B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B ~ Bleeding Pain And A Soothing Medal ~ B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B B&B
Why did I never tell him how much I love him? I have to tell him, I have to show him how much I do care for him. Yes, I'm going to tell him when they tell me I can go see him. This is what Temperance Brennan was thinking while she was waiting in the hospital waiting room; waiting for news that her Booth was alright. She was seated in one of those uncomfortable blue chairs, on her left was Angela holding her hand. To her right was Cam her boss, looking even more worried then she had ever seen. Next to Angela was Hodgins holding onto her other hand rubbing small circles. She got lost in those circles till she heard someone come and stop in front of her.
"Family of Seeley Booth?" The Dr. asked looking down at Temperance. She could feel Angela gripping her hand tighter. Without hesitation she answered without correcting.
"Yes." She looked up to the doctor only to see a apologetic look in his eyes.
"Sorry, we did everything we could but Agent Booth didn't make it. I'm so sorry for your loss." Brennan found her lungs struggling for breath. The doctor handed her something. It was a plastic bag. A bag that looked all too familiar to her. It was one of those bags where she put in evidence when she and Booth would go out to a crime scene. Everything was spinning and Temperance couldn't concentrate on anything that was going on around her. She could hear Angela sob in Hodgins' shoulder who was trying to sooth her. She saw Cam fall back in her chair head in her hands. But she wasn't concentrating on them; she was concentrating on the bag the doctor gave to her. She opened it and a golden necklace fell out with a small medal on it. 'It's a medal Bones, Pops gave it to me when he took me and Jared away from my dad. He said it would bring me luck one day.' She remembered the story Booth told her about his Saint Christopher medal. She grabbed the medal tightly in her hand. 'Hand' she thought, her hands were still bloody from where she pressed against Booths shoulder where he was hit by the bullet. She heard murmuring, a voice calling to her but she couldn't make out what it said. The only thing she could concentrate on was his medal. Slowly she sank to her knees and starting crying heavily. She noticed slightly that Angela fell down with her and was now hugging her, but her mind was still on the medal and the words the doctor had just said. 'Agent Booth didn't make it. I'm sorry for you loss.'
Temperance was not aware of how she got to her apartment but she was there, so were Angela, Hodgins, Cam, Zach and Sweets. Without thinking her feet dragged her to her bedroom and to her unsuit. She only realised that Angela had followed when she called to her. "Sweetie, maybe you should take a shower. Wash your hands get rid of the blood on it." A very concerned Angela told her. She could see her friend, heard the words, but wasn't absorbing anything. It was like she was in a catatonic state. Angela slowly walked over to Tempe, when she laid a hand on her shoulder she lost it. She sank to the floor crying heavily, trying to get some air into her lungs.
"He's... Boo... Booth is... he's...gone." She sobbed to Angela who was hugging her tightly.
"Shh... I know sweetie, I'm so sorry..." Angela was crying now too, slowly she stood up helping a trembling Tempe. They walked over to the bathroom and Angela helped removing Tempe clothes. She turned on the shower and helped her under the spray. She noticed Brennan was clutching something in her hand and moved to see what it was. As soon as she had her fist in her hand she pulled it away but Angela wasn't giving up she pried Brennan's hand open against her friends sobs and weak protests.
"No, please... No, no... please." When she saw what was in her hand she gasped, she slowly took the necklace out of her friend's hand which only made Brennan cry harder. It was like a brick landed on her heart she had nothing to hold on to, that was all she had of Booth. But soon she found herself sighing in relief when Angela clasped the necklace around her neck and the medal fell between her breasts. She lightly touched the medal and sank down to the floor of the shower. She could see the water washing away the blood on her hands and disappear into the drain.
Angela heard her friend's crying grow louder and heavier and decided to help her friend. She walked out of the bathroom through the bedroom and into the living room where everyone was seated talking quietly about how great a man Seeley Booth was. Hodgins stood up seeing his fiancé walk in the room. "Hej Ange, how is Dr. B doing?" Moving to hug her he saw the pain in her eyes.
