Chapter seven facing your fears
The Next few days I just decided to hide out at the hotel and spend time with my kids. I had missed the fun they were having and I was really not up to facing everyone after running away. I don't know why I was feeling the way that I was but that is how I felt. The moment I caught a glimpse of Grissom the mere sight of him had almost dropped me to my knees. When he wasn't there to face I could handle the pain of not having him in my life. But when he was right there standing in front of me it was just too much. I choked up I felt like I couldn't breath so instead of facing my fear I ran away from it.
"So Sara how did the luncheon go the other day." "Oh it went fine mom it was great to see everyone again." Of course I had to lie. "Sara is there something you are not telling me?" "Yes mom, I am still in love with Grissom, there I said it are you happy that you know the truth." "I got scared and I ran away from him." "Sara what good is running it is time that you faced your fears." "Not only for yourself but for the sake of your children." "I know that you don't want to hear this again Sara but those children deserve to have a father." "Especially if he is as good of a man as you say he is." "He is a good man mom, but he chose to be with another woman not with me." "The moment he chose her he said goodbye to my life and everything in it including his children." "How can he say goodbye to someone he doesn't even know about Sara!! Come on you are not being fair to him or Max and Maddy." "It is time that you swallowed your pride Sara and got your priorities straight!" "You are a good mother Sara but you really need to learn how to open yourself up and accept the way that life is." "Mom!! You don't know Heather she is a slut and a tramp and I will not have her anywhere around my children!" "Sara no one said you have to have her around your children, just because Mr. Grissom is involved with her does not mean she has to be a part of Max and Maddy's life does it?" "I don't know mom I don't trust him or her as long as he is with her he might as well just stay away!" "Mom, I love him too much to watch him talk about her I just can't do it." Sara started sobbing Laura gathered her daughter in her arms and held her.
"Shh Sara, its okay I am sorry I didn't mean to upset you honey." "Everything is going to be okay Sara; I promise I will never let anyone take those kids away from you no matter what." "You promise mom?" "I promise Sara, I promise."
Sara decided she wanted to spend a quiet evening with her children. They popped popcorn and put on Cinderella and watched it together on the big screen. "Ma ma is that how you felt when you met daddy?" "Yes Maddy I felt like a princess I still feel like one when I am around him." "Mommy can we meet him someday?" "Maybe Max Maybe someday you can." The twins fell asleep in Sara's bed next to her she covered them up and snuggled up next to them. She may not have the man of her dreams but she still had the greatest gift that Grissom had ever given her the gift of her butterflies.