A/N: You know I said this slow burn is killing me? Well, it's still killing me.

Anyway, thank you Carley for your sweet review, so glad you're enjoying it and yay at it being the favourite so far - shows I'm improving!

Please give me your thoughts, as ever I would be so very grateful!

:)

VII

Lottie took a deep breath as she drew the bow back under her chin, her eyes narrowing as they focused on the target. Imagine his ugly face, that's what Arya always told her. She loosed then and the arrow flew perfectly through the air and landed almost in the middle of the target. Somehow she refrained from jumping up and down. Finally, she had finally hit an almost perfect shot and just typically no one was out there to see it.

"Put that down Charlotte – that is no such toy for a young Lady."

"That was well struck my Lady," a voice sounded behind her and she whirled around.

"Thank you," she smiled at the strange man, "forgive me … I do not think we have met?"

"Ser Johan, my Lady," he bowed slightly to her.

"Please Ser, Lottie is just fine," she corrected him.

"Well met Lottie," he smiled and she returned it.

"I've seen you here a few times … with Lady Arya or the King," he commented.

"They do their best, but I think I am a trying student," she returned and he chuckled lightly.

"You hit it well enough," he complimented.

"Yes, but only when no one is around," she explained.

"Aah, you do not like an audience," he grinned.

"No," she agreed, "so I would be just useless in battle"

"I don't think useless is quite the word I would use," he said.

"No?" she questioned, "What use do you think I could be?"

"You could dazzle all our enemies with your beauty," he grinned at her and she snorted.

"You flatter me Ser," she said, turning back to the archery target.

"Johan is just fine," he returned and she smiled widely as she notched another arrow.

Johan didn't say anything as she picked another arrow from the barrel and notched it into her bow but she could feel his eyes burning into her back and she fought the urge to blush. It had been such a long time since a man had looked at her like that – as though she was the most desirable woman in the world. Even Lyndon hadn't looked at her like that – well, perhaps after a few glasses of fine Dornish wine he did. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised she had not seen that look in so long, the only man she really spent any time with was Robb and he wasn't ready to look at any woman like that.

Lottie loosed the arrow then and it landed even closer than her previous one and this time she couldn't help but let out a delighted shriek. She heard Johan laughing behind her and she turned around to face him, her cheeks slightly flushed with excitement.

"Did you see that?!" she exclaimed.

"Yes … it seems you're not afraid of an audience after all," he grinned.

"Perhaps not," she said almost breathlessly.

"Or perhaps you just had the wrong teacher?" he suggested with a raised brow.

Lottie really did flush then, dropping her eyes from his as she saw the intense, searching look that he was giving her. His comment may have been an innocent one but the meaning that dripped from his words was far from it. She wasn't quite sure how that made her feel - besides embarrassed. She had once thought that perhaps a kind Northman would take a shine to her and now it seemed one had. For some reason though it didn't make her quite as happy as she would have thought it would. Perhaps it was the wrong Northman, she though, but pushed it away instantly. It would do no good to think like that.

"Don't let the Lady Arya hear you say that," she managed after a moment.

"Hear you say what?" Arya herself asked then, appearing almost from nowhere.

"Uhm …" Lottie faltered.

"I was just saying how I have no time for the bow," Johan said smoothly.

"Really?" Arya raised a brow, "Perhaps I'll take you on with the sword later?"

"I look forward to it my Lady," he grinned.

"Go on then," Arya turned to Lottie, "let's see how much you've improved"

Lottie took a deep breath before selecting another arrow and notching it. As she drew it back though she noticed Robb walking along the perimeter of the yard with his head bowed. She frowned slightly as she tried to focus on the target but Robb was all that consumed her mind. She knew him well enough by now to know that something was troubling him. Without thinking she loosed the arrow.

"Oh come on!" Arya's exasperated voice sounded.

"I'm sorry," Lottie said distractedly, hurriedly putting aside the bow.

"It's like you've regressed six months!" she moaned at her.

"Sorry," Lottie said again, "I'm sorry Arya I have to go … I just remembered …"

She didn't bother finishing, she just hurried off in the direction Robb had gone – knowing that he would be heading out towards the Godswood. Arya sighed in exasperation as she watched her hurrying away, she had been getting good but that arrow had been completely off target.

"She was doing fine before you turned up," Johan commented and she glared at him.

"Sword?" she asked him.

