Chapter 7: No money, no party

Having class with Roderich Edelstein was a real pain in the ass. Although the guy had managed in a couple of weeks that my level with the violin resembled the one I had when I gave it in (without forgetting, of course, my admirable effort), standing his incessant scolds and that he called me idiot every time I made a mistake required I gather a patience that I didn't think I possessed for not replying him badly and it made the hours of class seemed eternal for me.

"Enough!" My teacher shouted at me, hitting his radio antenna on a table while I was playing a piece. "Stop playing, idiot!"

"What? Why?" I snorted, putting the instrument down. "What have I done now?"

"You would know if you had listened to me. What was the last thing I told you yesterday?"

"Goodbye?"

"Don't get smart on me, idiot!" he hit again his radio antenna against the table. "I told you to practice at home the score I gave you, the same as the previous days. And have you obeyed me?"

"Of cour…"

"No, of course not." He said. "Don't try to take me for a fool, I know you haven't obeyed me any day. I have a very good hearing and, although you advance quickly thanks to your talent, you don't do it as fast as you could due to the little interest you show outside class."

"I spend four hours here playing no stop!" I justified myself. "I need to rest, my fingers hurt."

"No more excuses. I think you were nineteen years old, but you behave like a kid of nine, so I'll treat you like one." He pulled out a chair from under the table. "Put the violin away and sit here."

I obeyed and walk to Roderich a little nervous, the twisted expression of his face and his crossed arms didn't make me have a good feeling, in fact it reminded me so much of the attitude that my mother showed when she was going to reprimand me. He pulled out a bundle of white sheets and a pen. I looked at him without understanding.

"Write 'I will obey the orders of Mr. Edelstein without questioning them'…"

"WHAT?!"

"…over and over again until I tell you to stop," he continued, "numbering each phrase and with a clear and legible handwriting if you don't want me to make you repeat it, have you understood?"

I inflated my cheeks and, with narrowed eyes, I glanced him with pure hatred as any response. I bowed my head and focused on the boring and repetitive task I had been commended by the Austrian, who played the piano in the meantime.

I spent one entire hour writing the damn phrase, I wasted two sheets on both sides. When he told me to stop, it was time to come back home, so I picked up the violin case and walked to the door.

"Where do you think you are going?" he stopped me. "The lesson hasn't finished yet."

"But it's two o'clock, it's time to go."

"Not today. Come back here and take the violin out, we're going to recover the hour we have lost due to your indiscipline."

"But it's lunch time!" I complained. "I'm hungry!"

"Haven't you learnt anything from what you have had to write?" he looked angry. "Maybe do you need another hour of punishment? But keep in mind that then I will not allow you to leave until four o'clock, because we're are going to recover the hour of playing you owe me today."

The fucking Austrian didn't think twice when it came to imposing punishments, he didn't care the hour or how hungry I were if he managed to apply his strict discipline. I mentally cursed the idiot Roderich during that hour he forced me to be in his house playing… and without complaining.

I came back home hungry and in a rage. I let out part of my anger against every door that was in my way while insulting my teacher, I know he wouldn't listen, but at least I expected his ears to ring. Grandpa came to meet me, I don't know if he was worried about my condition or about the doors I had slammed without compassion.

"Lovino, is everything okay? Why have you arrived so late today?"

I ignored his questions. The only thing I wanted in that moment was to fill my stomach with the dish of carbonara that Feliciano had kept into the microwave. The old man entered the kitchen after me, waiting patiently for an answer.

"What happened, Lovino? You have come back very late from class and in a worse mood than usual."

Great, now it turns out that I'm always in a bad mood. I growled.

"Lovino…"

"Roderich is an asshole! I have come back so late because that imbecile has punished me…"

"What did you do?" he asked, curious.

"Nothing!"

"You have had to do something, nobody is punished for nothing."

If what he wanted was to make me angrier, no doubt the old man was getting it. First he told me I'm always in a bad mood and now he call me liar, why the hell didn't he believe in what I was saying? Precisely Roderich had punished me for doing nothing, nothing that he ordered me to do in MY FREE TIME.

"Yes, going to his damn classes, that's what I have done!" I said. "I wouldn't have any damn problem if you hadn't forced me to waste my time on them!"

I got up and locked myself in my room slamming the door.

