Everything That Glitters
Ella has only managed to pour two glasses of wine when the lock turns and the door pops open.
And it's Dashiell. Of course.
"Ellie!' he grins, coming for her with his arms wide open. Shannon is slipping in behind him, but Ella's got two full glasses in her hands and she accepts the embrace, her brother's wide shoulders dwarfing her.
"Dad. You've already driven her to drink," Dash calls back, half turning with an arm around her shoulders towards their father.
"Not me," he defends, standing up and drawing Shannon into the living room with a hug. "I'm sure it's your mother's fault."
"Ellery and I are cool," her mom says, shaking her head and handing Dash a glass. "Here, serve Shan."
"Shan, you want more wine?"
"No, I'm done. I've got a shift tomorrow," Shannon waves it off and sits down on the couch with their dad, sits close. They must be. . .close, Ella realizes.
"Here, Mom, it's all yours. Another glass will make me crazy," Dash laughs again, handing it back to their mother and tugging Ellery into the living room with him.
Ella hands a glass to Dad and then over to Nick, who lifts it in toast with her father before taking a small sip. Dashiell squeezes her neck and gives Ella a wide grin, the thick dark hair flopping in his eyes, the sharp line of his jaw that makes him look like a model. The lashes, the cheekbones - he got all of her mother's classic looks, while Ellery got her father's rounder face, her father's eyes.
Well, she has her mother's figure, there is that. She works hard to maintain the physicality she needs for the job - the endurance and upper body strength - but the rest of it comes naturally.
For a moment, Ellery and Dashiell stand in the middle of the living room like the hub of a wheel of family and their eyes meet on a smile that is both relieved and right.
Ella's back where she belongs, and he's missed her, and she can read all of that in his look. Her big brother.
She turns to his girlfriend sitting on the couch, that long hair in loose, dark curls, the way she's fit right in to their family and stabilized her brother and somehow called Ella back to it as well. "Shannon," she says with a soft smile, moving to sit down in the tight space of the armchair with Nick. "Thanks for calling and convincing me."
"Shannon called you?" It's both Dashiell and her father who blurt out the question, and she realizes too late that she wasn't supposed to say anything.
"Yeah," she admits, shrugging. "You've got an awesome girlfriend."
Dash is still standing in the middle of the room, like he always is, unable to sit, but he gives Shannon a look that's rather electric, makes Ella shift in her seat because everyone can see it, but they all must be used to it because not even Shannon looks embarrassed - in fact, Shannon is giving him a more tender version of the same adoration.
Jeez, if that's what being in love is supposed to look like, no wonder Nick has no idea how she feels. She never looks at him like that. At least. . .not in public. Not where he can see it either. It's mortifying to love someone that much and not have any control over it.
But Nick's fingers are at her waist, a slow stroke across her spine, and she turns and gives him a hesitant glance. He's just smiling at her, a little softer than usual maybe, and it looks like an acceptance of an apology she hasn't given.
"Well, Match Day this weekend," Dash says with a tight sigh, his face tense with it. "And then we'll know."
Nick shifts at her side and his palm broadens at her back, and it's more touching, more possessiveness from him than Ellery has ever seen. "Dash, I'm Nick," he says and leans forward.
They shake and her father sighs. "Sorry. I got caught up. Nick, this is Shannon and Dashiell. Ella's brother tends to make us all screech to a halt."
"Like Dad, I can be demanding. Ask Ellery," he grins. "She never got a word in - I was always talking."
"I can see that," Nick says dryly, and while Dash and her father share looks, her mother actually laughs, moving towards the couch with her own wine and shooing Dashiell ahead of her. Ellery didn't realize until now that her mother wasn't with everyone in the circle.
Does her mom do that often? It feels like something Ellery would do - stand on the edges and observe.
"Sit, wild man," their mom orders, patting his chest as she moves to the other armchair. "You're standing in the middle of the room again."
"Oh, right," Dash grins and sits next to his father, crossing his foot at his knee and his leg already jiggling. Her brother's always been like this, on the go, and she has no clue how he managed to sit still long enough to take the MCATs.
"So, Dashiell, what kind of medicine are you thinking of getting into?" Nick asks, smoothing the way again.
Ella leans against the arm of the chair to prop herself up, watches her brother practically morph right in front of her. Some of Shannon's seriousness must have rubbed off on him, some of her reserve, because he goes still and gives Nick an intense look.
