*****THIS IS JUST EDITED. IT IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER I AM SO SORRY! I KNOW I HAVE BEEN GONE FOREVER*******

I would just like to remind everyone that this story is rated M for Mature. If you are not mature please do not read this story- from this point on things get more intense and more grown up. So please- so none of your mommies come after me- leave this story if you are not old enough. This story will have lots of cussing, drug use (which I don't condone), drinking, sex, death and a lot more. If you are not comfortable with this, I am sorry, but this story won't be for you. Thank you:)

XOXO

Chapter 7:

BPOV

Sitting with Charlotte, I realized I know very little about the game of football. As for her, she lives and breathes it. She explained the whole game to me- positions, plays and rules. To say I was lost would be an understatement. I can't even begin to fathom the idea of the game.

"Charlotte, how do you know so much about football?" I asked her, when my curiosity got to me.

"Peter," she answered, not taking her eyes form the field. "He talks about football more than anything; it's his passion. I made him teach me to understand the game, so I would know what he was talking about. When he talks about the game, he gets so happy, you know? He's very rarely happy; I wanted to know everything about what made him so happy."

Wow, she really loves him, I thought to myself.

I was shocked when she shared that information with me; I never thought she'd tell me something so intimate. I'm happy she did though, it helps me to understand her and Peter. But really, there's not much to understand. They're two people who love each other unconditionally. The more I'm around them, the more I see that. I have never seen two people hold such a love for each other; not even old married couples. In that moment, when she told me about how she learned about the game, her eyes glimmered with love. She loves Peter- it's as simple as that.

In my mind, I know there is not a thing she wouldn't do for that man; and not a thing she wouldn't do for him. I couldn't help but feel happy for them- but I still feel jealousy towards them.

How could I not?

It's not so much a jealousy, as it is a longing. I long to have a love like that- so deep and endless. Like two pieces of one. It's beautiful really.

"You really love him, huh?"

"Oh yes," she smiled at me. "More than you'll ever know. That man, he's my future, my everything. I will never love another like I love Peter. He saved me, and I saved him. Without him, I wouldn't be where I am now. He led me to my family- my brothers and sisters. They all mean so much to me, Bella. I know it's weird for you to understand- how all of us kids see a family in each other. We just do. None of us have a great home life; but together we're a family- we love and we hurt- we do that together." She looked back at me, with sadness in her eyes. I could tell by that look how much her faux family means to her. They are her world. "There's not a thing I wouldn't do for them." There was an underlying hardness to her last statement; I knew she meant those words as a threat. She was warning me- that if I were to ruin her family- I'd answer to her.

"I don't doubt that," I murmured, letting her knew I took heed to her warning. I would never harm her family; I don't think I could, actually. I have a feeling, if that group fell apart, it wouldn't be me who did it. But I wouldn't tell her that.

"I see how you look at Jasper," she stated, out of nowhere. I looked to her, my jaw basically hitting the floor. What?

"You look at him like you're studying him; you look at us all like that, actually. Like we're some science experiment, or something. But when you look at him, there's this longing in your eye. I don't know what you want from him- or if he will give you anything- but he's not a shiny toy to play with. If anything, he'll play with you until you break. Jas has seen a lot- too much- in his life. And he isn't nice, Bella. Just a warning, if you play with fire you'll get burned." What in the world? Where has this come from? Why does she feel like she needs to warn me from Jasper? Neither of us has ever even spoken to each other.

And he's not nice? What does that mean?

He'll break me like a toy?

None of this makes sense; nothing of what she had said makes sense. "What are you talking about, Charlotte? I've never even talked to Jasper before."

"Are you denying that you are attracted to him, Bella? You are, I can tell- hell, he can tell. It's written all over your face. Don't feel bad about that, though, it's hard not to be attracted to him. He's hot and he's mysterious; the town's bad boy. What girl isn't attracted to that? Hell I am- to Peter," She chuckled. "All I'm saying is that if you two try to venture into some sort of relationship- which you might- watch out. He's drawn to you, too. You might not see- hell no one else does- but I do. He hasn't been around someone so completely innocent as you before. He wants to decipher you, just as much as you want to him. You two are almost inevitable. Don't think for one second, that one you two crash and burn, I'll be on your side though. Jasper is my brother, and I protect what's mine." She pointed at me, "But, I think you could possibly be good for him, in a way."

