Authors Note: Okay so this is my contribution to the Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon on tumblr arranged by thebookjumper , so this is my multichapter fic using the prompts. Firstly thank you everyone for the support! Sorry this ones a little late, I haven't had a good week, nor been in a great headspace... so I apologise for the tardiness and I hope you continue to enjoy this story as I twist and turn things :P...
Oliver groaned as he submitted his first assignment. He'd had Felicity read over it the night before and he had spent his free time at work editing it before sending it. If he passed this then hopefully everyone would understand how seriously he was taking his studies. He stood up from his desk noting the late hour, and that he'd barely seen Felicity today.
He knew she was trying to keep a professional distance after the newspapers were trying to figure out who she was. She didn't want them to gossip more knowing she had been hired at QC too. So he would head down to collect her, so they could relax at home as they had been doing for the week since the gala.
"Hey," Oliver said as he stepped out his office to see Diggle stood staring at him. "What's wrong?" he asked stopping.
"Felicity," he answered.
"What do you mean?" he asked, instantly stepping closer to him as fear ran down his spine.
"She's locked herself in her office. She's ignored me, Roger, even her boss."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he demanded.
"Because you've been busy too, and as far as we can tell she's actually working," he replied with a sheepish shrug.
"It doesn't matter how busy I am!" he snapped before turning on his heels, heading to the elevator. "She's more important."
"Okay, for future reference I shall let you know man," Diggle added following him into the elevator.
They took the ride in silence, Oliver felt nervous and worried. What could have happened? Had she decrypted the file? Was something going wrong? As soon as the doors opened he walked passed the now empty offices, most of the staff had already gone home. He could see a worried Mr Jameson and Roger, Felicity's new bodyguard, stood beside her office door.
"Mr Queen, she says she's fine but she's locked the door," Mr Jameson said rubbing a hand at the back of his neck.
"She seems upset, sir," Roger added.
"I'll sort it," Oliver replied. "Mr Jameson I got this from here, you should head home."
"Of course," he replied with a sad smile before stepping round them.
"Dig, why don't you two wait near the elevators?" Oliver suggested.
"Okay man, but shout if you need us," he replied. Oliver nodded in understanding.
He waited until they were both out of earshot before he knocked on the door. "Felicity, it's me. Come on open the door. Everyone's worried about you." He heard a small sniffle. "I promise I'm alone." He heard the soft click of the door unlocking and the shuffling of bare feet on the carpet. Instantly he pushed it open, shutting it behind himself before turning slowly towards her.
Felicity's glasses were placed on the desk as she sat curled up on her chair. Her hair was in a messy bun, whilst it was obvious she had been crying. Her makeup was smudged, her eyes looked red and puffy.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, instantly rushing around the desk and kneeling down before her.
"I'm just being stupid," she said.
"No, don't do that," he answered. "Your feelings matter, so what's caused this?"
"I got a notification," she whispered. "They're talking about me online."
"Who is? What did they say?" he asked, trying to remain neutral but ready to roll heads.
She sniffled rubbing the tears from under her eyes. "Everyone," she grumbled.
"Felicity, I know you're upset but I need you to explain." He ran a hand soothingly over her exposed knee, not thinking about the warmth of her skin but just staring at her intently.
"I was trying to decrypt the file, which by the way is a lot harder than I thought, every time I get anywhere it starts to encrypt itself again. I've never seen anything like it-"
"Felicity, you're going off topic, that can wait. I'm more concerned about you right now," he interrupted. He watched as her eyes widened a little as her teeth chewed her bottom lip like that was the last thing she expected to hear from him.
"Yes-I," she shook her head, "was working on that when I had a notification to say my name had been mentioned in the press, I just set it up to keep an eye on things."
"And?"
"They all know my name, they're all spreading horrible lies about me because my ex decided he wanted some quick cash and he sold stories about me," she answered with a soft sob, clearly trying to hold herself back.
"He did what?" Oliver asked unable to stop the anger coursing through his veins.
