I held my breath trotting through the tall neatly trimmed shrubs of the palace. This is pretty fun; the thrill of sneaking around and trying not to get caught, stealing something precious...I was stupid for not seeing it through Boris's eyes the first time.
"How's it look?" I whispered to Boris who was adeptly prancing around the top of the fragile bushes. That's pretty impressive. If I did that the bushes would cave taking me with it.
"All clear. Did you get it?" Boris asked leaning over the side. I grinned and flashed him the beautiful red rose I plucked while he was distracting the guards.
"Course I did." I answered enthralled by the fun game.
"Good. Let's get out of here." Boris purred leaping over the gate. I grinned and placed the rose in my mouth hoisting myself up and climbed over myself. I took off into the trees hot on Boris's trail.
‡
We ran for almost a half hour before we both collapsed using each other's backs as a backrest.
"Whew~ That was so much fun! How in the world were you able to do that? You flipped that guy right over by only twisting his wrist!" Boris exclaimed with a fit of laughter. I chuckled twirling the rose in my fingers.
"Yeah, I'll teach you a little bit if you'd like." I offered. I like Boris; he's a cool cat.
"Really? That's awesome! Was Jackie ever able to do something like that?" Boris asked in a wondering tone.
"Not at all. She's not too athletic."
"Really? She seems to be." Boris replied in a wondering tone.
"Sorta huh?" I responded with a throaty cackle. Yeah right. Boris's eyes flashed as he leapt back.
Bang bang.
I rolled to my feet with a grin; did some of the soldiers follow us? My eyes followed the length of two long axes finding the twins on either end.
"Aw-! The cat ruined our surprise attack!" Dee whined. I chuckled.
"Oh well. Better luck next time?" I offered. The two twins snapped their attention towards me before dropping their weapons and pouncing forward.
"Nii-chan~!" They cried tackling into me. I held firm and hugged the two little boys. So cute! Normally I don't associate with the younger brats but these two aren't half bad. They fight decently well too. Got a couple of scraps from one of their surprises when I first met them.
"Hey you two! What are you doing here?" I asked rustling their hair. They hummed conently snuggling into my stomach. So cute~
"Clearly not working." A gruff voice growled. I looked up spying a tall man with orange hair stumble out of the bushes. He looked up as a puzzled expression filled his face. He has eyes; he must be another role holder.
"Jackie?" He questioned tilting his head in confusion. I sighed. Really? This again-
"No way you stupid hare!" Dum cried tightening his hold around my waist.
"This is Jay, not Jackie!" Dee finished sticking his tongue out.
"Jay? Jackie, who is Jay?" I laughed at his stupidity. At this point I can't even get mad. This confusion is more funny than annoying. I reached for my shirt and pulled it off letting him admire my sculpted body.
"My name is Jay; Jackie's younger twin brother. And yours?" I asked pleasantly still buzzed by that fun game of hide and seek in the garden.
"Ah, Elliot...where is Jackie?" He asked with a tad of suspicion. My happy mood immediately fell. What? I'm not good enough for him?
"No f***ing idea. If you find her let me know will ya?" I growled. Jackie...Jackie is just fine wherever she is. I'm sure she is. She's probably back home somehow and away from this mess.
"My, what a potty mouth you have there. I see you didn't pick it up from Jackie." My eyes flashed over to Blood as he walked into the clearing wearing a false smile. Uh oh.
"Ok, first of all I had no idea she was your girlfriend or whatever. And second-," The man's eyes flashed as he whipped his gun around pointing it right at me. I stiffened, staring right down the barrel of his gun; I have nowhere to run. To the left is Dee and Dum and to the right is Boris. Either one could be shot while I try to run.
"Really?" He crooned with a deadly smile.
"Ah, Blood, think about this. That's Jackie's brother and-,"
"All the more reason to shoot the f***er." Blood finalized.
"Ah, please don't boss!"
"Yeah! Jay is nice!" They cried stepping in front of me. My hands twitched, almost chucking them out of the way. They're going to get hurt too.
