IceGirl: La de da de da...
Bite-Me: Dude, what the hell?
IceGirl: I'm bored!
Bite-Me: You need a hobby...and some cookies.
IceGirl: Music is my hobby...and no thanks. I already had two.
Bite-Me: OK, . We have to get on with the story so people don't stab us with pitchforks and things.
Booth: Awww... *puts away pitchfork pouting*
IceGirl: Dude, what the hell?
Bite-Me: THAT'S MY LINE! I think he stole that from under my bed.
IceGirl: You have pitchforks under your bed?
Bite-Me: Maybe. Now...OWN WITH THE STORY! WE OWN NOTHING!
IceGirl: Except the plot for this story and Alex and Jamie.
Bite-Me: ...Cookies...
Booth: How do you put up with her?
IceGirl: Me knowing her since I started high school.
Booth: Fair enough.
Bite-Me: Hello! Story! WE NEED TO GET ON WITH THE STORY!
IceGirl and Bite-Me: Chapter 7: Panic Attacks and Plans to Wed...
"GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! GUYS!" Booth kept on yelling as he ran in like a girl.
"WHAT? I'M WATCHING FOOTBALL AND GETTING $50 FROM HODGINS!" Alex yelled in frustration.
"I need your help! Something terrible has happened!" Booth panted.
"What? You realised you're a guy and NOT a girl?" Hodgins snickered.
"50 POINTS!" Zach and Alex exclaimed.
"Now you got him doing it," Booth sighed.
"I KNOW! IT'S AWESOME!" Alex squealed.
"Booth, you're still in a panic," Cam stated, "What's up?"
"Jamie and Brennan have been buried alive and have only 11 hours to live!" Booth announced.
"SAY WHAT? WHO KIDNAPPED MY BEST FRIEND?" Alex exclaimed in rage, "AND MY AUNTY WHO ISN'T MY AUNTY YET AND SHALL BE MY AUNTY?"
"That was a mouthful," Zach remarked.
"I know," Alex agreed, "And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna disappear of the face of the earth now."
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Justin exclaimed before hyperventilating.
"CALM DOWN, MAN!" Hodgins screamed in Justin's face as he shook him by the shoulders.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY F***ING GOD!" Justin kept on shouting...until Hodgins slapped him in the face, "OW!"
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Hodgins snapped.
"We need to find some way to get them back!" Angela reminded them, "...Where did Alex go? And where did my computer go? And where's Cam?"
Somewhere else...
"Alex, what are you doing in Brennan's office?" Cam asked as she walked into Brennan's office.
"Hacking into the Army Satellite System to track down my best friend and my aunty who's not my aunty yet by tracking their phones with the help of my friend, McGee, from NCIS. Don't tell my uncle. He'll try to kill me...and freak out," Alex answered.
"Can you teach me how to do that?" Cam questioned.
"Later, young padawan. Later," Alex nodded, "Yes! I'm almost in! Correction: I am in! YAY! Thank you, McGee. I owe you a game of Halo later. Oh! There goes my coffee buddy. HI, GIBBS!"
Gibbs waved back and walked away...not without giving McGee his famous 'Gibbs Slap'.(IceGirl: hehehehehehehehehehe… Bite-Me: Seriously? IceGirl: I felt like it! Bite-Me: Fair enough.)
"Why do I get the feeling that there's this dark, evil man standing behind us ready to kill us?" Cam asked nervously.
"That's because it's my uncle. He's got this thing where he becomes all creepy when he's mad. I've got uncle sensooooors. Aw shiz!" Alex exclaimed as she and Cam looked up and saw Booth and Sweets standing over them.
"Just smile and wave, Alex. Smile and wave," Cam muttered to Alex through gritted teeth.
"What are you doing?" Booth demanded.
"I'm hacking into the Army Satellite System to find Jamie and Brennan," Alex answered.
"And who's that?" Sweets demanded as he pointed to screen.
"That's Gibbs, my coffee-drinking buddy. That's McGee, my video-gaming and hacking buddy. That one over there with the stupid grin on his face is DiNozzo. He's not loved (DiNozzo: Ya know ya love me. Alex: You wish). The one who looks like a goth chick who is a goth chick is Abby. She teaches me awesome things to do with science and computers. And that there is Ziva. She taught me how to kill someone with a paper clip. Very useful," Alex introduced.
"She taught you what?" Booth demanded.
"Nothing," Alex answered nervously, "Anyway, back on track, we need to find these people. Gibbs, help me!"
"On it," Gibbs nodded before he and his team walked away.
"You better make good with that Halo promise," McGee said to Alex.
"I'll come over this arvo," Alex promised before signing off and turning to Booth, "How dead am I?"
"So, so, SO DEAD!" Booth answered evilly.
Alex squealed and ran off with Booth hot on her tail. Cam just stood there wondering what the hell is going on before remembering the situation.
"Aw, shit," Cam suddenly cursed out of nowhere.
