I Was a Teenage Dummy Plug

Part 7: Ryoji Kaji, International Man of Mystery / Persistence of Memory

A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfic by Logan J. Goodhue

*** Disclaimer***

Neon Genesis Evangelion is © and ™ GAiNAX, et al.

This story is for nonprofit entertainment only.

First Version, 1JUL2003; Current version 21JUL2003

Ryoji Kaji, International Man of Mystery

My latest annoyance in Tokyo-3 sat patiently across from me, a wide smirk barely disturbing the stubble along his jaw. Kaji's brown eyes were alight with mischief, showing traces of the Boy Band charisma that had lured Misato in however long ago. The overall effect seemed to say, "You can trust me with your secrets, sweetheart. You can trust me with everything."

I was glad as hell that it wasn't affecting me. I began to examine the objects before me on the table. I started with the wallet.

It was made from battered black cloth with a frayed Velcro™ closure. Several bills of American currency peeked out of the top, and a central pocket was stuffed to bursting with water-damaged business cards. The thing that drew most of my attention was the driver's license beneath the thin plastic window in another pocket; the photo of the heavyset man with glasses, a beard, and almost as mischievous a smile as Kaji's; the face I had called my own.

A little shaken, I turned my gaze towards the DVD case, and felt my heart plummet. It was ADV's third installment of Neon Genesis Evangelion, with Commander Ikari's stern visage scowling disapprovingly in ink and paint on the cover. I reached for the case and opened it, revealing an empty spindle.

'Where's the DVD?' I thought to myself. 'Does Gendo have it? Can he even watch it? Is this the only one he has?' A sudden chill went up my spine at the thought of the Bastard King having access to Death and Rebirth and End of Evangelion. Kaji reached over and took the case from my unresisting fingers. He leaned back in his chair and gazed at me through half-lidded eyes, waiting for me to respond.

I took a deep breath and replied, "It's a pilot thing. You wouldn't understand." I began to smirk myself as Kaji looked at me in confusion. I sighed. "I thought you'd appreciate that little bit of levity, Mister Kaji. I'm sure you get sick of people telling you, 'If I told you, I'd have to kill you,' whenever you're near classified material."

His confusion didn't last long, and his smirk returned full force. "Well, it appears you have me at a disadvantage. You know who I am, but I can't say the same for you."

"What do you mean? You've called me by name already."

"But that's just it. I don't think 'Emi Arizona Ayanami' is your real name."

I froze and looked at him. "Why not?" I asked.

"Because prior to Wednesday, September twenty-third, 2015, 'Emi Arizona Ayanami' simply did not exist in any database in either Japan or the United States."

"And how did you know that?"

His smirk was exchanged for a face-splitting grin. "I watched Doctor Akagi hack into the American Social Security database."

"She obviously wasn't aware she had an audience," I replied, deadpan. "So, where did you get the wallet and the Commander's portrait? I already know that you're at least a triple agent, so you don't need to feel shy about telling me that you were snooping about."

"Well," he said, looking at his watch and nimbly evading the question, "my busy schedule keeps me from staying too much longer." He stood, stretched, and then scooped up the DVD case and wallet. He walked past me towards the door.

"Just a moment, Ryoji," I said, putting what little steel I could into my voice. It was obviously enough, as he turned back with his hand on the doorknob. "Depending on who you're really working for, I might be able to help you." I interrupted him as he was about to reply. "On the condition that Captain Katsuragi is present whenever we . . . 'chat' . . . in the future. Is that okay?"

"Of course!" Kaji beamed at me and reached into his shirt pocket. He flipped a rectangular piece of plastic at me. I caught it as he threw in his parting shot. "I believe you dropped this. Have a nice evening, Miss Ayanami." With that, he walked out into the night.

I looked at the phone card in bemusement. I idly turned it over in my hands and gasped at the artwork on the other side: Rei in a yukata, or summer kimono, under the moon. Memory flashed, and I remembered the last day of my life before I woke up in the "Reiquarium."

Persistence of Memory

I put my car in park and turned off the engine. I got out and locked the doors. While this was a quiet neighborhood most of the time, it was Friday night, and the college kids in the apartment block up the street were having a party. I was fortunate to even have a parking space. I shook my head and staggered to the front door of my house.

