She was fuming, how dare Charity try to take Cain away from her when she needed him the most. She was furiously fixing the tractor when Cain told her."Me and Charity are going to go to France." Those 9 nine words broke her already fragile heart as he sad those to her. She tried to pretend that she didn't care but she knew that he didn't believe her for a single minute. She was still angry about him leaving her when Holly was back on the drugs.
She was beginning to self destruct, everyone could tell. She went to the pub almost every night when she wasn't working and drank until she passed out and wounded up on Chas's sofa with a banging head ache.
She approached the bar for the third time that week."Hello love!" Chas greeted. Moira was glad that she never lost that friendship with Chas."A vodka tonic please." She sat at the bar and rested her head on her hands, ready to cry."Moira?" She heard his voice and saw him with Charity and felt jealousy in the pit of her stomach. She already had a bottle at home and after she finished the vodka tonic, she was feeling woozy."You alright?" He asked sitting next to her."I'm fine go back to the blonde behind the bar." She spat and she stood up, walking out."Cain go after her, she's hurting." Chas told I'm and he ran after her.
"Moira!" Cain shouted and Moira ignores him and drove off back to the farm. She heard her phone ringing and as it was Cain, declined the sped off in his BMW in front of her car and she drove through the side road that connects to her house.
They both stopped and Moira quickly got to the house and as Cain just about reached the door she already closed it. She began smashing the plates up and she cut her hand, she stared at the injury in wonder and awe. She began to cut into her arms and laughing at it. She didn't register the noise of Cain who was trying to break in because he heard the smashing. He eventually made it inside and she quickly hid her cuts from him."Moira are you ok?" His frantic voice nearly made her cry but she refused "I'm fine." She accidentally brushed her arms against her clothes and winced."Moira?" Cain saw the pain flash in her eyes and walked closer to her. She stepped back "what?" She said."Let me see your arms." Cain ordered."No." She crossed her arms on the defensive."Why not?" Cain asked,concerned. She suddenly sprinted away from him and locked the bathroom door. She heard Cain's footsteps up the stairs and she held her breath."Moira?" Cain said as he tried the door only to find it locked."Moira I know you are on there." Moira was silent.
"Moira let me in." Cain said. After a few minutes he said sadly "I'm going to go but I'm going to see you tomorrow." He left after a final glance at the door. She fell to the floor and sobbed so hard that she fell asleep.
Meanwhile Cain was sitting on the sofa on the back of the pub when Aaron came in."Cain you ok?" Aaron was concerned after the text he sent."Aaron why did you first self harm?" Cain knew this was a difficult topic to breach but he wanted to understand it."Because I was angry at myself and the world and I wanted to take it out on myself. Why?" Cain was silent,wondering if he should tell his theory about Moira."Cain? Tell me if it's about you or someone else." Aaron was persistent and Cain finally told him "Its Moira." Aaron got confused "What about her?" "I think she's harming herself." Cain said Aaron wanted to know why he thought that."Why do you think that?""Because she winced earlier back on the farm, there was blood on the floor and she hid her arms when I wanted to see." Aaron exhaled the breath he didn't know he had held."Do you want me to go and see her?" He asked Cain who shook his head "No,she'll be angry if I tell anyone.""I have a suggestion." Aaron said."Lets hear it." Cain was desperate."Leave it for a week and if you or I notice anything we tell each other and decide from there." Cain nodded and Aaron left him on his own where he went to a fitful sleep.
Moira woke up with a banging headache and a throbbing in her arms as she hasn't properly treated them yet. She got up slowly and checked her phone, she saw that she had 12 missed calls from Cain and surprisingly Aaron. She decided to call them later, at the moment he task was to treat the cuts. She bandaged them and wore a turtleneck to hide the bandages.