"She's in the shower but she's not doing so well." Her voice was a mere whisper and Hodgins was the only one who heard her. "I'm going to stay with her tonight Jack." She kissed his cheek and walked back into the bathroom were her friend was still crying in the shower. Without thinking Angela removed her clothing and stepped into the shower in her bra and panties; enveloping her friend in a hug.
Time was a blur to Brennan, she sat in the shower for god knows how long clutching Booth's medal before she felt Angela stepping in and hugging her tightly. Then she found herself being washed with soft hands, getting rid of all the blood on her hands and arms. Angela carefully washed her friend's hair and helped her step out of the shower and dried her off. When they walked back into the bedroom Angela went in search for something to wear and to put Brennan in. She walked over to Brennan's draws and found two pair of pyjama pants when she spotted a t-shirt; she pulled it out and saw FBI written on it. Thinking this might help her friend she grabbed it and walked over to Brennan who had managed to get into a clean pair of panties. When she saw Angela walking towards her with Booth's shirt she nearly ripped it out of her hands and held it to her face, smelling Booth's familiar scent. Brennan crawled with the shirt clutched to her face back on the bed and rested her head on her pillow. Angela knew her friend wasn't going to respond to anything she was going to say so she grabbed the pair of pants and put them on her friend.
Walking into the living room to check if the door was locked she saw something that made her smile wide and think that this is what family is about. One of them had managed to grab a pile of blankets and pillows and were all sprawled in the living room. Hodgins and Zack were on Brennan's big couch and Cam was laying on one of Brennan's recliner chairs. Checking the lock she walked over to Hodgins and kissed his cheek which woke him up. "I'm going to sleep with Brennan okay. She's not doing so great so..." Hodgins cut her off and wiped away the tears that spilled over his fiancé's cheek.
"Its okay babe go, comfort her; Zach and I are going to the store tomorrow morning to grab some breakfast so we'll take care of that you just go and take care of her." Angela bent down and kissed him softly.
"Alright thanks babe. Love you." She started to walk away when she heard Hodgins saw 'I love you too' she winked at him and gave him a small smile. When she got into Brennan's bedroom she could see her friend had put on Booth shirt and was sobbing quietly with her nose buried in the shirt and clutching his medal in her hand again. She walked over to the other side of the bed and crawled in hugging Brennan from behind and whispering soothing words in her ear. She soon found her friends breathing calming down and her breathing getting even. When she looked over she saw her eyes were closed and she was sleeping hopefully peacefully. Angela didn't know how long she had been asleep for when she woke up to someone whispering. When she turned around to look at her friend she could see Hodgins sitting on the bed with a sobbing and hyperventilating Brennan hugged to his chest. When Jack saw that Angela was awake he explained how he heard Dr. B crying and calling out to Booth.
"I came in here and you were sleeping like a log. When I woke her up she nearly jumped in my arms and I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to calm her down but her breathing won't return to normal and every time I try to get her to lay down she clutches herself to me."
Angela moved over to where Hodgins was sitting with Brennan. "Sweetie?" As soon as Brennan heard her friend's voice she let go of Hodgins and threw herself at Angela sobbing heavily. Angela lay back down on her back and pulled Brennan in her arms hugging her tightly soothing her.
"I... I... I want... Booth." She sobbed clutching Angela tightly.
"I know honey. Shhh... You're going to be alright honey." She looked over at Hodgins with tears in her eyes. When he saw the pain in her eyes and moved over to her side and lay down next to her. He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers. Soon time found them all three deeply asleep.
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It was a week later when Angela found Brennan in bed yet again. Brennan had been quiet the whole week, hardly talking to either of them. She lost allot of weight and she had dark circles under her eyes. She had spent every day laying in bed not eating or drinking enough. Only getting out of bed when she had to go to the bathroom or take a shower and it was worrying Angela so much she didn't know what to do anymore. Angela would stay with her every night because the nights still found Brennan waking up crying and screaming for Booth. Angela walked up to Tempe and gently raised her from her sleep. "Sweetie, come on you need to eat something. This, the way you're dealing with this is not good honey. You need to start taking care of yourself." She was worried about her friend and she didn't know how to make it better.