I couldn't even begin to comprehend what Charlotte had just told me. It came from far left field, and I have never been so lost in my life. Why did she feel the need to share this with me? Where was this coming from? I never even fathomed the idea of a relationship with Jasper before; sure he's attractive. But does that mean I want a relationship with him? Not necessarily.

But I wouldn't oppose either. I do have to admit, there's something about Jasper that draws me to him. I want to know him. God, I want to know him in so many ways.

Charlotte says we're almost inevitable. We're both so drawn to each other, she says. I don't see it. He's never even looked me in the eye, I yell internally. How could anything form from nothing? She has no idea what she's talking about. There will never be Jasper and me, because we won't ever have the chance to. He's never even began to show an interest in my existence. I don't know what she is seeing when she says she sees that he is drawn to me. He doesn't even see me! He ignores me every day. Did she take Alice's pills? Charlotte is crazy; hell, they all are! I should have seen it from the beginning. It's a group of five, psycho, lonely teenagers! I need to get away from them. If Charlotte was right about one thing that if I played with fire I would be burned. And they are the brightest, hottest fire.

If that's so true, why do you feel so drawn to them? You belong with them, my inner voice mocked at me. Oh, shut up.

"I didn't say it to scare you, Bella," Charlotte broke me from my inner fight. "Don't overthink it; just go with the flow. You think too much, I can see that. I don't even know you, and I see that. You need to learn to live out of that head of yours. It's a lot more fun out here, in real life," she smirked in my direction. "If we can teach you anything, it'll be how to have fun. I promise you that. Now, quit worrying over the shit I said- it might not even happen. I just had to get it off my chest. The game is over, let's go." She pulled me up by my arm, and led me down the bleachers and to Rose's car.

Why would she tell me all that, to just get it off her chest?

She doesn't know me- hell, that's the most I've ever heard her talk. And she spills and the cryptic shit on my chest. Who is this girl?

I have never been so thoroughly confused. If she could do one thing, it was screw with my mind. She came out of nowhere, said the most delusional things- then took it back! Saying that it was just stuff on her chest she had to get rid of! And then, told me I'm no fun!

Okay, maybe she's right about that, but it still gives her no right!

I don't think I like Charlotte very much. She's very sketchy.

"Prepare yourself for Alice's decorations. She's always goes over top," Charlotte chuckled from my left.

I do not understand this girl- at all. She doesn't seem overly crazy, not like she's mentally ill or anything. But it's just weird for her to warn me like she did then say it was nothing. It's not like I have ever bothered her in some way; we haven't even really bonded.

As more time goes by and more days go by, I realize that I will never understand this group. Not fully. They all are so different and they all have so many secrets. They all run on instinct too; they say what pops in their head that second and move from subject to subject. It leaves me confused and in circles- they all get it, though. They have their own language. I don't think they are meant to be understood and they know that. They know when people are around that no one understands what they're saying. Not really. Every word, every sentence, has a double meaning- a hidden code. Only they can decipher it.

The craziest thing, I don't even think they do it consciously. They grew up together, they know each other. And they are all crazy.

"Hey Char, Bella. Get in the car- let's go," Alice demanded as she pulled Rosalie to the car. We all piled in Rose's small, red sports car.

After my talk with Charlotte, I realized I need to stay more on my toes around these people; watch my back. Watch what I say around them. I hate the idea of deceiving them in any way by lying, but I can't fully trust them yet. I have no doubts I'd be thrown to the woods if I ever crossed them in any way. And as much as I was wary of them, I don't want them to not trust me. I still have that dying need to fit in with them. I can't explain it, but in a way I feel like I could belong here. Belong with them. God knows I want to. I have never fit in any place- nor have I felt like I could- but here, I could here. I could be a part of this world.

Or I hope I can.

With Rosalie's crazy driving we arrived to Alice's house in two minutes. Rosalie drove like we were on a race track; going dangerously fast, but in perfect control. I almost admire how she drove so smoothly at such high speeds; I would if I wasn't absolutely terrified.

