A/N – so, this is it. The date. Thank you so much for every review, favourite, follow and PM I've received for this story. I honestly never expected such a lovely reaction. I hope you enjoy the final chapter. The song lyrics are Otis Redding's 'These Arms of Mine'; beautiful song.
EmmyLou74, Bamie02, Bookdiva – thank you for your ideas, thoughts and reading this over for me. Much appreciated. X
May well do an epilogue at some point, a year later, the following Valentine's Day…
xoxoxoxoxoxooxo
I cannot believe I am actually doing this. Delivering dinner for him and his date? Am I mad? Kensi stamped sullenly along the beach, heading to the place where they had spent so much time; laughing, talking, getting to know each other. Will she be there already? He'll introduce us and I'll have to be friendly. Kensi was pleased she had taken a little extra time over her appearance and felt confident that although she was dressed casually in jeans and a T shirt, she looked nice. She refused to dwell on why she had worn her hair down, and wavy, or admit she had worn his grey hoodie in the hope the Barbie girl would recognise it as Deeks.
Approaching their spot, Kensi immediately noticed Deeks, stood at the water's edge with his back to her, gazing out over the ocean, Monty leaning against his leg. Oh, he's wearing the black shirt after all. Damn, he looks good in it. She glanced around anxiously, searching for his date and, not seeing a woman near him, was relieved at the prospect of delivering dinner and leaving before having to meet the person who had captured Deeks' heart.
Monty gave an excited bark when he saw Kensi and started to run towards her, churning up little puffs of sand in his wake. Deeks turned, and catching Kensi's eyes, started to walk slowly towards her, running one hand repeatedly through the hair at the back of his head. He appeared to exhale deeply.
Why does he look so anxious? It's only me. Why is he nervous about me being here? He asked me to come. He's expecting me. Kensi stood stock still as unexpected thoughts catapulted to the front of her mind. It can't be? Surely?
The distance between them continued to diminish in time with Deeks' steady steps until he stopped an arm's length away from her, neither knowing quite what to say. Finally Deeks broke the silence and, lifting his hand, held a single long stemmed rose in her direction.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Kens." He smiled shyly.
Colliding memories from the last week caused Kensi to sharply inhale a much needed breath, before she looked at Deeks with an astonished expression, recollecting comments he had made about his date and his actions over the past few days. His eagerness to understand what would make my Valentine's Day special, the hoodie, heart shaped pancakes, Edelweiss chocolates, the nearly kiss, dancing, the song he chose, singing to me, the beautiful quotes, holding me tightly whilst he slept, stroking my hair, the photograph by his bed, When Harry Met Sally, referring to me as Mummy to Monty, the black shirt he's now wearing. She heard him whisper, 'I would always choose my every day Kens'. I'm his every day. He would choose me.
The final piece of the jigsaw fell into place when Deeks' words from earlier echoed in her mind. "At least then we'll know". And at last, in a moment of clarity, it all became clear. Deeks stood before her, waiting patiently for her to figure everything out, trying to gauge her reaction so he would finally know how she felt about him and what she wanted for them.
Linking her hands together to stop them shaking, Kensi lifted her chin and firmly asked, "What is her name?"
"Kensi Marie Blye." Deeks' simple response and vulnerable smile was enough to propel Kensi forwards. She took the proffered rose, causing their fingers to fleetingly touch and moved effortlessly into his embrace, winding her arms around his neck.
"Thank god." She muttered.
Deeks held her tighter in response. "Right back at you, Kensalina."
Breaking apart, Deeks grabbed the food bags from where Kensi had dropped them on the sand, and led her to their picnic spot. He placed their meal on the large plaid blanket and touched the iPod nestled on the top of his bag before holding out a hand to Kensi. The song began to play in the night air.
These arms of mine they are lonely
Lonely and feeling blue, these arms of mine
They are yearning, yearning from wanting you
"Dance with me?" He asked.
There was no hesitation from Kensi, unlike 24 hours previously and she nodded her agreement before placing her palm in his.
And if you would let them hold you
Oh, how grateful I will be
Determined to prove she was happy to be in his arms, Kensi pushed her body against his and rested her forehead in the crook of his neck.
These arms of mine they are burning
Burning from wanting you, these arms of mine
They are wanting, wanting to hold you
Moving slowly to the soulful sound, Kensi trusted Deeks' sincerity in his choice of song. Appreciating the openness of what was happening between them, without the chance of reprisal or interruption, Deeks stroked the hair on Kensi's temple as his thumb brushed her cheek and felt a shiver run through his body when her fingers splayed over his heart.