"You're on," he grinned and they both went to the rack to pull out blunted practice swords.

"You know it will do nothing for your reputation if you're beaten by a girl," Arya taunted.

"My reputation is tarnished enough already," he winked.

"Yes by women," she said, rolling her eyes as they began to circle one another.

"They can't resist me," he winked again, "speaking of which … what's Lottie's story?"

"You stay away from her," she said darkly.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Because she deserves better than a letch like you," she said pointedly.

"I could give up whoring for a beauty like her," he said and she snorted.

"The Seven Hells would freeze over first," she said scathingly.

"Or maybe it's that she's already spoken for," he said with a raised brow.

"What do you mean?" Arya frowned.

"They say she spends an awful lot of time with the King," he said suggestively.

"They're friends, Robb is still grieving for his wife," she told him angrily.

"Men don't grieve forever, especially when there's women like Lottie to be had," he countered, bringing up his sword to meet Arya's furious swing.

Lottie approached the heart tree quietly, she didn't want to disturb Robb if he had merely come out to pray. He was knelt there in front of it and she was about to turn and walk away when she saw that his body was shaking with silent sobs. Knowing he was hurting made her own heart wrench and she approached him at once – there was no way in the Seven Hells she could just leave him out here in the state he was in. She knelt down next to him without a word and lay a hand gently on his shoulder. He jumped at her touch and lifted his shining eyes to hers, for some reason seeing her looking at him in such concern made him break down even more.

"Oh Gods Robb … whatever's happened?" she asked him almost desperately.

"Nothing …" he choked, inhaling in a deep, shuddering breath, "it's just …"

"Just what?!" she pleaded, desperate to know what was wrong so she could help him.

"If she …" he choked, "… if she had … we would … we would … our … baby … she would have …"

"She would have had the baby," she whispered in understanding and he nodded vigorously, a fresh wave of tears coming over him.

She didn't know what to do. Suddenly laying a sympathetic hand on his shoulder didn't seem nearly enough. He was hurting. He was hurting so damn much it was killing her to see it. She had never seen a man break down as he was. She had never seen a man deserve it less. Without thinking she wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders and in an instant his own were around her, his hands gripping around her waist tightly, his head buried in the crook of her neck as he sobbed even harder.

"Men don't show weakness Charlotte. Tears are a woman's weapon. If you want to earn a man's respect you need to make yourself as cold as he is. Cold to everything – especially weaknesses like tears and sadness."

Oh shut up mother, Lottie snapped at the voice in her head as she clutched Robb even closer to her, feeling his tears against the skin of her neck. She ran her hands soothingly up and down his back then in the same motion she had always used to calm Arthur when he had been screaming. It seemed to work on grown men as well as babies as eventually Robb began to calm, slowly managing to stop his tears as she held him. Even when her neck was dry and his tears were subsided he still made no move to leave her embrace and she made no move to release him.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his warm breath tickling her neck.

"Don't you dare apologise to me," she scolded him lightly.

"It's just … I dreamt of her last night, for the first time in weeks and when I woke up and realised how long it had been …" he tailed off.

"You realised," she finished for him.

"I should be a father now," he said quietly, his fingers clenching around her waist.

"I know," she soothed, "I know … and it's so cruel that you're not"

"I shouldn't be putting this on you," he scolded himself then.

"Why shouldn't you?" she questioned him.

"You have your own battles," he said quietly.

"And you help me with them," she told him firmly, "I would do the same for you"

"You have no idea what that means to me," he whispered.

"I do," she whispered back, "because it means exactly the same to me"

They lapsed into silence then, their arms still around one another as they knelt there in front of the heart tree. It didn't feel strange. It felt peaceful and comforting. Robb had found a solace in her arms that even the Godswood had not been able to provide him with and he thanked the Gods silently over and over for her as she kept on holding him.

"You're going to be the most wonderful father Robb … I just know it."

He clutched Lottie even closer, some part of him just didn't want to let her go.

Maester Vernon had told Catelyn that she would find Robb out in the Godswood. He had confessed that her son had seemed agitated and a little upset and so she had set off out there at once. Robb had been getting so much better lately and she hated to think of him upset and alone in front of the heart tree. She still did not feel comfortable out there in the Godswood but her son's feelings were far more important that her own at this point. As she walked she tried to block out the memory of Robb's roar of pain when he had found Roslin dead on the ground. How she would ever forget it she didn't know. He had sounded like a wounded animal, a man who had torn his own heart out. Her death had almost broken him, there had been some days she wasn't even sure he even wanted to live anymore.