Maledizione! I don't know how I do it, but sooner or later I end up arguing with grandpa, he always does or says something that makes me angry, he must regret having brought me from Italy. Although I may be wrong, Antonio planted the seed of doubt on me when told me that I should listen to my grandfather talking about me, but honestly I wasn't sure I wanted to know what the old man thought of me, because if it was a good thing, why didn't he tell me?, and if it was something bad… I preferred not to know it.

And talking about the bastard, he kept on coming home almost every evening, not for meeting grandpa, but to force me, somehow, to go to take something out there, what could be limited to drink a pair of summer red wines in any terrace or be extended until the dinner. However that day he wasn't going to come, as he didn't the day before, because he had been called to work in a restaurant… or something like that he told me.

But of course I wasn't going to get rid of the bore Spaniard so easily, he had to be noticed one way or another.

That evening, still quite annoyed by the Austrian's punishment and by the argument with grandpa, I decided to obey the instructions of my teacher (not for pleasure, but because I didn't want to get another punishment) and took out the score he gave me before I left. I knew that song, it was a Venetian Rondò.

I concentrated on the melody I was creating with the violin, until the voice of certain bastard who was singing the song I was playing reached my ears through the window which looked out onto the patio.

I suddenly stopped playing and went to the window.

"Stop inventing such a stupid lyrics for the rondo, bastard!" I shouted angrily, the imbecile had distracted me.

"Hello, Lovi!" he greeted me happily, sticking his head out of the window and looking up. "Didn't you like the song?"

"Obviously, NO!" I spat. "Shut your fucking trap, it's your fault that I can't get concentrated, fuck! And don't call me Lovi!"

I went back inside and snorted a couple of times before taking the instrument back in my hands.

I started the melody again, but if at some point I thought the damn bastard would stop annoying because I had shouted him a bit through the window… I should receive a price for my ingenuity. Apparently the idiot Antonio knew too how to play the song and he should think it was funny to accompany me with his guitar, musically speaking, until the end of the song.

Snorting, I put the violin on the desk. I left my room like a bull, ready to go to the bastard's apartment to tell him a few home truths for not stopping disturbing me over and over while I was practicing.

However, something stopped me. Feliciano was leaping towards me with his typical and silly smile and with his eyes so full of illusion as it seemed that sparkles were coming out of them.

"Vee~… Fratello, so beautiful!" he clung to my neck. "It's been a while since the last time I heard you play, it has been wonderful!" although I love to listen to my brother's compliments, I was sure that Roderich would laugh at Feliciano's opinion and raise thousand objections to my interpretation. "I loved the rondò played a duet, why don't you do it again?"

"It wasn't played a duet, idiot!" I yelled at idiot Feliciano, pushing him away from me. "And don't dream that you will hear me again today!"

Because I didn't intend to try to practice again, surely somebody would disturb me. So I sat on the couch of the living room and spent there the rest of the evening, watching the boring Spanish summer programming, which, next day, cost me a new reprimand from Roderich after listening to me playing the piece he ordered me to practice.

"It seems that whatever I tell you goes in one ear and out of the other." He was standing in front of me, softly tapping his modern extendable baton against the palm of his hand repeatedly. "Is that what I made you write yesterday didn't serve you?"

"Of course it did!" I said, offended. "I was practicing for…"

"Don't lie to me!" he hit the table. "The notes sound at the wrong time and squeak in my ears, you didn't practice."

"I did! What happens is that the Spanish bastard I have as a neighbor didn't stop disturbing me over and over again during the entire time I was practicing and…"

"Come here and sit down." He interrupted me and pulled out the chair from under the table.

Shit, punished again.

I obeyed and approached slowly to my teacher, who pulled out a bundle of white sheets and a pen.

"Write I will stop inventing excuses to justify my indiscipline over and over again until I tell you to stop, numbering each phrase and with a clear and legible handwriting if you don't want me to make you repeat it, have you understood?"

I frowned at him. As if it couldn't be understood, if he had released exactly the same speech as the previous day, with the difference that the sentence to write was different. I bowed my head and focused on the boring task I had been commended, cursing mentally with every word I wrote to the prissy Austrian, who was expressing his irritation playing Chopin on the piano, and to the stupid bastard of Antonio, because it was his fault I was being punished.

And having to copy hundred times the same sentence wasn't the worst, but that Roderich would force me to recover the lost time by postponing the time of leaving. That bastard would find funny to make me go hungry!

