Chapter 6: Alma and Shion
The snowstorm calmed and disappeared, leaving the sky beautifully blue and the temperature very low. Nevertheless, Shion and Nezumi profited from the good weather by exploring a bit the forests nearby and, using Alma's detailed notes about fishing, catching some fish from under the ice. It was nice to have fresh food and Shion didn't really want to think about the whole winter of smoked meat. Thankfully they had some vegetables as least, although it was unsure how long the potatoes and carrots would keep, so Nezumi insisted they don't spare them too much.
For a couple of days, Shion nearly forgot about the diary, Alma and Yuu and Lavi. Walking in the deep snow was tiring and he slept really well those days. It felt like they were the only people in the world and it was a surprisingly good feeling. It made it alright to do silly stuff and Shion lost count of the snow fights they had with the beautiful, pristine white snow. Ice skating with their shoes on the lake was also fun and Shion couldn't even begin to count the number of time he burst out laughing because he fell or Nezumi almost fell. He did notice though and he did count the amount of times Nezumi laughed and he cherished those moments. It wasn't often that Nezumi laughed like that, genuinely, but he seemed more relaxed those days.
Afterwards the weather turned bad again, but it came as a nice change and again Shion welcomed the possibility to spend some quiet time with Nezumi. The latter took to repeating his favourite pieces of plays and of that Shion would never get enough. He tried to learn, but Nezumi was a difficult teacher and more often than not Shion decided he should give up. Those times he would return to the diary and read out one or two entries, while Nezumi cooked.
Lavi came back earlier than I expected him to, wrote Alma one day. It was difficult to judge the passage of time, since there were no dates and even very few mentions of the passing days, but Shion deduced it must have been the very beginning of spring, maybe a month after Lavi had left. He too hadn't thought Lavi would have come back that fast.
He didn't come empty handed either. He brought seeds and samplings and told Yuu how and when to plant what and how to take care of the plants afterwards. This year we will have our own potatoes and carrots and also onions and tomatoes. In some years we might have fruits: apples and pears, because Lavi brought samplings but they apparently need time. We will also have some things I don't know yet and probably three times as many herbs and spices as we had last year. Lavi said it was the least he could do to thank us for saving his life. He was sure, he says, that when the Noah left him in the wilderness he was done for.
I think Yuu doesn't like to remember that Noah had been so close to our place. I definitely don't like the idea, which is why we are going to start to train. Not that we can do anything against a Noah without the Innocence, but it will make me feel better. It will also occupy us and I think Yuu is starting to go crazy here. It's calm and quiet and he claims to like it, but I know that it's the first time since he left the Sixth Lab that he's surrounded by quite so much calm and quiet.
Lavi didn't stay long this time, saying that he had a new mission. His first mission as a Bookman, he said and he sounded proud so I am happy for him. He did stay enough to teach me about recognizing different, possibly useful plants we could find in the forest once the spring came for good. Like that, he said, once the summer and autumn come, we can have berries and nuts and I'm looking forward to try them all. He also taught me about scale and so I can draw a schematic of our little place now and later mark where we find berries and nuts in the forest.
Indeed the entry was followed by a crude sketch that showed the house, the lake and the cliffs, but also the herb path exactly where it was and a garden that was probably swallowed up by the forest by now. It did seem in the scale too, if Shion only looked at the house and the herb path, because the lake and the mountains were obviously not complete. It also said there Alma had found blueberries and wild strawberries and hazelnuts written in smoother letters: Alma must have added it after finding out the information. Mysteriously, it said there were tulips in front of the house.
'It would have been useful to know that before,' muttered Nezumi, looking over Shion's shoulder at the map. 'It sure explains the potatoes and the carrots,' he added and then commented how they could try and find onions in the spring. Shion tried to not get his hopes up that it meant what he thought it to mean.
After Lavi left, Alma and Yuu started to spar, or rather: Yuu started teaching Alma something they called kata. They were a series of movements to follow through, one after another and were what Yuu had apparently used when he fought for the Black Order. Alma's descriptions were so detailed that Shion and Nezumi attempted to follow through, both to kill time during the winter and to maybe gain some knowledge in self-defence.
Shion was of course better at memorizing the descriptions and at some point he started repeating them from memory as the two of them went through move after move, slowly getting better. It was fun in a soothing kind of way, letting them focus just on the fluidity of the moves and the sequence, but Shion wasn't sure how it could be used in a fight. He was pretty sure it couldn't, until Alma wrote otherwise.
Dear diary, for once I'm good in what I'm doing. Many of the things Lavi taught me were difficult to remember and so weird, but the kata come almost naturally. I think even Yuu is impressed by my progress, because he said we should start to use the moves in a real fight. Of course he needed to show off right afterwards, because he says my ego will explode otherwise, and he defeated me with only two kata. He performed them so fast I could barely watch, but it was beautiful. Nonetheless, my ego is thoroughly crushed. It told him but he didn't seem bothered.