And if you would let them hold you
Oh, how grateful I will be
Both felt an overwhelming sense of relief; Kensi, because there was no other woman in Deeks' life, and Deeks, because his gamble had paid off and instead of ruining their partnership and friendship, they were now on the brink of something bigger, better, their future. Knowing at some point in the evening, he would seek to verbally establish a change in their relationship status, and apprehensive about Kensi's reaction to that, he gratefully accepted, for the moment, how she seemed content to hold, and be held by, him as they relaxed against each other.
Come on, come on baby
Just be my little woman
Just be my lover I need somebody,
Somebody to treat me right
I need your warm loving arms to hold me tight
And I need you tender lips too
Hold me, hold me
After the song ended, the partners stayed wrapped together for what felt like hours, before they eventually pulled apart and simply stood, smiling coyly at each other.
"You lied to me."
Deeks had the good grace to look a little shame faced. "It was for your own good."
Kensi's eyebrows shot up. "How's that exactly?"
"Would you have come if I'd asked you straight out on Monday?"
"Probably not." Kensi admitted to a satisfied looking Deeks.
"And there you go. For your own good." Seeing Kensi was about to respond and not wanting to get into a debate about his tactics for arranging this evening, Deeks hastily changed the subject. "Shall we eat?"
Easily distracted by the temptation of dinner, Kensi let Deeks manoeuvre her to the blanket and sat down eagerly. "Absolutely. It smelled so good when I collected it. What are we having?"
Before Deeks could answer, Kensi took her first proper look at her surroundings. Her eyes took in the dozen jam jars sitting in the sand, filled with tea lights which were exuding a soft, romantic glow and she noted an ice bucket and two champagne flutes. She saw a heap of blankets and cushions waiting to be snuggled against and then noticed several small stuffed animals dotted around the edge of the blanket. "Hey Deeks, what's with the animals?"
Moving to sit opposite her, Deeks spread out cartons, cutlery and paper napkins. "You said you like first dates at the zoo. Best I could do at this time of night. I'd like you to meet my friends; giraffe, elephant, crocodile and monkey.
"Which makes you…?"
Grinning, Deeks released the cork from the champagne bottle. "The jungle cat, obviously."
"Obviously." Kensi nodded solemnly in agreement, her mouth twitching at the corners.
"If I remember correctly you also like men with their own teeth, no criminal record and an absence of back hair. I'd say I was ticking all the boxes so far, wouldn't you?!"
Unable to contain her joy any longer, Kensi snorted with laughter before becoming more serious and reaching to squeeze Deeks' hand. "I would. Everything seems pretty wonderful, Deeks." She re-settled herself in a sitting position. "So, what's for dinner? Bound to be great, it's from Lorenzo's."
Having eaten Lorenzo's food together on numerous occasions, Deeks was confident in his choices. He affected an attempt at an Italian accent. "We have traditional antipasti of salami, parma ham, artichoke, olives and fried pecorino cheese followed by Fettuccine Alfredo, the pasta has been hand made by Roberto then tossed with butter, cream and parmesan, served with a garden salad and freshly made focaccia bread."
"Dessert?" Kensi questioned.
Deeks looked amused, rather than surprised. "Really Kens? All that amazing savoury deliciousness and you're already focussed on dessert?"
"Uh-huh. I seem to remember suggesting you make something chocolatey."
Refusing to divulge what was for dessert, Deeks shook his head and started to share some of the parma ham with Monty.
The next 30 minutes were spent simply eating and enjoying each other's company. Deeks was content to revel in Kensi's pleasure which was evident through a variety of moans and mumbled appreciative comments. To Kensi's satisfaction, there was no awkwardness, no focus on the blatant shift in their connection, only laughter and chatter and unbelievably good Italian food.
"Did you make this?" Kensi asked, practically salivating at the sight of the large, sticky chocolate cake.
"Of course. I even made the chocolate sauce to go with it." Deeks replied, gratified at her reaction.
With barely a pause, Kensi sampled the dessert. "That is incredible, Deeks. If you promised to make that regularly I'd even forgo the 'own teeth' requirement." She wiggled her fingers at Deeks, indicating they were covered in chocolate cake. "I need a cloth."
"No, you don't." Deeks responded in a low voice and before Kensi was able to question why not, he knelt closer to her and gently lifted her hand to his mouth, slowly and erotically taking each finger in turn between his lips and sucking them clean.
Unable to tear her eyes from his, Kensi sat mesmerised until he had finished his task.
"Better?" Deeks asked. Unsure if her voice was functioning, Kensi merely nodded in response.
