher until his feet were no longer touching the floor. The cruel hand on his neck grasped even tighter making breathing almost impossible while spots flashed in his vision. He had to relax, had to calm himself or respiratory bypass wouldn't kick in, but he couldn't stop the panic from rising.

"Hey!"

Theta tried to see who yelled but the edges of his vision were going black. Then he was on his knees, gasping for breath. Koschei stood before him with Gamma's wrist trapped in his grip. Again, he didn't spare a glance for his friend, focused entirely on the others in front of him. His face was one of twisted enjoyment as his hand slowly closed tighter and tighter.

"Funny things, bones," he said with a sick grin. "Usually so strong, but find just the right place and apply just the right amount pressure like so,"

There was a sickening snap followed by Gamma's tortured screams until Koschei let go. He chuckled with a dark satisfaction.

"They become oh so fragile, don't they?"

His expression turned serious with a growled command for them to leave. The other two hauled their friend up and took off down and around the corner. Finally, he turned to face Theta. He was noticeably conflicted as he stared down. He seemed to make a decision and knelt down in front of the other boy.

Theta winced as Koschei ran his fingers lightly over the angry red hand print on his throat. It would bruise without a doubt. Anger flashed in those blue eyes briefly before giving way to regret. Comforting hands cupped his face and their foreheads touched. Theta closed his eyes, savoring the contact since it could be taken away at any moment and he could easily return to being invisible.

"I can't keep doing this, Theta."

Theta's heart sank.

"I can't keep pretending nothing happened. I thought if I stayed away it would get easier. Maybe this feeling would go away."

What was he talking about?

"But I'm through fighting it. You're mine and if I have to force you to believe that so I can protect you then so be it."

And just like that, Koschei was kissing him. Their first proper kiss. Theta didn't fight it in the slightest, letting his eyes slide shut and tilting his chin up for a more comfortable angle. He submitted easily, surrendering himself to this claiming act. Koschei was thrilled by the lack of resistance as he staked his claim on the other Time Lord. Theta was his and all too willing to accept that. Koschei gently coaxed his friend, no, his lover to open his mouth, letting his tongue slip past those soft lips to deepen the kiss. The need to possess and to mark his territory only grew as he plundered the wet cavern. He was careful to avoid the delectatio. It simply wouldn't do for them to lose control in the hall where they were easily caught. No, that would have to wait. Right now he just wanted everyone to know that Theta was his and no one else was to touch him.

They reluctantly broke apart. Theta leaned into one of the palms cupping his cheek, willing this to continue.

"I missed you," he said quietly, trying to keep himself from crying again.

"Missed you too," Koschei replied.

He stood and held out a hand to help Theta up. Curling his arms around the slim waist, Kochei pulled his new lover to him. He hadn't expected Theta would accept this so easily. They'd bonded accidentally so he had expected to be met with resentment, especially as he tried to claim Theta, hater of authority, as his. But none of that mattered now. Theta was all too willing to be his and they were together. He pressed one final, chaste kiss to those full pink lips.

"Come on before we miss another class."

"How did you know where I was," Theta asked as he was led down hall with Koschei's hand resting on his lower back.

"Well," he started. "I sort of followed you to make sure you were alright. I was waiting for you to come out of the bathroom and then those assholes showed up."

Theta just smiled. So his friend still cared after all.

"So...what are we now?"

"I told you," Koschei said. "You're mine whether you like it or not." He nudged the other boy playfully.

"So," Theta asked with a smile. "Does that mean I can do this?"

Theta leaned closer into Koschei, resting his head on his shoulder. Koschei curled an arm tighter around him and smiled.

