I do not own Naruto.

Here's another update for my favorite story so far, but this chapter's really short. But next chapter's gonna twist your brain.

I'm trying to improve, I have no idea if I am or not. Yeah, so far it's going pretty smooth. So far, there's more humor than there is romance. I have no idea how I'm going a smooth transition from "being annoyed with Deidara" to "really liking him". So far she's admitted that she thought he was good-looking… so I guess it's all good.

I began writing this on Sunday, July 20, 2008. Please review if you enjoy this chapter!

--Chapter 7: In which Kaori is an oddity--

I was beginning to lose track of time. I might've already spent a month with Deidara and I wouldn't know. My best estimate would've been at least a week and four days. Eleven days, two hundred sixty-four hours. All we did was talk with each other all day, eating three meals a day. We eventually ran out of ramen and then had to eat oatmeal. The ANBU also revealed a secret plug in the wall and brought a table, a microwave, and oatmeal, easy Mac, and ramen. I moved the mini kettle to the table as well.

It had been boring, even though I had Deidara to keep me entertained. I occasionally paced around the room in fear that I'd forget how to walk, ignoring Deidara's comments about how paranoid I was. The furnace was fixed and the room was cool once again, much to Deidara's relief. All in all, nothing really exciting had happened, not that I expected anything interesting to happen.

I was sort of glad that the days were going by quickly and smoothly. Aside from the fact that Deidara was utterly annoying and was always nit-picking me, I supposed that we got along quite well. We talked to each other most of the day, even though most of our conversations were arguments. Whenever Deidara claimed he won an argument, which was all the time, he always declared the amount of points that he had in total. I didn't really mind. He could get a million points for all I cared.

I started to think about the first time I ever really spoke to Deidara. It was a couple of weeks before he decided to blow up half the village. I was walking carelessly, I vaguely remember, and I was passing him while he was sitting under a tree. He was painting a miniature sculpture. I don't remember what the sculpture was supposed to be, but I do remember saying, "cool sculpture," and him just mumbling a "thanks".

We didn't really talk. It was more like me giving a stranger a compliment. In fact, that's exactly what it was. I doubted that he even remembered me saying that. So, I decided that I wouldn't ask him if he knew it was me. It's not like it mattered anyway.

I sighed, sipping at my coffee that I had asked an ANBU to drop off. It was a little bit too sweet for my taste, but I could care less. I've been deprived of my favorite drink for far too long. I took large gulps, ignoring the questioning looks that Deidara gave me.

"Caffeine isn't good for you," Deidara told me.

I looked up from my coffee, rolling my eyes at his obvious statement, "Drinking caffeine isn't nearly as bad as killing a million people a week."

Deidara blinked, "… I don't kill a million people a week, yeah. Hell, I haven't even killed one hundred people, yeah…"

"Liar. You bomb places that could have one hundred people, and I haven't killed one. And then you scold me for drinking coffee," I snorted.

"Do you want a point for that?" muttered Deidara, rolling his eyes.

I grinned, "Yes, in fact, I would."

Deidara rolled his eyes again, "Fine. Thirteen points for me, one point for you. So far, I'm winning, yeah."

"Of course you're winning. Even if I did win more arguments than you, you wouldn't give me the points out of immaturity and the desire to win your own ridiculous, childish games," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Do you think I'm that childish, yeah?" asked Deidara, frowning, "How can you think I'm childish? I'm twenty."

I scoffed, "Yes, I'm aware, but sometimes, if not all the time, your maturity is comparable to that of a three year old. And that's bad coming from me, because I'm younger than you."

"By a year," muttered Deidara.

"Yes, but still, you're older than me and you're setting a terrible example for those who are younger than you."

"Well you should learn to respect your elders, yeah," Deidara retorted, smirking.

I glared at him as viciously as I could, sneering, "I hate you."

"Point fourteen for Deidara," he said, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair, a smug look plastered to his face.

I couldn't wait until the month was over, then I'd be able to get the hell out of here. I only had two weeks left, and that was really good. This'd be all worth it, because once I tell my parents who I was guarding, then they'd be off my back about missions for a long time, hopefully forever. Then maybe I could quit this ridiculous ninja charade and learn to be a dentist.