They were now sat closely, facing each other. The easy, relaxed atmosphere of a few moments before had evaporated and there was now a definite frisson between them. Although she had been envisaging when he may kiss her, Kensi's anxiety levels were rising. She knew a kiss, their first real kiss, would irrevocably change the course of their relationship and despite everything that had happened between them over the past few days, and the unspoken acknowledgement this evening that things were changing, she realised that once they kissed, there was no going back.
Knowing her so well, Deeks sensed Kensi's nervousness and pulled back. He was determined to give her the space she needed to feel comfortable with the direction they were taking. "Want your gift?"
Grateful for Deeks' patience and understanding, Kensi's eyes lit up momentarily at the thought of what he may have bought her, before clouding over slightly. "But I didn't get you anything."
"You're here, Kens. I don't need anything else."
Kensi raised one eyebrow slightly. Deeks grinned in response. "Ok, cheesy I know. But true."
He produced a small box from his bag and returned to sit opposite her, mirroring her cross legged pose so their knees were touching. "Open it."
With trembling hands Kensi raised the lid of the box and carefully lifted out a delicate gold chain. Her other hand caught the charms hanging from the necklace and, realising what they were, she bit her lip to stop it wobbling. She sat in silence, blinking furiously to clear the moisture from her eyes.
Deeks sounded uncertain. "Kens?" She looked up at him, one solitary tear sliding down her cheek, betraying her emotions. "Oh god, Kensi, I didn't mean to upset you. I, I just thought, well, it's supposed to represent you and me. You know, that I'm always with you, I'm not going anywhere, nothing can separate us."
Kensi looked down and touched the two small interlinking Ps, sitting in her hand. "P is for Partner?" She whispered.
"P is for Partner." Deeks concurred. "Do you, do you like it?"
"It's lovely." In a very unladylike fashion, Kensi wiped her hand over her nose and eyes. "Will you put it on for me?"
She turned round so her back was towards Deeks and pulled her hair upwards, away from her body. Deeks fumbled clumsily before resting his lips over the necklace's clasp. His mouth progressed slowly, pausing briefly beneath her left ear, en route to her collar bone, then trailing upwards and repeating the movements along the other side of her neck. As Deeks' fingertips ghosted over her arms to interlink with her own, across her waist, drawing her against him, Kensi's body reacted instinctively; goosebumps rising, nerves tingling, and heart racing. She gasped involuntarily and spun to face Deeks.
"Come on, let's go for a walk." Deeks effortlessly returned them to safer ground, whistling to Monty and holding his hand out to Kensi, who grabbed it gratefully as they set out walking along the shore, the water twinkling like it contained hundreds of diamonds, sparkling in the moonlight. They walked mainly in comfortable silence, the quiet only broken by the occasional comment to Monty who continued to run enthusiastically through the water.
"Thank you for this evening. It took me by surprise but in a good way. You are very sneaky."
"I prefer stealthy." He tugged them to a halt, stepping in front of Kensi.
"I prefer honesty."
Deeks frowned, "Really Kens? Because…" and then stopped suddenly, pressing his lips together to prevent his thoughts from spilling out.
"What?" Kensi queried. "Go on, what were you going to say?"
Deeks mouth suddenly felt inexplicably dry and he glanced quickly at his feet before raising his head and locking eyes with Kensi. "It's just, that, well, I'm not sure you and I are ever, you know, totally honest with each other."
"You know more about me than anyone, Deeks." Kensi said quietly.
"And you know a lot, probably too much, about me. That's different. What I'm trying to say is we never express how we really feel. About each other."
"Oh."
"Yes, oh." Deeks replied with a slight shake of his head. "This went better in my head. It would appear our communication skills are as outstanding as always."
Kensi smiled encouragingly in response. "Did you want to say something? About how you, um, well, how you feel about me?"
"Did you want to say something about your feelings for me?"
"Feelings? I, er, now, well, you should go first. Feelings?" Kensi spluttered, confirming Deeks' suspicions that he was going to have to be the one to nudge them over the line separating 'partners and friends' from 'something more'.
"Ok. Now is as good a time as any." Deeks took a deep breath and stroked a stray wisp of Kensi's hair behind her ear. "I'm tired of pretending."
"So am I." Kensi responded, taking a discreet step closer to him.
With his courage bolstered, Deeks continued. "I want to date you."
"You do?" Kensi blushed and grinned at him.
He beamed back at her, nodding emphatically. "You knew that, right?"
"Not exactly." Kensi shrugged, trying to brush away her lack of awareness of the situation.