It had been a really long day at work, and I was looking forward to a hot meal and some rest and relaxation before I went to bed. Opening the door, I was hit with the aroma of Italian cooking. I sniffed and smiled.

'Lasagna,' I thought dreamily. 'Good ol' Mom!' I grabbed a serving and read the note next to a FedEx box on the kitchen table:

Logan,

This came for you today. Dad and I weren't feeling too well, so we've gone to bed. There's plenty of lasagna on the stove.

Love, Mom.

I set my lasagna in the microwave and turned my attention to the box. I checked the address and was pleased to discover that it was from one of the numerous online anime shops. I quickly made my past the shipping seals and ripped through the bubble wrap to find a package of Evangelion phone cards, a Nadesico art book, and a large box that purported to be a special edition of the S^2 Works Neon Genesis Evangelion Soundtrack Collection. At least, that's what I thought it said. Due to my limited knowledge of Japanese, all I could make out was the NERV logo, "Evangelion," and "S^2."

My ruminations were interrupted when the microwave beeped, and I retrieved my radioactive repast. Goodies in one hand, and my dinner in the other, I trekked my way into the living room and set up camp in the big recliner in front of the television. A little fiddling with the remote control, and I was basking in the blue glow of late prime-time programming.

I made short work of the lasagna and set the plate aside with a satisfied belch. 'Momma cooks some good Italian for someone of Irish descent!' I mused. Smiling, I raked my eyes across the DVD and CD racks by the TV and decided that I had time to watch some anime before I went to bed. Besides, I'd already seen the episode of CSI: Whatever.

'Now, what to watch?' I wondered. In a fit of whimsy I spun the DVD rack and randomly chose a disc of Evangelion. I popped the disc into the player and sat back to enjoy the angst fest. As I waited for the ADV trailers to finish, I began to open the S^2 Works box. I easily tore through the shrink-wrap and pried open the flaps on the box. I was bemused at what I found.

It was a shiny red sphere about eight inches in diameter. 'Well, it's big enough to hold seven CD's, anyway,' I thought. I pulled it from the box and examined it more closely. It felt like some kind of ceramic, and I couldn't find any seams anywhere. 'What the Hell?' It was beginning to warm up, and I heard a slight rhythmic pulse, like a heartbeat.

I looked closer, and noticed that my reflection in the sphere wasn't distorted. That was highly unusual for a spherical surface. I frowned. Something wasn't right here. Just as "Cruel Angel's Thesis" began playing on the DVD's menu screen, motion on the floor caught my attention. I looked down and saw a dark circular shadow that encompassed the recliner, an end table, and a few DVD cases. I began to freak out as I felt a falling sensation and saw the floor getting closer. As darkness surrounded me, a feminine voice seemed to whisper.

:: Sleep, :: it "said." :: Sleep, and be reborn, my child. ::

After the memory finished playing out, I blinked and found myself staring at Rei. Mild curiosity touched her features.

"What were you doing, Emi?" she asked evenly.

I smiled gently at her. "Just reliving some memories." I glanced at the clock and stood up. If I wanted to be in any shape to go through hours of grueling tests, I needed to go to bed. "You don't need to worry about it, but thanks, anyway." I wrapped my arms around her in a sisterly hug and kissed her cheek. "Good night, Rei. I love you."

As I walked to my bedroom, I spared a glance back at her. She still stood where I had left her, a look of confusion on her face that included just the barest hint of a smile, and her hand on her cheek. I opened the door and walked in, barely noticing when Rei spoke.

"Good night, Sister."

***Author's notes***

Well, this is a short chapter for me, but I felt that my faithful readers deserved something for having to wait so long on Chapter Six.

Chapter Eight preview:

Emi has some "Girl Talk" with Doctor Akagi, and deals with Kensuke's love letter. Will she be able to maintain a professional relationship with Ritsuko? Will she be able to make Kensuke stop stalking her? Oh, and there'll be some fan service, too!

Next time on I Was a Teenage Dummy Plug: Ritsuko Blinded Me With Science / Love Stinks.