The Worst Kind of Weapon

Chapter 6: Scars and Stories

"You're like the big brother I never had and it kills me to see you in this turmoil. And, it's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair to you and it's not fair that kid. Cuz they're going to be missing out on the world's most awesome dad. Cuz you…you…you would actually be involved in this kid's life. You would read to him and you would play ball with him…or dolls…with her. And you would tell that kids the truth, you would. That's the most…that's more than most kids get. Look, I'm speaking from experience. My family…hah…They have a lot of secrets. And it is not cool when the people you've been counting on your whole life have been lying to you from square one. Ok, that baby, Elizabeth's baby, is going to find out the truth one day…and that kid….That kid is going to believe that the coolest dad around didn't want them. Now, can you honestly look me in the eye and say that you're okay with that?"

--Damien Spinelli to Jason Morgan, GH 04.06.07

Jason led Spinelli's trembling form over to the couch. Spinelli clutched the laptop close to his chest as if trying to cover himself. He felt so exposed, as if someone had clawed at his skin and peeled back the flesh to show the weakness of the man inside. Spinelli sat heavily on the couch, feeling so heavy that he expected to crash through the couch and through the ground itself. He wanted to fall, to collapse. Still clutching the laptop, he focused all of his attention on his feet tapping fast enough against the carpet from nerves that he thought he could rub a hole through the floor by the end of the hour. He would have been content to never break his gaze from that site, but Jason intervened.

"Spinelli…what is going on?"

He realized that there was no escaping this room. Spinelli didn't know where to start, but words seemed to form for him.

"My parents died when I was fourteen." He didn't know why that mattered, but something told him that that was the best place to start. Jason's instincts took over, and Spinelli could see him physically bracing himself. It was his defense mechanism; remain cool and collected on the outside but prepare yourself mentally for great damage.

"I'm sorry…you never mention them." Jason replied apprehensively.

"Yeah…it was rough…we had a falling out the year before and weren't really ever close again…" Spinelli remembered the cold night his grandmother roused him from sleep and took him to the hospital to see his parents, the two of them wandering into his father's room to see him lying in bed, slashed, bruised, swollen. His grandmother probably would have kept him from the room, but she wasn't expecting what they saw either.

"This 18 wheeler slid on the road…my parents drove this green economy car…they didn't have a chance." His mother died on impact, and his father the next day due to internal bleeding that couldn't be stopped in time. Spinelli had never felt so completely alone in his life.

"That's horrible."

"Yeah…I'd hoped that we would all become close with each other again one day. I avoided them as much as I could for a long time, mainly staying in my room and stuff..All the while I hoped, you know, that ...Maybe tomorrow or the next day, I could forgive them. Then they died…all my chances were taken." Spinelli ripped the beanie off of his head and threw it across the room in frustration. Jason's hand twitched at the sudden act of frustration. It was that instinct again, Spinelli guessed. It must have been great, never being surprised.

"What….what did you have a falling out over?" Jason asked.

Several things flashed before Spinelli's eyes at once. The image of his parents, a light-brown-haired, brown eyed mother and a blond haired, brown eyed father stared at him from years ago, still alive in his mind. He remembered the day at a blood drive when he realized that neither his mother nor father had the same blood type as him. Spinelli recalled the lesson in biology when he found out that this was very strange. He recollected the day he asked his mother on the way home from school why he had such dark brown hair, where did it come from? He could still see the grimace on her face when he asked. Spinelli still felt the cold of the tile under his feet as he spied on his parents from a bathroom next to their living room, his mom and dad fighting quietly but intensely about what was "best" for him. He could recite the exact curse words his father exclaimed when Spinelli revealed himself and demanded to know what the hell they were talking about.

Jason must have noticed that Spinelli was years and years away. "Spinelli?" He said, quietly.

"They lied to me, Stone Cold…Jason….They were fighting about me and I wanted to know why…and they told me…they told me…" That was it, the tears came. Spinelli let one hand off the laptop and grabbed his own face pressing the corners of his eyes to make them stop leaking. Even though he did not make a sound, Jason knew Spinelli was completely shattered as his body gave one violent jerk from a sob.

