Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

A/N: This chapter wasn't originally going to be in the story. And I'm kind of nervous for adding this in, but here goes nothing!

Chapter 7

I couldn't get a hold of Davis. It was true. He wasn't here to help me like he has before. I used to be able to talk to him when Matt was gone. Now he's not here to help me when I might lose him again. I sighed as I hung up the phone. Why is this happening?

"You have to help me." Matt's voice played in my head since my last visit. He wouldn't tell me what the problem was. He just kept asking for help in a half pleading/half threatening voice.

I sighed again, trying to keep my cool. But it wasn't working. Nothing was. I couldn't even put it into words. I looked at the paper, but nothing came up. My Ticonderoga sat in my hand motionless. That's when I had a thought.

I had to go back.

Back before high school. Before babies. Before rehab. Before love. Before Yoko. Before high school. Before our first kiss. I had to go back four years. And I knew the only way to do it, the only person that can help. I grabbed my D-terminal and sent a message to Kari.

"Are you free for breakfast? I really need to get some alone time with you." I sent. Hopefully, I didn't sound too creepy. Waiting patiently, I waited for her reply. My heart was pounding. I didn't even know why. Usually I felt at ease with Kari. She brought me back. Maybe even further than four years. Maybe even eight. Back when I was eight and we went to the Digital World for the first time.

"Sure." She replied.

I smiled. "Great! I'll meet you at your place."

"T.K., what's the matter?" Patamon asked. But I couldn't make out the words to tell him. But I think I found the words to write it.

I'm tired. I've been stretched out in all directions. I've lost so many battles. I've carried so much weight. And I'm tired. I'm searching for a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm reaching and I'll keep going until I can breathe again.

"I'm tired, Patamon." I told him. "I've never been so tired in my life." I remembered Jun's painting of the woman carrying the world. I don't have her strength and I might be going down for it.

Patamon sat down on my lap. "Take a nap." He told me. I looked over at the clock.

"I might as well just get ready for tomorrow and go to bed early. I'm going to meet Kari in the morning."

"That's great!" He cheered.

"Yeah. Hopefully, she'll help me get through this." She always has.

()()

The next morning, I hesitated to knock on the door. Hopefully she didn't change too much in our brief period of absence. When I knocked on the door, I felt a little relieved. And when she opened the door, I was overwhelmed with joy! "Kari!"

"T.K.!" She cheered and wrapped her arms around me. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" I said. "It's been so stressful without you."

"Same here." She said, letting go.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah." She closed the front door. "Where are we going?"

"Oh, just that tea place." I said. "You know, the new one."

"Oh right." She smiled as we got going. It went pretty silently. I could've said what was going on. I could've told her about Matt and Davis and school and Yoko. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever told her. But at the moment, I didn't say anything. Just having her walk next to me made me feel secure. Just being with her made everything okay.

But then my phone rang. "Hello?" I answered.

"T.K.! Do you have the project we've been working on?" It was Yoko.

"Hi! Yes, I got it. Don't worry."

"Great! I can't afford another 'F'."

"I would never forget something that important!"

"Great. Now about the project…" She started saying more but I remembered that I'm supposed to be with Kari.

I shot her a smile. Then to Yoko, I said "Let's talk about this later. See you in class, babe." Oh, why did I say that?

"Babe?" She asked in sort of a mocking tone.

I blushed. "Oh…well…you know…" And all real language was lost.

"You have a girlfriend?" She completed for me.

I rubbed the back of my neck. I hope she's not mad. "Well, yeah. You remember when I went to Sarushima for the summer?"

"Yes, I think so. Is it...?"

"Yoko." I answered with a smile. Hopefully, that would lighten things up.

But she didn't say anything at first. She just nodded, probably picturing her in her head. "There's this guy I hang out with too. You remember Michio?"

Oh boy. That guy? I went wide eyed at the thought of that huge dangerous looking guy with little Kari. And he isn't that smart. "Michio? He's still in high school?"

"Of course he's still in high school." She said, slightly annoyed. "Why wouldn't he be?"

