He'd spent the last four hours doing anything he could to keep his mind occupied. Worked on the boat, changed the oil in the truck, worked on the boat again, and made and drank more coffee than he had ever consumed in four hours. The only think his actions had gotten him were a splitting headache and an upset stomach.
Dropping down on the couch, he leaned his head back and took a few slow controlled breathes. The doctor was right, trying to block this wasn't going to work. The headache and unset stomach was due, at least in part, to his fighting the implant. Already the bricks were crumbling around him. The first wall crashing down was the one around the memory of that night almost ten years ago. It was a memory he'd entombed so deep in his subconscious he truly believed it would never see the light of day again. And it would have stayed buried forever if Tony hadn't made that confession earlier. I was thinking about you.
Those were words Gibbs never expected to hear. Tony was thinking about him when he had jacked off. Why would Tony admit that and admit it wasn't the first time. Had it been going on all these years since that night? He put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward putting his head in his hands. Tony had never given him any indication of that night being more than a moment of...need, comfort, whatever it had been. It just happened, as if it was beyond their control to stop it. Three or four days after Wendy called off the wedding, that's when it happened. Tony was already at NCIS and it had hit him hard. He showed up in the basement, needing to talk, just get away from his apartment and any reminders.
There was absolutely nothing unusual about the way the night started. Tony appeared in the basement with a six pack, opened one, handed it to him, then sat down on the bottom step and opened one for himself. They stayed there in silence for what seemed like hours before Tony finally spoke. He worked on the boat as Tony started to pour out his heart. The words spewing forth with deep pain, sorrow, and complete honesty.
He said little, nodding or grunting when the moment called for it. When Tony finally went silent for more than a few minutes, Gibbs knew everything that needed to be said had been. He put down the tool in his hand, grabbed the bottle of Bourbon from his work bench, and stopped in front of Tony. The younger man looked up at him, eyes red and swollen and gave a half smile. He patted Tony's knee and nodded up the steps. Upstairs, he grabbed the left over pizza from the fridge and two cups. As they ate the conversation bounced back and forth from topic to topic. Just a normal conversation between two men that had not only worked together over the last month but had started to become friends. He had brought Tony to NCIS because he saw the potential of the man, saw the hunger for a place where he could settle and finally feel safe and secure. Plus he just liked Tony. He could see through the mask of superficial humor to the man that was underneath, a good man, a man with a heart as big as his smile.
Still, he couldn't remember when the mood changed, when the situation suddenly spiraled out control, or when he forgot about rule twelve. Hell, he still didn't remember who made the first move. All he remember was the feel of Tony's body draped over his on the couch, the taste of Tony's lips and the overwhelming need to touch every piece of the younger man's body. Before he could even comprehend the ramification of their actions, they were both naked, lost in the undeniable need for each other. It was feral, raw and all consuming in its intensity. Nothing could have stopped it and neither wanted to.
They weren't drunk, alcohol wasn't to blame. They both knew they would have to take responsibility for their actions, but at that moment it didn't matter. It all happened so naturally, no hesitation, no awkwardness, just pure unadulterated bliss. The awkwardness started in the morning.
He woke up, Tony wrapped in his arms, his hard cock pressing against Tony's ass. Slowly untangling their bodies, he left the couch for the kitchen. He made coffee, showered, dressed and disappeared into the basement. Hours later, he heard Tony stir, figured the younger man would grab some coffee and appear at the top of the steps. That never happened. Instead he heard the front door open and close.
That was that, Tony walked away. They never talked about it, never remotely let it slip into private conversation. It truly was as if it had never happened. Their relationship was strained for a few weeks, then went right back to the way it was before. Time went on, months turned into years, their relationship changed, grew, that one night seemingly eradicated completely from both their minds. Well at least that's what he thought anyway...until earlier today.
Now he was sitting here thinking about nothing but that night, unable to get it out of his mind. The truth was, Tony was right, he had huge regrets about that night.
Opening the door, she was surprised to find the living room empty. God please don't tell me! She groaned to herself when she saw the bedroom door closed. Seriously, she knew Tony was hot after Matty, but banging her while she was suppose to be watching over him! Plus he was still healing! Abby threw open the bedroom door, surprised to see Tony tossing and turning in his sleep, sweat covering his brow.
"Tony!" She was immediately sitting on the edge of the bed touching his shoulder, avoiding the bruises and trying to wake him up. "Tony wake up."
Tony's eyes shot open and fixed on Abby. "Abby." He sighed.
"Having a nightmare?" She touched his forehead.
"Something like that."
"You're not that warm but you're sweating." She bit at her lower lip with concern. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just need a minute." He felt the nausea hit him again and wished he hadn't eaten that left over Chinese for lunch.
She scurried to the bathroom and returned with a towel. "Maybe I should take you to the hospital." She said wiping his forehead.
He smiled patting her hand and taking the towel. "I'm fine. Bad dreams and left over Chinese, not a good combination."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive." It would have sounded more convincing if he hadn't slammed his eyes shut in pain as his head started to throb.
"Oh God what is it?" She was grabbing the phone from the night stand.
"Abby!" He snipped, opening his eyes. "It's just a headache."
"But you have a concussion maybe it's more than a headache!"
"Just hand me a couple aspirin."
"Right." She grabbed the bottle on the bedside table and poured two into her hand giving them to him.
"Thanks." Tossing them in his mouth, he grabbed the juice on the night stand and swallowed them down. He smiled at her. "I'll be fine in fifteen, twenty minutes."
The worry on her face said she didn't believe him. "Where's Matty?"
"Gibbs sent her home." He said settling back into the bed.
"Gibbs was here? Why isn't he still here?" Her voice now moving from worry to hopefulness.
"I asked him to leave." His green eyes met hers. "I told him I'd behave till you got here."
"He shouldn't have left you, even if you asked." What the hell was going on with Gibbs?
"What time is it?" He asked trying to change the subject.
"Little after six." She wasn't that easily satisfied. "Did you two talk?"
He blew out a long breathe. "Yeah."
She knew exactly what that meant. We talked and it didn't go well. "You'll work it out, you always do."
Forcing a nod to pacify her, he wasn't so sure.
"Gibbs will stop being an jackass or I'll kill him."
He smiled a real smile this time, thinking of all the times she had reminded everyone she could kill someone without leaving any forensic evidence. "I don't think it will come to that, but thanks." Another wave of nausea hit him and he fought the urge to clutch at his stomach. This wasn't from Chinese food. "Fuck."
"Tony, you're freaking me out! I think I should take you to the hospital." She had the phone in her hand now.
"No." He didn't wanna do this, didn't want him here, but he knew it was the only way to fix this. "Call Gibbs."
Gibbs was sprawled out on the couch, one hand on his stomach, the other across his forehead when the phone rang. Slowly picking up his thumping head, he grabbed the phone from the coffee table and looked at the caller id. Abby, great just what he needed. She was probably calling to bitch him out for leaving Tony. Flipping the phone open, he answered.
"Not in the mood to be bit-"
"Something is wrong with Tony, you need to get here now!" She practically screamed into the phone.
Without another thought he was on his feet, grabbing his coat and heading out the door.
"Take him to the hospital, I'll meet you there." Gibbs said as he climbed into the car.
"He won't go, he said to call you, that you'd understand."
He sighed knowing exactly what it was. "Nausea, headache?"
"Yeah."
"I'm on the way." With that he closed the phone and slammed the car into reverse.