"But Kens, everybody knows that, from Monty to Hetty to my next door neighbour. How come you, super smart Special Agent Kensi Blye, didn't realise that?"
Kensi rolled her eyes. "Well, for starters, you've spent the last week rather convincingly pretending you were excited about a romantic valentine's tryst with someone else. In fact, you even had me help plan it. For future reference Romeo, that is not the best way to convince a girl you want to date her. "
"Touché." Deeks flicked his head, subtly moving his fringe from his eyes.
After what felt like an eternity, stood, looking at each other, Deeks felt a wave of uncertainty crash over him as Kensi start to turn away, to continue walking along the beach.
He quickly reached out and brushed his hand against hers, clutching the tips of her fingers against his palm. "Kens?"
"So, you really wanna date me, huh?" She questioned, smiling, tilting her head to the left a little, as she continued to process their recent conversation.
"For starters, yes."
"For, for starters?"
"Yes, we should date, officially, at least for a few months before we move in together…"
He stopped talking abruptly as he saw Kensi swallow hard and her eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline, before she tried to back away.
"No, no." Deeks remained in the same spot and refused to let go of her hand, which meant Kensi was unable to walk off. "What's happening here?"
"I don't know, Deeks. You tell me. One minute we're talking about starting to date and the next, the next, the next minute it feels like you're about to tell me how we'll be spending the next 50 years."
"I'm sorry. I just, you know, I think about stuff." He smiled, trying to lighten the atmosphere between them. "You know how it is - you're at work, waiting for the bad guys to take a shot at you and your mind wanders."
Kensi's mouth curled slightly upwards as she stepped back towards him. "Deeks, do you have a master plan for the rest of our lives before we've even been on a date?"
"C'mon, you've never thought about us, a future?" Kensi's flushed cheeks and lack of response was enough to make Deeks chuckle and regain his composure.
"Ok." Kensi admitted. "I may have thought a little about future stuff but definitely not with timescales attached."
"Like what sort of stuff?" Deeks insisted.
Kensi shook the image of Deeks chasing a beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed little boy across the sand from her mind. "Er, you know, like maybe taking that trip to Australia." She smirked at him. "Or what take out we'll order tomorrow, if Monty will continue to prefer me to you, whether you'll buy more awful plaid shirts instead of sticking to those v neck t-shirts which suit you much better."
Deeks interrupted Kensi. "You think I look good in those t-shirts?"
"You know you do." She glanced at the sand before raising her chin to look at him. "Seriously though Deeks, I like the idea of us being together but I'm happy not knowing exactly how that is going to unfold. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but if you want to be with me, then you're going to have to deal that."
Deeks nodded. "I can deal with that." His fingers slipped between hers and he squeezed them lightly. "But can you deal with the fact that I'm not going to stop planning my future with you, because I know we're going to end up together? If that scares you, then tough. That's how it's going to be if you want to be with me."
"I can deal with that." She repeated back to him, clutching his hand in return.
"Just as well. I am so totally in love with you, Kens."
"You better kiss me then."
Deeks laughed with happiness at the sudden change in tone, from serious to flirty, between them. "That, I can totally do."
With no hesitation, Kensi tipped her face up; looking at Deeks as he lovingly brought his hands to her face, one cradling her cheek, the other slipping into her hair and tugging her smoothly towards him. They drew closer together until only their breath separated them. Kensi felt Deeks whisper against her mouth. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." He sensed her smile in response as he leaned forward and kissed her, slowly, reverently, no longer quite so surprised that this was happening, that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. And in that moment, neither of them moved, neither of them breathed. They just existed together. Any remaining tension melted away as the kiss became the most honest, truthful moment they'd ever shared. His hand fell from her cheek as he moved to encircle her waist, anchoring her to him as they broke apart, breathing raggedly, resting their foreheads together.
"Wow." Deeks sighed shakily. "That was worth the wait. And I don't just mean tonight, or this week." He pressed his lips softly to Kensi's once more. "Come on, let's go spend some quality time with the slanket and watch the fireworks."
"Fireworks? I love fireworks. They remind me of fourth of July parties as a little girl."
"I'd love to take the credit but there are fireworks on the beach every Valentine's Day." Kensi raised her eyebrows at him. "Riiight, you wouldn't know that because you never go out on Valentine's Day."
"Exactly."
"Still hate Valentine's Day?"
"Not so much. I'm beginning to see the appeal."
