Tonks stretched tiredly and let out a yawn, leaning back in her chair, surveying the piles of messy reports piled up on her desk which threatened to fall over any second. Ever since the mass Death Eater breakout from Azkaban a couple of weeks ago, Mad-Eye ordered all the experienced Aurors into the field, stationed in various locations around Hogsmeade. They were supposed to be watching out for any Death Eaters or Dark magic of the sorts, but she knew they were all watching one place, Hogwarts. She twirled a quill distractedly between her fingers, letting her mind drift off to other daydreams.. namely, Remus Lupin. "Just a few more minutes." she thought to herself "Then you can go home.. well, wherever home is." She found herself drawn more often to the dark halls of Grimmauld Place, and no matter how many times she denied it to herself, Tonks knew that she wasn't staying there because of Sirius' mother in her screaming portrait. She sighed and put down her quill, staring at it with a slight misery. Remus was always there with a cup of tea and a small smile to greet her, whenever she came back from a rough day at the office, but lately he seemed more.. withdrawn. His hair was lined with more gray than usual, and his eyes lost the merry twinkle whenever he smiled. Remus was always weary after he disappeared once a month, but she didn't notice it that much, until now. Her hair subconsciously turned a dark blue and sighed. He even seemed more tired in his letters! Two or three-word answers filled the small page, and she felt she would go mental if she caught him leaving the room one more time whenever she came in.

"Oh hello Nymphadora, still working your pretty head off?" a smooth, sly voice cut into her thoughts and she rolled her eyes.

"Hello Kaventry." she said bitterly. "What brings you here, and how soon can you leave?"

"Feeling a little hostile now, are we?" he smirked.

Tonks huffed, clearly annoyed. Ever since she became an Auror, Kaventry has been a thorn in her side.. literally. She had once been forced to hit him with a Stinging Jinx, when he wouldn't stop tugging on her hair, saying "Make it blue! Make it purple!" His dearest ambition was to be the next Minister of Magic, but honestly, she's seen house-elves more talented than he was.

"So anyways.." he continued, leaning against her desk "I was just wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?" he winked, obviously thinking he could win someone over with a smile.

Tonks let out a derisive laugh "With you? No thanks, I'd rather go on a date with a dementor. At least it would be funnier than you." She didn't really mean to be cruel, but lately she was in a bad mood more often, since Sirius was constantly depressed, what with Harry's problems at Hogwarts.

Kaventry's face darkened "Oh that's right, you're going out with that Lupin bloke, aren't you." he sneered

Tonks tried her hardest to keep her temper in control, but her hair unwillingly turned a deep shade of red, which made Kaventry smirk even more.

"We are not dating, you prat." she said slowly.

Kaventry sighed dramatically "Well, I don't blame you.. I mean, who would want to date something like that?"

Tonks started, looking up in surprise "What do you mean?" she snapped

A mock surprise slowly appeared on his face "You mean you don't know?" he gasped, covering his mouth with his large hand "You've been living with him-" "What?!" "-for months now," he continued, ignoring her outburst, "And you don't know?"

Standing up she gripped her wand tightly in her hand "Either spit it out, or for Merlin's sake, I will shut your abnormally large mouth for you." she warned.

Kaventry held up his hands defensively "Remus is a werewolf." he smirked.

Tonk's mouth fell open and stumbled backwards "He's.. what?" she said, momentarily stunned

"He's a werewolf." he repeated impatiently.

Tonks sat on the edge of her desk, feeling the colour rapidly drain from her face and her hands automatically clenched into shaky fists. No wonder why he was avoiding her! He didn't want her to know! She stood up abruptly, ignoring the Sneakoscope she promptly knocked over.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go." she says coldly, grabbing her jacket and wand.

Taking a step back Kaventry winked. "Alright, tell me how it goes dearie."

Tonks pushed past him and headed for the nearest fireplace, Flooing directly to her home. She had a heated debate inside her head. Should she tell him she knew he was a werewolf, or wait it out and see if he cares for her or not? Pulling her cloak tighter around her, she sat in her favourite chair of the living room, staring blankly at the fireplace. Yes. She would wait. For now..

.-.

Tonks pushed her hair out of her tear-filled eyes, letting out a sob. She held a slightly crumpled picture of Sirius and her when they were little in her hand, staring at it with anguish. No.. she still couldn't believe her cousin was gone from her life.. She couldn't believe it. The moment he fell through the hazy veil in the Department of Mysteries, his life taken by her wretched relative, Bellatrix, she felt a familiar numbness course through her. He had always been the life of the party, literally, and she could recall the memories they shared when they were younger.