"It's just that…" I rubbed the back of my neck. "I took a class with him and...he's not the brightest crayon in the box if you know what I mean."

"Don't say that! He just needed a little help studying."

"Oh, that explains it." He said as we entered the shop.

"Did you think he would get kicked out by now?" She asked after our orders were taken.

"Well, it's just that he's older than us. Usually people are out of school by the time they're eighteen and close to being nineteen." I said.

"So what if he's off on a bad start? At least he can finish strong."

I smiled. "You're right. I think you're doing a good thing."

"Thanks." She said. "Michio and I kissed yesterday."

My eyes widened again. "Really?" I asked. "So who's the better kisser?" I remembered our first kiss all those years back and I had to ask.

She playfully hit my shoulder. "You know you're the better kisser!"

"Cool." I smiled to myself. "You're a good kisser too."

"Thanks."

And then the silence set in. I couldn't help thinking about that guy. Michio was so quiet. So alert, yet things just go in one ear and out the other. I don't know what goes on through his mind. And I'm pretty sure he has a short temper. I've seen him storm out of class for nearly no reason at all. It was something. "I just want you to be safe."

"Why wouldn't I be safe?" She asked.

Oh boy. "I meant happy."

"You said safe." She pressed. "What did you mean?"

I looked up at the ceiling and back at her. Why does she want to know what goes on through my mind? "It's just that Michio's a big guy. And he looks angry all of the time."

"But he's not. He's sweet."

That's what they all say before they get them. "Kari…" I held her hand. "You're a smart girl and I trust that you'll make the right decisions. If he does hurt you, I'll always be here."

She shook my hands free. "No you won't. You're always busy and you never have time for anything. Michio is nice and honest and caring. And I just wish that you'll understand how I feel about him."

I felt my heart pounded in my throat. This can't be happening. It can't be. "You're right." I said, trying to bring her back. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She grabbed her bag. Don't do it. She stood up. Don't… And then she left.

"No…" I said to myself in a faint whisper. "Come back…" What have I done? What did I do? Where have I been?

My limbs started to ache. I was getting pulled in all sorts of directions again. By Matt. By Yoko. By Kari. By my Ticonderoga. And suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I looked around the place and felt all the eyes on me, but no one was looking. I grabbed my bag and slipped out of the shop. I kept walking as if nothing was wrong. But it wasn't working. The weight on my shoulders was getting too great. I got tired. And I couldn't make it. I looked around, not knowing my surrounds, and saw an internet café. Perfect.

I easily walked inside and headed straight for the computer in the corner. Without hesitation (not even to look at who would see), I took out my digivice and went to DigiWorld.

There, I was free. I dropped onto the soft grass as a DemiVeemon, an Upamon, and a Poromon went by. I turned over and lied on my back while I watched them go by. They were happy and bouncy as they giggled on. It made me smile, thinking about those old times. It was just what I needed. I'm back.

I came by the lake we always came across. That was the spot I went fishing with Izzy. I sat down and looked around. Then, I took out my favorite notebook and flipped to a naked page. Then I took my Ticonderoga out and began to write. And write.

()()

"Well, well, well…" I opened my eyes. I must've been asleep. Eventually, my eyes adjusted so I could make out Tai standing there with a smile on his face. "Long time no see." He said.

"Tai…" I sat up and looked around. My arm was wet from the lake and my notebook and pencil were nowhere to be found.

"Looking for these?" Tai asked, holding up my half wet notebook and pencil. "Ticonderoga, huh? The best pencil in the world!" He handed them back to me and sat down. "If I came any later, you probably would've drifted off to sea! So what are you doing here?"

I blinked. "I think the appropriate question is 'what are you doing here?' Don't you have class?"

"Don't you?" He raised an eyebrow.

I sighed. "Touché."

"Every now and again, I take a break." He said. "A little breathing room is good for your health."

That would explain why I've been so tired. "Well, I'm taking a break too. How did you get through this?"

Tai smiled, but he didn't say anything. Well, not at first. He kept looking out into the water. "I know it's hard. But you have to learn to manage your time." I didn't say anything. There was so much I could've said (don't you think I tried that?; how do I do it?; there's too much stuff and not enough time; etc.) but I said nothing. "And you have to find your light at the end of the tunnel. You're the bearer of hope. You should know that."