"Move gatekeepers, or else I'll doc your pay." The mafia leader growled. Both of them turned glum. Are they actually tempted to leave because of that?!
"Please?" They begged. My heart pounded loudly. They're definitely going to get shot. That man means business.
"Yeah Blood. Jay would never hurt anyone." Boris said. I loosed a nervous chuckle drawing their attention.
"I appreciate you defending me but I hit on his girlfriend by mistake. Blood, would you like to walk and talk?" I offered shakily. I need to get him alone. That way, however this ends up, nobody else will get involved.
"Alice?" Boris asked in a reprimanding sort of tone. I glanced over to the Cheshire cat spying the disbelief over his face. Ah, looks like everyone knew their relationship. I wonder if that Ace character did or not? A grin tugged Blood's cheek up before he suppressed it, lowering his cane.
"Very well. Come along then." He answered in a bit more of a controlled voice. I sighed and rubbed the twin's heads before following the Mafioso down the empty path. Ah, he's taking me where there are no witnesses. No matter how good of a fighter I am I won't be able to outrun a bullet.
"Now then shall we get to business?" Blood asked as he stopped pulling up the weapon to my chest. I stiffened and backed away before firmly planting my feet. Begging won't get me anywhere.
"Do we have to?" I asked. He chuckled loading a magazine into the clip.
"Nonsense. I have other work today you see." He answered with a smile. I sighed as my body slacked. Yeah, he's going to kill me. No way around it. I remained where I was as he raised his gun looking expectantly over me.
"Well?" He asked.
"Well what?"
"Aren't you going to run like the little tick you are?" He asked. I laughed. Did he expect me to pee all over myself and start crying?
"Sorry but I'm not going to cry and wet my pants." I joked back
"But I'm going to shoot you."
"I know."
"There are no replacements for outsiders you know."
"I know."
"Aren't you scared?"
"Not at all."
"Then why are you shaking?" He asked with a grin. I glanced over my hands which betrayed me. Ah; so that's what it was. I sighed.
"Oh no, you've caught me. Hurry up and kill me if you are going to do it then." I cockily mocked as I turned around. Ah, Jackie...sorry. I guess I took this one a little too far-
Ratatata
Clang clang clang clang.
I jumped and spun around spying a guy in a mask and brown tattered cape covered in blood. W-what the? Another role holder?
"Sorry hatter. I like this foreigner so I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The man flashed his sword threatening to lop off Blood's head. Blood tsked and leapt out of the way unleashing a few rounds at the man. I jumped and dove behind a tree barely evading the flying bullets. T-that was close-!
"You again...," Blood sighed as his machine gun turned into a cane, "No matter. This foreigner is quite boring anyway. I don't like to play with boring things." He said waltzing back down the path. I slowly emerged from behind the tree shaking like a leaf. Die...I nearly just died. I shakily exhaled trying to recover what dignity I had left as Blood disappeared from view.
"Hey thanks man. I owe you." I thanked, grateful. That really surprised me too. Who is this guy?
"Really? Then that's two things you owe me for!" The familiar voice cried out. I jerked back in surprise.
"Ace?" I asked in disbelief. I can't believe it!
"Aw~ you found out!" He pouted slipping off the mask with a grin. Wow...what a coincidence! I can't believe I ran into him out here.
"What are you doing all the way out here?" I asked with a chuckle, still trying to shake off the shock.
"Ah, I was looking for the clock tower. I thought I was heading right for it but then this forest came up on me!" he answered. I sighed; lost huh? Jeez, his sense of direction sucks!
"Ah, is that what happened?" I sarcastically say rolling my eyes. What a nutcase! I stiffened as the sky suddenly shuttered, once again skipping dusk in its entirety. My eyes narrowed. What? Is the sky just too good for dusk or something.
"Oh? We better set up camp~," Ace hummed. I sighed.
"Really? Camping? Can't we just walk back-," the words caught in my throat as he perfected the edge of a blue tent.
"Holy - HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU SET THAT UP SO FAST?!" I cried, dumbfounded at his speedy and adept handiwork. Everything was where it should be from the perfectly aligned tent angles to the hammered in stakes in the ground. Ace erupted into a fit of laughter and pointed at me.