'Sirius-ly Tonksie,' he grinned, making his five-year old cousin giggle. He picked her up lightly, surprisingly gentle for a child, and twirled her around, smiling at her laughs and claps her hands. 'You can be the Minister.' he teases, making her shake her head stubbornly. 'No!' she yells, hitting the carpet beside her. 'You can be an Auror.' he grins, laughing at her same reaction. 'You can be the headmaster of Hogwarts!' he yells. 'No no no!' she shouts, between fits of laughter. 'Alright, what does Tonksie want to be?' he asks innocently, already knowing her answer. 'Sirius!' she decides, her hair turning a light pink, and they both burst into laughter.

"Tonks..?" a quiet voice asks, a light cutting into the darkness of the library and a tall shadow enters the room, making her turn her head away, the tears streaming down her face even more.

"Tonks.." Remus walks slowly over to her, feeling his heart break a little as he sees her crying. Surprise momentarily flashes in his eyes; he was more used to seeing her being the strong one, always determined, but he couldn't blame her.. His best friend was gone.. But at least he still had someone..

"Oh Remus!" she cries out, and forgetting the chill between them she throws her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder.

Temporarily stunned, Remus stood there for a few agonizing seconds, then holds her tightly, wrapping his arms comfortingly around her. "Shh.. It's okay Tonks, it's going to be okay.." he soothes, stroking her hair a little, feeling tears prickling in his eyes.

"H-He's gone!" she gasps, squeezing her eyes shut. "S-Sirius! I m-miss him so much!"

Letting out a choked noise in the back of his throat he nods "I.. know. I miss him too.." he quietly says, still holding her tightly.

Tonks pulled back suddenly, her eyes still filled with tears but now a slight anger shows on her face. "F-First my friend was killed in a-a Death Eater raid, then S-Sirius left me.." she chokes out "And now you've p-pushed me away!"

Remus stiffened and his hands clench tightly. He knew this would come up eventually, but all he could do is avoid it.. "I-I'm not pushing you away.." he says quietly, but curses himself for letting out such a lame excuse.

Tonks scoffed, and takes a step back. "You're not pushing me away?" she exclaims "So why has it seemed like you leave whenever I enter a room? Or that you always look so sad whenever you see me? Or the fact that you barely write to me when I'm on missions, like you don't care whether I'm still alive or not?!" she says loudly, folding her arms across her chest and dares him to argue.

Remus fidgeted nervously and looked down, gritting his teeth, clearly trying to control himself. "Because.. I can't be with you."

Glaring at him, hurt is apparent on her face, "And why not?" she says, knowing the answer but waits to see his reaction.

"Because.." he mutters. "I'm a werewolf." he finally lets out, studying the dark carpet intently and doesn't want to look up to see her expression.

"I know."

Remus looked up in surprise, and Tonks was relieved to see his mask, that usually covered his emotions so well, breaking a little. "You.. know?"

Feeling some relief wash over her she nods and takes a step forward, looking up into his brown eyes "I found out.. a couple of weeks ago.." she softly says

Remus fought the urge to smile and shook his head "No, no it still does not matter. I-I am too dangerous to be with you.. with anyone!" he bursts out

Slowly lifting up her hand, she settles it gently on his face. "I know, and I don't care." she whispers, seeing the shock break through on his face. Reaching up, she softly kisses his lips, her hair turning back to a vivid pink. Remus, startled, he stood in shock for a moment, then returned the kiss, tightening his grip on her. She runs her hand through his brown hair, feeling a warmth spread through her, banishing the cold chill that lingered in the house. Tonks finally breaks their hold and looks up at him, tentatively searching his eyes for any expression. He lifts a hand to his face slowly and shakes his head, breaking out of the dream-like state.

"No, no this-this can't happen. I-I can't-" he stammers, backing away towards the door.

Tonks reached a tentative hand out to him and was startled to see him stiffen. "But-"

Pain flashed through his eyes and he rubbed the back of his neck, denying the fact that he very much wanted to kiss her again, but it took all of his will to step towards the door. He still felt a slight tingle where she kissed him, and for a moment he felt.. loved.

But taking a deep breath, Remus quietly said "I'm sorry.. I can't do this.." turning swiftly around, he disappeared from the library, leaving a very confused and heartbroken Tonks behind.