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Last time on Total Drama Harem,
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Find out right now on… TOTAL…DRAMA…HAREM!
Opening Song
Dear Sensei and Father I'm Doing Fine
You Guys Are About To Find
Out What I Wanted To Be
You'd Have To Be Idiotic Not To See
I Want To Be With Touma…
The Other Girls Better Run
So, Pack Your Crap I've Already Won
Nothing to Prove, You're Just In My Way
I'll Reach There One Day
Cause I Want To Be With Touma
Nanana nanaana nana nana
I Want To Be, I Want To Be; I Want To Be With Touma…
I Want To Be, I Want To Be; I Want To Be With Touma…
'Tsuchimikado whistles to theme'
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"Tsuchimikado, you do know that the Aogami kid isn't the one who was really sending those death threats to Kamijou right?" Stiyl said through the phone.
"Yeah yeah I know. Well he DID send death threats but there were obviously no traces of magic on them. The group after Kami-yan and his faction are still out there." Tsuchimikado commented seriously.
"You better be prepared. I have an idea of who it is but I'll keep that a secret. I don't want to say anything that I'm not conclusively sure of." Stiyl said.
"Hey man, you do you. We're doing fine here and considering the powerhouses we have on this island, we'll be fine." Tsuchimikado said confidently.
"Hmm, yeah you're right. There's not much reason to worry considering who they'd be dealing with." Stiyl agreed.
"Oh, look at the time! Shit Stiyl, I've gotta go! Everyone's waiting for me right now!"
"Whatever, see you." Stiyl hung up and Tsuchimikado rushed out of the cabin, running towards the main clearing.
Little did Stiyl know that Tsuchimikado already knew who the death threat senders were.
Both teams were there along with Touma, Hamazura, Kamisato and Accelerator. Osamu was still who knows where and Awaki wasn't around. Well she was but she was resting in the cabin after being in the 'Pit'.
"Well well well, it looks like everyone is already here!" Tsuchimikado exclaimed.
"It's been like half an hour Tsuchimikado, what's going on?" Touma asked in slight trepidation.
"Oh nothing nothing. I just had to take a call and to make sure that our…'special guest' arrived with no issues."
"Wait, this show has guests now?" Mikoto blurted out.
"Oh you're damn right it does." Tsuchimikado responded with a jovial grin.
"I have a feeling that this isn't going to go well…" Ureapaddy muttered.
"Alright everyone, we still have a little while before the competition for today starts so you can all do your own thing for now. I just wanted to tell you to be on your best behavior for my 'special guest'. He isn't someone that you want to get on the bad side of." Tsuchimikado announced, causing both the Superb Scientists and Magnificent Magicians to theorize on who this mystery guest could be.
"Hey, do you know who this guest is Kamisato?" Touma asked.
"Hmm, I think I might have an idea but I won't say anything for now. I don't want to ruin the surprise." Kamisato grinned to himself.
Touma shook his head at Kamisato's tone and looked at Accelerator and Hamazura who seemed to be having a conversation of their own.
"You know, I've been thinking…" Touma started. "What's gonna happen to the girl that wins this…thing?"
"What do you mean? They're going to become your girlfriend obviously." Kamisato answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well, I don't know why but something's telling me that it won't be that simple."
"Come on, you're over thinking it Imagine Breaker!" Kamisato slapped Touma's back. "Relax, loosen up! Think of this as a vacation man! Why are you stressing out so much?"
Touma wanted to say 'because of my misfortune' but he stopped himself. Why was he stressing out so much? In the end, he'll end up with a girlfriend no matter what right? And they're all great girls too! What is there to stress out about?
"Huh, you know what? You're right Kamisato. I think I'll take your advice." Touma agreed.
"That's the spirit!" Kamisato smiled. "And trust me, when you learn about the truth of this show, you'll-"
"Woah woah woah! Watch your mouth there Kamisato!" Tsuchimikado shouted in interruption.
"R-right sorry." Kamisato scratched his head and apologized.
"Wait, what do you mean, 'truth of this show'?" Touma asked in slight fright.
"Nothing nothing. You're hearing things Kami-yan." Tsuchimikado insisted…a little too much. "Anyway, I need you two for something. Come to our cabin. Accelerator and Hamazura are waiting for us there too."
Tsuchimikado turned and walked towards the forest but Kamisato's words didn't leave Touma's head.
'Truth of this show'? What the hell are they talking about? Is there something more sinister in the works here?'
"Yo, you coming Imagine Breaker? Tsuchimikado sounded pretty serious there." Kamisato snapped Touma out of his thoughts.
"Ah right. Yeah, let's go."
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"Are you alright Misaka-san? You look like you've seen a ghost." Misaki commented with a sly smile.
"…Leave me alone Shokuhou." Mikoto sighed and weakly retorted.
"Aw, don't be so sour Misaka-san! Have fun, think of this as a vacation!"
"Yeah right. As if I could have fun with you here."
"…I'm not here to make enemies Misaka-san."
"Really? Because that's all you seem to know how to do." Mikoto scoffed.
"It's difficult socializing with people without my power." Misaki pouted.
