I'm back and first I want to thank everyone for their reviews. I know that JJ seems to be acting selfishly right now, but I will say that an upcoming flashback will show that the state of their relationship wasn't just caused by JJ. There are always two sides to a story. Additionally, there are some identity issues JJ is dealing with which will be addressed soon.
Also, there have been some interesting predictions about how this story is going to play out and I love reading them. But I will say this: this story is not like any other cliché Emily/JJ story you've ever read so expect the unexpected. And that is all I'm going to say about that -Forrest Gump.
Surprisingly the Senate hearing had gone well, and, of course, Emily had known exactly what to say. Emily always knew exactly what to say. But even though Emily was back with the team and the two women had agreed to be friends, it was still tense and they weren't really spending that much time together. Emily was spending more time with Morgan, attempting to make up for her 'death,' and JJ was trying to repair her relationship with Reid, which was significantly better after Emily's talk with him. It was a skill the brunette had, she always knew what you needed to hear whether you wanted to hear it or not.
But there was someone else who always seemed to have a few words of quirky wisdom for any willing to listen. Someone who, somehow, knew everything, well except for that one thing Emily and JJ had agreed to never speak of again.
"Hello buttercup, how are you doing?" Garcia asked as she popped her head into JJ's office, the new profiler working on a stack of consults.
"Okay" JJ smiled as she looked up from the case file. "I don't get how everyone else can go through these so fast."
"Well you're still a newbie" Garcia smiled as walked into the office and shut the door behind her, taking a seat in the chair across from JJ. "But I'm not here for business but for pleasure, because it is just killing me to know."
"To know?" JJ asked with an eyebrow raised. "To know what?"
"What's going on with you and Gumdrop, duh. What? Did you think I would just forget about that five-year ongoing game of scissor me timbers you've been playing?"
"PEN!" JJ scolded with a blush. "What if someone heard you?"
"Please" Garcia scoffed as she waved the other woman off. "Everyone on the team, except Reid, already knows. We really do need to do something about that boy. Anyway Gumdrop's back and I'm just wondering, have you…"
"No" JJ interjected, cutting the other woman off with a curt tone as she rubbed her temples in frustration. She had been thinking about Emily enough as it was without Garcia bringing her up.
"No you won't tell me or no you guys are really done?"
"Both" JJ firmly stated as Garcia glared at her. "We're just friends."
"Ha, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard" The technical analyst laughed as JJ glared at her, prompting Garcia to clarify what she meant. "You two have been doing this for five years honey. I don't know if that's ever going to go away. Let me explain this for you mon petite mon ami…"
"Your French is terrible" JJ cut in with a grin while Garcia ignored the interruption, pressing on in her explanation.
"JJ, there are some people who are just drawn to each other. People who, no matter how much they try to fight it, are always going to fall into the same pattern because they just really love each other. And maybe what they have is imperfect, maybe it's twisted, maybe it's even unhealthy, but it's there and it's real. You my friend are one of those people, and so is Emster. You are in love with her and I think you always have been. I think you always will be."
"Garcia…" JJ began as the other woman lifted her hand to stop her.
"You almost lost her once, but she came back. I love Emily, I really do but we both know she didn't come back for me, or Derek, or even the BAU. She came back for you. I don't know what happened between you two but I know she came back for you. So if there is any part of you that wants her you have to go for it, because what if you lose her for real the next time?"
JJ inhaled sharply and briefly closed her eyes before responding to the advice, "Pen it's not that simple. There are other people involved, I have commitments. I have responsibilities at home. I have a son I have to think about. I can't just give into my impulses and do whatever feels good. I have to think about my family and I don't understand how you don't get that. My life affects Henry…"
"Henry loves Emily!" Garcia argued as JJ shook her head in disbelief.
"He loves his father more."
"But it's not fair to you, or Emily, or even Will. I really like Will and, well, don't you think that he deserves someone who loves him?"
"I do love him" JJ firmly stated. "He's the father of my child and I love him."
"See you always do that" Garcia started, getting irritated with the other woman. "You always say 'I love Will, he's Henry's father' but you don't say 'I love Will he's my boyfriend.'"
JJ rolled her eyes at the remark as the conversation was interrupted by Hotch. "We have a case in Boise, Idaho, briefing room now" he instructed in his professional monotone as he turned around and left the two women.
"Tell me one thing Jayje" Garcia ordered in a kind voice with a small sigh. "What do you want? What do you really want? Right here right now tell me what you want. Don't make it about Henry or Will or Emily but what do you want?"
JJ bit her bottom lip, tapping her fingers on her desk in thought as she thought about the question. What did she want? It was a simple question, one that she could easily answer, but it was somehow not as easy as it seemed. With Will things were always simple, but when it came to Emily? Nothing was ever as simple as it seemed when it came to Emily Prentiss. But then again, JJ had to admit that she was partly to blame for that complexity. A few moments passed before JJ finally spoke up, "What I want is to not hurt anyone."