"You look like the first time you saw me do this Jackie!" Ace cried between his bubbling laughter. Ah, this guy really is a lost cause. He still thinks I'm Jackie.
"Hey, Jackie will you sleep with me?" Ace asked excitedly. What a dumbf***. I shivered as the cold immediately nipped at my skin. Brr; its chilly out here.
"Yeah, whatever." I quickly crawled into the tent spying only one sleeping bag.
Oh f***. Is that what he meant?
"Hey, Ace...why is there only one sleeping bag?"
"Huh? It's bothersome to carry two. Besides, I didn't know I was going to have a visitor tonight." He hummed slipping off his cloak.
"Yeah, me neither." I sighed. This sucks. Couldn't I at least be sharing the tent with some hot chick?
"Oh, did you ever use that powder?" Ace asked.
"Ah, no. I was fine without it but in a strange turn of events Joker smacked me in the face with it. Hey, did you know that Blood was Alice's boyfriend?" I asked turning to see him utterly topless and in his boxers.
"Of course." He smiled.
"Hey hey hey hey-! Keep your pants on! If we're sleeping in the same f***ing sleeping bag clothes will be worn at all times!" I shuttered again as the cold penetrated my skin. D*** its cold...
"This is survival 101! If it's cold you sleep together naked to keep warmth!" He said cheerfully.
"Uh, no. Let's not." I sighed rubbing my head. Ugh, this guys more trouble than he's worth...Without warning he pounced slipping my shirt right off as he tackled me to the sleeping bag. I huffed as his weight smacked into my lungs disorientated for a few moments as he unbuckled my pants.
"Oh f*** no!" I cried punching him right in the head, "Take my pants off and I'll gouge your f***ing eyes out!" I growled squeezing his head.
"Ow! That hurts Jackie." He complained grabbing my wrists, "I only wanted to hear your heartbeat like you promised!"
"Promised?! When did I - oh, right; I forgot." I said recalling when he made that request and I half heartedly answered. Well, that sure came back to bite me in the a**.
"Yep~," Ace hummed pressing his ear against my chest. I sighed and thumped my head back trying to get comfortable. I did promise him didn't I? Whatever; I'll let the 'special' man have his fun for now.
I uncomfortably laid there for I don't know how many hours letting the mentally handicapped man have his fun. Jeez...this sucks. Of all the people it had to be it had to be Ace, the mental retard who cuddles up with men. So annoying...hell, I would take Joker over this freak any day. My heart did a quick flip in my chest. Did I really just think that?
"F*** I'm so sick...," I muttered shamefully. So gross...
"Huh? Are you sick?" Ace asked as he thumped his forehead to mine. I uneasily shifted at the close contact; is this guy into me like that?
"Hey, Ace are you gay?"
"Huh? Of course I am happy! I get to listen to a foreigners heart after all~," he hummed gently lying his head back down. "Ah, its beating faster. Jackie...," Ace shifted forward so his head was level with mine, "can I make it beat faster I wonder?" He leaned forward and connect our lips. I froze trying to quell the sudden rage which engulfed me. Ugh...again? I shoved his shoulders back wiping off the gross contact.
"Hey...do that again and I really will beat you." I warned. Even a special person should know when to stop pushing it right? His head went down placing his ear next to my steady beating.
"Aw~ it didn't work. Maybe more?" Ace purred putting more pressure on my wrists as he kissed my neck.
"Ew! Gross! Get off!" I shouted kicking his legs mercilessly. This guy's just a plain idiot retarded or not!
"Gross? How can it be gross? I bet it feels good~," he crooned sucking on the wound. I ripped my hand out of his grasp socking him right in the head. Ace fell back slightly eyeing me with a frown.
"Get. OFF." I hissed getting ready to kick his a** all the way to next Friday.
"Why? You're so cute Jackie." I jumped as his hand slid into my pants coming dangerously close to something I don't want any man getting close to.
"Whoa hey-! F*** off!" I hissed grappling at his hand.