"Don't try to act all meek and vulnerable in front of me Shokuhou. Your act's not going to work."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Misaki said quietly and grinned as Saten started to walk towards them.
"Misaka-san, are you still fighting with Shokuhou-san?" Saten asked somewhat angrily.
"Saten-san, you don't underst-"
"Oh no I understand." Saten interrupted as Misaka grew a look of confusion. "I honestly had a hard time believing it but I had to face the truth. You're…jealous of her aren't you?"
"…WHAT?!" Mikoto shouted in unbridled shock as the rest of the Superb Scientists looked over.
"You're jealous of her looks aren't you?!"
"WHAT?!" Mikoto shouted again.
"Don't think I didn't catch your glances at Shokuhou-san's breasts for the past couple of days Misaka-san. You also stare at her…behind from time to time when we're going to bed."
"Wait wait wait, what are you talking about Saten-san?!"
"Ah~, so that's what's going on. I should've known…" Misaki smiled.
"I didn't realize that Onee-sama was that obvious about her desires. MISAKA states with slight amusement." Misaka Imouto said from the sidelines.
"Wait, you've got it all wrong…!"
"Well, I can't really blame you for feeling that way. Your figure is…pretty shitty to say the least." Mugino commented rudely.
"You…!"
"You could've talked to me Misaka. I would've talked about your problems with you." Konori said sympathetically.
"That's not-"
"Don't worry Misaka-san. Even though you're a Level 5, feel free to talk to us about your problems!" Fukiyose said passionately.
"Would all of you just shut up?!" Mikoto yelled out amongst the incessant chatter. "You know what?! Screw this! Some teammates you guys are, not even listening to me!"
Mikoto walked away as the rest of the Superb Scientists looked on.
From the corner of the cabin, Seria was sitting by herself and contemplating.
'So that's what the blonde vixen is doing huh? She's purposefully trying to act friendly in order to earn the sympathy of those around her. Huh, something like this shouldn't work with the rest of the team already hating her guts but maybe I was wrong. Maybe the rest of the team actually had doubts about Misaka's foul claims on Misaki from the start. She did throw her fair share of tantrums while we were in the cabin numerous times. If that's the case then…Misaka might not have long left here.' Seria thought as she continued to stay out of the drama.
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"We're in a rather dire situation aren't we?" Kanzaki stated somberly.
"You could say that again. We've already lost three of our members and the Scientists have only lost one and that was just because one of them was cheating." Leivinia agreed.
"It's still weird to not see Itsuwa around here." Agnese admitted.
"Do you regret voting her off?" Orsola asked.
"…No, as much as she tried, she still screwed up a lot in the last challenge." Agnese reluctantly admitted.
"What's Tsuchimikado's been saying is bothering me." Ureapaddy suddenly changed the subject.
"How so? I mean yeah, it's Tsuchimikado we're talking about but are his antics different than usual?" Oriana questioned.
"I'm not sure but his tone…disturbed me."
"I agree." Lucia popped in. "His tone during that announcement seemed much more salient than usual."
"Meh, I think you guys are worrying too much." Lessar waved off.
"I don't think you're worrying enough." Leivinia snapped.
"Geez, you guys don't know how to calm down."
"…It's a wonder that you haven't been voted off yet." Lucia said deadpan.
"Come on, I know you guys secretly love me!" Lessar stood up straight.
"No." Was the consensus around the room.
Awww, you guys are no fun!" Lessar whined.
The rest of the Magnificent Magicians inwardly vowed to vote her off if they were to lose again.
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OUTHOUSE- LESSAR
"Honestly, those girls are far too pure for their own good. Lover boy isn't attracted to meek, softhearted girls. He's attracted to moi. He just doesn't see it himself yet. When he finally realized his inner M, he'll come running to me…"
OUTHOUSE- END
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"There you fu***** are. Took you long enough." Accelerator remarked as Touma, Tsuchimikado and Kamisato walked in the cabin.
"Sorry sorry." Touma said all the guys waited for what Tsuchimikado had to say.
"So what's up?" Hamazura asked.
"I have to come clean with you guys. I found a clue of Osamu's whereabouts." Tsuchimikado announced.
"…So?" Accelerator questioned in an annoyed tone.
"Yeah, who gives a shit about him?" Kamisato agreed.
Tsuchimikado took a deep breath and began to expand upon the news.
"Well, I just found out about something…interesting concerning Osamu and it's in our best interests to find him."
"Um…care to elaborate?" Hamazura prompted.
"Sorry, can't say so for confidential reasons but what I can say is that if we don't find him, this island's probably going to explode." Tsuchimikado stated bluntly.
"…WHAT?!" Touma exploded in shock as the rest of the guys had similar expressions of astonishment present on their faces.
"Sorry that I can't explain the why or how but we have to find him. Everyone's livelihood is at stake here."
Touma, Accelerator, Kamisato and Hamazura all briefly glanced each other and within seconds, decided to trust Tsuchimikado. He sounded pretty serious about all this.
"Alright. We'll help out Tsuchimikado. I mean, I would've gone myself if no one else was going but whatever. Where's this clue at?" Touma asked.
"It's on the other end of the island. I found a certain belonging of his there. I honestly have no idea how we missed that before."