"Woah Bella, you look green. Are you okay?" Rosalie asked, walking up to Alice's house. I followed her slowly while trying not to lose my meal from earlier.

"You drive like a maniac," I managed to respond. Rosalie let out a hefty laugh- Char and Alice joined in with their giggles.

"You'll get used to it," Alice managed between giggles. "Rose has always dreamed of being a racecar driver."

"Makes sense," I grumbled. We all stepped in the house and stopped in the foyer. Already I could see decorations coming from the oversized living room. The whole house was decorated with anything that could even slightly resemble the 70's decade. It looks like stereotypical hippies threw up in here. Tie-dye probably covered every surface possible; table cloths, posters, carpets, cups, plates, pillows. The swirls surrounding made me a bit dizzy staring at them. She had cleared out her living room of all furniture save for a long, plastic table on the far wall. In a corner there was a laptop set up on another smaller table; wires connected the lap top to several big speakers. Paper lanterns hung from the ceiling, and on both tables there were lava lamps littering them. Peace sign wall stickers decorated the walls and confetti covered the ground. Alice really went all out- it looks great, really.

"Woah, Ali, way to throwback," Rosalie mumbled walking down the hall way.

"Thank you," Alice clapped her hands. "Now, let's go get dressed! I picked out the perfect outfits for us all!" She skipped in front of us all, straight up the stairs. I had never been to Alice's house before; a part of me expected it to be a huge mansion with unneeded adornments. It wasn't; it's actually incredibly modest. Nothing about this house portrayed Alice's crazy fashion or personality.

This house isn't hers, I realized. Sure she lives here, but it's not home for her. Her house would show her haphazard ways- the way she can jump from one thing to the next in stride. Her house would be bright and unexpected; her house would be decorated to her own personal fashion.

"Okay, here you guys go," Alice handed us all our designated garment bags that held our outfits and a box with our shoes. She told us to all start getting dressed and to hurry.

I pulled out a long white dress and held it in front of me. The front has a deep- but modest V-neck- with gold stitching forming lines down each side of the V. A few inches above the waist there are two more lines, creating a horizontal barrier to stop the lines from the V. The sleeves of the dress were wide in typical 70's fashion with more gold stitching on the edge. It's a beautiful, but simple dress. I quickly undressed from my previous outfit and slipped the dress on. A perfect fit.

"Bella, be sure to take your bra off- they didn't wear bras in the 70's," Alice informed from the other side of the room. I looked down and saw that the front of my bra showed from the deep V anyways.

"They had the right idea," Rose whined. "Bras are fucking horrible." We all giggled and agreed.

I quickly removed my bra and went to grab my shoe box. Alice had picked me out some golden-brown braided sandals, which of course matched my dress perfectly. Thanks to Alice's fashion skills, I looked like the perfect, innocent hippie from the 70's. She really captured my modest style in the outfit.

I turned around to see the others just finishing dressing also. Charlotte wore high-waist jeans that were tight on her thighs and flared out like bell bottoms; she wore a white crop top that just covered her boobs and had long, lace-like sleeves that flared out. Rosalie had on what looked to be authentic jean hot pants with a blood red tank top tucked in. She looked like sex on legs and I knew she'd have boys falling all over her. Alice had on the stereotypical 70's tie-dye dress and platform boots; her outfit was the least authentic of us all.

"Girls, we look hot," Rosalie let out a whistle. I had to agree, we all looked pretty darn good.

"We just need to hair and makeup!" Alice reminded us all. "Off to the bathroom." She led us to the joining bathroom and flicked on the light. "All the makeup and hair styling products you could need." I rolled my eyes at her fanatics- she takes this glamour stuff way to seriously.

I took my hair from my ponytail and started to brush it out; I'd probably just leave it down and wavy. Hippies didn't really do their hair, or makeup. So I'm in luck. After a few minutes of doing makeup, both Alice and Charlotte left. I remained sitting on the toilet in the bathroom, watching Rosalie play with her golden locks. My body relaxed without either of them here; they made me tense up under their prying eyes. They made me feel like the constantly wanted to question me and pick me apart.

"Hey Bella," Rosalie called out to me.

"Yeah Rosalie?"