"Yes. You can definitely do that."

xxxxx

They fell into an easy routine over the following weeks. Koschei would come to Theta's room each morning to pick him up. Any class they didn't have together Theta was escorted to and picked up afterward and they sat as close to each other as possible when they did share a class. Lunch was often spent in one of their rooms. While they hadn't actually slept together since that week they would spend the whole lunch period and any free periods they had snogging. Theta found his favorite place was quickly becoming Koschei's lap. It was amazing how that week had changed their feelings for each other. He was aware that there had been a chemical change in himself but he was surprised at how much Koschei had been effected. However, troubling signs started to emerge.

"Where were you," Koschei whispered as Theta took his seat. He was late for class again. The last few days had the Time Lord showing up late to at least one class. "You were already gone when I came to pick you up his morning and now you're late here."

"Sorry," Theta whispered back. "I was in the bathroom."

"Again? That excuse only works so many times you know."

"It's not an excuse," he said, laying his head on the blessedly cool desk top. "I keep feeling like I'm going to be ill."

"Still," Koschei asked worriedly. "It's been three days now."

"I know," Theta yawned.

"Tired too?"

Theta nodded, closing his eyes as the coldness of the desk soothed his pounding head. He didn't want to tell Koschei he had actually been getting ill. He didn't want him to worry. The force and frequency of it had his head throbbing and pulsing painfully behind his eyes. Koschei's fingers started carding through his hair comfortingly.

"You should see the nurse."

Theta shook his head. "'m fine."

"I'm sorry. Let me make that a bit clearer. You're going to the nurse," Koschei said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"Will you stay with me," he asked with just a hint of pleading.

"Yes. I'll stay."

"Kay."

He couldn't even hear the lecture. His lover stroking his hair was the only thing getting through to him. He wasn't sure when he'd nodded off but soon Koschei was waking him up for his trip to the nurse. He really didn't want to go. He had a bad feeling about it. Still, he knew Koschei wouldn't let him out of it but he wouldn't let them hurt him or do anything he didn't want either. He leaned heavily on the taller boy, still not entirely awake.

"Come on love. Almost there."

Theta yawned, and nodded. Koschei held him tightly, not quite trusting his coordination. Something was definitely wrong. He was a minute away from saying screw it and carrying him to the nurse. He looked ready to drop over any minute.

The nurse looked up from her book as they entered.

"Oh my. Poor dear looks like death warmed over," she said, moving over to support Theta's other side. "Let's get him on the cot."

Theta had been on the cot all of thirty seconds before his lack of sleep caught up with him. He was out cold again. The nurse tried to wake him but Koschei stopped her.

"He needs it. He's been exhausted and vomiting for three days straight now."

"Oh my. Let me take his vitals and then I'll run a few scans. Let's see here."

The nurse opened a drawer, removing several scanners. Picking one up, she motioned Koschei off to one side. She turned a dial and a ray of green light came across the cot. It scanned over his hearts and a healthy four patterned beat filled the room. The lungs came up fine and his blood pressure reading was positive. She continued the scan, heading steadily toward his toes but as the beam reached his abdomen there was another sound. It sounded like a rapid, tiny tapping. Koschei's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What on earth is that?"

"That," the nurse snapped, turning off the device. "Is the source of the problem. It looks like someone broke quarantine."

"How do you figure that," Koschei growled, not liking her suddenly threatening tone.

"Well there's only one time we can conceive and he couldn't have done it to himself," she said, scrawling something on a chart and picking up her desk phone.

"Wait. So he's,"

"Pregnant. Yes."

Koschei looked down at the sleeping form and gently took one pale hand in his. A baby. Their baby. The school wasn't going to take well to this. He'd be damned if he'd let them ruin it for them though. He couldn't keep himself from laying a palm over the flat belly and imagining the little hearts beating inside, the little life dwelling there. He was going to be a daddy. There was no stopping the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. Pride welled up in him as he pressed a gentle kiss to Theta's forehead. They would soon be parents and it thrilled him.

xxxxx

"So did you tell your parent's yet?"

"Yes," Theta said, rolling his eyes. "They think the three of us should do it alone and cut you out. They weren't very happy when I told them I'd rather do it entirely alone than do it without you. What about your parents?"