However, fortune smiled at me and made his appearance in the Austrian's house in form of a bell ringing when the extra hour of class had just started. It was Antonio and Emma, they had come to pick me up and go for lunch all together.

"Lovino can't go yet" Roderich said to them, "our class is not over yet."

"Isn't supposed that your class finish at two?" Antonio asked in a childish tone. "It's already more than two, it's time to eat!"

"Not today. Lovino is fulfilling a punishment" I blushed and ducked my head embarrassed, that my teacher had punished me as a kid was something I didn't want anybody to know, "and he won't leave until I allow him. So you'd better leave."

"Don't be so bad, Rod, what has poor Lovi done to be punished?"

"It's more what he has not done, precisely to obey me and practice at home the scores I gave him."

"I heard him playing."

"Yes, in fact, you know what?" Emma said, "yesterday evening Lovino and Toni played a little duet concert, it was beautiful."

I felt proud that Emma would have liked my interpretation, even if it really hadn't been as she thought, but I wouldn't be the one who say her was wrong.

"Really?" Roderich asked incredulously, turning his head towards me to look at me with bewilderment, perhaps because the blonde's version didn't match with I had told him in the first moment. He sighed with resignation. "All right, Lovino, you can pick up your things and go."

I couldn't believe it, I had gotten rid of the punishment! I took my things as fast as I could and stayed under the doorframe of the house trying to hurry the other two, just in case my teacher regretted his decision at the last moment.

"Would you like to come eat with us, Rod?" Antonio asked.

"Thank you very much, but no."

"Come on, man." The bastard insisted. Couldn't he accept a no as an answer? What a bore. "We're going near here, then, if you want, we can have a coffee together and I accompany you so you won't get lost."

Roderich twisted his face and his violet eyes threw a look of deep resentment to the smiling Antonio. Emma was laughing softly.

"Leave now, please." He said politely. "And you, Lovino, try to practice this weekend, because next time I will not be so benevolent with you."

I raised my thumb in response. Roderich rolled his eyes and closed the door behind us.

We sat down to a table in the shade at the terrace of a nearby place full of tourists who were eating and drinking greedily while they were roasting under the sun. There was no doubt that Antonio knew the city almost as well as the palm of his hand because the place, despite its appearance of a grotty den, served delicious dishes, most of them prepared with tomato (fruit for which the bastard and I felt authentic passion).

Emma's presence at lunch seemed odd to me, not because I didn't like her company, which I actually loved, but because maybe I had gotten used to having the bastard's attention only for me and I didn't want to share it with anyone… It could be said that I thought selfishly, but, fuck, Antonio was the first person who felt a special attachment for me and I didn't want to lose that.

"Hey, Lovi," the bastard said after wiping the rest of tomato sauce on his plate, "if Roderich is too severe with you, don't hesitate to tell me, I'll go and tell him a thing or two if necessary."

Although sometimes the Spaniard paid me more attention than necessary… he treated me like a fucking kid!

"Toni, darling" Emma said before I could answer the bastard. But, one moment, why the hell did she call him "darling"? I felt a pinch in the pit of my stomach. "I don't think you have to interfere in Roderich's way of working, he has his own methods. Leave him alone, he has already had enough."

"I know. I don't want to interfere, but you know how he is and the character he has, all I want is that he doesn't give Lovi a hard time with his strict discipline."

"I'm not a damn kid, bastard. I don't need you to keep an eye on me all the time."

"Do you see, Toni?" Emma placed her hand on the bastard's, causing him to return his puppy eyes to her and smile. "Lovino doesn't need you to stand so over him."

To the pressure in my stomach it was added a lump in my throat. Maybe was there something between those two beyond friendship? They were only assumptions, because there were hardly any signs of loving affection, but… Shit, I was jealous! Although, frankly, I wouldn't be able to say about exactly what, if I felt that my chances of conquering Emma were decreasing by the bastard's fault or that she got all my friend's attention.

Spending Saturday night alone at home lying on the couch hugging a cushion while watching on TV an absurd romantic comedy (what a shit I was watching) was the most pathetic way to end a day that, in general, hadn't been so bad.

I had slept until lunch time, eaten lasagna and then I had spent the afternoon with Feliciano, we went shopping together to the mall, it's one of the few things we have in common besides sleeping a lot.