She didn't bother making herself some breakfast and went straight into work. Her thoughts were plagued with cruel things. She keeps thinking that she's weak, a nuisance and too fat to be a attractive woman. She heard a car pull up and she recognised it as Cain's. She hid from his sight but he had already seen her."Moira I know you are there." With his footsteps getting closer, she tried to quietly walk away. He heard her footsteps and picks up his pace. "Moira!" He called to her distant figure.
He put on a pair of overalls and called the garage to say that he won't be in for today."What are you doing?" Adam questioned Cain."I'm helping on the farm." Cain told him and walked off to find Moira.
Moira was busy fixing the fence that was on top of the stood behind her for 10 minutes before she noticed."Oh what do you want?" She sighed."Are you ok?" He noticed that she was wearing a turtleneck in warm weather and thought that it was strange."I'm fine don't worry." She was determined to not let him rattle her."Fine but I'm working on the farm today." He told her and walked off leaving her to stew on her own.
What he didn't know was that she had a razor in her pocket. She grabbed it and took her frustrations on herself. When she was done, she noticed that there wouldn't be a way to hide the blood unless she ran to the bathroom and washed it off.
The next time Cain saw Moira was when he took a sandwich up to her."Lunch time!" He smiled until he noticed the blood on her wrist. He pretended to not see it but made a mental note that when Aaron was here he'd tell him about it."I'm not hungry." She said looking die at the food in disgust."The Moira I know would get hungry at this time of day unless we were doing some exercise." He told her. She shook her head and walked away.
At the end of the day, Cain went to the pub."Where's your Aaron?" He asked Chas."Hi Chas! Hi Cain! Nice to see ya! You too!" She sarcastically said."Hi Chas, now where's Aaron?" He tapped the bar. "He's in the back." Cain went into the back.
"I can't do this." Cain told Aaron."Why?" Aaron asked him confused."She's done it again." Cain said."How do you know?" Aaron questioned."There was blood on her wrist." He declared but it was clear he was hiding something."Cain what else is there?" Aaron nervously asked."I offered her some food earlier and she said she wasn't hungry." Cain said."I don't see a problem there." Aaron scratched his neck."She is always hungry after farm work Aaron!" Cain exclaimed."I have noticed that she never eats any food in front of other people." Aaron admitted."Can you go and see her tomorrow then?" Cain pleaded."Yes I will." Aaron said confidently.
Moira was exhausted, her new cuts were stinging and she was hungry, no scratch that, she was starving. She wanted something so she ordered a Chinese takeaway. She heard the door open and Adam yelled"Mum! You here?" "Yes!" Adam saw his mother."I ordered you Chinese." Moira told Adam."How about you?" Adam asked."No I'm going to have tea over Chas's house." She grabbed her jacket and walked away. She knew that if she was feeling faint she should eat something so she went to the pub an ordered some chips."Here you go love." Chas smile at her seemingly happy friend, who was dying inside at the amount of food there was.
Cain saw her walk into the pub and hung back for a few minutes then bravely went into the pub."Hey Cain!" Chas said smiling."A pint and fries please Chas." He paid her and when he got a drink and fries went and sat opposite Moira."Hello." Cain smiled."Sorry there was no other seats." Moira looked around saw that there was another one next to Pearl. They sat in silence and Cain noticed that she was nibbling her food and had barely touched it since he's been here. He also saw that her sleeve rolled down slightly to show a cut. He swallowed harshly and continued to eat."So how much work did you get done today?" Cain aske breaking the ice."Not alot. I had to do a three man job by myself." Moira said quietly."I'll help tomorrow and I'm sure Aaron could do something as well." Cain told her."No I'm fine." She told him."Moira. You can't do a three man job by yourself." He laughed a little."Why can't I?" Moira was tipping into angry Moira which he found scary."Because its called a three man Jo fir a reason." He leant forward and she leant forward too. They looked at each others lips but before anything could happen she left. He gazed at her retreating back worriedly.