"No. I want to make Jackie happy you know-," I swung my arm around clobbering him in the head with my elbow as hard as I could. Ace clattered to the ground unconscious from the powerful blow to the temple.
Ah...now Jackie's going to kick my a**. I just hit a mentally handicapped person. I'm sure she'll find out too; she always does. I slipped out of the tent half expecting her to come barreling through the bushes and kick me in the face. Bah...so annoying.
I hurried down the path glancing back to make sure Ace wasn't hunting me down. Jeez...two enemies now? Blood and now Ace? So annoying! Now where do I go? I glanced down a particular path with a slipshod sign reading 'circus' painted in poorly drawn paint. Huh. I wonder if one of the jester children made that sign. Of all the places to be I guess the circus would be safest for now. I sighed and quickly strode down the path.
‡
Where the hell is it? It's been freaking hours and I still haven't found even another sign! I didn't think I was so far away from the circus. I sighed tempted to turn right back around. So annoying...huh? Hope lifted my heart as I trotted closer to a sign.
It's the same exact one from before.
I just went in an entire loop and made myself tired. My heart stuttered slightly as I glanced around the forest. I knew that sign was too crappy to be real. Someone stuck it here. I sighed and relaxed making it look like I was going to go down the path again. A faint twig snapped, muffled by the moist condensation in the air.
I'm being watched.
Without warning I took off in the opposite direction sprinting down the path as fast as I could. I wove in between the trees making a headlong shot towards town. Did that crazy hatter find me again? I jumped as an agonizing shriek pierced the sky. A huge bird thrice my size dove in from the sky with wide gapping jaws.
"What the f***?!" I shouted barely diving out of the way in time. It barreled into the dense brush and rolled onto its feet, flaring its wings as it screamed. I darted into the dense underbrush as it took flight, breaking some of the branches as it soared overhead. What in the hell is that thing?!
I flitted into a small clearing which made my heart freeze over. Oh f***! I suddenly jerked to the left barely evading its quick claws. It's head smacked into my side sending me flying back into the trees. I fell out of the thorn bush as it pricked me hundreds of times over tearing my pants and exposed flesh. Why is that thing chasing me?!
My heart stuttered for a moment as I spied a brightly colored price of wood nailed to a tree. I immediately darted down the path ignoring the branches slapping my sides.
"Joker! Holy s*** come here!" I shouted as my heart pounded heavily. Immediately the ground shuttered forming a gray cage all around me and the bird. I dove forward as the monster smacked right into a wooden beam shattering it with its thick body. I scrambled to my feet as the bird rolled to its claws flaring its wings with a terrifying screech.
"You called?" They both purred leaning against the wall with smug smirks.
"Obviously! H-help me out-!" I shouted barely evading its jerking head. It's sharp beak jabbed into the cobblestone without trouble, unable to withdraw from its powerful attack.
"I will help you if you agree to go to the ball with me." They crooned watching with delight as the bird successfully wrenched its head out of the ground.
"W-why did I - YOU'RE SERIOUSLY BRINGING THIS UP NOW?! HELP ME OUT JOKER!" I screamed. How can those two be so calm? I'm being attacked by some feathery creature and they're acting as if I'm playing with a kitten!
"No; not until you agree to be my date to the ball." They said.
"WHAT?!" I cried yelping as the bird skimmed my arm. I growled and swung my fist around punching it in the eye before taking off. I huffed loudly as the creature was hot on my trail easily keeping pace with me.
"Now now there's no need to die here. Just agree to be my date and I will save you." My eyes shot up to a higher leveled deck which both Jokers flitted across with ease.
"Date?! T-to a ball? Where in the world are balls even held anymore?!" I cried as the bird's beak knocked into my side. I sucked in a quick breath and tumbled across the ground barely ducking in time as its head jammed in between some cell bars. I gritted my teeth and kicked it right in the throat before barely getting my arm wrenched off by its long talons.
"So? How about it?" They asked. I hastily scrambled away from the bird just as it wrenched its head out of the bars. Ah-!