They turned the corner to enter their first class.

"They want nothing to do with us or the baby. I'm officially disowned."

"Don't sound so upset," Theta teased.

"I'm not. Never liked them anyway. But my intelligence has saved us," Koschei said with a smile. "I emptied my bank account before I told them."

"And how does that save us," Theta asked.

"They'd been giving me five hundred credits a month allowance since I was three and I've never spent a cent of it."

"But. ...but that's over,"

"Exactly."

Theta flopped down in his chair, eyes wide.

"I can't believe it."

"I know. We can buy ourselves a little place, pay cash, buy everything the baby needs and still have a decent chunk of walking around money left over."

"No," he said, glaring over at Koschei. "I can't believe I've been paying for your food while you sat on that nest egg."

"You should lose bets less," Koschei shrugged. "So I say we take a year or two off school,"

"Or hire tutors mister money bags."

"Focus on just us and the baby for awhile. Then, when they're older, we can hire a nanny for while we're at school during the day."

Theta smiled. "I actually really like the sound of that. When did you want to start looking for a place?"

"We have three open houses after school today. Pick whichever one you like."

xxxxxx

Theta sat down on the sofa with a few magazines.

"These are some different nursery themes. I've circled a few I like and I wanted your opinion."

Koschei leaned forward to see the pictures as Theta spread the magazines open on the coffee table. There were a few he liked but some seemed downright bizarre.

"My child is not sleeping in a Judoon themed bedroom."

"Oh, but kids love them. I always wanted Judoon toys when I was younger. They were the it thing."

"Were being the operative word. You try to sleep with one of those things staring at you. And no ducks. The ducky theme is just lazy."

Theta pouted as two of his favorites were eliminated. He turned the page to show the Jungle theme and the butterfly theme. Jungle was decided on as the theme for a boy and after an hour of arguing, they chose a Bagorax theme for a girl. They were adorable creatures. They looked like rabbits with electric blue and pale pink fur. With that out of the way they decided to settle down for the night with a movie.

xxxxx

Koschei smiled as he caught his lover in the bedroom, standing in front of the full length mirror sideways with his shirt pulled up. He was staring at the barely noticeable bulge there, running his fingers over it.

"I can't believe this tiny bump already has me up a trouser size."

Koschei laughed.

"It's only because you were so skinny to begin with. Just wait until your belly button pops out."

Theta's head jerked toward him in alarm.

"No."

Koschei shrugged,walking down to start breakfast with an amused smile as Theta called after him.

"You are kidding, right? That doesn't happen. Koschei, tell me you're kidding."

xxxxx

"Koschei," he whispered, gently shaking him. "Koschei, are you awake?"

The blonde sighed, turning over to face the other.

"I am now. What is it?"

"You don't suppose that little shop with the sandwiches I like is open, do you?"

"No, I don't suppose they're open at," he glanced at the alarm clock. "Three in the morning."

"Oh," Theta said with a hint of disappointment. Koschei sat up.

"Would you like me to make you one?"

"You don't have to," he said with a sigh. "I guess I can just wait until tomorrow."

"Fine then," Koschei said, rolling over to go back to sleep.

It was quiet for a minute or two before Theta sighed loudly.

"Right." Koschei threw the blankets off him, pulling on his robe and slippers.

"You really don't have to. I don't want to trouble you."

"The usual?"

"Yes please."

He made his way down the stairs, grumbling to himself as he went to the kitchen and pulled out what he needed. Ten minutes later, he was tromping back up with a plate and a bottle of water.

"Here."

"Thank you," Theta said, giving Koschei a big smile.

Koschei laid down again, trying to get back to sleep.

"Is there pickle in this," Theta asked with his mouth full.

"Yes, just the way you always get it."