"Spinelli I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

Spinelli looked up from his hand directly into Jason's face. He wasn't being mean or impatient, and Spinelli knew that Jason's command was simply a way to get Spinelli to control himself.

The words came out of his mouth before he could stop. "They told me they adopted me. They picked me like some lost dog at a pound. There was this poor little woman who just couldn't deal with having a baby and she gave me up. I was too much of a burden for one person so my parents kindly took me in. Do you know what it is like to be considered an object of trade?" Spinelli stared Jason down and he could tell that Jason was really uncomfortable. He didn't like ambiguity.

"I don't--" Jason began but Spinelli cut him off.

"I'm prone to panic attacks for some reason and I started to freak out on them. My mom thought that the best way to calm me down was get me this damned file and she's was all like 'Here, Damien, look at this, it will answer all of your questions'. She hands this manila file to me that had been in their filing cabinet for years, a cabinet that I had scanned through dozens of times and yet never noticed, and Mom kind of looks at me to make the next move." Spinelli stood up suddenly and turned his back to Jason, speaking to the wall, almost as if he could see his mother there from years ago.

"I didn't want to read the explanation of what was going on, I wanted them to explain it to me. My dad looks at me and says 'It's all there, son, her name, your dad's name, anything you want' and I couldn't believe what was going on. They obviously hadn't ever planned to tell me anything and were winging it."

Spinelli looked down at the laptop in his hands, but all he saw was a manila folder clutched in the death grip of a thirteen year old boy.

"I just stared at the thing and they stared at me…and then I remembered that I had a lighter in my pocket and something told me to just burn it, burn their lies, and so I did." He turned back and faces Jason, who was looking up from him captivated. Spinelli sat back down on the couch. There was so much intensity in what he had been saying that Spinelli looked and felt physically drained. When he finally found his voice again, it was strained by depression.

"My mother freaked and couldn't believe I was destroying to thing that would have 'all the answers, son'. You know what though? I got the point. Some dumb young selfish woman couldn't handle me, dumped me, and I didn't want to know anything about her. I could have searched for the answers and got them in the time it took me to make a search engine, but I didn't want to. Do you understand, Jason?"

Jason just stared. He did know. He didn't want to know about his past after his head injury over a decade ago. Explanations sometimes were the last thing you wanted.

Spinelli opened the laptop and typed for a moment until he came to the page of the document that mattered. He pushed it over in Jason's direction, and the older man grabbed it began reading what had caused Spinelli's outburst.

This time, Spinelli got to watch someone as they read something damning. A thought occurred to him that Jason might feel obligated to tell Sonny, and Spinelli eyed the door again. Escaping wouldn't have been that hard. He could get out to the elevator before Jason had a chance to react. Running wouldn't be a saving grace though, and he knew it. He supposed that he would simply have to trust Jason.

Jason looked up from the computer screen. "You're Trevor's son."

Spinelli watched the different emotions race across Jason's features. Comprehending, understanding, concern, dread. "I swear to you that I didn't know, Stone Cold. I never intended to find out. You have to believe me."

Jason knew that this kid was almost completely incapable of a convincing lie. It registered in his tone, the desperation in his eyes.

"I believe you." Spinelli sighed with relief.

"You can't tell anyone, Jason. I don't want anyone to know….I haven't even grasped it all yet. Please, Jason, not even Sonny."

Jason sighed heavily. "Sonny should know. This could be important. But…" Spinelli was about to interrupt him. "You kept Jake's secret; I can keep this one, as long as I can at least. If it's a matter of life and death I won't hesitate in telling Sonny, especially considering how dangerous Trevor is. You're officially at risk." Spinelli seemed to be able to accept this, but bowed his head in worry.

"We need to find out all we can about this though. We need to know if Trevor is aware of you. So, explain to me all you know again."