"F-FINE! I'll be your date now help me-!" I nearly shrieked. With a swift crack the Jester's whip was wrapped around the bird's feet as the Warden leapt onto its head pinning the creature to the floor. The giant bird thrashed and snapped its beak as the Jester bit a pin in a grenade, clicking it out of place and swiftly threw it into the creature's jaws. Joker locked arms with his counterpart somehow mustering enough strength to seal off its mouth as it writhed beneath them.
PUAFFOOOOOSSHH...
The bird's body suddenly expanded as the bomb went off inside it. Green smoke shot out of its nostrils as a hazy and empty look fazed over its pupil-less eyes. It's struggling almost immediately died down as it twitched lolling its tongue out of its mouth with red saliva pooling onto the ground. W-what the heck? Was that some sort of sedative? Both of them lightly touched the beak on either side crouching down so they were looking directly into its eyes. A wild sadistic grin pulled their lips up as they maliciously glared with an intensity I've only seen in movies.
"Now now my fun little birdie. This one is mine. Do you really think...you should hurt what's Jokers?" He crooned. A shiver ran down my spine from his gentle words. He is speaking so kindly but at the same time I feel that he's just about ready to rip the bird's guts out.
The bird cracked open its mouth and unleashed a small hiss, emptily rolling it's eyes around the jail.
"Good bird. Well, since it's against the rules we will not kill you...but that doesn't mean I can't pluck out every last one of your f***ing feathers out." He hissed snatching a fistful of the bird's rather beautiful feathers and ripped it out. I flinched as the bird cringed with a pained growl slipping from its jaws.
"Hey, Joker lay off. It's just a bird." I said uneasily. The bird's head rolled to the side eyeing me with large blood ridden eyes.
"Hah? The f*** are you talking about?" The Warden growled wrenching out another fistful of feathers out.
"Well, birds are stupid with brains not even the size of a walnut. Even if you beat it it's not going to understand what it did wrong."
"Ah, you are mistaken. The Juju bird is actually quite intelligent." The Jester corrected with a smile, tearing out bloodied feathers.
"It was probably just hungry and I happened to be where it was hunting." I argued. I can't believe I'm actually trying to help this stupid thing...pathetic really. I sighed. I guess Jackie really has rubbed off on me to some degree what with her being an animal lover an all.
"You're soft." The Warden smirked loosening his hold on the bird. Anger sparked. Weak?!
"Who the f*** are you calling-," Without warning the Juju bird ripped apart the whip and darted into the air with a flurry of feathers behind it. In a flash it went right up the door leading to the outside and barreled right through it. I stood in shock breathing hard as it shrieked triumphantly fading in the distance.
"Ah~ it got away. Boo. I was hoping to have more fun with it." The Jester pouted. Really? After everything that just happened that's all he has to say? I sighed holding my aching head. If this continues much longer I think I'm going to actually die.
"Hey! Stop laying about you f***er and get ready!" I glanced up spying both Jokers with hair slicked back and fitted in neatly trimmed suits. The Warden wore a black suit with a white button up shirt beneath and a red tie while the Jester wore a white suit and a black button up shirt with the same designed red tie. Both ties had gold stitching which matched their single earring and gold cuff buttons. My chest thumped without warning shocked at their sudden suave appearance. H-holy crap they look good. A curse to all men is what they are.
"Well? Get ready." The Warden growled.
"Huh?"
"The ball, sir. It begins in a few hours." White purred with a sly smile. My face drained of color.
"What?!" I shouted. Seriously?! I don't even have time to try and worm myself out? "Ah, well, you see I - uh, suit! I don't even have the proper attire and there's no time to get any - ," Joker smirked and clapped his hands. I jumped as a white haze immediately engulfed me, coughing and hacking up the white stuff. W-what the heck?! The loose clothes over my body immediately shrunk becoming form fitting to my body as my shoes grew immensely uncomfortable. I blinked spying the path leading straight into town by the edge of the Joker's territory.
"H-how did we get here so fast?"
"Worry not about the details. Come; let's be on our way." White held out his hand which I immediately slapped away.
"I'm not a girl I can walk on my own without being led." He growled walking in front of them.
"Of course."
‡