Speaking of dentists, I haven't been brushing my teeth at all. That's disgusting. And I've been eating the same cheap food. I wondered vaguely if the ANBU would bring down a toothbrush and toothpaste for me if I asked them to. I glanced at all the stuff that they brought down for me, and then decided that they would. It was almost like staying at a hotel, only I was with a criminal that would probably kill me. And I didn't get a bed.

"So, Kaori, have you ever been on a date?" asked Deidara randomly.

My eyes widened, and I blushed madly, "What the hell type of question is that?"

"I don't know, yeah… I'm bored; humor me," said Deidara, teetering back on his chair and closing his eyes.

I glared, blushing furiously. How was I supposed to answer such an embarrassing, personal question? "… Uh, no… I haven't."

"… You are so deprived, yeah," muttered Deidara, rolling his one visible eye.

I frowned, "I'm not deprived; I just choose not to go out on dates because I'm not interested in stuff like that!"

Deidara smirked, "Okay, Kaori, remember when you were raving about the 'life puzzle' stuff? And how you said that you missing pieces? Well, going on a date is probably one of the ones that are missing, yeah…"

"I thought you said that love was a lie wrapped in ribbons to look more appealing," I shot back, narrowing my eyes.

"I didn't say anything about love, yeah. I was talking about dates," Deidara answered.

I glared, "Are all men pigs? Seriously, the whole point of a date is to go out with someone that you like. I don't like anyone, thus giving me no reason to go out on a date. Ever."

"Like is the first stage that leads to love, yeah. Who gives about it? No one cares about all the emotions involved, they just want the date."

"What makes dates so special if you don't even care about the person that you're going out with? That's just messed up and… just plain wrong," I muttered, still glaring. Deidara simply rolled his eyes (well, I only saw his visible eye) again.

"Dates are fun, yeah," Deidara answered, smirking at me.

I scoffed, "They aren't fun with no point behind it. I'd hate to think about all the poor girls that have ever gone out with you."

"I don't, yeah… If you're going to go out on a date you might as well pick the best-looking person you know."

"My God you're such a pig," I muttered, "I'm not even going to bother asking how many dates you've been on."

Deidara grinned, "Well, you haven't been a date so obviously you've never had a boyfriend, right?"

I glared, "What happened to 'marriage is like signing contracts to forever live as a slave'? Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is two stages below that. It goes boyfriend, fiancé, then marriage! You're just contradicting against what you said -again!"

"Marriage and love are totally different from girlfriends or boyfriends and crushes, yeah. Marriage and love are serious. But all the other stuff is just fun, yeah," said Deidara with a shrug, "Don't be such a grump."

"So how many girlfriends have you had, Deidara?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. I didn't know why I asked. Maybe I was just interested in what he was going to say.

Deidara thought about it for a moment, "… At least twenty-five, yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Just to say this; you're such a damned pig."

Deidara glared at me, and I smiled, sipping my coffee with satisfaction.

"Point two for Kaori," I said.

"I can't believe you're suddenly interested in earning points, yeah," muttered Deidara, fixing his half ponytail again.

I shrugged, "I don't care about the points -It'd be so much fun to see you lose a game that you have created."

"That's sadistic, yeah," he muttered.

I scoffed, "At least I don't find joy and 'beauty' in killing poor, innocent people with clay bombs. That is just the psychopathic sort of sadistic. Tell me; are you a masochist as well? Because you did say you were going to go out with a bang… and no matter how disgusting it sounds, it does mean that you want to blow yourself up, right?"

"If I'm going to die, I'm going to die in an artistic way," Deidara stated, pulling his bangs back and taking off his scope to clean it, revealing his other eye. My God he's cute. I inwardly kicked myself for thinking that.

"Oh…" I trailed off, staring at him, "That's cu- I mean, nice."

Deidara gave me an odd look, "What were you about to say, yeah?"

I glared, "Nothing."

"Aw really Kaori! What were you going to say, yeah?"

"I was going to say 'that's curable' but it isn't so… yeah," I muttered. I was actually going to say 'that's cute' but I wasn't going to tell him that. So now I sounded like an idiot. A demented, lost idiot. And that was fine. Anything's worth avoiding pure embarrassment.

"Hm…" Deidara mumbled, closing his eyes and running his hand through his bangs.

I felt self-conscious, even though Deidara had his eyes closed. I was with him for almost two damn weeks, for the love of God. I should be able to handle this. But for some reason, I felt a little queasy. This mission, I knew, was going to be a real pain but I didn't think that it was actually going to be painful. It's not that I liked him or anything. I hated him. But still, after basically living with him for eleven days and knowing that he's going to die at the end of the month is a little sad. But I didn't like him. No, it wasn't like that at all.