"You can just call me Rose," she rolled her eyes. "But can I do something with your hair? I have an idea I mind; it's real simple and hippies did it."

"Sure, that's fine," I shrugged.

"Okay, I'm just going to do one of those French braid crowns," she walked over to me. She slightly pulled on my hair while braiding it, but it didn't hurt. "You have such pretty hair."

"Rose, seriously, you have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen," I rushed out. How could she say I have pretty hair when she has perfect golden locks?

"When I was a kid, my mom would make me brush my hair one hundred times before I went to sleep," she said with a sad tone in her voice. "Playing with hair has always been my favorite thing."

"I promise you can play with my hair whenever you want," I chuckled. She smiled at me through the mirror and pinned the edges of the braid at the base of my neck. The braid was a few inches behind my hairline and she pinned back hair, under the braid, to make it look like I had side bangs. I looked like an everyday hippie. I loved it. "This is great! Thanks Rose."

At first, Rose scared me with her mean demeanor. But now, I could really see us being good friends. I like her a lot better than Charlotte that's for sure. With Rose I know I would never get unexpected warnings or weirdly questioned; she would be one hundred percent honest with me at all times. That I know. I don't think she has told a lie ever in her life. She's just not that person.

"I like you, Bella," Rose mirrored my thoughts. "I know I haven't talked to you much and I come off as a huge bitch. But I like you- or I think I could. You should let less people control your life though, speak up for yourself and do what you want. You let Alice push you around like a doll, and I don't like that. But me and you, we can be friends."

"I like you too, Rose. I'm actually kind of tired Alice pushing me around; I put up with it earlier just so I didn't hear her whine," I laughed. "And Charlotte is sketchy, I don't think I like her much."

"They're both unique personalities, that's for sure; they're hard to really get to know. But they mean well," we smiled at each other. "Come on, before Alice comes looking." Rose grabbed my arm and led me out of the bathroom and down the stairs. I'm really glad Rose and I broke through the ice keeping us from knowing each other. Rose could really be a close friend of mine.

We quickly helped Alice finish set up the party things. We set out chips, soda, and beers; Alice said we would keep the good liquor in the kitchen to hide from the 'peasants'. Rose and I stuck together, laughing at Alice's enthusiasm. About thirty minutes later, we sat on the bean bags that we threw into the living room to wait on the party comers. I know a lot of people would be coming; this party had been talk of the school since Tuesday. The whole school seemed excited for Alice's monthly throw down. According to Mike Newton, Alice's parties are legendary.

"People should start showing up soon," Alice huffed as she fell in a bean bag chair. "I don't know where the boys are though; they better not be fraternizing with James."

"Oh you know them they're probably drunk already," Rose let out a laugh. "Besides, they have Bella's older the brother, they're probably initiating him into their little bromance."

"Emmett's probably enjoying it, too," I laughed. "He loves dares and all that."

"Pre-game time, girls!" Charlotte busted through the kitchen door with a bottle of brown liquor in her hand. She opened the top and took a swig, then handed it to Alice who did the same. They both made slight faces as they swallowed. Alice handed the bottle to me and I was scared to take a drink. I looked around the group and they we're all looking at me expectedly; my eyes settled on Rose's and she winked at me. I winked back and tipped back the bottle taking a mouthful. This shit is gross! It burned my throat as I swallowed and I felt it burn down to my stomach. I started coughing and gagging.

"Oh my god, that's bitter," I coughed out.

"Nice shot, Bella. You took a gulp!" Rose patted my back and took the bottle from my hands. We sat in a circle and continued to pass around the bottle- I took smaller sips to get used to the taste. After the original gulp, the whiskey really wasn't too bad; I actually kind of like it. The warm liquid felt good warming up my insides.

"Honey, I'm home!" We heard yelled from the front door as it slammed open. I turned around to see Peter walk in with Emmett behind him.

"Peter Whitlock, where have you been?" Charlotte scolded him as he sat next to her.

"Aw baby, we were just having some fun. Huh, Em?" He fist bumped my brother and they laughed.

"Boys and their bonding," Alice shook her head. "Where's Jasper and Edward?"

