Author's Note: Suspend yourself in a silly story of sneezes. Really, this is just a silly story I sneezed. Ridiculousness over 'awww'.

Disclaimer: There was no actual sneezing in the production of this chapter. No noses were harmed and no innocent people, or otherwise, were infected.

Sneezing Setting: -shrugs- Some season. Better earlier than later, Jenny must exist... It doesn't really matter.

In Sickness and in Health
Sneezes, Sneezes, Sneezes (and Sneezes)
aka Sne, Snee, Sneee, SNEEZE
and aka Sneezes Sneezed Sneezing

A single sneeze sounded through the silent precinct.

"Go home, Castle."

Various hitches in his voice, another sneeze on the mucous-infested precipice, the sick man in question replied, "I'm—I'm—" sneezed, "fine. Just dus—dust, I prom—" sneezed again, "—ise."

Beckett set down her pen and turned her office chair his way. "It can't be that dusty in here. You've been sneezing since this morning. You're sick. Now go home."

"Duty calls," he replied, his mouth covered by a tissue.

"We solved plenty of murders before you so graciously gifted us with your presence. I'm sure we can manage solving a simple B-and-E gone wrong."

"Yeah, bro," Esposito chimed in from his desk, looking over his shoulder. "We got this."

Ryan nodded. "Jenny'll kill me if you get me sick. We're heading up to her Aunt's this weekend and if she thinks I'm trying to get out of it, I'll sleep on the couch for a solid month."

All three of the detectives were now staring at him. Admittedly, their pointed, instruction-filled looks could be a bit intimidating, like a quiet accusation from your kindergarten teacher. That did not mean he would relent. He felt fine!

The tingling itch in his burning nose returned, though. Another sneeze was coming—he could feel it—but Castle was too childishly stubborn not to "show them." He wrinkled his nose and opened his mouth, breathing in fresh, cool air and soothing the itch without picking.

"See? My nose is just a tad irritated by the dust. Or Esposito's overwhelming, pungent new perfume—I mean cologne. I'm fine. I'm staying."

Becket firmly set her lips and turned back to the files in front of her. Esposito narrowed his eyes at the writer, clearly conveying his resentment of Castle's call-out (and the truth behind the statement). Ryan rolled his desk chair just a bit further from the medically-infectious Castle, not that they were sitting close to begin with, and added a packet of crushed vitamins into his nasty-looking smoothie.

A snot-slinging sneeze shouted in the shared office space… followed by another, higher-pitched sniffle and sneeze.

Ryan groaned. Beckett struggled not to smirk and Ryan and to instead reprimand her insolent partner.

"See?" she accused, her tone obviously saying, I told you this would happen. "Now Ryan's sneezing."

Castle shirked, slightly sliding down in his seat, shoulder shrugged. His head was angled, making his red eyes peek from his out-of-place hair. "It's the dust," scorned innocence tried.

To no avail.

Standing from her seat, Beckett pointed at Castle. "You. Break room. Now."

"Really," he replied. "It was the dust, but now it's clearer over here! I haven't been sneezing… as much!"

Her body leaned over his as she said in a hushed yell, "It is not the dust or Espo's ridiculous perfume. I can't have you getting my team sick; either you go to the break room for a while or you go. home."

"Don't take it out on me!" was his weak defense.

Esposito bumped into the conversation. "Dude, I look good. I spent, like, twenty extra minutes on my hair this morning. Don't ruin my date tonight with your nasty germs. If the ladies want a piece of this—" he stopped, stuck on the s-sound. It seemed like he was going to sneeze. "If the ladies want a piece of this," continued Esposito, "I'm going to deliver."

The third sneeze sliced through the static, dust-free, cologne-riddled bullpen.

Castle and Ryan sneezed in a chorus of chain reactions, one after the other, after the other, after the other.

"Damnit, man! The ladies are calling and I'm all sneezy!" Esposito accused amidst a series of sniffles.

Ryan hit his desk with his smoothie cup. "And Jenny is going to kill me!"

Castle just sneezed in response, the strong force behind it splashing some snot and saliva on Beckett's paperwork.

"That's it!" she resolved. "All of you, out!"

Suddenly struck with confidence to stand up now that he had a majority, the wet-nosed writer taunted, "What? Afraid you'll get sick, too?"

She rolled her eyes, hip cocked. "Seems only to infect men with over-inflated egos."

"Hey!" the various men protested.

"Seriously. Until you can stop sneezing, stay away," Beckett demanded.

There were mumbles, and, of course, more sneezing, but the three men eventually gathered their stuff and dragged their feet to the elevator.

In the fashion of an adorable little puppy, she sneezed.