Who was I kidding? Yes, I liked him, but I still hated him. I hated him because I liked him. This was supposed to be a strict, business-like mission. I wasn't actually supposed to become something resembling friends with the person that I was guarding. But who could blame me? Deidara was really good-looking, and he was nice. He didn't escape even though I let him take off his handcuffs and blindfold, and he always kept me entertained. But I hated him.

I narrowed my eyes, remembering why I never went on dates. It was for this reason. I needed to do my job, not worry about Deidara. But still, he was one of my few friends that I've had in my miserable (at least from my perspective) life. And now he was going to die just because he's a criminal. Wait, what the hell was I saying? He blew up half the damn village and killed so many damn people. One of them was even from my Academy class! And yet that didn't affect me at all.

I must be such a sad little girl to be so desperate as to end up having a ridiculous crush on a criminal hailing from the Akatsuki. Was I really that pathetic? Yes, of course I was. There wasn't one other girl that I knew, no matter how boy crazy, that would dare crush on Deidara. I must've truly been insane.

Well, at least it was just a crush. Had it been anything more, I would've been completely and utterly screwed. No, make that fucked. I'd be completely and utterly fucked. So, I decided that I would eventually get over my little crush by the end of the month no matter what. That was the beauty of crushes; once you decide that you've had enough of it, it just goes away. No pain, no problems.

I was truly terrified of getting boyfriends because of all the crap that they put in magazines about girls getting "heartbroken" and then committing suicide in the most dramatic, unnecessary ways. It was sickening and utterly terrifying. Those women, I was positive, were quite sane. And I, quite frankly, was on the borderline of insanity. So, if one nasty breakup could get a girl to commit suicide, what the hell would it do to me? Make me a masochist?

I closed my eyes, trying to maintain my composure. I wasn't going to cave in now. It was almost over anyway, and I was desperate to just get the mission over with. They should've at least not have assigned me to stay here twenty-four seven. Didn't they know a thing about emotions? Oh right, ninjas didn't have emotions. So this wasn't their fault, it was mine for not being properly prepared.

"Oh God…" I muttered, covering my face. So this means if I have a cow when Deidara gets executed it'd be my fault? "Oh God, oh my God…"

"Please don't tell me it's your time of the month, yeah," muttered Deidara, rolling his eyes, "That's the last thing I need."

I glared at him through the gaps in between my fingers, "You know what? Shut up. And no. If it's really so interesting for you, that was last week."

Deidara scrunched up his face, "Ugh. I really didn't need to know that."

"Then you shouldn't have brought it up," I muttered, rubbing my forehead. Maybe I should ignore him, so that I can at least cut off this little charade right away. Before the end of the month, if possible.

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Whatever, yeah…"

"Do you want to make me pop a vein vessel?" I demanded, swallowing two pills.

He smirked, "Nah. It's amusing to see you come close though, yeah."

"Sadist," I muttered.

"Hippie," Deidara countered.

I glared, "Why do you always have to argue with me? Can't you just leave me alone?"

Deidara scoffed, "If you were so annoyed about the fact that I was arguing with you constantly then you wouldn't even bother to reply, Kaori, yeah."

I sniffed, "Fine. Then I won't talk to you."

"Sure."

I closed my eyes. I wished that I could fast-forward time. Something told me that I really wouldn't be able to handle Deidara's death. Something told me that Deidara's death would totally screw me up. So, I told Something to shut the hell up. I was not going to be affected by Deidara's death. I was not going to interfere with these confidential matters. I was not going to say anything to Deidara about this. I was not crushing on Deidara. I was not going to talk to him anymore.

I was a liar –that was for sure. As soon as Deidara talked to me, I started talking to him again.

"What is up with you, yeah?" muttered Deidara, rolling his eyes.

I glared at him, "Something that doesn't concern you in any way. Do continue your fiddling."

Deidara smirked, "Aw, you can tell me your secrets, yeah. It's not like an s-ranked criminal such as myself would spill all of your secrets." Deidara grinned as I narrowed my eyes even further.

"There's the fourth reason I hate you. You're so rude. It's like you can't have a civilized conversation at all. You always just have to add in one of your snide, cheeky comments. Even if it has nothing to do with the main subject, you'll add it in anyway, because you're that rude."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "I still don't think that you can come up with ten, yeah. What is there to hate about a person as wonderful as me?"