"Right here," a honey voice spoke from behind me. I looked up to see Jasper. He looked as gorgeous as ever in jeans and a white t-shirt that hugged his arm muscles. I watched him as he walked over and dropped a brown paper bag in Alice's lap. The drugs. He turned towards me and took the bottle from my side before taking a gulp and walking away.

"He's in a bad mood," Edward explained coming in the room.

"More like on his period," my brother grumbled.

"Bella, you didn't tell me your brother is hot," Rose leaned in and whispered in my ear. I looked at her like she was insane.

"Because he's not," I shook my head at her.

"Oh yes he is. You don't mind if I.." She looked at me with a pleading look. Rosalie Hale wants to hook up with my brother! And wants my permission! I laughed in her face and shook my head.

"Go for it, Rose." She squealed in my ear and kissed my cheek. Seconds later, the doorbell rang.

"Alright everyone, party time! Get up and start the music." Alice jumped up and ran to answer the door. Slowly, we all stood up and Edward turned on the surround sound. The house filled with Classic Rock as people filled the living room. Rose took my hands and we immediately starting twirling and jumping around. For what seemed like hours, I danced all over the dance floor. I felt a whole lot more free than I had in a long time; thanks to the alcohol I continued to consume.

Eventually, Rose found me again and pulled me into the kitchen. Alice, Edward, Charlotte and Peter were already sitting around the table; Emmett followed us in and the three of us had a seat. I looked over to see Edward rolling up something green in brown paper. A blunt, I thought. I had seen them being passed from hand to hand in the halls back in Phoenix. I know what they are, but I have never smoked one.

Did I want to now? Well, shoot, I'm already drunk.

I looked to my brother as he grabbed the blunt from Edward's hands. "I do not condone this, Bella." He laughed and took a drag from it. Did my brother just smoke marijuana? Was this his first time?

How long has he been doing this?

I stared at my brother with my jaw no doubt touching the floor. I cannot believe he just smoked an illegal substance! It's already bad enough that we're both drunk underage but smoking marijuana? What would our dad think? He's the Chief of Police for crying out loud! I stood up from the table and just stared down at the group of people surrounding me. What had they done to my brother? What had they done to me? I would have never even taken a sip of alcohol before tonight- but I had. And here I am, watching my brother take a drag from a blunt and almost wanting to also.

"Bella, sit down and relax," Rose pulled on my sleeve. "Nothing is going to happen, it's fine."

"It's illegal, Rose," I yelled. "How long have you been smoking marijuana Em?" I looked towards my brother. Is this really happening?

"Bells, it's not bad, really. Mom and Dad did it at our age. It's a fuck-awesome drug. It'll slowdown that mind of yours," Emmett out the blunt in my hand. "Just try it, okay?"

"Don't be such a prude."

"Just smoke it."

"It's fun."

All their words of encouragement to smoke the drug clouded my mind. I don't want to smoke it- well I don't think I want to. It's illegal! I could get into so much trouble for this. Just live, Bella. I could hear my parent's words echo in my ears; they wanted me to live my life. To step out of my comfort zone and do something I wouldn't normally do. But this? Is this what they had in mind? Smoking a drug and drinking underage? A part of me knew that my mother she would want this; as weird as that sounds- she would. Mom is all for making mistakes and learning from them and experiencing the joys of the unknown. But could I do this? Am I okay with this? I don't know.

"I'll show you," Rose took the offending object from my fingers. I watched as she wrapped her mouth around the end between her two fingers. Her cheeks concaved a little as she pulled in smoke; after a few seconds, she pulled it from her lips and held her breath. A few seconds later, she blew out smoke towards my face. It smelled sweet almost- but still had a slight burnt smell towards it. "See, easy."

"Okay, I'll try. Just once," my composure crumbled. I took the rolled up marijuana from Rose and tried to mimic her actions. It burns! My eyes watered immediately and I coughed to get the offending smoke out of my lungs and system. I didn't want it trashing my body any longer. It is not good and I definitely don't see the appeal to smoking it. I never want to do that again. "That's gross, I don't like it. Never again." They all laughed at my confession.