The fireworks began to explode in the sky just as Kensi and Deeks returned to their picnic spot. Hurriedly, Deeks grabbed his soft, sea green slanket and pulled Kensi onto the pile of cushions, ensuring they were cosy and comfortable for the display. Kensi's head settled comfortably on Deeks' chest and his arms wrapped around her, holding her close to his body. He intermittently dropped feather light kisses into her hair. Monty lay contentedly by their feet.
It was proving difficult for Kensi to concentrate on the fireworks as the evening's events were spinning through her mind and she was still reflecting on the magnitude of Deeks' actions and words. Her relief at finally having admitted her feelings to Deeks and his blatant reciprocation were tempered by her anxieties over the extent to which their relationship would consequently change.
"Deeks, can I ask you about our, our…"
"Thing? Our thing?"
"Yes, our thing."
"What's bothering you Agent Blye? You can tell me anything."
"Well, tonight has changed everything, so what exactly, you know, what are we now?"
"Tonight has changed nothing and everything." Kensi bit her lip, unsure what he was going to say. "You are my best friend, Kens. I know you, to the very depths of your soul, just as you know me. We are already a constant in each other's lives. Monty thinks you're his Mummy, I go with you more often than not when you visit your Mother, I cook for you, your clothes are littered all over my apartment, our time outside work is spent together doing things we both enjoy and when we are apart, we're in touch via text. Your bizarro sense of humour makes me laugh, we trust each other, and I can't remember when either of us dated someone else. I love you, I'm pretty sure you love me."
Deeks toyed with the P charms lying against her chest and leaned over to kiss her warmly. "As far as I'm concerned, we've been in a relationship for a long time, we're just admitting it tonight. And the only thing that's going to change is there'll be some more of this…" He kissed her lazily, moving his mouth against hers in a kiss so slow and so thorough she made a small humming sound of approval. "And definitely a lot more of this…" One hand slid into her hair, cradling the back of her head as his body eased over hers. His mouth moved down her neck, dropping lingering kisses here and there, lips caressing the soft curve of her jaw, nibbling at her ear lobe until he discovered a sensitive spot that made her shudder, dipping his tongue into the hollow at the base of her throat. Kensi whimpered and clung to him when she felt his right hand begin to explore under her t-shirt, tracing circles from her hip bone upwards towards her ribs, shifting her legs so he could fit snugly against her hips. A growl rumbled in Deeks' throat and tearing his mouth from hers, Deeks breathed heavily as he gazed at her. "You're driving me crazy."
Kensi laughed. "And we both know that's nothing new. Leos do that to Capricorns apparently."
Smiling and dropping a kiss on her nose, Deeks rolled to the side and leant up on one elbow, gazing at her. "We're just us Kens. Same as always; Kensi and Deeks. The relationship we'll have from now on is simply an enhanced version of what we already had. An extension of us."
Deeks looked up at the array of colours lighting up the sky. "We were good before, but this, us, together as partners, friends, lovers, soulmates? We are going to be amazing."
"Love is friendship set to music. E. Joseph Crossmann." Kensi thought of the perfect quote.
"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand. Ella Wheeler Wilcox." Deeks shot back.
The crescendo of the firework display was neglected by Kensi and Deeks who were far more interested in their new found freedom to kiss and touch each other and to whisper whatever thoughts came to mind. It wasn't much later however that the breeze in the air couldn't be ignored any longer, the slanket and their body heat not enough to prevent the chill sneaking over them.
Reluctantly, Kensi and Deeks crept out from under the covers and began to pack away the evidence of their romantic evening. Deeks blew out the tea lights, Kensi gathered plates and cutlery.
"Are we going to take all this with us?" Kensi asked, wondering how they would manage everything between them.
"Nope. I have a friend on standby ready to collect it all as soon as I text him." Deeks replied, pleased with the arrangements he had made.
Kensi picked up the rose. "I want to take this with me now. It's so beautiful, I've never seen one like it."
Deeks looked up from collecting the stuffed animals. "An orange rose with a red tip symbolises friendship and falling in love."
"You really thought of everything tonight. I can't begin to tell you how perfect it's been."
"Really? Perfect?"
"Well, I was kinda hoping for some original poetry, I've heard previous examples of your work…"
"That reminds me, I almost forgot. I came prepared." Deeks guided Kensi to sit back down. He pulled a piece of paper from the back pocket of his jeans and cleared his throat. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I wanna be at my place, right now, with you."
Kensi's delighted laugh rang out in the night air. "That's it?"
Deeks smirked. "It seemed longer when I was writing it. Probably sounds better, like in Latin."
Grabbing his hand, letting Deeks haul her off the cushions, Kensi kissed him on the cheek and smiled. "Let's go Partner. Let's go home."