"I'm headed for pediatric surgery. Still trying to decide if I want to specialize in neurology or oncology. It's a toss up right now, God knows, and wherever I'm matched - that's it for me. It'll be a sign."
"Wow," Ella blurts out, whipping her head over to their mom, reading her first before looking at her brother again. "Dash. Pediatric oncology?"
"Yeah," he grins, and the look he shares is with Shannon, and it surprises her. It shouldn't but it does. "Neurology has always been the thing - ever since I can remember - mostly because I'm fascinated with how my weird brain works. But I'm leaning towards oncology even though it's rough. Big turnover. Burnout. And I'm not sure I'm the right. . .temperament for it."
"Dash, with kids," their mom interrupts, "they need that energy. Someone who will invigorate them again. Not a bunch of somber faces who speak quietly and don't even look at them. Inject some joy into their lives. Hope, baby."
Ellery takes a deep breath, adjusting to the thought of her big brother dealing with cancer kids all day, and wanting to do it. Still it's much more noble a career than a stunt woman, so who is she to judge?
"You should do it," she says quietly. "You could make it work for you. Being wild."
"Being wild," he gives a little sarcastic tilt to his mouth as he says it, "has never hurt me. You guys made it seem like a good thing."
"It is a good thing," Ellery says heatedly, sitting up straighter as she glares at her brother. "Stop acting like it's something you don't want. You're a thousand times better than anyone else could even hope to be-"
"Ellery, sweetheart," her father says quietly.
She stops, realizes her hands are in fists, that Nick has leaned forward and his palm is at her back, soothing, but this is it. This is all of it, and if she doesn't say it now, it won't get said. She's tired of not saying things.
"Dash," she starts, hating herself for the way her voice cracks. "Dash, you've always been everything I wanted to be. Everyone loves you and you love everyone back, and we all can see it. We all know. And I don't know how to do that or be as - as - as awesome as you are at loving things and enjoying it and. . ."
Her mother has half-risen from the other armchair, that anxious look on her face that she always had whenever Ellery threw a fit as a teenager, but this time she doesn't want her mom stepping in between her and life, shielding her, dragging her to a quiet corner to let her fall apart or help her put herself back together. She just wants to say it.
"I wished a thousand times I could more like you," she gets out finally. "But I'm not."
"No, Cricket," her father says into the silence. "You're like your mom. Extraordinary."
She breathes hard, staring at her dad, and then her mother is there, brushing her fingers through Ellery's hair, ruffling it, and bending down to kiss her forehead.
"That was beautiful, Ella. All the right words."
She lifts her face, feels her heart twist at the look in her mom's eyes. "I didn't mean I don't-"
But her mom laughs and taps two fingers against her cheek. "Oh, baby girl. How many times did I wish I was more like your dad? How many times have I thought it's my fault that you struggle so much with life? But Dad is right. That's what makes you amazing."
And then her mother moves past her and into the kitchen, taking her almost-full glass of wine with her, calling back over her shoulder.
"Who wants ice cream? Dashiell, I know you do. And Rick - no more for you."
"What are you doing, hon?" Nick says quietly to her, taking the bowl of ice cream. They're alone in the kitchen; her mother must have sneaked out while Ellery wasn't looking just so that Nick could corner her.
"What do you mean?"
"What's all this with your family?"
"Nothing," she mutters, shrugging her shoulders. She can't right now. She just can't.
He's never pushed, and he doesn't now. His mouth comes to hers briefly, his taste like wine and sugar, and she's both grateful and not.
She's always liked that they're practically the same height, that she's been able to hold her own with him, but sometimes she needs someone to make her. That's never been Nick.
Maybe they aren't-
"Later," he says suddenly, nodding to her and lifting an eyebrow as he walks back to the living room.
Later.
He's never done that before.
Ella stares after Nick as he takes his place in the armchair once more, giving her brother one of his usual crooked smiles and then softening a little under her mother's hand on his arm as she passes.
Ellery takes a deeper breath and returns to serving ice cream, scooping mocha and mint and blueberry - gross, Dad - into her father's bowl and sticking a spoon in it. She convinced her mom to let him have another bowl since he ate the sugar-free stuff earlier. Her mother - someone Ellery never expected to relent - actually went all mushy and hugged her and said she was a good girl.