But now my idiot brother had gone out there with his super friend the muscled potato bastard and I had stayed at home bored like an oyster. And it's not that Feliciano didn't invite me to go with him and his little friend, but I passed to go anywhere with the potato-lover, it was enough for me to put up with his beloved and egocentric brother, my self-proclaimed friend, some of the time I went out with Antonio.

Damn! I remembered the bastard. We didn't see each other since we said goodbye the day before at the door of his flat after lunch, what would he be doing?... Fuck! Why did I wonder what that idiot would be doing? It's not like I had any interest in it… or yes, well, maybe a little… but it's that that damn asshole had made me get used to his almost daily visits! I guess he would be working (then people complain that there is unemployment, normal, all the jobs are monopolized by the bastard) or with Emma… something contracted inside me when this idea came to my head.

Some knocks on the door took me out of my thoughts. Maybe it would be the idiot of Feliciano who would have forgotten the keys, although in my opinion it was too early for him to return, just half past twelve.

"Hello, Lovi~!"

The smiling bastard of Antonio was greeting me happily with his hand. I can't deny that I was surprised (and also glad, although I'd never admit it) by his visit.

"What are you doing he-here, bastard?"

"What do you think? It's Saturday night, let's go have some drinks!" he said effusively going inside and looking around. "Are you alone?"

"Eh, yes… Grandpa had a business dinner or something like that" I hope it wasn't a euphemism, "and Feliciano go with his friend the giant potato-lover. And you…? Weren't you with Emma?" the question came out alone, unconsciously, I guess because I had been thinking about it before Antonio appeared. I blushed a bit. I felt the urge of hitting myself against the wall for not being able to stand the curiosity.

"With Emma?" he asked, surprised. My heart (I don't know why) jumped with joy when I saw his reaction. "And why should I be with her? Have I missed something?" he cocked his head. "I have just finished working and…"

"No… forget it, it was mere curiosity." I feigned indifference. "I'm going to change, I'll come right now."

I practically flew to my room and went back, ready, before Antonio even had time to sit down and wait for me.

The Frenchman and the albino were waiting for us in the pub we went to and, judging by the amount of glasses that were piling up on the table, they had been there for a long time, although they didn't look like they were drunk (what kind of liver do this guys have?).

"At last!" the Frenchman said, getting up. We were thinking about going to your house to get you out of the bed, Toni."

"How exaggerated!" Antonio answered laughing as we sat down. The Frenchy sat next to me. "I told you I would be late, I just got out of work."

"Working as much as you do can't be very good, mon ami." The Frenchman's voice had a tone of genuine concern, but Antonio simply smiled at him as he always did. "And what about you, mon petit cher?" he put an arm over my shoulders. Arg, what a disgusting feeling! My face should have been a poem.

"Yes, kid" the albino said, "tell us how your classes are going with the stupid aristocrat. The other day I wanted to ask you, but sometimes my awesome mind suffers gaps and I forgot it."

"Gaps? I'd rather say oceans, mon ami, especially if certain Hungarian doctor is present and the subject in question is related to your archenemy and rival in love."

The macho albino was in love with Elizaveta? Wow, it was surprising to discover that that egomaniac was able to feel love, or whatever it was, for someone else but himself.

"Francis, two things: first, miss tomboy has studied medicine, but she needs two or three years more to be a doctor; and second, that damn aristocrat is NOT my rival in love, Elizaveta left him, he has no chance of getting back together with her, so I have no reason to compete with him."

"The Austrian and the crazy Hungarian were a couple?" I was surprised.

"Hey, you, brat!" the German spat suddenly. "The only one here who insults the tomboy is me, so take care not to let me listen to you again or I assure you that you'll fell all the fury of my amazing fist."

Fucking albino, the other day he proclaimed himself as my friend and now he threatens me for saying that his chick is round the bend, he must have some kind of personality disorder. I was about to get up to respond to his provocation, but Antonio's hand on my chest stopped me. His other hand rested on the German's shoulder urging him to remain calm.

"Come on, Gilbert, take it easy." Antonio said. "Lovi didn't want to offend you, really?" he looked at me. I nodded. "See?"

"Ok, it doesn't matter, just for showing you how great I am" or asshole, depending on how you look at it, "not like that conceited aristocrat."