Spinelli shrugged. "My parents said that they met my mom, that she was young, the offered to keep in touch and she just didn't want that at all…" Spinelli's gaze dropped for a second. "They said I was born early, nearly died."

Jason registered all of this. "What is her name?"

Spinelli took the laptop from Jason and looked at another page of the adoption papers. His mother had been his age when she delivered him. He thought of Lulu, how young she was, and could not imagine a man as old as Trevor must have been seducing someone who could barely be called a woman.

"Constance Falconeri." Spinelli began a search for anything he could on her.

"Falconeri?" Jason asked in a weird voice.

Spinelli looked up from the computer and caught a small bit of shock on Jason's face.

"What?"

Jason considered for a moment his reply. Sonny had told him about Connie Falconeri/Kate Howard and how she had been one of Trevor's mistresses. The woman that found herself caught between the personalities of Sonny Corinthos and Trevor Lansing, enemies that spanned decades of loathing, a woman who concerned herself with the flippant ways of fashion and design, was Spinelli's mother. She had always struck Jason as cold, and this was the ultimate deception of character.

Spinelli was a lonely, sensitive person who fixated on people and things to the point of obsession because no one ever took the time to consider him with such intensity. Kate Howard did not have the time for a son. It enraged him. To be given every opportunity to raise your child was such a blessing, he knew, and he couldn't understand how she could so easily throw him away when it was so hard for Jason to do the same thing.

Looking at Spinelli's questioning stare, Jason debated on whether or not he could tell him the truth. This was suddenly very complicated, and Jason decided it was wiser not to show his cards just yet.

"It's nothing." Jason replied, and just as Spinelli was about to debate him some results came in on Spinelli's search.

"There are phone records and bank account statements…they kind of just stop around eighteen years ago. It's like she doesn't exist after that." Jason was a nervous about how close Spinelli was to the truth.

A little sadder, Spinelli said, "I wonder if she died…"

"Don't dwell on it Spinelli…that must be a cold trail. Let's focus more on Trevor." Jason tried to distract him.

Spinelli couldn't help but think about the age of his mother…how young she was…A small part of him could almost identify with the fear she must have felt at being barely an adult and about to deliver a child. For the first time since he found out he was adopted years ago, he almost understood.

He and Jason analyzed the documents he turned up for hours before his raw emotions and the late hour caught up with him. When Spinelli crashed onto his bed and pulled the blanket over his head, blocking out even the moonlight, he couldn't help but feel more alone than ever. Even after getting the puzzle of his life solved, he couldn't help but feel as though he were missing a piece.

--

Jason Morgan awoke to the sound of a cell phone. He almost toppled out of bed in a tangle of sheets to answer it. Looking down at the caller I.D., he realized it was Sonny calling.

"Sonny?"

"Jason. We have a problem. Kate Howard has gone missing." Jason could hear the uncertainness in his voice.

"Zacchara?" Jason asked.

"I think he must have had something to do with it. It's too convenient."

"I'll be right over."

When Sonny got off the phone with Jason, he immediately began dialing another number.

"Hello? Stan. It's Corinthos. I need you to find out everything you can on Anthony Zacchara and Trevor Lansing."

--

Anthony Zacchara stretched back in his chair. He liked this little office. It was very makeshift. He'd had some men search for an abandoned warehouse, and after tossing out a few homeless men, they had found a very quaint little home base. He couldn't care less that his office was a closed off area filled with such stylish furniture as a card table and a lawn chair. Zacchara didn't plan to be there very long. Besides, he just needed a place to take meetings.

And in walked his 9:00. Trevor Lansing pulled up an overturned crate and sat across from him.

"Where did you put her?" He asked Lansing.

Lansing smiled lightly. "Oh, Ms. Howard is stationed comfortably in the back room. She is already detailing for Roberto the exact layout of Sonny's house. I thought we would start off small, ask her about some of his haunts later."