I swallowed. He was right. "I lost it."

He nodded. "It happens. At some point, I believe we'll lose ourselves in situations, but that's because we're not kids anymore." I sighed. "But that doesn't mean we can't gain it back."

I smiled. He was right. He's always right. Well, except when he's wrong! But will I be able to get my crest back? Can I somehow find myself again?

Tai flipped through the damp pages. "I was reading some." He said guiltily. "I hope it wasn't supposed to be private."

I shook my head. "It's okay. No one really had interest in reading them anyway."

"No one?" I shook my head again. "Well, I think they don't know what they're missing! I really like this."

"Really?" I asked as if I was a little kid getting candy. "You really think it's good?"

He nodded. "Very good!" He kept reading a little. "But…" I braced myself. My first piece of bad criticism. "…it doesn't have a happy ending."

I looked at it to see which story he was talking about. "I know."

"It's a short story about happiness without a happy ending." He blinked.

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah, that's kind of how it goes. Blame the characters!"

Tai smiled. "That's a very interesting author's choice." He said. "Have you ever considered doing this for a living?"

I nodded. "That's what I'm going to do!"

"Great! You're going to be the best!" He flipped through a few more. "This one's my favorite though, the one about the boy trying to win the girl's heart." He studied it for a minute. "Come to think of it, this guy, Kyle, reminds me a lot of Davis."

I smiled. "He was my inspiration."

He looked at a few more, flipping pages. "Is Yoko in any of your stories?"

I shook my head. "I never put her in a story because her life alone is one. Our relationship is a story that I can't really write about or alter in any way. But I've written a few shotty poems about her. I wish I was better at poetry, but I'm not."

"It's okay." He said. "But have you ever written about her dancing? From what I've been told, she's very good at it."

I nodded. "She is, but…" I sighed. Now, I felt bad. "I'm a bad boyfriend."

Tai smiled at this. I wonder if he wanted to laugh. "The thing about being in a relationship is that it's team work. You can't be a couple with just one or the other. You have to build her up and she'll build you."

"So become a team?" He nodded. "I'll do it!" One problem solved.

"And this one…?" Tai opened it to another page. "This one's about you, isn't it? It's you and Matt."

"Yes."

"He dies at the end."

"He does." I swallowed. "I was upset. At the time, I thought he went back to his old ways."

"But you have to have faith in him. He's doing the best he can, and we're doing all we can to prevent it."

I didn't have anything to say after that. How could I be so stupid?

"And this one? It's about you and Kari, right?"

I nodded.

"Back when you were kids?" I nodded again. "You go to Kari just to go back to moments like this."

"I do." I told him. "Kari's very special to me, and she helps me forget about all of the pressure."

"Now she has pressure and it's like your friendship is falling apart." I gulped. I let it happen. I know it. "But you can't rely on her to take you back to your childhood. Remember teamwork."

"Okay." I said, pondering it. "I've been selfish, haven't I?"

He shook his head. "You just need experience. Eventually, you'll know how to handle it." Tai gave a small chuckle. "I know it took me a while to get things. I tried going back. But I found myself going crazy trying to go back to simpler times. Back when I didn't know anything. You can't do college homework with an eleven-year-old mind! It's easier to attack head on and quit running."

I nodded. "I have to live for this moment now and worry about the next when it comes."

Tai simply stood up with the same wise smile. "Looks like my work here is done."

I blinked. "You mean, you knew?"

He winked. And without another word, he vanished. Was he ever here? Who cares? I have to see Yoko!

"Yoko! I'm coming!" I shoved my notebook in my backpack and slid my pencil behind my ear. "Yoko!" I set off running as fast as I could. I've learned so much in this one conversation. I did see the light. And I don't have to keep crawling. I can run. I yelled to the top of my lungs "I've found hope again!"

Trivia: As you may know, this wasn't originally in the story. But that's because I reread this before publishing and thought that there were A LOT of things left unsaid that got even me questioning what happened next! So tell me what you think!