"Robb will you please eat something," she pleaded with him.

"I'm not hungry," he said dully.

"You've not touched a thing in three days," she persisted.

"I'm not hungry," he repeated.

"You have to eat Robb!" she almost snapped out of sheer desperation.

"What's the point?!" he burst out, his eyes finally moving to meet hers.

"Roslin wouldn't want this Robb," she whispered, shaking her head sadly.

It was true, Catelyn knew that, Roslin would not have wanted him to pine away for her and make himself sick and weak. She would have wanted him to live. She had loved him far too much to have ever wanted anything else for him but happiness. Catelyn could see that clearly – she just wished she could find some way to get it through to Robb. The Lords were coming soon and she would bet half of Winterfell that they would bring up the idea of him remarrying. She knew damn well he wouldn't take that well and she could only hope that he was prepared for it and would not lose his temper with them. It was only natural that they urged him to move on. Robb needed an heir for the North as much as for himself – it was not just the future of his own line he had to think about.

"The one thing I want more than anything is for Robb to be happy, after everything he has been through he so deserves to be happy Lady Stark."

Roslin had had no idea how true those words were when she had spoken them.

The Gods were cruel indeed.

She froze then as she rounded the corner into the Godswood. Robb was there as she had been told he would be but he was far from alone. Lottie had her arms firmly around him and he had his around her. Catelyn toyed with the idea of marching right up to them and demanding an explanation. She dismissed it at once though, causing a scene would do no good. Besides, what exactly could he accuse Robb of? It was only an embrace. She hadn't seen their lips touch or seen them pressed up against one another in some darkened hallway. All he would do was tell her for the thousandth time that they were merely friends and she would nod and smile and pretend to believe him just like she did all the other times.

She would have to think of something though, and think it fast. She turned and walked away from the Godswood then – she knew she didn't like the place.

"… he so deserves to be happy …"

Not with her, Catelyn vowed, not with that woman.

She stepped forward slowly, her steps shaking slightly as she stepped out of the pool of silk that had been her under-shift. The men had left that on her at his request but he had just unthread the ties and let it drop. She let her eyes wander his bare chest then and he made no move to touch her, he didn't want her to feel any pressure, he didn't want to go too quickly. He heard her sharp intake of breath as she stopped less than an inch from him, her hand coming tentatively to trace the scar that ran from his ribs down to his stomach.

"Did it hurt?" she whispered as he shuddered under her gentle touch.

"I don't much remember it now," he told her honestly.

"You're very brave," she breathed, "I am so lucky to have such a brave husband"

He didn't know what to say to that so he settled for bending his head down and kissing her, her lips working so perfectly with his as he let his hands go to her waist, her own snaking up over his shoulders. She was consuming him now and he was guiding her back, back towards the bed …

Robb pulled his robe about him and turned away from the mirror. He had been getting ready for bed when he had caught sight of his scar in the mirror and in the next instant he couldn't stop thinking about that night. That perfect night. The night she truly became his. Weeks he had gone without memories creeping up on him – for weeks he had only thought of her when he wanted to, only conjuring up the memories he wanted to see. Today though they came at him one after the other and each one felt like a dagger in the gut, slowly twisting and turning just to prolong the agony.

He had felt better with Lottie there. She wasn't with him now though, she was tucked away in the west wing no doubt asleep. He felt almost envious of her and then he felt guilty. He knew damn well that Lottie suffered from dreams and horrible memories just as he did. He threw himself down on the bed then and forced himself to close his eyes. It would do no good. He knew it wouldn't. He let them open again and tried to focus on something else.

Anything else.

Lottie. He sighed. She was consuming him more and more and it was getting harder and harder to think of her as a mere friend. He was in no way ready to confront those feelings though. Not with Roslin still haunting him. He would be no good to any woman until he could control the overwhelming sadness and longing he felt for her. Vaguely he wondered how she would feel about him moving on with his life with another.

"I forgive you Robb … I love you."

"I know I shouldn't be here," he said at once when she opened the door.

"No," she agreed, pulling her robe tighter around her as she shivered slightly.

"I couldn't sleep," he told her.

"So you came here?" she questioned him with a raised brow.

"I don't want anything from you," he said hurriedly.