Theta shot out of bed, running for the bathroom and the sound of retching echoed through the second floor. Koschei sat up and turned to face the wall, banging his head against it over and over.

xxxxx

Theta carefully moved his hands away, holding his breath. That was when Koschei walked in to see his lover with his feet up on the coffee table balancing the bowl on his bulging belly.

"What are you doing?"

"I learned a new trick. Now shut up or it'll fall."

xxxxx

"Come on," Koschei said, nudging the rounded belly. "Just once for daddy."

"She doesn't want to."

"How do you know?"

"I don't, but if you poke me one more time you'll get a kick for sure. And it won't be from her."

xxxxx

Theta was pacing the room, trying to keep calm. Koschei sat in the chair beside the bed, his leg bouncing as he chewed his thumb nail impatiently. It always seemed so much faster in the films. Your water broke, you drove to the hospital and fifteen to twenty minutes later you had your baby. Though he supposed they couldn't possibly put all twenty seven hours of labor into the film.

"I want my clothes," Theta growled. "I hate this stupid gown. Why can't I just wear my own clothes? What did I pack them for if I can't wear them."

"You can wear them after the birth. Right now they need quick access in case of complications," Koschei told him.

"Well it's stupid! They could at least make them white instead of this disgusting floral."

He kept pacing, wincing as another contraction hit. The doctor walked in then, picking up his chart and flipping through it.

"Okay, Theta. How are you doing," he asked.

"Oh I'm just peachy," he growled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Well, why don't you lie down and we'll see how things are progressing."

He lay back on the bed, praying for good news. He was overjoyed when he was told he could start pushing. Koschei was right there to hold his hand he entire time as he went through contraction after contraction, surrounded by nurses making notes and taking measurements while the doctor stayed seated between his legs, waiting for the baby to crown.

"Okay, Theta. I can see her head. One more should do it."

Koschei squeezed his hand. "There we are. Just once more and she'll be here. Little Emma will be right here with us."

Theta took a deep breath and braced himself, giving a big push. Relief flooded him as the intense pressure was gone. He laid back against the pillows, gasping for breath. It was finally over but something was wrong. It was quiet. He leaned forward, looking down where a nurse was holding Emma and rushing out of the room.

"Wait a minute," he said. "Where is she going? Where are you taking her? Why isn't she crying?"

The doctor was talking to another nurse in hushed tones before he too left the room.

"Wait," Theta yelled. "Where's Emma? What's going on? Where's my baby?"

No one told them anything and Koschei was stopped when he tried to follow. They sat in the room, not knowing where their baby was or if she was okay. The doctor entered the room again, looking tired. Koschei was the first to jump on him, gripping the front of the white lab coat.

"Someone better tell me what the bloody hell is going on! That's my daughter you've taken and if I don't hear something in the next five seconds you're going to find yourself with a new face!"

The doctor took hold of Koschei's wrists, looking sadly between him and Theta.

"I'm sorry," he said. "She's no longer with us."

Koschei looked at him in disbelief. Theta stared blankly at the wall across from him.

"Her hearts were weak and they stopped with each contraction," the doctor was explaining, but Theta couldn't hear him. He could only stare as it slowly sank in. His baby was gone. She was dead. He would never hold his little girl. He brought his knees up to his chest and started to sob.

xxxxx

TARDIS. The Doctor: Age 945

The Doctor sat against the wall of the kitchen, hugging his knees as silent tears streamed down his face. His daughter, taken from him before her life began. The first man to ever hold his heart, ripped away by the trauma and emotional stress. And now it was all happening again. He couldn't do it again. If Jack left he would end himself and that would be it. The TARDIS hummed frantically, the humming getting louder and louder until a hand came down on his shoulder.

"Doc? Hey," Jack sat beside him, alarm clear on his face. "What's wrong sweethearts?"

Seeing Jack right now was the final nail in the coffin. He broke down and threw himself into Jack's arms, sobbing.

"Hey now. Calm down," he said, stroking his fingers through the brown spikes. "Tell me all about it, baby."