"He told them I was a gold digger, I was from a poor background in Vegas and that I had planned to get with you all along," she said sadly. "I swear, I never-I wouldn't-"
"Hey, I know, remember I asked you to come here. And you were a kid the first time you were at Queen Mansion, that wasn't exactly your choice."
"He told them that I'm a cheater, and a liar. That I didn't earn my scholarship, that I slept my way through getting to where I am." He clenched his teeth hard, his hand squeezing her knee as he tried to control the rage building inside him. "He said I'm clearly trying to impress by become just a blonde bombshell, but I'm actually just manipulative. He told them personal stuff about my dad leaving, and I doubt it will take them long to connect the dots to his criminal tendencies." She swallowed hard glancing up at the ceiling. "No one will want to hire me now, no one will want to have me working for them. He just ruined my reputation, and told some really intimate details. Now they're analysing our whole relationship. You and me, I mean."
"I'm sorry," Oliver answered. "I swear to you, we'll fix this. Hell I bet my mom and Thea are already on it. But if you want to end all this now, I won't blame you," he added honestly, because he truly didn't want Felicity's life to be ruined. He didn't want to see her in pain, or know he caused some of it.
She reached out, her hand tenderly cupping his cheek and he couldn't help but lean into her touch. "It isn't your fault," she whispered.
"It isn't yours either," he answered as he glanced up at her.
She gave him a watery smile. "I'll be fine," she replied.
He didn't even think as he reached up taking ahold of her wrist before he turned his head and placed a kiss to the centre of her palm. She gasped, completely taken by surprised as his fingers could feel the sudden increase in her heart rate.
"We're going to go home, we're going to order a takeout of your choice, and we'll lie in bed watching films, eating that. Maybe have a pint of mint choc chip ice cream after," he suggested as he stood up. "And we'll talk as little or as much as you want. It's the weekend now, so no work in the morning."
"Oliver-"
"No buts, no excuses. I am here for you." He held out his hand for her to take. She hesitated only briefly before she took it and he helped her stand.
"But I look a mess," she mumbled grabbing her glasses off her desk.
"You look beautiful to me." Which caused her to freeze once more, her eyes widened as she glanced at him quickly. She didn't respond as she slipped her heels back on but she took Oliver's hand the instant he offered it to her, to leave.
They slowly made their way out of her office, Oliver was by her side. He could tell she wasn't walking with the confidence she usually had. Her head was down and her shoulders deflated. He could see Diggle and Roger eyeing them cautiously as they got closer. Oliver didn't even have to say a word he merely shook his head at the men, and although Roger looked confused Diggle simply nodded before they all stepped into the elevator.
The moment they stepped foot into the mansion, he told Felicity to go upstairs, to get into her comfiest pjs, order whatever she wanted and put on a film of her choosing as he had some business to attend to first. He found his mother and Thea in the living room, both seething, both surrounded by a handful of people all on their phones.
"Oliver," Moira said softly as she spotted him. "Where's Felicity?" she asked looking around.
"She's up in our room." Our room, god those words just sound so right to him.
"Oh, is she not feeling well?" she asked.
"No, but I'm sure that you already know that," he added motioning to all the people around him.
"Ah, I'd have hoped she hadn't seen what some of them have been saying," Moira replied with a sad sigh.
"We all know it's bullshit!" Thea shouted.
"Thea!" Moira scolded.
"What it's true?" she answered with a shrug. "Cooper's just jealous. He's got a god complex and doesn't like it when things don't go his way."
"It would appear so," Moira answered with a shake of her head. "I hope Felicity knows we don't believe the lies he's telling."
"Yes! As if Felicity is just after your money," Thea added and suddenly Oliver shuffled awkwardly on his feet.
"I just don't want this to ruin her reputation in the business," Oliver answered rubbing a hand at the back of his neck.
"It won't," Thea replied. "Mom is making sure of it. She's threatening to sue half of the broadcasters for defamation and slander. Others, she's managed to get to pull their stories, after they got some information on Cooper."
"Yes, it appears that boy is not at all as innocent as he made out," Moira added.
"Yep, but so the news will hopefully die down."
"And it will not affect Felicity's opportunities in the future Oliver. The people she wowed at the gala last week don't listen to such idle gossip," Moira replied reassuringly.
"But people at QC do," Oliver answered.
"Not those that matter most," Thea replied. "Plus we'll all be here for her."
"Thanks," Oliver replied. "Both of you, I think she just wants to be alone tonight."
"Well that's understandable we'll get back to this," Moira answered with a wave of her hand before turning back to the phones.
"Take care of her," Thea replied giving him a concerned frown.
"Always," he answered.
It was an hour or so later. Felicity had been unusually quiet, eating her pizza before diving into the mint choc chip ice cream. "This is my favourite," she said licking her spoon.
"I know," Oliver replied as he sat with his back against the headboard staring down at her as she was lay on her stomach.
"Do you want some?" she asked.
"I think you deserve it more," he replied with a smile.
"Well I won't argue with you when it comes to mint choc chip." She sighed happily. He could feel something vibrating near his legs and he looked down to see Felicity staring at her phone. She looked a little paler. "I apologise for this," she said glancing at him before hitting the answer and loudspeaker buttons.
"FELICITY MEGAN SMOAK! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE TUTORING A FRIEND OVER SUMMER! YOU NEGLECTED TO TELL ME YOU'RE DATING OLIVER FREAKING QUEEN," her mom shrieked down the phone, not holding anything back.
"Mom you're on speaker calm down," Felicity answered with a cringe.
"I'm on speaker with who?"
"Me and Oliver," she mumbled.
"OH MY GOD. Oliver!" her mother answered.
"Hi, Mrs Smoak."
"Call me Donna, Mrs Smoak sounds so old. You better be taking good care of my baby girl."
Felicity groaned as Oliver couldn't help but smile. "Of course, ma'am," he replied.
"Good! She's my little feisty genius," she added.
"Seriously mom, stop," Felicity pleaded with a groan.
"Well you neglected to tell me you were dating that fine specimen of man! I mean you did good, baby!"
"Mom, still on speaker." Felicity cringed, her cheeks flushing as she avoided his gaze.
"Oh I know, I'm sure Olivers used to all this attention but he's only got his eyes on you," Donna said easily. "Right Oliver?"
"Yep," he answered and Felicity looked up at him. "She's the only woman I have any interest in." Her eyes widened as she looked completely dumbstruck once more.
"Good to know. Well in that case I'll guess I'll be seeing you both at the wedding."
"Wedding?" Oliver asked.
"Oh yes Felicity's cousin, she's marrying into some rich family in England," Donna replied. "So of course the wedding is in England, in a grand hotel."
"Mom he doesn't need all the details," she groaned.
"Well it would appear he does Felicity, considering you didn't invite him! You were planning on taking that vile ex of yours, so why not take Oliver instead?" Donna suggested.
"Mom..."
"No, I'm sure if I let the company know they'll give me the time off," Oliver answered.
"It's just a day but you can always fly out early and enjoy the facilities, or the hotel room," Donna teased.
"Mom, just no!"
"What with a man like that I wouldn't ever leave my bed," Donna exclaimed happily. Oliver couldn't help but chuckle.
"Mom, we're going bye."
"Sweetie, I'm only teasing."
"Night mom."
"Night sweetheart, remember I love you and don't listen to idle gossip. You know us Smoak women are made of strong stuff," Donna replied.
"I love you too mom."
"Goodnight, Oliver."
"Night, Donna."
With that Felicity hung up with a groan as she dropped her face onto her arms. "Could the ground please swallow me up right now?" she mumbled.
"Felicity, your mom's fine," he replied with a smile. "It's quite refreshing actually."
She glanced up at him with a skeptical look. "You call it refreshing, I call it nosey."
"She just cares," he replied leaning forward. "We all do."
"I know, thank you,"
"You never have to thank me," he answered with a smile. "My mom and Thea have been sorting things."
"They really didn't have to-"
"They wanted to," he replied as she sat up and moved to sit beside him, slightly leaning into his side. "They care about you Felicity, as do I," he added as she handed him the ice cream.
"I care about you all too," she admitted, encouraging him to share the ice cream.
He took a few spoonful's before handing it back to her. "You know, you can tell me anything. Good or bad, I will happily sit here and listen to anything you have to share," he said staring down at her.
She messed with the ice cream before placing it on the night stand. "You don't have to come to the wedding you know?" she replied, clearly deflected from his previous statement.
"A trip to England, why would I pass up that opportunity?" he asked jokingly.
"You could go whenever you wanted."
"True, but this is with you," he replied with a shrug.
"Oliver," she replied skeptically.
"What? I enjoy spending time with you Felicity," he answered honestly, and she looked up at him with her big bright eyes. "I really do, I'm not just saying that. Work, revision, watching a film, anything as long as I'm with you, I'm happy." Her eyes widened further and he could feel his own cheeks flushing. "I would happily be your date if you wanted me to be?"
"D-D-Date?" she stuttered with a flustered sigh.
"Well it's a wedding." He ran a hand nervously at the back of his neck. "And we are in a fake relationship, soo?"
"You want to be my date?"
"Of course I would. You're super smart, and incredibly sexy. You're brilliant, bubbly and bright. You just-you bring out the best in me, you make me want to be better."
Instantly her confusion eased and turned into a brilliant smile before she leant her head on his shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered.
"For what?" he asked.
"Trying to make me feel better with saying all that."
"Oh," he answered. She didn't believe him. He'd told her exactly what he thought and she didn't believe him.
"You know I thought Cooper, my ex was a nice guy," she said randomly, instantly making Oliver tense. "He was at first actually, until he used my codes to commit a crime and landed me in trouble."
"What sort of trouble?" he asked tentatively. He felt her whole body freeze as he watched her eyes flutter briefly.
"It was nothing, not that would affect my record or anything. But it was illegal, he got arrested and in handing me over as the creator, he got away scott free," she admitted with a sad sigh.
"But what about you?" he asked unable to hide his concern.
"They let me go," she mumbled a little too quickly.
"Really?" he asked skeptically.
"Yes. Cooper was made to leave MIT though, they thought it best he no longer attend after he used my code to divert funds."
"Too himself?" Oliver asked.
"Yes, and his friends," she whispered.
"And then he blamed you for it all," Oliver replied with a shake of his head.
"Yep, and when I finally confronted him, he didn't even apologise. He told me that it was expected of someone like me."
"Someone like you?" he asked confused.
"From Vegas, a poor little kid from a single mom who was a cocktail waitress. I wouldn't equate to much in this life."
"And with your father, that hurt, I bet?" he asked wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"He didn't know much about my dad, you're the only person I've ever told," she admitted.
"You can tell me anything, without judgement Felicity. I can't say anything with my past antics," he answered.
"Thank you, Oliver," she whispered before a yawn escaped her. "You know I'm here if you need to talk too."
"I know," he answered as she fidgeted to get more comfortable beside him.
"Good," she added before they fell into an easy silence, both tired from a long day.
There was blood everywhere, it was gushing out of her. He pressed onto the wound trying to remember his training, trying to remember everything but with his alcohol infused brain it all just disappeared.
"Hey," her soft voice completely caught him off guard. He glanced down to see her skin turning pale but she was looking right at him. Her hand landed on top of his, pressing down. The rest of the panic around them disappeared as he watched the woman in his arms slowly fade away. But then it suddenly changed, all the screaming, all the panic came rushing back.
"SHADO!" A man bellowed as he dropped to the floor taking her from Oliver's arms. She was limp, the police surrounded them all. "This is your fault kid!" the man screamed at him. He looked down to see the chaos around him, deep red blood covered the floor and himself. There was smashed bottles, flashing police lights and everything just felt too much. Too much pain, too much loss.
"Oliver?" Felicity whispered bringing him out his nightmare. He bolted up and out of the bed. She knelt there looking so completely confused. He spun away from her gaze, walking towards the window. He took several deep breathes. He hadn't had a nightmare in years. No, that was a lie. He hadn't been capable of having nightmares with the drink and drugs he had been taking back then. But he hadn't had one so realistic in a long time. He let his chin drop to his chest as he desperately tried to control his rapidly beating heart. He could feel Felicity's presence behind him, feel the nervous energy bouncing off her. "Oliver? Are you okay?" she asked unmoving.
"I'll be okay," he answered leaning against the window. He was stunned when he felt arms wrap around him, a body sliding against his as she forced herself between his arms and looked up into his face.
"Talk to me," she replied. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
"Felicity I-I can't." He stepped out her grasp, needing some distance. He didn't want to taint her with his past.
"I'm going to sit right here." She placed her hand on the window seat before sitting down. "If you want to sit beside me, sit the other side of the room, lie in bed, whatever. I don't care as long as you talk to me. Because something's wrong."
"Felicity…"
"No. I'm right here. Just like you said. Good and bad. I'm here for it all."
Oliver swallowed thickly as he held her gaze for a second. Her determination and honesty startled him slightly as he leant tentatively against his bed. "I killed someone," he said plainly, avoiding her gaze. He waited for the inevitable gasp, the questions, the confusion but instead he was met with silence. He looked up to see her simply waiting for him. "I killed someone," he repeated.
"Right…"
"You don't believe me?" he asked.
"It's not that, I need more," she said softly. "I need you to explain it to me."
"What more is there to explain?" he shouted. "I killed a man!" He felt the adrenaline from his nightmare rush through him as he clenched his fists. He looked up expecting to find Felicity scared, maybe even recoiling from him but she wasn't.
"Okay," she said softly, her hand twitching like she wanted to touch him instead.
"Why are you so calm about this?"
"Because I'm not afraid of you, Oliver. I never have been and I never will be," she answered with a shrug and that hit him hard. He held back a sob as he felt his emotions swirling inside of him like a tornado.
He gravitated towards her without thought, instantly wrapping his arms around her. "Felicity," he whimpered and she held him just as tightly back.
"It's okay, Oliver," she said softly. "It'll all be okay."
He didn't know how long they stayed that way, wasn't fully sure who let go first, or who moved them but all he knew was, he was now sat in the window seat with Felicity sat between his legs. Her back was to his chest with his arms around her waist as she had her hands over his. They looked out onto the darkened grounds, as he let her soft caress soothe him.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?" she asked tentatively.
"Remember when I passed the Law Enforcement Entry exam?" he asked.
"That was the summer I went to see my mom about going to MIT."
"Yeh, well when I had confirmation I could go to the police academy as well as being accepted to 3 different universities, Tommy threw a massive house party," he replied.
"How did I not know about that?" she asked.
"Because of what happened," he admitted with a shaky breath. "I went on a beer run, I wasn't stupid enough to drive so one of the sober guys drove us but I knew this perfect store in the Glades that didn't care about checking ID. Stupid I know."
"Hey, you were young," she answered with a shrug.
"Yes, but I should have known better, especially with going into the police force."
"Nobody is perfect," she mumbled her head dropping slightly. "Believe me, everyone makes mistakes and choices they regret."
"Yes," he agreed, feeling her tense slightly but she quickly pushed passed it continuing to caress his skin.
"So what happened?" she asked again.
"I went in, headed straight for the alcohol. There was a woman in with a crying baby she was trying to settle, another lady who was grabbing a bottle of wine and the guy behind the counter. Just typical everyday people at 11pm." He stopped a second to collect his thoughts, focusing on her soft skin touching him. "I grabbed a crate, followed the women with the wine when two men came rushing in. One had a gun, the other a knife."
"So they wanted to rob the place?"
"Yes, they demanded money from the cashier. The man with the gun pointed it to his head. The man with the knife turned on us demanding money. I didn't think as the woman with the baby became hysterical. I dropped the crate, making sure to stand in front of her but he lunged at us." He reached round moving her hand over the very thin marred line on his forearm.
"He cut you?" she whispered. her fingers running over and over the scar, she'd clearly never paid that much attention to before.
"Yeh, but it was stupid. If I hadn't have moved then none of what happened would have followed," he answered sadly.