"Well I'm sorry sweet pea, but given your situation, that's not possible" Garcia stated in a matter of fact tone as she left the office and headed towards the briefing room.
"Have you heard from her yet? She's honestly the worst. I mean, come on Emily this is your job, lives are at stake. Literally lives are at stake, I'm not even been overly dramatic at this point" JJ complained as she paced the sidewalk outside of the Milwaukee police precinct.
Emily hadn't shown up to work and wasn't answering her calls, but what else was new? Things had been rather frigid between the two woman after they slept together, or could you call it that? How would someone define what had happened that night? Regardless, JJ had been having a difficult time processing her feelings towards the other woman. First, there was the issue that she was starting to fall in love with Emily, who was a woman, which made everything inherently more confusing and terrifying. Then there was the issue of how she had sex with her best friend and then awkwardly left. The blonde had found her current situation to be less than ideal and foolishly decided that maybe dating a man was a good way to clear her head and sort out these 'odd' feelings once and for all. Enter detective Will LaMontagne Jr. He was a nice guy, handsome enough, charming-ish and maybe just what JJ needed to remind herself that she wasn't in love with some woman. However, forgetting about Emily was easier said then done and, as a result, JJ found herself reading into everything Emily said.
You don't choose who you fall in love with.
Did Emily know about Will? Was that meant for her or was it just wishful thinking on her part? Why would she want Emily to love her? She wanted Will to love her, not Emily. Emily was just her friend. They were just friends, nothing more. Friends that had sex once. Really just half of sex…
"JJ" Garcia repeated in a firm voice. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Sorry" JJ offered as she ran her free hand through her hair, "What?"
"I said she's still not answering. Is Strauss still, you know, Straussing you?"
JJ laughed at the question, "Yeah, it's fine."
"Oh my sweet little buttercup you sound so stressed. Tell the Oracle what's wrong."
JJ smiled at the tender tone and took a deep breath, "I'm worried about Emily, she won't talk to me and I keep having this weird dream and I don't know what it means…"
"Dream?"
"Yeah" JJ admitted with a sigh as she sat down on a free bench outside the police precinct, hoping that no homeless person had vomited on it recently. "It's really weird, I've been having it for a while. I don't have it every night but everyone once in a while it comes back."
"What happens in it?" Garcia asked as she leaned forward in her office chair, completely entranced by dreams and trying to discover their meanings.
"When it first starts off I'm in this meadow, I swear it's straight out of the Sound of Music, it is so perfect. So I'm walking through the field and I see this single black rose and I smell it, but I don't pick it. And then I guess I leave because the dream jumps to where I'm running and I don't know how long I've been running for but I'm out of breath and exhausted. But, for some reason, I don't care about how exhausted I feel, all I'm thinking about is the rose. I don't even know why I care so much, but I'm obsessed with this black rose and I feel like I have to pick it. I'm trying to get to the meadow but I can't remember where it is…"
"Oh no!" Garcia gasped, prompting JJ to smile at the dramatics of her friend.
"And when I finally find the right place and I go to pick the black rose it's gone. The black rose isn't there anymore and I want to cry and I think I do. And then I wake up" JJ finished as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "When I wake up I'm all sweaty and out of breath but it's not really a nightmare. I don't know…"
"That's so strangle, but also oddly poetic."
"Yeah" JJ agreed with a nod. "I don't think it means anything though…"
"Well whilst we are on the subject of dreams I've been having a super weird one" Garcia began as JJ couldn't help but smile. "So in my dreams I'm really good friends with Beyoncé and she is crazy into pizza. Like I think she has a problem…"
"In your dream Beyoncé has to go to pizza rehab" JJ interrupted with a laugh as Garcia scowled on the other end of the phone.
"Don't be rude. Did I interrupt your royal oafness during your retelling?"
"Yeah."
"Well don't interrupt me" Garcia scolded, which made her blonde friend erupt into a fit of laughter. "So I'm just minding my own business, being friends with Beyoncé and I keep getting her pizza orders messed up so she makes me get her order tattooed on my tummy…"
"Tummy? Pen you're a grown woman."
Garcia waved off the claim with her free hand as she continued on in her story, "Anyway it was so rude and I was all, 'I don't care if you're Beyoncé we are so done.' I will not put up with abuse Jayje. I won't do it. I am a human being. When I am cut do I not bleed? When I am tattooed do I not cry?"
JJ tilted her head in confusion at the line of questioning, "Umm…"
"Howevs, and this is the saddest part, I still had the tattoo to remind me of all the pain. And then I woke up and really wanted pizza."
"And?"
"And I ordered some and the dumb pizza place messed it up so I think the dream was basically a premonition."
"Sure" JJ sarcastically remarked with a yawn. "Well thanks for that."
"Are you tired my little kumquat?"
"Yeah" JJ answered as she rubbed her tired eyes. "I haven't been sleeping well because of the dream and then there's that and the whole Emily issue."
"So it's an issue now?"