(The next day)
"So how are we going to play this?" Aaron asked as they approached Moira's door."Let's find out." They entered and saw that Moira was there swirling her spoon in her tea."Moira." He pretended to go straight to work but lingered outside the door."Moira, if you want to talk, then I'm here." Aaron told Moira."Thanks Aaron." They sat in silence until Moira asked "how did you deal with losing Jackson?" Moira asked quietly."It was hard at first but then I knew I had people around me who cared about me." Aaron told her truthfully."You do too." He placed his hand on Moira's forearm which made her wince."Moira?" Aaron pulled her sleeve up and saw that she was bleeding."Oh its nothing." She tried to prise his hand off of her arm."Moira I know what nothing is but this is deliberate. You can't fool an ex cutter." He gazed into her eyes and saw a mixture of emotions in there."Aaron it's nothing, I promise." She didn't like the way he was looking at her."Moira. Cain said -" Aaron tried to speak but Moira broke in "Cain said something to you didn't he!?" Her rage was at boiling point."Yes!Yes! Just because he was worried about ya Moira!" He tried to calm her down. She stormed out and saw Cain near the gate and she slapped him hard. She was bring restrained by Aaron but his grip was slipping and she approached Cain again but he anticipated her move and pinned her against the gat."Moira!" Cain shouted trying to get her attention. He noticed that her eyes were glazed over."Aaron go to the pub and get Chas." Aaron hurriedly left. "Moira," He held her gaze "Moira look at me!" "Go away Cain!" She struggled against him and he noticed her hands going towards her arms and he held her hands in his but she didn't notice. He spun her around so she would try to stop her from hurting him or herself even more. She broke free and sprinted towards the truck but before she could get in, he slammed it and leant against the door."Moira?" He rested his hands on her shoulders and she tensed under the touch. He began rubbing her shoulders and kissed her lips knowing that would at last shock her awake but she amazed him by responding. He suddenly remembered the situation and pulled away."Moira, you don't want this." She looked so hurt at that but it quickly turned into anger and she pulled the door open with more force than necessary and got in."Moira!" Cain started banging on the window but she couldn't hear him and she drove off. Then in the next 30 seconds Chas arrived and Cain entered."Follow her car!" He pointed down the lane."Why?" Chas asked."Please just do it!" They drove off.
They noticed that they were nearing a drug den, Holly's dealers drug den. He growled under his breath. He saw Moira get out of her truck and he got out after her. He was near enough to pull her to him."Moira, you go in there you'll regret it." He told the struggling Moira."Cain get off!""No I'm not letting you go in there!" He dragged her off to the truck."Get in." He growled and as hw grabbed the keys from her hand before, locked her in until he got in there."What are you doing?" Moira shouted at him as they drove away."What am I doing? What are you doing? You know that place was where Holly her drugs from!" He shouted at her."It's not your problem anymore Cain! So go back to Charity!" She shouted."No!" He responded "Why not?" She pushed."Because I still love you, you idiot!" She was so shocked by his statement that she didn't know that they were back at the farm."Well don't." She said and got out and went into the house but before she could lock it, Cain and Chas entered.
"Ugh what now?" She angrily said."We are not leaving until you tell us what's wrong with ya." Chas told her."Did you tell her too then? You told Aaron so why not one more person, eh?" Moira shouted at Cain. Cain was fed up with her attitude and marched her into the bedroom. He locked it and Cain stared at Moira."You can't be serious." She said in disbelief."I am serious and you are not going anywhere until you tell me what's up with you." Cain stood in front of the door. She tried it and said "so you're going to keep us here like a locked animal. She walked towards Cain."Yep." "Do you know what we can do?" Moira approached him and dragged him to the bed and before he realised it, she grabbed the key and unlocked the door. She tried to escape but she was grabbed by Chas and then Cain so she struggled with it and she broke down. She sobbed so hard that she thought she would pass out. She heard the tap running and felt someone who she thinks was Cain stroking her hair and Chas rubbing her back.