"It seems incredible that back in the day you got along." The bastard said.

"Yeah" the albino said, annoyed, "I even took the trouble of taking him in my awesome home when Eli broke up with him and threw him out of the house, but the asshole didn't stop touching my balls with his stinginess trying to impose me his stupid rules of conduct in MY OWN house, I wasn't going to stand that!"

"And then I took him in" Antonio said, "but he didn't stay long."

"Because you are a spendthrift, Toño."

"I wanted to take him in" the Frenchman said, "but, for some reason I don't know, he doesn't like me so much… What a pity, I would have repaired his broken heart…"

"Stop dreaming, beardy." The albino said.

"Anyway, being so close to Eli wasn't good for him, he was still… well, he is still in love with her." Antonio said.

"And why did they break up?" I asked.

The three shrugged.

"I have a theory about that." the Frenchman said, taking on a mysterious air. "She got angry because he didn't want to volunteer for her urology practice, impeding her to practice with him a prostate exam."

The three started laughing. I didn't understand the joke.

"What is a prostate exam?" I asked with all my fucking ingenuity.

"Don't you know?" the Frenchman said, approaching dangerously his face with a perverted expression on it to mine. "Whenever you want, I'll make you one…"

"FRAN!" Antonio hit the table and got up, his expression was cold and his eyes emanated angry. It was scary.

"Keep calm, amour" he got away from me, "I was just joking."

"But what is it?" I repeated, curious, looking at Antonio, who relaxed his gesture and adopted his normal attitude. "Explain it to me."

"Eh… Well…"

The other two were still laughing softly. Antonio blushed a bit. He indicated me to approach him and explained it to my ear. I got redder and redder with every word of the explanation, how could someone be so perverted? Antonio had his face very red too when he finished telling me what the exam was about.

Full of rage and disgust, I got up and turned to the Frenchman, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and made him get up too.

"Damn perverted Frenchy!" I shouted. "You can put your fucking finger in…! AGH!"

I was completely disgusted, but I was still clenching my fists with the Frenchy's shirt clasped between them. On the other hand, he didn't seem to mind being at the mercy of my anger, in fact he was not even looking at me but at a point near the main door.

"Oh, mon Dieu!"

I turned my head to see where he was looking at, but there was nothing interesting, just a dressed blond guy with eyebrows that covered most of his forehead. It seemed that he had just entered.

"Loose, brat!" he smacked me on my hands to let him go. One moment, did that asshole just call me 'brat'? That one won't leave the bar with all his teeth. "Let me go, I say!"

He had become very serious. I did what he asked for and I sat down again, confused. He smoothed his shirt, staying up. The other two were very serious too and were looking at the blond who was coming to us. There was tension in the air.

"Oh, my God!" the newcomer put his hand on his head. "Why the hell out of all the damn pubs in this city I have precisely to come into the one you are in?"

"Call it destiny, mon amour." A crooked smile curled his lips. "How are you, Arthur? It's been a long time."

"It would have been more if it was up to me" he snapped, "but I had to dock here."

"So are you already a captain?" the Frenchman feigned surprise. "Congratulations, cher!"

"So it is. And are you still a wine bastard or was it just a passing phase in your life?"

"What are you saying about a passing phase? I'm the best oenologist you are going to find in all your life and know, mon amour, that I work in the best winery in the area, so come to my house when you want and I'll give you a bottle." He winked. "I still live in the same address, I guess you know it, with the difference that now I reside in the apartment that was yours."

"No way will I put a foot in that place." He added with repugnance. "And what about you two? I read that the monstrosity that crosses the bay is yours." He told the albino.

"Monstrosity? It's the best engineering structure you'll see in your whole damn life, and you'd like any of the bridges that cross your dear Thames to be half as amazing as the one I'm building here."

"I work on a ship, I go on a magnificent engineering structure every day, idiot." The Englishman replied (I deduced it from the Thames). "What about you, Antonio? Did you finish your 'formative cycle' of teaching or your brain isn't good enough for finishing such an easy degree?"

"Your fucking mother, eyebrows, I swear I'll kill you." Antonio got up ready to jump over the table to hit that Arthur guy, who moved backwards, but the albino held the bastard on time.

"As irascible as ever." The browed said, laughing. Irascible Antonio? Who was he talking about? "And who's this?" He pointed at me contemptuously. "His face seems familiar to me."