For the second duel, Yuu moved slower and I could counter his moves if I remembered to not stare. He moves so gracefully, so fluently and- I think I'm in love. Regardless of everything that was and of who we had been, I think me, Alma: I am in love with Yuu. With this Yuu, not whom he used to be. What chance do I have that Yuu will reciprocate the feeling towards me? Sometimes there's something in his eyes that gives me hope but I don't dare to hope too much because the world is cruel. Sometimes I wonder if he sees Her when he looks at me and that thought hurts, because I'm not Her. I will never be Her and I don't want to be, because I want to be me and I want to spend time with Yuu.
After he won the third time with ease, I promised Yuu that I will get back at him one day. He laughed. He actually laughed and it was mocking, but it sounded happy and I felt warm inside. I could listen to him laugh for hours I think. He also said that if I win against him, and he said "if" not "when" that damned bastard, I can collect whatever a prize I want from him. He shouldn't have said that, but I guess he didn't know it would motivate me so much, because I already know what the prize I will collect will be. I thought about it for a while and now I know how I will do it. It is motivation enough to train twice as hard. In fact I started and now Yuu is trying to limit me, saying that I shouldn't strain my body too much, I should not get injured, in case my core would not support the healing.
As though I would let something like that stop me.
Shion thought that he knew what Alma would demand as a prize in the situation and it was inevitable that he assumed Alma would have thought the same. He hoped Alma managed also, but Nezumi took the small pause in reading as an excuse to get up and go to pick up more wood. He discovered, in the meantime, that the most recent snowstorm had finished and so they went out to practice the kata, trying to put them into fighting sequences with moderate success. It seemed like there was a fighting potential in the moves, but they couldn't put the attack and defence together yet, so maybe Alma hadn't shared everything.
They eventually returned to the diary to see if more advice would follow, but Alma did not describe the fights move by move. Only from his registry of the ways he lost they managed to get out some bits of descriptions. It wasn't much, but they staged the "fails" and somehow it got them started thinking in another angle and suddenly the kata started fitting into the fight.
Dear diary, I won, read Shion one evening and he felt his excitement grow. He had expected some more pointers on the fights, but this would be so much better! He allowed himself a moment to grin, but then Nezumi poked him to continue reading. He laughed and complied.
Today I finally won against Yuu for the first time. I did not forget his words about the prize and neither did he, but let me write all this up properly. The day started as usual: I cleaned the house while Yuu did some gardening. He loves to work with plants and earth and it makes me happy to see him so serene. We only start sparring when all the tasks for the day are finished, so it feels like an award already and it kind of is. Even when I lose I get to be close to Yuu, I get to see him in what he does best and I get to learn how to keep up. And every time I am getting better, even Yuu says it.
Today, however, was quite another story. Yuu won the first duel and corrected me on how to move my feet when I changed direction and when we started the second duel, something changed. Of course I tried to do what he told me, but could it have made such a difference? I don't know, but I could see that I was keeping up better, never letting Yuu land a blow and I think it surprised him as much as it surprised me. I think it was partly why I won, but I don't really care because I got what I wanted. And more. I parried his blow and he tripped over something. It was so surprising that I almost didn't use the chance, but I recovered a split of a second faster than him and used it to get him completely off balance. It didn't go perfectly: I landed on top of him, because I miscalculated.
It was weird. For a moment we were breathless from the fall and then Yuu laughed shortly and asked me what I wanted, since he had promised. For a moment I didn't know what he meant. Then I remembered and looked at him, wondering how to say it. And he looked so beautiful: flushed from the fight, with his hair in disarray on the grass around his head. And there was this happy expression in his beautiful, dark-blue eyes that I might have seen for the very first time. And there was only one thing I could think of, so did it.
I kissed him.
I had meant for it to be more romantic, not lying in the grass, somewhat muddy and wet from the recent rains. I definitely didn't mean to be squashing him into that mud either. It was perfect though. Needless to say that Yuu was surprised, but then he kissed me back and now I wonder if he said those things about the prize and taunted me to get better hoping that I would get an idea like that. It is a nice thought. However, back then I could only think about how perfect it was, how soft and warm his lips were and how delicious they tasted. I thought about how good it felt to be pressed so close to each other.
When our lips finally parted, way too soon for my liking and I looked at him, Yuu smiled. It was just a small smile, as though he was shy about it, but it only expressed happiness and it was pure happiness that lit up his eyes as he looked back at me. Obviously he wanted that kiss, he wanted me. Stupidly, I felt tears well in my eyes just then, blurring his beautiful face in front of me. He told me I was silly for crying and I lied that I wasn't crying before we kissed again.