"Moira, you have to eat the sandwich." Cain coaxed her but she shook her head."Come on love, I made it and its very successful." Chas tried now and she felt Cain chuckle."Why do you not want to eat it?" Cain asked."Because I'm too fat." She mumbled thinking no one would hear but Cain did."Why do you think you are fat?" Cain asked."Because you left me for a skinny woman and ages ago after we made up after the James thing, you said I put on a but of timber." She sniffed quietly and Cain and Chas looked at each other, Cain hopeless with this situation."Love, he didn't leave you because of your body, he left because he didn't want to see you hurt from Holly." Chas told her and Moira looked from Chas to Cain "Really?" Cain nodded."I love your body, remember all those times I couldn't take my hands off of your body? I don't do that with Charity, Chas can vouch for that." Chas nodded "and if he did it when I was there, boy he wouldn't be able to walk." Moira chuckled."Come on lets get off of the floor." Cain and Chas helped Moira up and she smiled at them.
"How about we go to the pub, I have left Aaron there and he's a lovely boy but he probably gave away free drinks to half of the pub." Chas laughed and Moira went to get changed."Why don't you wear this?" Chas held up a long sleeved black dress for Moira to see."Nah." Moira shrugged."Really? I love it though." Chas said."If you want it you can have it." Moira said to Chas who squealed and tried it on and it fit like a glove."How do I look?" Chas made a big show and tell of it and Moira laughs at her sister in law's silliness "You look nice in it, you'll be turning heads." "I know what you can wear!" Chas ran into Moira's wardrobe and grabbed one of Moira's favourite outfits, a redtop,black leather jacket and a pair of black skinny jeans."Ce on, Cain would be watching Judge Rinder. Chas took a picture if him watching the programme and id it before he noticed."Come in Cain." They all rushed out of the door and went into Cain's BMW.
"There you are!" Charity said to Cain and hugged him, reminding Moira that they weren't in a relationship."Get off Charity." He and Moira sat at a table at the back of the pub."There's that smile I've been waiting for." Moira blushed and her smile got bigger. Chas came back with the drinks "Here you go." Chas noticed Cain and Moira smiling at each other, acting like teenagers."Cainnn." Then the moment was gone as Charity came over and sat next to him. Chas noticed Moira's smile was gone."Charity, I don't love you!" Moira heard Cain say. Charity looked like she didn't care."Fine I could go with anyone I want now." She huffed. The trio started laughing hysterically at Charity growing herself whenever she thought Cain was looking."I'm just going to go to the bathroom." Moira left but didn't notice that Charity went after her but Chas did."Stay there." "Where are you going?" Cain asked."Charity went into the toilets after Moira nad I don't think its for friendly reasons." So Chas went into the bathroom.
"Go away Charity." Moira said."No you stole Cain from me so I'm going to take something from you." Chas walked in then "Charity either get back behind the bar or g to France to your daughter even though when I call her later, she'll hear how you terrorised Moira." Moira was thankful for that an Chas and Moira went back together."You aright?" They nodded."Guys?" Moira asked. They looked at her "what?" Moira shook her head "nevermind its stupid to ask." Cain and Chas placed their hands on top of Moira's "tell us." They said in unison."Would you like to stay over mine for the night?" She blurted out. They looked at each other then stared at Moira who shifted, feeling uncomfortable."Of Course!" Chas screamed giving her best friend a hug."You had me going there for a minute." Cain laughed."Lets go now." They all got their coats on."Hey Chas where are you going?" Charity asked."Moira's, you can handle the bar tomorrow." They left feeling happy.
Thy all watched a film called 'Nine Cats'. Halfway through the film Cain whispered "Chas?" She looked over at Cain who looked happy and she saw that Moira had fallen asleep tucked into Cain."Don't move her." Chas got two duvet and placed one over Moira and Cain and one for herself. They settled into a deep sleep.
They knew that they had to take each day as it is but with support from each other, they knew that they could get through anything thrown their way.
So sorry this is so long it is also a turn from the last chapter but please leave suggestions and review xx