"Don't you see the resemblance? It's Romu's grandson!"

"Ah…" he looked at me from feet to head. "Yeah. Well, I leave you. I hope we won't see again."

"Same." Antonio and the albino said together with weariness.

The browed blond headed for the bar followed by the glances of Gilbert and Antonio, who threw him daggers, and the malicious one of the Frenchman, who didn't take his eyes off him. He sat next to me again, a particular lascivious smile formed on his lips.

"How nice is your friend." I said sarcastically.

"He's not our friend." Antonio said with a hint of hate in his voice, which surprised me, since the bastard is mister sympathy and likes everyone. "He's a moron."

"We had an affaire." The Frenchman confessed. I spat my drink when heard that.

"Fuck, Francis, don't remind me" Antonio said with horror, "we lived together then and I found him in the morning as God brought him into the world coming out from your room. I still have nightmares with that image."

"It was just the night before he left" the Frenchman ignored the complaints of the other two and continued to remember, "first we made out on the beach and then we continued the party at home. We haven't see each other since then… This must be the work of destiny, no doubt."

"Destiny my foot, Fran!" the German said. "He's a ship's captain and there is a damn port here, he'll be here a couple of days and he'll disappear again. That's all."

"Yeah… Then I think I'll go to remember good times… I mean, to bother him a bit… I mean, to…"

And he went with the Englishman, who welcomed him shouting and with a face of disgust.

"Fuck, no wonder he hates the Frenchy" I said, "but what did he do to you two so you have that mutual hatred?"

"Bothering us all he could" the German answered, "specially Toño." He put an arm over him.

"Don't remind me." Said the bastard bitterly. "Damn idiot…"

"I know! Next time we will sing him Yellow submarine, which will be what his boat will become if he sail it." The albino tried to cheer him up, with a stupid idea in my opinion, but that got a slight laugh from the bastard.

No doubt the atmosphere of partying had gone to hell, it was enough to see the faces of my two companions to realize it. We finished our drinks and decided to leave.

That's when the night really got dark for me.

I grabbed my wallet and… what the fuck?! I didn't have enough money to pay the bill for what I had drunk. I searched and searched some lost bill in all my fucking wallet, but nothing, I didn't have an extra euro. I was stunned contemplating poverty in my own hands.

"What happens, Lovi?" The bastard asked me. "Are you daydreaming?"

"Eh… no… I don't have enough…" I showed him the empty wallet. "I don't have more money."

"Ah, don't worry, man! I'm not gonna let you stay here washing glasses," he joked, ruffled my hair and paid the waiter, "I treat you, no problem."

But there was a problem, a very big and fucking problem, at least for me. It wasn't that I carried an insufficient amount of money in the wallet because of a forgetfulness, but that the amount I brought from Italy (the few savings I kept in my moneybox) had been shrinking little by little until there's practically nothing left.

Dammit, I had to get money somehow or I'd have to say goodbye to go shopping and to go out constantly with the bastard, even if he didn't mind to treat me once, twice, or infinite times, I didn't think it was right to take advantage of his generosity… Fuck! It's not that I cared about him or his economy, but the guy worked more than a Chinese to carry out everything and achieve his dream.

The only chance I saw of getting money for my expenses quickly was to ask my grandfather, I didn't think he would deny it to me, wouldn't he? But throughout my life I had never need to ask anyone for money, I always got it by my own means, and having to turn to grandpa to obtain it was a bit humiliating.

However, it's supposed that if someone has two people under his protection, in this case Feliciano and me, the person in question will take care of all their needs, including economic ones, so it could be said that grandpa was obliged to cover my needs. It was enough to stand in front of him and say something like "Old man, I need money, give it to me"… what a phrase of a petty thief, can someone be more pathetic? I feel the urge of hitting myself for thinking about something like that, I wouldn't get anything like that, maybe that my grandfather send me packing.

And in these thoughts I was immersed on Sunday afternoon while pretending to watch a fantastic movie on TV with Feliciano, who was dozing next to me on the couch (and he was the one who wanted to watch the film in question, I guess to remember his planet).

"Lovino" grandpa called me seriously, that wasn't a good sign, and in a low voice for not waking up my brother, "come with me a moment."

I pushed Feliciano the sleeper aside, because his head was resting on my shoulder. He didn't wake up. I followed grandpa to his study.