"Robb …" she tailed off, looking at the desperate look in his eyes.

"It's just earlier, in the Godswood, with you … I could block it out for a while," he said sadly.

"Come in," she said softly, stepping aside so he could enter the room.

"I know it's a lot to ask … but would you consider letting me stay?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?" she asked uneasily.

"I just want to hold onto someone," he confessed.

"Someone?" she repeated.

"No," he shook his head, "not someone … you"

"Robb …" she frowned, this was crossing some kind of boundary. Surely he could feel it too?

"I know," he whispered, "I know Lottie … but I swear, I won't try anything … I just need you"

"Just to hold?" she checked with him, her eyes meeting his.

"Just to sleep," he nodded, not moving his gaze from hers.

"Just tonight?" she whispered, taking a step closer to him.

"Just tonight," he confirmed and she took his hand and led him to the bed.

They were both slightly awkward as they climbed beneath the sheets and furs. Lottie had never shared a bed with anyone but her husband before and she had never thought she would. Not like this anyway, and certainly not with a King. She tried to calm her thudding heart as she settled down against the pillows, feeling Robb doing the same next to her. After a few moments of silence she finally turned her head to face him and sensing her movement he did the same. They stared evenly at one another for a moment until he finally, tentatively, turned onto his side and inched closer to her, his eyes not leaving hers.

Robb swallowed hard when he was mere inches from Lottie. Ever so slowly, his eyes still on hers he reached out an arm to touch her waist. Lottie's heart seemed to skip, her stomach clenching with something that wasn't quite discomfort as he moved so his chest was pressed against her side.

"Is this okay?" he whispered through the darkness.

"Yes," she breathed back, her heart thumping.

"Tell me if you feel uncomfortable," he urged her.

"It's fine Robb," she reassured him and after a moment he moved his head to settle on her chest.

It was intimate where his head was lying, right between her breasts that only had a thin layer of silk covering them. Somehow it didn't feel lecherous though what he was doing, it didn't feel like he was seeking out anything other than comfort by laying where he did. No doubt he could hear her heart; perhaps it was the steady rhythm of it that he sought out.

He counted the beats of her heart as he lay there, feeling one of her hands lay across the arm he had across her waist and the other come and lightly rest in his hair. He sighed in contentment then, breathing in the scent of her that was not quite like anything else he had even encountered. His eyes were heavy with sleep then and he twitched his arm a little tighter around her waist, feeling her hand clench slightly more around his forearm in response.

"Goodnight Lottie," he breathed against her.

"Goodnight Robb," she whispered back, allowing her own eyes to close.

Robb was gone when she woke and part of her was glad she wouldn't have to face the awkward uncertainty of waking up with another person in her bed. Not just any person either. Robb. The King in the North. She groaned slightly then and pulled the furs further around her, rolling herself up tightly in them and inhaling the scent of him that was left behind. It was such a comforting scent. It had been so easy to fall asleep with him. Far too easy.

The other part of her wished that he was still with her, that the heavy weight of his head was still pressed up against her chest, his thick fingers still clenched slightly in the skin of her hip. She shuddered then despite being all snuggly bundled up in furs. How could she miss sleeping at someone's side after just one night of it? She had never missed Lyndon's presence all the nights he was absent from her bed. Sleeping alone had never bothered her and yet now the thought of spending another night alone in such a vast space was an incredible daunting one. She rolled over determinedly and tried to ignore her feelings.

They could scream as loud as they wanted.

She wasn't listening.

If she did she would only end up getting hurt. Robb was her friend that was all. Her friend who had needed her comforting embrace to fall asleep in. That was all. It was impossible for it to be anything more.

"In life Charlotte a woman rarely gets what she wants. Best you start to learn to endure disappointment now before you get married. Men, Charlotte, are the biggest disappointment of all. You can give them your love, your body, your whole life and they will still not be satisfied. They will still want more, and they will give you nothing – nothing, in return. The worst thing you can do is fall in love Charlotte, it will consume you and tear at you until there is nothing left."

"Shut up mother," she groaned into the Robb-scented furs.

A/N: You have no idea how much I had to resist making them kiss in this chapter! Damn it seriously. I was actually shouting at myself 'no, not yet - they're not ready yet!' God seriously, this fic is testing my sanity I swear.

Anyway ... enough of my ranting! Any thoughts would be amazing and I will try and get another one up at the end of the week.

:)