Zacchara was a brutal man, never blinking at some of the violence he had to inflict on others to stay in power. However, it was one thing to accept his own violent behavior and a completely different thing to enjoy it as much as Trevor Lansing did. A thought occurred to Zacchara…Lansing had always been the perfect soldier. Publicly reputable and yet privately vicious, Trevor Lansing knew how to get a job done. He was too good at what he did. Zacchara decided to take the opportunity presented to him to reiterate his alpha-dog status.

Anthony knew that Kate Howard meant a lot to Trevor. When he had asked Trevor to get dirt on her, Anthony knew he had found Trevor's weakness. It was the first time that Lansing had ever questioned an order. Why her? What were his plans? Yes, definitely a weakness.

"I would like an explanation as to why she was so eager to come stay with us, Trevor."

Trevor's eyes grew wide for a second. Bingo, there it was. "She's…worried about her reputation…I just found out…."

"Found out about Damien Spinelli?" asked Zacchara with look of faux sadness.

"How…did..." Trevor stumbled.

Anthony pulled out a roll of papers from his jacket pocket. "You used my people Trevor. I get to know everything they find out." Lansing paled. He had hoped to come up with something before Zacchara got a chance to question anything about Kate's kidnapping.

"I was going to tell you."

Anthony kicked back again, this time propping his feet up on a crate. "I know you were. Don't worry though, you don't need to come up with any plans for the two...I've already got men on it."

Trevor stared. Zacchara was grinning and there was a devilish look in his eye. "What are you going to do?"

Zacchara broke down laughing. "Oh, Trevor...Trevor...You have no idea...I have been in the best mood ever since finding out about Mr. Spinelli. It's perhaps the most perfect situation."

"What?"

"Your son, Trevor, was just going to be a way to get Kate Howard to talk...He's so much more important now. Did you know he lives in Port Charles?"

Trevor let out a shaky breath. "No. I did not. So, you've already found him."

Zacchara smiled as big a as crocodile and just as deadly. "Oh, yes." Anthony pulled out a picture of a messy headed brunette boy. "Take a look at your progeny, Mr. Lansing."

Trevor took the picture gently from Zacchara's grip and looked at the boy he had never been able to know. He was walking in what looked to be a park wearing scraggly clothes and toting along a messenger bag. Next to him was a pretty blond girl and they were talking. Damien was not as handsome as Richard perhaps, but he looked like his brother in a strange way. A warped version of him, possibly. There were significant traces of Kate all about him.

It was terrifying to see his son. Before, he was just a name. Now, he wondered what he had gotten himself into, especially because of the grin that Zacchara sported. It was sadistic.

Zacchara interrupted his train of thought. "Nice looking kid. Bad choice in friends though. Your son works for Sonny Corinthos."

"No."

"Oh yes. He's a computer hacker. Real eccentric kid. Anyways, he knows all the ins and outs of Corinthos' work." Anthony loved the look on Trevor's face with this news. It was shock in its greatest form. "Happy birthday to me."

Trevor looked back down at the picture, at the boy who had no idea that he was now a weapon for Manhattan's strongest and most violent crime boss.

"What are you going to do to him?"

"Oh, well, right now I have people watching his patterns. In a few days I'm going to bring him in for a little...questioning."

"Then what?"

Zacchara smiled his coldest grin yet. "Well, I'm really sorry to do this to you, but well...I've got to send a message to Corinthos. It's not like you ever really knew him anyways."

Trevor paled. Not this. Anything but this. This was just supposed to be blackmail. "You're going to kill him?"

"Only after he gives me everything I could ever dream of having on Sonny. Oh, and Kate will have to go too...I'm sorry, Trevor, but you can always get another bed warmer. It's just business. Nothing personal."

--

A/N: I'm back! This chapter was kind blah for me and I'm sorry if you agree. It's kind of just one of those necessary chapters to get from point a to b. Were getting closer and closer to the chapter I have been anticipating from the beginning...

Next Chapter: It's time for a takeover, the breaks over. The pieces are in place for some major drama to go down...Stan brings Sonny some news that gets him riled up, a connection that spells betrayal. Spinelli better watch his back because two sides of an army are about to put him in their crosshairs.