"What happens?" I asked with tediousness after closing the door. "What have I done now?"

"Do you feel remorse?" he asked curiously. "What have you done?"

"Nothing!" I exclaimed, ofended at being accused of… I don't know of what, because the old man had turned an innocent question into a kind of confession. "It's you who has called me, what do you want?"

He didn't answer immediately. From a drawer of his desk he took out an envelope and several fifty-euro bills that put into it. I was stunned contemplating the orange color disappearing within the white, it was incredible that what I needed was so within my reach.

"This money is for you to give it to Roderich tomorrow, it's the payment for his classes." I think he said, I wasn't listening to him. "Lovino?" grandpa snapped his fingers in front of my nose and pulled me out of the trance. "What's wrong? I was talking to you and it seemed you weren't listening to me."

"No… nothing…" I answered absently.

"Lovino, don't lie to me." He crossed his arms and adopted a serious expression. "What's wrong?"

"Eeeh… well…" I looked alternately at his eyes and at the envelope that was still in his hands. I had to tell him, it was the perfect opportunity. "I… need money…"

He frowned and looked at me inquisitively without saying a word. He was making me nervous.

"What do you want it for?"

"What do I want it for?" I spat. "What do you think I'm going to want it? I have expenses, you know?"

He made a face of annoyance, very similar to the ones that Roderich showed me daily, I think he didn't like the way I answered him, I just hope he won't imitate the Austrian's punishments.

"How did you get money in Italy?"

I didn't expect that question.

During the last year in Italy I was working. Yes, I worked in fifteen different restaurants in Rome, all with owners who verged the extreme bullshit, because there was no one that allowed me to develop my skills as a waiter without raising objections.

Moreover, my parents gave Feliciano and me some money weekly, which, although it wasn't so much, let me cover some expenses. And well… if sometimes I needed more and I didn't have other way to get it, I pilfered some bill to my father from his wallet, the idiot thought that it had been my mother (who did it too) and, due to he's scared of her, he didn't dare to speak. But of course, with my grandfather I would never think about doing something like that, the old man is not idiot, although sometimes you could think otherwise.

"I had a pay and I worked." I finally answered after my mental reflection.

"What was your job?"

"I was a waiter."

"Where?"

"Do you want the list?" I puffed my cheeks, so much questioning was starting to bother me.

"There's no harm in having some references."

"My references are a fucking shit, my bosses were half retarded, for not saying they were completely retarded, and my colleagues screwed me around, do you want to know anything else? They wouldn't say anything good about me even if they were bribed."

The old man started laughing loudly, making me confused. I don't know what he found so funny in what I had just said, I didn't see it.

"Very well, Lovino," he wiped the tears from his eyes, "don't worry. Tomorrow I'll talk to the manager of my restaurant to give you a job as a waiter on the night shift, so it won't interfere with the violin lessons."

"But… WHAT?!" I shouted, surprised. "I have asked you for money, not for a damn job!"

"You won't think I was going to give you money just like that, just for coming and asking me, right? As if I was a bank…"

"And isn't it supposed to be what grandparents do?"

"I don't know what kind of grandfather does that, but I assure you that I don't."

"I'm sure if Feliciano were the one asking for it, you'd give it to him." I said softly, bending my face and crossing my arms.

Shit, I had screwed it up once again. Grandpa heard my comment and remained silent for a while, I think I offended him. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I felt his eyes on me. He grabbed my chin and forced me to lift my face.

"You and your brother are different" he told me seriously, although he didn't looked angry. I clenched my fists, preparing myself to hear how I was going to be compared with my perfect brother once more, as it always happened, "both have virtues and defects, but doesn't mean that one is better or worse than the other. You are both my grandsons and, although the relationship I have with each other of you is different, I love you both equally."

And before I could react, the old man wrapped his arms around me against my will.

"The things we want must be earned with effort, Lovino, otherwise we get wrong ideas about what we really deserve."

He separated from me and smiled. He forced me to take the envelope to give it to Roderich and then he took out a twenty euro bill from his wallet and put it in my hand.

"Take this, so you can see I'm not that bad."

He kissed me on my forehead and ruffled my hair before my total bewilderment before leaving laughing from his study. My grandfather was a walking enigma.

I looked at the blue bill and smiled slightly.

I had gotten more than I expected.