"What the fuck, Alice?!" The door behind us slammed open. We all turned to see a very angry Jasper walk through. His eyes were bloodshot- most likely from alcohol and drugs- and they terrified me. I had never seen such raw anger in someone's eyes before. The fury behind them increased when his eyes met Alice's. "What the fuck are these?" He threw bottles towards Alice and they barely missed her, crashing around the kitchen. A few of them broke and pills scattered the floor. "You're so done takin' pills, huh? So fucking tired of hurtin' everyone else? Aw, pity me my boyfriend died last year and I can't get over it. Boo Hoo. Fuck you Alice, you don't know shit. You don't know how it feels to really hurt. I am fuckin' done with your pity party." He yelled out, terrifying everyone into a silence. No one moved, no one even dared to.

"Jasper, what the fuck were you doing in my room? That is my place and you have no business in there," She slapped her hand on the table. "Stay out of my shit and out of my business. You have no right. No right to bring up last year and no fucking right to say I don't know what it feels like to hurt. I do okay? I'm in a constant pain and I don't need you to throw my problems in my face!" It was obviously clear that Alice was trying to throw Jasper's wrong in his face to make herself feel better. She wouldn't face her wrongs in this.

"Oh, so continuin' to take pills and threaten your life every day is going to make everything just peachy, ain't it?" Jasper let out an emotionless, haunting laugh. "Continue to not give a fuck, Alice, go ahead. I'm done carin'. Just remember that every time you fill up your body with those fuckin' things that it could be your last. Remember how heart-broken Rose was when we found you in the bathtub covered in throw up? Remember how she cried and blamed it all on herself? Keep that in mind the next time you fill your system with little white pills. I know how they can numb you, but I also know how they can kill you. You're not only hurtin' yourself here, Alice. You're hurtin' your family- the only people who care. So keep on doin' it. I don't care anymore. Don't bother talkin' to me again while you throw your life away, I'm not watching it anymore." He turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.

What the hell?

"Fucking hell, Alice!" Rose screeched across the table. "Are you kidding me? We just talked about this three days ago. How could you?" Rose's face fell into a deep frown.

"Rose.." Alice's heartbroken voice sounded from across the table. "I.. I don't know what to do. I just… I want to quit hurting and I want to quit hurting my family." She sobbed out. Tears streamed down her face, soaking it. "I'm sorry, so sorry. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't."

"Are you telling the truth or are you trying to manipulate us? Because I swear to god," Charlotte warned.

"No, no, no. I'm telling the truth," Alice's head shook. "I want to quit, I do. Please, believe me."

What the hell? I can't sit here and watch this group- this family- fall apart. I quickly got up and left the kitchen; I quickly walked through the living room and sat on the stairs. The hallway was empty of people so I as left in solitude to help clear my mind. This whole night had been full with crazy fuckery. I don't like to cuss, but that clearly describes tonight. From the very beginning, at the football game and what Charlotte said, to me and Rose bonding over my hair, to Jasper blowing up on Alice. All of the crazy from tonight had my head hurting and the alcohol and marijuana wasn't helping at all. I shook my head to help clear the cloudiness that obscured it. This group has far more issues than I originally anticipated. I'm not sure if I want to know them anymore.

Yes you do.

Yes, I do. Tonight made that all more distinct. I want more now than anything to know them. I want to know everything. What had happened to Alice's boyfriend last year? What hurts Jasper so much? Why do they all feel this pain?

Why?

What?

When?

Who?

The demand to know them only increased. The demand to know their secrets increased. The demand to know it all increased. I couldn't live in the shadows any more. I didn't want to have to. I want to know all of their secrets not to hurt them- no, not at all- I want to help them. I want to help them get over their pain and their hurt. I really honestly do. No one should have to feel all that pain and hurt and hatred.

Here I go, trying to fix everything again.

I heard feet come towards me from the top of the stairs. I squished my body against the wall to let the person pass me and to avoid contact. Right above me they stopped and I saw boots out of the corner of my eye, I looked up and saw distressed jeans and a white shirt came into few. My eyes traveled up farther and I saw honey curl surrounded blue eyes look down at me. Jasper. His face was void of any emotion- it was almost scary. But for the first time that night- that week- I felt a sense of calm. He plopped down next to me and the scent of cigarette smoke and alcohol filled my senses. His blue eyes met my brown ones and I froze.

"Hey Bella," He slurred.