"I'm not hungry Ange." Tempe's voice sounded hoarse because of all the crying she did, day in day out. It saddened Angela to see her in so much pain.
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across town in a hidden safe house.
"Sir please I need to get out of here." The man in the bed told his boss.
"You can't, this is a military situation and you are to stay here till this matter has been dealt with."
"But sir, you promised me that the people on my list would be told about this situation." At his statement his boss nodded his head in agreement. "Then tell me this sir, why it is that Dr. Brennan has no clue that I'm still alive? Why has she refused you to talk to her or to work with the FBI ever again? She doesn't know! And you told me every single person on that list would have been told. Sir Dr. Brennan WAS ON TOP OF THAT LIST!"
"I understand Agent Booth. It seems that Dr. Sweets hasn't informed her for his own personnel manner into researching the both of you. I have spoken to him about this and he has agreed to tell Dr. Brennan the matter of this issue as soon as she wants to talk to him." Cullen told Booth calmly.
"That is not good enough sir." I'm going to kill that nimrod of a kid. He in flicks this much pain on my Bones he is going to pay for it. "Dammit I need to see her; I need to be the one to tell her she needs to see me to be able to know that I'm still alive. And if she is in any way as angry as I am; she will not have Sweets leave in one piece!" Booth was so angry at Sweets that he was seeing red. He couldn't believe that little shit did this for his own personnel gain.
When he saw that his boss wasn't affected by anything Booth was saying he took action himself. He climbed out of bed wincing at the stabbing pain in his shoulder and pulled on sweats and a shirt. "Sir no disrespect but if you are just going to sit there and not let me leave this building I'm going to go on my own I don't care how I get there but I NEED to see Bones." With that he walked to the door until he heard his boss call him back. "Frankly sir I really don't care what you've got to say I'm going and that's it I'm not changing my mind."
Cullen who had been thinking how much this man must love Dr. Brennan looked at how he climbed out of bed, put on his clothes and walked towards the door. He thought he would do the same thing if he ever was in this situation and he couldn't deny the agent any longer. "You just get to her and tell her how sorry I am to have caused her this much pain. I'll deal with Sweets later." Cullen padded Booth on the shoulder and opened the door for him. Booth looked back with questioning eyes not believing he was actually letting him go. Cullen handed him his keys to his SUV, with a final nod from Cullen he ran down the stairs and to his car and went on his way to his Bones.
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back at Brennan's apartment.
"Okay sweetie, please can you please go and take a shower or a bath you've been in that bed for a week you can use a nice hot bath." She opened up the curtains to let in some light into the room which caused Brennan to duck back under her sheets. Angela noticed this and walked over to her sitting on the edge of the bed. "Sweetie, I know how much pain you're in. I miss him too but you need to move on sweetie, he's not coming back." She had tears in her eyes and when she put a hand on her friends shoulder, she felt how badly her friend was shaking. When she pulled back the blankets she could hear Tempe's sobs doubling. Her cheeks were stained from the tears and her eyes were red from crying.
"I... I want... Booth." Tempe cried harder. "I ne... need... him Ange... I... need him." The whole bed was shaking with the sobs that took over her body and Angela couldn't contain her own tears any longer. Laying down next to her friend she wrapped her arms around her and whispered soothing words in her ear; rubbing her hands up and down her arms trying to calm her down. It was nearly an hour later when Angela got Brennan to calm down and into the shower. She was busy in the kitchen when she heard the lock turning. Thinking it was Jack she moved to the living room and waited for him to come in. The sight that greeted her was not what she expected. Standing there in front of her was a very much alive Booth. Looking at him with wide eyes and her mouth open tears sprang to her eyes as happiness filled her body. Walking slowly to where he was standing she lifted her hands and touched his shoulders not believing he was here.
"Ange..." He got out but what happened next wasn't what he expected. Angela had slapped him flat handed across his cheek a red angry mark of a small hand appearing on his left side. Angela felt anger rising in her body and couldn't control what she did.
