Notes: OoC, without Beta (I want to remind you, readers, that English is not my first language xD and I lack some vocabulary :P)
Answer to Duval's review: Thanks you. I had great times with my family and friends :D I am so happy you like my Rush... because he is so out of character... I wish I could made him more in sometimes..., you know, to use his sarcasm and his manners. You said that you "still love my story", and I am wondering about that still. Was in the last chapter anything that you didn't liked? And, what would you like to happen next? :) I'm open to suggestions, so don't be shy and ask ;)
To the rest: Happy New Year. n.n
7. In which the crew learn the truth, sort of.
He saw it. He saw it so clearly over his desk. So, Rush was angry at him? Was it because the letter? Or was it because... because he was back with Chloe? