Waking Up in Vegas

Chapter: 7

Rating: PG

The evening had started off innocent enough. They left the hospital in high spirits. Ted was awake and on his way to recovery. Mary had cheered Lou up when Ted's words hit a little too close to home. And they had shared on hell of a kiss. The kind of kiss that was all consuming and knee buckling. The kind of kiss that made everything else that was going on disappear.

At La Bella's they were seated in a small, cozy corner complete the low lighting and soft music. The waitress had actually mistaken them for a couple who were celebrating their wedding anniversary. She had asked them how many years they had been married. They both laughed it off, replying that they were simple friends and nothing more. But by the time they had left the romantic ambiance of the restaurant they were starting to become aware that something was changing or rather had changed between them.

By the time they got to the movies they were both aware that their friendly outing and celebrating of Ted's road to recovery was more or less a date. Kisses and candlelight and holding hands as they entered the movie theater certainly qualified them as on a date. They both seemed to be relaxed and enjoying themselves though. It was all still unspoken, but sometimes words really didn't matter. And they both seemed comfortable.

It wasn't until they arrived back at Mary's apartment that whatever shifted between them was starting to come to the forefront. Lou closed the door behind them, not sure of what his next move was going to be. He had a fantastic time with her and enjoyed every minute of the evening, but he knew that whatever was happening couldn't continue. And hell maybe she didn't want it to either. It was for the best.

Mary hung up her coat. "Would you like a drink?"

"No." he mumbled, deep in thought. "No, thank you."

She made her way down into the livingroom. "Are you sure?" she asked. "You seem a bit stressed."

Lou made his way down the steps and into the livingroom. He reached out for her hand. "Come here." he said. "I think we need to talk." they sat down on the sofa. "A lot has happened over the course of the past few days and we really haven't had a chance to deal with any of it."

"I think we were so wrapped up in Ted that everything else just became secondary." she said. "But you're right we do need to talk."

He took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. "This is difficult for me." he confessed. "I'm not exactly sure where I need to start." he said more to himself than anyone. "I've really enjoyed these past few days with you. I think mostly because we were leaning on each other in a very trying time, but not that things are getting back to normal I've noticed that things have started to change. I feel like we've already crossed a few lines of friendship and I think it's important that we try not to cross anymore."

Mary was a bit surprised. When Rhoda had tried like hell to point out that their relationship had evolved Mary argued her down, basically telling her she was out of her mind. But after she had kissed him and after they had dinner, and after the movie she was finally able to understand what her friend was talking about. She also realized that she liked being with Lou. She could see herself with him in a way that she never could with most of the other men she had dated.

It hadn't been planned. Fate had kind of thrown them together and she rather liked the idea. The thought of exploring whatever it was between them, and there was something, felt right. "I see." she said, slowly. "I thought we were having a good time."

"We were." he immediately replied. "It's just that we're about to enter dangerous territory here and I'd rather stop it before it goes any further. I don't want to start something...I can't start something with you that I know isn't going to work out."

"What makes you think that?" she asked. "We haven't even given it a fair try."

"It's just not going to work out." he said. "We're much too different, we work together, and it's just...it's not possible." Lou was trying his very best to let her down as easily as he possibly could. He knew that he was hurting her, he knew that he was hurting them both. He was trying to listen to reason, to the voices in his head. He wasn't about to let his heart win this round, not when he knew in his head that it would never work. "We're in different places in our lives and entering into anything other than friendship would be a disaster."

Mary nodded. "I understand."

"You do?" he was hopeful that things could go back to the way they were. He was hopeful that everything was going to work out just fine. Because he wanted her, he did. More than he ever wanted anyone in his entire life. But there were so many reasons he couldn't be with her. Their working relationship, their friendship, they really were in different places in their lives, and their was a big age difference. Fourteen years to be exact.

"Yes, I understand perfectly." she said. "You've just gotten divorced and you're hurting. You think it's best to shut yourself off from feeling anything at all."

He was. It was absolutely true. And he was a coward for it. But if he told her how he really felt that they would both end up hurt in the end. It was better to stop things now while they hadn't gotten too far out of hand. "Among other things, yes." he breathed out. "But one day you'll thank me. Mr. Right will come along, you'll fall in love, and live happily ever after. You'll see."

Mary turned her head away from him. She wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of seeing the tears that were springing forth in her eyes. She knew that he felt the same way she did, she knew it. She could feel it in his touch, in the way he looked at her, and in his kiss back at the hospital. Of all the men she had kissed she had never been kissed quite like that. With such tenderness and sincerity. With overwhelming passion and such underlying desire.

"Mr. Right, huh?" she sighed. "If I even believed he existed before then I certainly don't now."

"Hey, look at me." he said. "Look at me." he titled her chin up so that he could see into her eyes. "I'm not doing this to hurt you. Really, I'm not."

She blinked back a few tears. "I know." she replied. "I don't know why you're doing it, but I know you would never intentionally hurt me."

"I wouldn't." he wiped away her fallen tears. "I promise you that. I just don't think it's a good idea for you and me to get involved."

"If that's what you think is best." she told him. "I may not agree with your decision, but I respect it. I just thought that we felt the same way."

"It's not about what I feel for you." he said. "It's about the fact that we're just not compatible. I've been married, I've raised my family, I've done with white picket fence stuff."

Mary nodded. "So this is about age."

"It's not just about age." he replied. "But age is a factor. I'm fourteen years older than you are. That's a big age gap, Mary."

"This is about age." she repeated. "It doesn't bother me, but if it bothers you enough that you're not willing to explore this then okay. We'll just try and go back to the way things were."

"I don't want things to be awkward between us."

"I think it's a little too late for that." she replied. "And not because of tonight but because of everything that's happened before this conversation took place. I didn't really see it before but looking back on the past few days I realize that something has changed."

"I know it has." Lou agreed. "But I can't give you what you want, Mary." he said, softly. "I really, really wish I could. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."

"I'm not the only one you're hurting."

"I know." he replied. "But I would rather it hurt a little now than a whole lot later."

Mary simply nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry, Mary." he gently cupped her face in his hands. "I really am." he leaned in and softly kissed her lips. Every reason he gave her for not wanting to get involved with her seemed to be erased the moment his lips touched hers.

She pulled back and moved his hands away from her face. "I think you should probably go, Lou."

"I know I should." he said. "I'm just having a very hard time convincing myself right now that it's the right thing to do."

tbc...

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