JJ sighed as she crossed her free arm over her chest, "I guess so."
"See I don't get what is going on with you two. You both are like besties, which I resent, and then you barely speak to one another. I'm telling you I don't understand this entire situation. It's like you had a bad bang and hang."
"Bang and hang?"
"You know" Garcia hinted with a grin, "Like if you Elmered her fudd and then left."
"Okay that does not clear anything up for me" JJ laughed while shaking her head in disbelief. What the fuck was 'Elmered her fudd' supposed to mean?
"Oh my God, it's like you two hooked up and you left…"
"She told you?!" JJ yelled, cutting the other woman off.
"OH MY GOD YOU WENT SPELUNKING IN EMILY PRENTISS' BAT CAVE! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! THIS IS A-MAZING!"
JJ cringed at the slip up, "So she didn't tell you then?"
"No!" Garcia gasped before a grin crept across her face.
"Oh" JJ merely stated as her body tensed, awaiting the awkward conversation that was bound to follow. Who knew that Garcia's 'talk dirty to me' Strauss slip up would not be the worst phone call fuck up of the day.
"Okay so what the what happened with you and Emster? And do not say 'nothing' because you already admitted you explored Emily's…"
"Can you please stop with the imagery" JJ interjected in a pleading voice. "That didn't exactly happen."
"And what did exactly happen?"
"I just wanted to talk."
Garcia rolled her eyes at the claim, "Sure."
"But then I was there, and there was a couch and, umm, events transpired, but I left before I technically did anything with her…"
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, did she Chronicle your Narnia?"
"Chronicle my Narnia? What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know, explore your mystical and magical place" Garcia hinted as JJ groaned on the other end of the phone. "I'm going to take that as a yes…did you return the favor?" The quirky woman asked as she took the silence on the other end of the line as confirmation that she didn't. "Oh my God, please do not tell me you reached fulfillment. JJ? JJ please tell me right now that you did not orgasm and dash. JJ!" Garcia scolded. "JJ that is the cardinal sin of sex. I can't believe you, God no wonder Emily hates you now."
"I know it was bad" the media liaison admitted with a sulk. "It was so bad."
"Emily was bad?"
"No she was…" JJ drifted off at the memory before hearing Garcia clear her throat on the other end of the line. "It was bad because I didn't know what to do…"
"There are manuals online, how about doing some research for once in your life."
"I panicked, I slept with my best friend" JJ defended as she scanned to make sure that Strauss wasn't lurking around the corner, waiting to fire her.
"Hey!" Garcia complained in an offended tone. "And what am I?"
"Pen is now really the time for this? I really messed up. I was caught up in the moment and it wasn't smart. It was so dumb. I'm not even gay. I don't sleep with women, my female co-workers no less. I just want things to go back to the way they were."
Garcia sighed at the request, "Well honey I guess pray that someone whacks Emily upside the head with something to give her amnesia because I don't know how you can ever go back after that" Garcia concluded as she hung up the phone on her friend. She however did contact JJ again later that day, via text, not with advice but a request.
I don't know what God you prayed to, but do it again and ask for all of my baby boy's shirts to be destroyed in a fire. Goddess out.
The message made the media liaison laugh as she pocketed her phone and walked over to talk to Emily, who was getting treatment from the paramedic.
"You scared me" JJ simply stated as she waited for everyone else to disperse from the area.
"I know" Emily nodded as she gazed down at the ground, avoiding the blonde's eyes.
"We can't keep doing this. I can't keep avoiding you like this. It's killing me Em."
Emily took a deep breath as she picked at her nails, "Me too."
"Can we move on from that? I mean I know I hurt you but I promise I didn't mean to. I didn't know what I was doing and I knew if we, I knew everything would get screwed up. And by trying to avoid screwing it up I still did."
"Yeah you're kind of a disaster huh?" Emily teased attempting to conceal her inner turmoil over the issue.
She liked JJ a lot, maybe she could even love the blonde someday, but JJ would never feel the same way about her. JJ would never love her like that, and if she did she would never be able to admit it because of her identity crisis. JJ just couldn't seem to accept that she probably liked women, and despite how flattering it would be, Emily was fairly certain that she wasn't the only woman JJ had feelings or inclinations towards. But while Emily would just walk away from anyone else, she felt compelled to be close to JJ and didn't know why. Maybe she didn't want to know why because knowing would make everything too real. It would make everything too painful when JJ would inevitably settle for the wrong person.
"I told you, we can still be friends or something" the raven haired woman reiterated as she picked at her fingernails. "We can get past this."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah" Emily assured JJ in a tender voice as she squeezed the blonde's clammy hand. JJ merely nodded as a scary realization set in.
She didn't want to be friends with Emily. That wasn't what she wanted at all, because being friends with Emily Prentiss was never going to be enough.
"So friends?" Emily asked with a smile.
"Or something" JJ cryptically said with a grin as Emily smirked in return.
Any predictions of the significance of the dream?