Suddenly, a turkey came into the room. Cam stares at Turkey. Turkey stares back. Turkey starts to look over at the GPS system that's plugged into the computer. Turkey grabs the GPS and runs off with Cam screaming behind him,
"HEY! WE NEED THAT!"
Turkey runs past Hodgins and Zach with the GPS in its mouth.
"What…the hell?" Hodgins and Zach asked.
"THE TURKEY HAS THE GPS!" Cam shouted.
"Sweet! My Thanksgiving turkey!"Hodgins squealed as he ran after the turkey.
Suddenly there's a crash in the direction where the Turkey ran off too. Emerging from the crash site was Booth holding both Alex and the Turkey.
"OK. Quick question: Why is there a turkey here? And why does he have a GPS? …HEY! THAT'S MY GPS!" Alex exclaimed.
"IT WAS HIS FAULT!" everyone else (excluding Hodgins) exclaimed as they pointed at Hodgins.
"I didn't know the turkey would come alive and try and steal the GPS! It likes Skittles!" Hodgins defended.
"Skittles?" Justin repeated in disbelief.
"Well, at least we know where all the Skittles from the vending machine went," Alex remarked, "Mind putting me down anytime soon? We need to find our friends. They are running out of oxygen as we speak."
That caused Booth to immediately drop Alex and Turkey.
"THAT HURT, YOU STUPID HOBO!" Alex shouted, causing the Turkey to nod in agreement.
"Isn't a turkey meant to be dumb?" Zach asked.
"Isn't Hodgins meant to be smart?" Alex replied.
"Good point ... HEY!" shouted Hodgins as he realised Alex was calling him dumb.
"What? You just admitted that you're stupid and that a turkey is smarter than you!" Alex retorted.
"She has a point, numnuts," Angela nodded in agreement.
"STOP STEALING MY WORDS!" Alex screeched before whispering to Angela, "I thought you like him."
"I do. But he's acting like a retard," Angela observed.
"Correction: HE IS A RETARD!" Alex corrected.
"MY NUTS ARE NOT NUMB!" Hodgins screamed like a little girl.
"TOO MUCH INFO!" Cam cringed.
"OK! Enough with making Hodgins look like a retard when he actually is a retard. WE NEED TO SAVE OUR FRIENDS! And someone wake up my uncle! He looks like a dead hobo on the floor. I think he fainted," Alex remarked.
"hehe. Hobo…," Zack giggled.
"Actually, I knocked him out," Sweets confessed.
"Why did you do that?" Alex demanded.
"He was annoying me," Sweets explained.
"Good point. You are now on my favourite peoples list," Alex proclaimed.
"You have a favourite peoples list?" Sweets repeated.
"I'll fill you in on the list later. Right now…WE NEED TO SAVE BRENNAN AND JAMIE! TO THE CAR! I would say Batmobile, but Batman's gone to get me some cheeseburgers right now so…yeah," Alex said.
"How do you know Batman?" Justin asked.
"I have connections! Seriously! I'm a computer genius! I'm a genius in general! Who do you think fixes Batman's car?" Alex retorted as they headed towards the door.
"Doesn't he fix it himself?" Justin asked.
"No. He's good with technology and stuff but not with cars. Which is funny because he built the Batmobile. He has the butler man to do it when I'm not around. Oh! Don't tell my uncle that I fix Batman's car. There are many things he doesn't need to know," Alex remarked.
"OK! Quick question: WHO'S DRIVING?" Cam asked.
"Well, Booth's passed out. I don't trust Sweets or Hodgins with a car because they'll end up racing people…well, Hodgins will. I don't know about Sweets. Zack can't drive a car. And Angela just doesn't feel like driving. So Cam, you wanna drive?" Alex offered.
"YES!" Cam screamed.
"You like driving my car, don't you?" Alex smirked.
"Yes," Cam nodded as she grabbed the keys and ran like a bat out of hell, "Hold on. Which car do you have today?"
"I think I brought the X-Trail…yeah. It's the X-Trail," Alex recalled, "EVERYBODY IN THE CAR! And somebody drag Booth in."
Suddenly, Booth jumped upright conscious and worried like HELL.
"Have we rescued my girlfriend and daughter?" Booth asked eagerly.
"WHAT?" everyone else exclaimed.
"What? YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER?" Alex screeched.
"Aw shiz," Booth cursed.
"Yeah! Shiz! That's right! Oh! We're here!" Alex shouts as she jumps out through the sunroof onto the ground.
"WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO DO THAT?" Booth demanded.
"I do gymnastics! Seriously, Uncle! Learn these things! Now, from what my GPS is telling me, they're right underneath this car. Anybody at all know how to, like, MOVE this car? OK? Nobody? Nobody? No takers at all? OK. Somebody get me a God damn hairclip!" Alex requested.
"How come you don't have a hairclip?" Angela asked.
"I may be female. But I do not own hairclips. I use hair ties on my hair. Speaking of which, Angela! HIT ME WITH A RIBBON!" Alex shouted.
"Why do you need a ribbon?" Angela asked.
"So I don't set my hair on fire like I did the last time I did this," Alex answered.
