Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own Pikmin or Nintendo
Thanks for the one review, but I would appreciate it if you reviewed my latest chapter. I'd also like to note that my email is changing, so look at my profile page if you want to see it. I'd also like to note that I accept anonymous reviews.
Chapter 7: The really really big battle or Larry:A life of getting pawned (part two)
"We attack in broad daylight!" declared the yellow bulborb commander. "Ummm... isn't it traditional to attack at night?" voiced his lackey. "Exactly! They'll be expecting that! And besides bulborbs are nocturnal, so day is like our night." "Ummm...Ummm..." "What is it now?" "I forgot my script!" "What! Do you know how mad The Master of Parody will be?" "Uh-oh... maybe I can sneak commando style to his computer and look up what I'm supposed to say. He won't know a thing!"
I'd like to get on with the story, but first I have to squash this insect crawling on my computer. SQUISH! Wow! Is it just me, or did that look like a bulborb? Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep... anyways, the story must go on.
A little later, at the area where Olimar's ship and the onions were docked, Larry (who yes, was the same pikmin from earlier, who had miraculously managed to survive the wood chipper) came running up to the onions. "The bulborbs are here! We're all doomed!" "This from the pikmin that cried " Y.101K virus"" Another pikmin rolled his eyes. "No, I'm serious! I even brought back a dead dweevil to show you!" Larry dragged over a poorly painted bomb rock with some pipe cleaners attached to it. It had a note on it that said "This is dweevil. No bomb rock. Carry to onion."
"Larry you fool! That grammar is atrocious! How do you expect us to get the message that that isn't a bomb rock and an incredibly ugly dweevil with that language?" Even as he said that, other pikmin were carting it off to the onion. "But I didn't write tha-" Larry was cut off when he heard Olimar whistle all of the pikmin to him. "Looks like it's gonna be war," he noted, looking through some binoculars at the massive enemy armies. Olimar withdrew all of the pikmin from the onions he could muster. Larry sneaked back to his onion, thinking that that would be the safest place to be.
"Hmm... I'd love to hear what the red leader is saying, but taking this dweevil to the onion is important too" He finished carrying the bomb rock to Larry's onion, and quickly ran off. Larry, although he was just a slow witted pikmin, quickly realized that it was a bomb rock when it was activated by being sucked into the onion. He quickly chucked it back out.
"So, here's the battle plan" Olimar said to his pikmin troops. "What we'll do is I'll wait up on that ledge over there with the purple pikmin. The red pikmin will lure the bulborbs over to an area where I can throw the purples on them. The whites, using their superior speed, will run around to the back of their army while they're distracted and eliminate their cannon beetles and Gatling groink artillery. Then the yellows and blues will sweep in and- holy #! Who threw that bomb rock down here?" All the pikmin ran away from the blast radius, then looked to see where it had come from.
Within seconds, they had dragged down Larry from the onion. "He must be infected by a puffstool!" "What can we do?" A mob of angry pikmin had quickly been assembled. "There are two things we could do, one, hunt down the puffstool that infected him. Which would take a long time and surely would kill many pikmin. Also, this would be in direct conflict with our "Every pikmin left behind" act. Option two would be to burn Larry at the stalk." Cries of "Burn the puff-traitor" were heard.
Even as Larry was tied to the pellet posy stalk, Larry breathed a sigh of relief that the pikmin had forgotten that he couldn't burn and was red. But another effect of setting the plant afire was to cause the stalk to snap. Unfortunately for Larry, directly behind the pellet posy plant was a lake. Larry gulped as the stalk fell backwards...but then was blown forwards by a sudden gust of wind so it landed right in a circle of watery blowhogs.
By now of course, the battle was on. Olimar waited up on the ledge with his purple pikmin. The red pikmin easily drew the bulborbs towards him. Olimar tossed his purples onto the first line of bulborbs. The purples crushed them, but soon fell ill and died. The bulborbs were the white poisonous ones that were a product of the candy pop buds! "I didn't expect them to rip off the candy pop buds too..." thought Olimar. The whites tried to slip around to the back, but were crushed by purple bulborbs thrown. The yellows and blues came in from the sides, but were killed by hordes of dwarf fiery bulblaxes. Soon, the reds were all that were left, but the blue and yellow bulborbs dragged them, respectively, into water and electricity.
Meanwhile, Louie, who was totally oblivious to the carnage going on around him, saw the yellow commander on the other side of the battlefield. "Maybe if I take him out, I can become a hero and turn the tide!" Louie thought. He charged through the battle. Gatling groinks, cannon beetles, dirgibugs, wollywogs, anode beetles, dweevils, blowhogs, doodlebugs, burrow nits, and many other creatures all rushed forward to try to get him. Boulders met blowhogs, bombs met beetles, explosives met electricity, fire met flesh, as they all collided, killing everything except Louie, whose spacesuit was surprisingly durable. By the time Louie was to the commander, the entire army was gone.
"Aggh! Morons!" cried out the commander. "In ripping off the pikmin, I forgot that I was adopting their stupidity too! But, I can still kill you!" The bulborb lunged at Louie. Louie dodged, but was surprised to see that the bulborb had all the suit upgrades he did. When Louie let loose a rocket punch, it was blocked by a rocket kick. Every move he had, the commander could, and did do, too. Louie tried using the "sleeping bag move" where he went asleep. But the bulborb was not so stupid as to do this move to. He took off his helmet, and lunged to bite Louie, but tripped over Larry, who was running past with a water bubble around his head.
The two tumbled backwards into a cloud of poisonous gas left behind by a combined force of dweevils and doodlebugs. Since the commander had removed his helmet to try and bite Louie, he quickly succumbed to the poisonous gas. Unfortunately, so did Larry, who finally died. "Wow! I hadn't expected that move to actually work!" he exclaimed. However, there was one threat remaining... The huge pik-orb lumbered out onto the battlefield. Olimar had gotten their to join the fight by now. "Crud! It looks like they even ripped off the bulbmin concept! How are we gonna defeat that?" The pik-orb leaped high into the air with it's yellow high leaping capabilities, and came plummeting down at a high speed due to it's purple ones.
Louie and Olimar scrambled and got away in time, but were stunned by the shock waves it created. "How can we defeat something that's on fire and secretes poison at the same time?" Suddenly, hobbling up on crutches, with many stitches, was, you guessed it, the giant breadbug. But no seriously, it was Super Bulbmin. "YAAAAAA!" Super bulbmin let out a battle cry and charged forward (as fast as one can with crutches). It was easily licked up by the pik-orb. But the day was saved, as it choked to death on the crutches. "That's gonna bring in a lot of pikmin!" said Louie, noting it's mammoth body.
Look out for the last chapter, titled "pokos, peril, and pain"!
Once again, it's time to answer fan mail. First we have a letter from the red bulborb commander. He wrote " I'd like to request that you write to bulborbs everywhere, reminding them to chew their pikmin carefully. Too many pikmin lives are not cut short due to bulborbs choking" How awful! You're right! I want to see some bulborbs dieing in much more creative ways then choking to death! Our next letter is from Louie: " Why do I always get portrayed as the incompetent hungry one! It's not like I... Oh wait! It's dinner time! I think I'll cook up some broiled wollywog legs!" Well my short (in both height and attention span) friend, I'll try to portray you as stupid instead of incompetent. Next chapter I answer mail from Olimar and the ship's computer.