"What happened?"
"The other woman, I later learned was military trained. She managed to kick the knife out of the hands of the guy before swinging and swiping the guy with the guns legs from under him."
"Wow."
"Yeh, I managed to tackle the knife guy having no knife. I landed a few blows, knocking him out before I looked up see the woman and man struggling with the gun. It was being held all over the place, every direction and I just jumped to my feet. I stepped back knowing the lady with the baby was still there and that seemed to be the same moment the woman remembered her too." He kept his gaze straight as he felt Felicity's eyes turn up to him. "She stepped back trying to defend us, and the gun went off as she landed a heavy punch. The gun flew across the floor towards us at the exact same time as she fell into my arms and we fell to the ground."
"He shot her?" she mumbled.
"There was so much blood, so much," he whispered. "I was too drunk, I didn't-couldn't save her."
"But that wasn't your fault. You didn't kill her."
"No, but I killed him," he answered. "He went scrambling for the knife, whilst his friend regained consciousness and when met with the scene before him, ran. I didn't even register as I picked up the gun. He turned towards us all, knife in hand and I released two bullets right into his chest," he said it so coldly, he didn't even recognise his own voice. "I watched that man fall to the ground. I watched as the woman in my arms, her name was Shado, started to grow weak. She held my hand as we pressed onto her wound but it was futile, her skin was paling quickly, no medic in sight and slowly I watched as the light slipped from her eyes. She died."
"Oh Oliver," Felicity whispered, her hands still touching him.
"My parents made it all go away. It was not good to be seen drunk and having shot someone. It was ruled self defence, and the other man was never found. He was never brought to justice," he replied unable to stop his jaw clenching.
"You parents basically paid for it to go away?"
"Yes," he replied shamefully. "I decided that I didn't deserve to be a police officer, I couldn't protect that woman, I couldn't get justice for her," he took a shaky breath, "I went to college, I did drugs and drank to forget all of it. I pushed everyone I loved away, and I hurt them because I was hurting."
"Did you get help?" she asked.
"After my 3rd college, yes. I stopped drinking, and doing drugs. I actually asked for help, and it worked. I got clean but I got kicked out the last college because I just couldn't keep up," he answered. "I have to live with all my actions, Felicity."
Instantly she spun in his arms, kneeling between his legs as she grabbed grasp a cheek in each hand. "Listen to me, that ladies death wasn't your fault."
"Her name was Shado, she was meant to be getting married that week. She'd come back off tour with her boyfriend. He wouldn't agree with you," he replied sadly. "He was distraught, I can still remember how he pulled her from my arms and how he screamed her name. The nightmares, they aren't constant, hell this is the first one I've had in a long time but-"
"They're a part of you. They might always be, and you have to live with that." He nodded sadly as he felt her thumbs running over his cheekbones. "That's fine Oliver, but you need to realise you're not alone, and you most certainly aren't done fighting this."
"What?"
"I'm here, and I will be as long as you want me," she said without thought. "And yes, you can't forgive yourself right now but I'll be here to forgive you. To remind you of the great man you are." She moved a hand from his cheek to his chest, right above his beating heart. "To keep fighting for things in life."
"Thank you," he replied, his eyes glancing to her lips and back to her eyes. She stared at him, like really stared at him, like she could see his soul.
"I understand why you didn't become a police officer, but you were so passionate about it, and I know you hate the business side-"
"Let's not have this conversation tonight," he practically begged.
"Okay, but we will have it. Because I don't want you to waste your life being miserable, doing something you don't love." He merely nodded in response completely blown away by her tenderness.
Then his heart stopped and his lungs ceased as she leant up placing the softest of kisses to his forehead. He leant into her touch, a small sigh escaping his lips at the feel of her against him. It would be so easy to look up and capture her lips, but he didn't need that. Not right now, all he needed was her. So when she pulled back, he stood up.
"Let's get back to bed, it's been a long day for us both," he said holding his hand out for her to take. Without a beat passing she took it, slipping from the window seat following back to the warmth of the bed.