"What?" Booth exclaimed.
"ENOUGH TALK! I NEED THE RIBBON AND THE HAIR CLIP! HURRY UP!" Alex shouts as she tied her hair back and ran towards the car.
"What are you doing?" Booth demanded.
"I'm hotwiring a car," Alex said as she worked on the engine.
"How do you know how to hotwire a car?" Booth asked.
"Dad taught me for emergency reasons. Like when someone tries to kidnap me, I can steal their car and getaway," Alex explained.
"OK. I'll let that slide," Booth decided.
"I knew you would. Anyway, Cam! Get in the car and do reverse!" Alex instructed.
Like a giddy school, Cam ran into the car and reversed it, revealing a very large hole and a car.
"Look! I can see Brennan and Jamie! WAAAAAAAAAAH!" Alex shouted as she fell into the hole and landed on Brennan's lap, "Hi, aunty who's not my aunty yet. How ya doing?"
"Jamie's unconscious," Brennan informed.
"Aw shiz," Alex cursed, "BOOTH, GET TO WORK ON THE HOLE AND HELP ME GET JAMIE OUT! SHE'S UNCONSCIOUS!"
"WHAT? MY DAUGHTER'S UNCONSCIOUS?" Booth screeched.
"WHAT?" everyone (except Booth and Brennan) exclaimed.
"I will discuss this with you later, Uncle. First things first: GET HER OUT OF THIS HOLE!" Alex shouted while shaking her fist at her uncle.
Booth runs over, lifts Jamie out and holds her in his arms.
"Touching sight. Now, Brennan, give me your foot," Alex requested.
"Why?" Brennan asked.
"Because it's like this cheerleading move where you put your foot in my hands and I lift you out of this hole," Alex explained.
"You did cheerleading?" Brennan repeated.
"Yes. It was the biggest mistake of my life. We will never speak of it again…that and mum still has the uniform. I don't why. Maybe she's hoping I'll become a cheerleader again. Anyways, JUST DO IT!" Alex screeched as she literally threw Brennan out of the hole, "Now someone help me out of this thing."
Zack just walked over and lifts her out without struggle.
"When did you get so strong?" Alex asked as she poked his arm, "Wow. It's like really cool!"
Zack just smirks. And Justin didn't show any signs of jealousy. Well…he did in his mind but we're not gonna go there. You don't wanna see what resides in Justin's mind. (Bite-Me: Other than like chibi Alexs and Jamies. IceGirl: Yeah. What's up with that? Bite-Me: I don't know. But it's adorable. ONWARD! IceGirl: I wanted to say that. Bite-Me: Don't say my line. IceGirl: LEGGO! Bite-Me: ?)
Alex continues poking his muscle and Zack is still standing there with a smirk on his face. Suddenly, the paramedics came out of nowhere and whisked Brennan and Jamie away to the hospital.
"How did THEY know where we were? Oh. I remember. Gibbs… Anyone know where my Gibbs is?" Alex asked.
"You have a Gibbs?" Justin repeated.
"Yeah. I have a Gibbs," Alex nodded.
"Where can I get a Gibbs?" Justin wanted to know.
"You can't. My Gibbs is just that cool," Alex answered.
2 weeks later…
"Where should we get married?" Justin asked.
"At the local church. I know the pastor. I could ask him to marry us," Jamie answered.
"Sweet," Justin smiled as he kissed her and wrote it all down.
"Hold on. Wait. I just remembered something. Something to do with a wedding…and Jamie's marrying somebody starting with a J," Alex mumbled.
"Yeah. I'm marrying Justin," Jamie announced.
"Oh, that explains the mind blank," Alex remarked.
"Why…?" Jamie trailed off.
"Because whenever you talk about the Bieber boy, I have a mind blank," Alex confessed.
"Bieber boy?" Justin and Jamie repeated.
"Why, yes," Alex nodded eagerly.
"Hey, Alex. I want you to be my maid of honour," Jamie announced.
"Do I have to wear a dress?" Alex asked.
"You can wear a blue one," Jamie singed.
"I hate you and your bribery that always works," Alex grumbled.
"You love me. Who you kidding?" Jamie retorted.
"The world. Your face. Your mum. The list goes on," Alex smirked, "Speaking of parents, BOOTH! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT JAMIE BEING YOUR DAUGHTER!"
To be continued…
Bite-Me: The wedding will be in the next episode.
IceGirl: We're doing episodes now?
Bite-Me: Yeah. Because I said so. Lol
IceGirl: What is it with you and that word?
Bite-Me: It's my favourite word.
IceGirl: I thought hobo was your favourite word.
Bite-Me: It's one of my many favourite words.
IceGirl: You have many favourite words?
Bite-Me: Yes. Because I am that awesome.
IceGirl: My favourite word is .
Bite-Me: Don't say that word.
IceGirl: What word?
Bite-Me: The word.
IceGirl: You mean ?
Bite-Me: Hellz yeah! OK. That's all from us.
IceGirl and Bite-Me: BYE!And he has his butler man. He must