"Do you have any... ANY idea how much pain you've caused? I don't care what you had to do but you broke her heart Booth. And I can't let you do that to her." Her hands became fists and she hit him in his chest over and over again not noticing his wincing through all her anger. When she looked up in his eyes she could see the tears threatening to spill over. She could see how much pain he had been in not knowing how his Bones was doing. And how much he hated that she thought he was dead.
"Ange I'm so, so, so sorry. Sweets he was suppose to tell Bones I wasn't really dead. It was a military issue and they had to fake my dead but that dick of a kid didn't tell her for his own personnel gain to study us... to study her how she would react. You have no idea how much I want to kill that kid but I had to see her. I have to tell her how much I love her because this... what happened here... it made me see how soon life can end and I don't want to spend any minute away from her anymore please Ange. I couldn't stand to be away from her and to be informed by Cullen how badly she was doing I... I don..." He broke down, right in front of her. The one man she thought was the strongest man on earth broke down because of this. She could see how much he really loved Brennan. She knelt down in front of him and helped him stand back up.
"Shh Booth... I know... you have no idea how hard this had been for her... but she needs to tell you... I can't tell you what happened you need to talk to her and explain..." They had walked over to the couch and sat down when they heard a door open and footsteps coming. That's when he heard her, he could hear how hoarse her voice was and how tired she sounded and all the emotion that flooded through her voice.
"Ange?" When she came to the living could he see how much this affected her. His Bones had lost allot of weight she looked very weak and had dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept in days. What happened next he couldn't believe.
When Brennan saw Booth she collapsed onto the floor crying, she curled up into foetal position and cried her heart out. Angela got up almost immediately got pulled back down by Booth. "Let me please." She nodded and Booth made his way over to where Brennan lay curled up on the floor. "Bones?" His voice was soft and filled with worry how his Bones, the person who always told him she could compartmentalize was now curled up on the floor crying so badly it shook his entire being and he mentally cursed himself for causing this much pain. Softly he laid a hand on her shoulder, which caused her to tense only a second before she jumped up of the floor still crying, walking in high speeds to Angela and there she threw herself on her friends lap. Curling herself around her like a baby would in search of their mothers comfort and warmth. Angela immediately threw her arms around her friend and rocked her back and forth soothing her, trying to get her to calm down. Booth who had been looking at how Bones throw herself in Angela arms had tears running down his cheeks. He caused all this pain and it made him hate himself even more. It made him hate Sweets more to the point where he wanted to kill the little brat and curse the day he was born. He stood there frozen to the spot, arms hanging by his side like there were millions of tons of bricks hanging down them.
Brennan's crying had subsided to quiet sobs and when she spoke her voice was a mere whisper. "Why... does... He taunt... mm..me ... like this Ange?" Angela lifted her hand towards Tempe's face and lifted it from where it rested on her shoulder.
"What do you mean Temper? Who's taunting you?" Her eyes spoke of concern and love and Temperance curled back into her.
"Go- God... everywhere... I... I ... look... I see him... I see Booth like he is sti... still here." Her voice cracked with emotion and pain.
"Sweetie what do you mean?" Softly running her hands through Tempe's, Brennan took a deep breath and explained how she had been seeing Booth everywhere she looked and that she saw him again, standing in her living room. "Sweetie... please look at me..." Booth who had been looking with his mouth open slowly made his was over to where they were sitting on the couch. Brennan had seen him and she now thought he wasn't real? How could he be so stupid to think she could handle this? She was an emotional wreck and all that was caused by him. "Booth is here sweetie, you're not imagining him or seeing things. He is really here." The moment she said that Booth laid a hand on Brennan's shoulder and he mentally slapped himself when she cringed away and started sobbing heavily.
"No- no... Booth... he- h... he's... d..d...dead... he's not here." She spoke this over and over again crying and sobbing into her friends shoulder. Booth had tears streaming down his face and when he looked at Angela she wasn't in a much better state then he was. He had enough of the pain his Bones was going through and decided to take action. He raised his hand and laid it on Angela's shoulder indicating he was going to take Bones from her lap. When she nodded her head in agreement Booth slowly stood up and moved his hands and arm under Bones' legs and shoulders and lifted her in his arms.