And then told her to go ahead and dish up some for her father.
She carries the last bowl over to the living room, her own in Nick's other hand as he waits for her, and Ellery presents the ice cream to her dad, watches him grin.
"Thank you, Cricket. Going to bat for me. Come sit. Leave the boy."
She rolls her eyes, but Dashiell and Shannon are already hopping up and moving around, everyone shuffling places, and Ella can't help the thrill that zips through her at sitting close to him.
So she does, her dad nestling her beside him, his kiss against her forehead, his fingers cold on her arm. Nick gets up and hands over her ice cream.
"There. Much better," her father murmurs. Mom has come to sit on the other side of her, so she's sandwiched between them, and Nick is giving her this look like she's right where he wants her to be, like he approves, whatever that means.
"Hey, did anyone message Rafe or Allie?" Dash says from the coffee table where he's perched. He twists back to their parents, grabs their mother's knee. "Hey. Did you talk to Rafe?"
"No, why?"
"Well, it's a family reunion, of course. I'm calling him."
"Call Sophie too," Ellery adds in a burst of feeling. "Oh, wait, never mind. She's in college. She probably won't come."
"What do you mean, oh wait," Dash snorts. "I tell her you're here and she'll drop everything."
"For me?"
"Her Hollywood star aunt?"
"Aunt?" Nick says, raising an eyebrow to her.
Ellery winces. There is just. . .oh, so very much she hasn't managed to explain. "Oh, yeah, sorry. I guess I never explained?"
"Uh, not exactly. I've heard about Sophie but. . .Allie is your older sister? I thought she was a cousin or something."
"She's our sister. Daddy's first."
"Speaking of," her mother interrupts. "How's Meredith?"
Ella groans and shakes her head, cradling her ice cream against her chest. "She is not happy with me. Since I moved in with Nick, all I hear about is how I should be taking the work more seriously, how I've been using her this whole time and - it's impossible. Tell them Nick. She calls like every day."
"Wait. Wait." Nick is holding up both hands and his gaze is like an arrow on her. "Are you - you mean Meredith is. . ." He trails off and his eyes shift to her father.
"Dad's first wife," Ellery says.
Nick's mouth actually drops open and he shoots a quick look to Kate which Ellery finds herself in love with him for, that check to make sure her mother is okay with this conversation. Why does that make her heart pound so hard for him?
"I'm his third, Nick," her mother laughs.
"And last. That should count for something." Dad grumbles something about his past sins being held against him and tries to poke Mom over Ellery's shoulder, but Dash is suddenly laughing over his phone.
"Allie and Rafe and the girls are all coming," he shouts, jumping up. "Sophie actually squealed; I swear. Family reunion in progress." He turns to Nick then and flashes that charming smile that Ellery used to hate him for, and adore him as well. "Mom's been - well - Mom to everyone. Meredith is Allie's mother but, jeez Ellie, I don't know how you did it for as long as you did. Living with her."
"Me either," her father shivers. "Or why you would do it."
"Free room and board in LA. And she's mellowed."
Her mother turns and gives her a raised eyebrow which cracks Ellery open with a laugh, shaking her head.
"Okay, maybe mellow isn't the word. But. . .you know exactly what you're getting with Aunt Mere. And I needed that for a while."
"Oh, see, that's why I can't keep your family straight," Nick says, pointing his spoon at her. "You call her Aunt Meredith and so I thought Allie was a cousin. You're confusing me on purpose."
"Not on purpose," she laughs back. "And that was Meredith's idea. She said we were family-"
"She did not," her father gapes.
"-and that I should call her Aunt, and she took me shopping every weekend-"
"All right, now I see why you moved in with me. You hate to shop. Unless it's shoes." Nick is giving her that slow smile of his, the one that says he knows her oh so very well, and he flicks a finger in her direction that says everything else.
She presses her lips together to keep from smiling back, but she knows it's twisting her mouth anyway.
"Ew," her brother complains. "Stop making eyes at each other. Come on."
"Whatever," Ellery leans forward, kicking at him with her bare foot. "You and Shan were just doing it."
"Ellery!" he gasps, eyes widening so round and dramatic. "Even if we were, that's not something you just blurt out in front of our parents."
Ella groans and flops back into the couch even as her father bursts with laughter, leaning forward to high-five Dash for that one.