"Huh, well alright. Let's get going then." Accelerator suggested as the rest of the guys nodded their heads and left the cabin.
On the trek to the opposite end of the island, Touma brought up a question that's been stewing in his mind ever since Osamu disappeared.
"So…do you all really hate Osamu that much?"
"Yes." Everyone minus Hamazura said.
"But why though? I mean, he's just like us at heart isn't he?" Touma argued.
"Um, what?" Accelerator stopped in his tracks. "Did you just compare me to… him? You better take that shit back because if you don't…" Accelerator readied his choker.
"No no wait!" Touma insisted. "I mean, Osamu's the purest one of us for lack of a better term. We're all perverts-"
"Speak for yourself." Hamazura interrupted.
"We're all perverts but there's always something holding us back. For me, it's just who I am. For you Kamisato, it's due to the events that happened with the Magic Gods and your harem."
Kamisato looked away.
"For you Accelerator, it's your tsundere personality."
"Shut the fu-"
"For you Hamazura, it's that you have a closet ton of fetishes that you're self-conscious about."
"…" Hamazura sighed.
"And for you Tsuchimikado, it's because you're trying to protect your sister."
"…Hm."
"Don't you see? Osamu didn't let the constraints of society and judgment stop him! He stayed true to himself and even though he's pretty disgusting, it's still admirable. The dedication he has to his arousal is what all of us strive for I think. I guess you could say that I…look up to him." Touma spouted out complete bullshit in an attempt to make the guys care about Osamu more.
'God, what the hell was that? There's no way in hell they're gonna fall for th-'
"You're right." Kamisato said.
"What?" Touma squeaked.
"I said you're right. Osamu, while really annoying with his constant business, is what I strive to be. My harem is constantly telling me to be more honest with my desires and as loathe as I am to admit it, I'm not. I feel…scared that they'll reject me if I show my true self. I could learn a thing or two from Osamu." Kamisato sighed. "If I were half the man he is, I'd be in a much better place with my harem right now."
'Wow, how the hell did he pull that out from what I said?' Touma questioned inwardly.
"Boss, you're right." Hamazura started. "I haven't been honest with Takitsubo and it's really hurting our relationship. She knows that I'm hiding something or…some things from her. I've been too scared of revealing my fetishes to her but that's not how a man should act. I have to be up front with my desires like how Osamu is and if she's not okay with that, then it's still fine. I just…I have to be true to myself."
'Huh. I had no idea that Hamazura was keeping all of that bottled up inside of him.'
"You never cease to amaze me Kami-yan." Tsuchimikado grinned. "You're right. While I've always found Osamu's antics a bit annoying, I couldn't say that I hated him. I actually see a little of myself in him. His honesty to his arousal makes me a bit jealous believe it or not. I've held back my desires but seeing Osamu's pure jovial nature at life makes me want to be truer to myself."
'That was…surprisingly deep for Tsuchimikado.'
After that, everyone stared at Accelerator for his heartfelt speech about accepting and respecting Osamu but he just shook his head.
"Let's just fu***** go." Accelerator stated.
The rest of the guys decided to not grill him for now and they continued their trek until they hit the edge of the island.
"Wow, the clue's this far out huh?" Hamazura said in shock.
"Yeah, it's still right here for some reason." Tsuchimikado pointed to the ground to which everyone walked towards.
On the ground was a broken cell phone. It was next to the entrance of a cave. The screen was cracked and the blue color of its casing immediately gave its owner's identity away.
"It's Osamu's phone." Touma stated the obvious.
"Yeah, my guess is that he's in that cave." Tsuchimikado guessed.
"Um guys? I don't think we have to check." Hamazura said nervously as he prompted the rest of the crew to look behind themselves.
When they turned around, they saw a…man crawling on all fours. His whole body was bare except for the small leaf made underwear covering his crotch. His hair was long as it reached to his shoulders and his nails were hideously long too.
It took the guys a second but they eventually realized that Hamazura's suspicions were right.
"Osamu?!" Touma shouted out in astonishment.
Osamu didn't respond and merely stared the guys with a predatory glare.
"Wh-what the hell happened to him?!" Touma shouted.
Touma's question went unanswered however as the sound of a plane roared above them.
Tsuchimikado stared up and cursed.
"Shit! They're already here?!"
Touma and the others were about to ask him what he was talking about but once again, they were interrupted by another unforeseen event.
Dozens of figures leapt off of the plane and landed in front of them.
Most of the figures had a black robe on which covered their entire body except for their face.
In the middle was a man sporting a black tuxedo and a red cloak. He looked to be in his twenties. Next to him was a cuffed man who Touma immediately recognized.
"T-the President?!"
The guys were cautious and backed off but the man in the middle shouted.
"What do you peons think you are doing? Trying to run away? Do you lot truly think that you can escape the great Robert Swallow?! Think again!"
Roberto Katze tried to break out of his cuffs but it was to no avail.
"Now, onto business." Robert started. "I'll return the president to you unharmed but only under one condition."
Touma and the others glared at Robert Swallow with trepidation over what his request would be.
"Hand over my pupil, Osamu Yuki."
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