Brennan hardly felt that she was being moved but as soon as his sent hit her, her crying reduced to quiet sobs. She threw her arms around his neck and curled her head into the crook of his neck. Booth indicated to Angela he was going to go into her bedroom and she nodded her hand telling him she was going to leave and if he needed anything to just give her a call and she would be here within ten minutes. Booth slowly made his way towards Brennan's bedroom quietly whispering in her ear that he was here and he was never going to leave her side again. He could feel her relaxing into his arms until he wanted to put her on her bed then she tensed again sobbing again.
"No... please... Booth... don't let me go... please...please...please...don't let go...please...please." Booth's heart was breaking at seeing her like this.
"I'm no letting you go Bones; I'm never letting you go again." As to prove his point he climbed onto the bed with Bones in his arms and lay down with her laying on his chest. He tenderly kissed her head over and over again till her could hear her breathing even out.
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The next morning Bones woke up and thought that last night was all a dream and started crying again her sobs made her body shake violently and this woke Booth up. As soon as he heard his Bones cry he turned around and hugged her tightly against his chest. He could feel her tense up and he let go and moved her on to her side so she could see he was really there. But the moment she looked at him she jumped out of the bed and cringed down in the corner. "No... please... no no no... ANGE..." She was shaking so badly it brought tears to his eyes and her screaming for Angela he didn't know what to do. He heard footsteps running to the room and seconds later Hodgins burst through the door. What he saw shocked him Dr. B cringed in the corner crying violently and Booth sitting on the bed with his head in his hands and also crying. He couldn't believe it he was really there, Angela had told him last night about what happened and wanted to check up on his friend before going to work. He quickly made his was to where Brennan was sobbing and placed his hands on her shoulders. Brennan looked up and when she saw it was Hodgins she threw herself in his arms, it wasn't Angela but he was second best to her now. Booth looked on with shocked eyes. Hodgins carefully placed Brennan in his lap and rocked her whispering soothing words in her ear. Booth couldn't believe it, he knew Brennan and Hodgins got closer since they were locked in that car by the Gravedigger but seeing how she threw herself at him it made him cry even harder. Knowing how much pain he caused he really didn't know what to do.
Hodgins stood up with a sobbing Dr. B in his arms; she had lost so much weight she weighed like a feather now. He carried her over to the bed and sat with his back against the headboard still soothing her. He looked at Booth and gave him such a death glare; Booth thought if looks could kill he would have been dead now 'again'. "I like you man I really do but at this moment the only thing I want to do is beat the shit out of you. Brennan is Angie best friend which make her my best friend too and I would do anything for her and if that means beating the man she loves I will do that because the pain she had been through in the last week has been unbearable for any of us." Hodgins whispered but with anger in his voice.
"I know Hodgins, and seriously if I hadn't Bones to think about now I would gladly let you kill me but I can't leave her. I need to make her see how sorry I am. I never wanted anything like this to happen I put her on top of my list and she was the first person to know. She was freaking the first person to know I didn't even think about Parker but I put her on the list first because I love her so much I didn't want this to happen." Booth had tears in his eyes and when he looked at Bones and Hodgins he could see that Bones had turned her head. She had heard his voice, she had heard Hodgins talk to someone and when she turned her head she saw it was Booth, it wasn't a dream everything that happened last night wasn't a dream it was real Booth was here, ALIVE.
She was clutching something in her hand and Booth saw this, he could see it was a long necklace but couldn't see what she was holding in her hand until she let go of it and moved her hand towards him. There it was, his Saint Christopher Medal around Bones' neck. 'no better place it could be but with her.' Booth thought. The moment Bones' hand touched his she jumped out of Hodgins arms and into Booth's. Both Booth and Hodgins were shocked. It was half hour later and Bones was still in Booth's arms and Hodgins stood up from the bed. "I'm going to go if something like this happens again call Ange if you can't get to her call me or Zach we've been there for her through everything and we all can quiet her down so please call one of us we love her as much as you do."