He's taking a shower now, because he did spent quite a while pressed against the muddy grass. And I'm sitting here, trying to control my imagination, because he left all his muddy clothes here and I wonder if he took fresh ones to the bathroom. And the funniest thing is that it wouldn't be the first time he'd come out of the shower wrapped in a towel, because he usually does that. But that kiss somehow changed everything, at least for me. I cannot stop thinking about it and just the idea of kissing Yuu and being able to touch his skin, which looks so soft and flawless, rather than his clothes is making me dizzy. I might try tonight if I don't burn from embarrassment before.
Until then
The entry stopped at that point and Shion felt himself flush furiously. It didn't take a genius to deduce that Yuu must have come out of the shower and Shion had no doubt that he did so wrapped in the towel, if only to tease Alma. And Shion could clearly see the scene in his mind. He could very well imagine the surprise Alma must have felt and then the embarrassment and the desire to touch that flawless skin. And he could see Yuu smirk knowingly, daring Alma to go for it. Only in his mind Yuu had slightly lighter hair. In his mind Yuu's hair was much shorter and did not have that tattoo Alma was mentioning so often. In his mind, Yuu had grey eyes. And Shion blushed even harder, because there he was, fantasising about seeing Nezumi almost naked.
'I'm not sure I want to read it if he's going to be so open about everything they did that night,' Nezumi laughed, snapping Shion out of his thoughts. Only the words put Shion's imagination on fast forward and "Yuu" still looked like Nezumi and he was kind of imagining it from Alma's point of view and- Surely there was a limit of how hot his cheeks could feel before they took on fire. Nezumi laughed again and Shion realized, mortified, that the other was watching him. 'I should have expected that you didn't get any experience in those things,' he said teasingly.
'Of course I didn't. I was waiting for you to teach me,' Shion blurted out and slapped his hand over his mouth immediately. That was not what he wanted to say. Well, it was what he wanted to say, but it was not what he should say and definitely not how he wanted to say it. Nezumi looked at him strangely and then laughed again, getting up and going to the window. Shion watched him, wondering if there was anything he could say to make the other forget his embarrassing admission.
'Say Shion,' Nezumi started quietly, as though nothing had happened. It was a relief and a disappointment at the same time. 'The skies are clear for once. Do you think we will get to see the Northern Lights finally?' he asked. Shion's eyes widened and he almost forgot about what he said before. The Northern Lights! The words brought images his mind has made up after he read Alma's description.
'Do you think it's possible?' he asked back hopefully. Nezumi shrugged.
'I don't really understand what that Alma guy wrote about them showing up and I think he didn't either,' he admitted. Alma had probably written word by word what Lavi had explained about the genesis of the lights dancing in the sky. Shion did understand it, but had no way to measure the activity of the sun and predict the appearance of the light. 'But he wrote about them so often that I should think it's not unusual to see them during the winter,' Nezumi added. 'I would like to see them.'
'I would like to see them as well,' Shion agreed. He was about to add more, when Nezumi gasped, efficiently silencing him. 'What-' was all he managed to say before the other threw him his coat and dragged him out before Shion even finished putting on the coat. Once outside, he understood immediately and he could only look up in amazement at the sky that was not black.
Above, a curtain of green light brightened the night, growing steadily. There was not a sound. It flowed, in a way, illuminating the snow that was all around and highlighting the calm silence with an ever changing spectacle. Shion glanced at Nezumi, who didn't even bother to hide his amazement as he watched and Shion felt happy to see it. Sometimes, it felt like the isolation removed some of Nezumi's "protective layer", making him less guarded. He laughed genuinely, which Shion hasn't heard before. He looked happy and now he looked amazed. And Shion was amazed as well, because the lights were beautiful, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from Nezumi.
An idea crossed his head and he thought: why not?
'Nezumi,' he started hesitantly, suddenly feeling very nervous. His companion looked at him questioningly, the dancing lights casting shifting shadows on his face. He was sure that Nezumi could hear his hammering heart. It was now or never, Shion thought and, before Nezumi could ask what he wanted, he leaned in and kissed him.
At first, Nezumi twitched in surprise but then, Shion realised with some delay, he was kissing him back and for a moment the world only contained them. All Shion could think of was the feeling of the lips caressing his and the hand that entangled into his hair and how right it felt. And he did not want it to end, but it had to and when it did Nezumi rested his forehead against Shion's and the green lights still danced in the sky. Nezumi laughed quietly.
'I guess I should thank that Alma guy,' he said and Shion blushed. He felt rather silly, until he realised that Nezumi might have been waiting for him to do something like that. With that incredible thought, he forced the other to look at him and tried to read Nezumi's expression, but the only thing he found was happiness. So he smiled, amazed when Nezumi actually smiled back, before leaning in to kiss him again.
Shion couldn't believe how easy it was.