I glared, "Oh, and you just added reason number five. You think that you're all that when you're not. You're so obsessed with your art and you're just so confident. It's just so… annoying!"

"God, learn to relax," muttered Deidara.

"Learn to shut up," I countered, rubbing my temples in annoyance.

Deidara muttered, "Feh."

I didn't reply afterward, but instead decided to sort myself out. I hated Deidara, but for some reason I really didn't want him to die. Maybe it was just me and my insanity. I was really an oddity. Why couldn't I have just been a normal girl that knows when and when not to like a guy? Why couldn't I just be normal?

I should've just quit being a ninja, and then I never would've met Deidara. I would be continuing my miserable life and following my daily planner and measuring my activities out in units like I'm supposed to. I just simply wasn't cut out for this sort of work.

I wondered briefly if Deidara thought I was crazy. I sighed, frowning slightly, "Deidara, do you think I'm crazy?"

Deidara smirked, "Am I supposed to answer that honestly, yeah?"

I frowned, looking down slightly. I hated my life, "I don't care. Just answer."

"Yeah," Deidara said, grinning widely.

"You know what I don't get about men? They can just be total jerks and then not give crap about it at all," I mumbled, looking at the ground.

Deidara shrugged, "It's just because women are too sensitive, yeah. You could say one little thing and they'd be crying their eyes out. It's stupid, yeah."

"So is that why men are always picking on girls? Because we're sensitive? Men are such bastards. I'm probably never going to meet a guy that doesn't make fun of girls for being sensitive."

Deidara scoffed, "That's easy. All you have to do is walk into a gay bar, yeah."

My eyes widened, "… You walked into a gay bar before?"

"Well, I didn't know until guy tried to grope me, yeah. After that I think I blew the place up, but I'm sure there are more gay bars around."

"Oh my God, wait a minute. You're saying that gay men are the only guys that you think wouldn't make fun of girls for being sensitive?"

Deidara smirked, "Yeah."

"… You know what? You're an ass. If I were a mantis, I'd be eating you right now."

"I read about that, too. But, a female mantis only eats the male while they're mating, yeah. So you're saying that we'd be mating?" Deidara leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and smirking suggestively.

I blushed, not knowing what to say.

Deidara rolled his eyes, "That's point fifteen for me, yeah."

"I think that you're evil," I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the clock.

"Because I am evil, yeah," replied Deidara.

"I noticed," I muttered.

I suddenly realized that I was itchy. Maybe it was because I haven't showered in forever? I glared at the floor. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Deidara was here, un-handcuffed. What if he escaped while I was in the shower? Maybe if I showered quick… wait, no. But I wanted to take a shower so badly…

I decided to ask, "Deidara, would you try to escape if I took a shower?"

Deidara quirked an eyebrow, "How would I escape, yeah? I have no key and no weapons."

I sighed, "You're right… okay. I'm just going to get the ANBU to bring down a towel or something."

I walked over to the phone, calling up the ANBU to bring down a towel. He sounded unsure when he agreed, but came down anyway with a towel. I thanked him awkwardly and closed the door behind him, locking it. I walked toward the bathroom, stopping suddenly.

"There's no lock on the door, so you better not come in," I warned.

Deidara muttered something inaudibly and I walked inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I took off my clothes and quickly hopped into the shower, not really caring that it wasn't warm. Deidara wouldn't escape, right? He wouldn't do that. He had been nice the entire time, so I didn't think he would.

After I had put my clothes back on and hid the key in my shirt again securely, there was a knock at the door. I froze. I slowly opened the door, and I was surprised to see Deidara there, looking down at the floor.

"Deidara, what are you"-

I was cut off when he walked up to me, and kissed me full on the lips.

-- Author's Notes --

Oh, and trust me,it's not what you think. It may seem very random and a little fast… but… argh! Wait for the next chapter before you quit reading my story. That's all I can say without spoiling it.

Not really proud about this chapter. I wasn't sure how I was going to make this any longer. But next chapter's going to be a little bit more romance. And it's a little dramatic, but the way I wrote it is more… angry? I'm not really sure, so you're going to be the judge once I post it. I'm very excited about the next chapter, because I started writing it and I just wanted to get this one over with. The next one's coming soon!

Please review! Even though this chapter sucked, please review! You all rock my socks.