"No offense Hodgins, but I think I love her more than anyone in this world does." Hodgins nodded his head in understanding and made her way out of the room. Booth heard the door shut and he turned to Bones. "Hej Bones, you with me again? Please babe talk to me. I'm so sorry I never meant for you to have this much pain I thought you could compartmentalize but look at you. You don't look like you Bones please babe talk to me."
"Booth... I... I... " She broke down again she didn't know what to think she loved him so much and now he was here again and she didn't know what to do. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her nose into the crock of his neck she inhaled deeply smelling his unique smell and looked up into his warm reassuring brown eyes. They both mirrored each other's eyes; there was pain, desire, love and tears. "I didn't know what to do... B... Booth. When you were gone, I thought I would die from the pain." Booth wiped away the tears that fell onto her cheeks and touched his forehead against hers.
"I'm so sorry Bones; you were on top of the list you were the first one that was supposed to know that I wasn't dead. It was a military issue and I couldn't do anything, I only found out yesterday that you weren't told and I walked out of that safe house to get to you I had to tell you myself. It was Sweets who did this; he wanted to see how you would react to my death." The glare she gave told him that she was going to kill Sweets the next time she saw him, that little nimrod had seen how much his death affected her and he still didn't say anything she was going to kill him. "Please Bones don't do anything, Cullen is going to take care of him just don't do anything please."
"Booth how can you ask me that, don't you know how much it hurt me to think you were dead? Look at me Booth, I haven't eaten anything I hardly slept and I cried myself to sleep since I found out about your 'death'. How can you ask me not to do anything to that little rat?"
"Because Bones, if you kill him you're going to jail and I can't lose you. I love you Bones so much it hurts when I'm away from you. Please let Cullen take care of him, just please I can't lose you again please, please promise me that you won't do anything."
"Why would you assume I would get caught?"
"I don't, but I don't want you to have to do something because of something that I'm partly to blame for." Booth was pleading with her now and she gave in.
"Okay I promise I won't kill Sweets." She leaned into him and soon fell back to sleep, for the first time since that week she slept soundly without any dreams and safe in Booth's arms.
-Two weeks later-Bones was sitting on her couch when Booth walked through her door. "Hi Bones I've got some amazing news." He walked over to her and kissed her and sat down next to her. Bones looked up from the book she was reading and nodded her head for him to continue. "Okay, so Sweets is fired from the FBI and it highly unlikely that he will ever get another job." Bones never had a bigger smile on her face then now. She jumped up and sat down on his lap and hugged him tightly.
"Thank God. He doesn't deserve anything but what he did deserves he got." Booth kissed her temple and hugged her tightly again. He and Bones had been inseparable since she found out he wasn't dead and all the trouble that came with it the next day. Sure she still had nightmare that he was shot but when she opened her eyes he was always there, they knew that they would never be able to sleep alone again; so Booth sold his apartment and moved in with Bones. They had never felt safer and more loved then now, they did everything together. They had yet to make love but they both decided to wait until she was ready. Bones still sometimes had her doubts but she knew Booth was really trying and she could see it in his actions and everything he did for her. Bones finished the paperwork she had on her desk and they went home. She looked at Booth when they walked into the living room and slowly began unbuttoning her blouse. Booth was looking at her with desire in his eyes. When she pulled off her blouse she could hear Booth growl.
"Bones are you sure?"
She slowly walked over to him and unclasped her bra. "As sure as I'll ever be." She leaned into him and whispered into his ear. "Make love to me Booth." When he pulled back he saw all the security he needed in her eyes and he lifted her up bridal style and walked into their bedroom shutting the door with his foot. They made slow love that night for several times and only went to sleep at three in the morning. They were so happy nothing could break that. Bones was still wearing his medal because that was where it belonged Booth had told her when she went to give it back to him. So she kept it around her neck, it soothed her in the times that they weren't together. She always said even though he isn't here in person he is always her through her/his medal around her neck securely resting between her breasts.
It was truly amazing how soothing medals could be.
'Nothing happens unless first a dream'
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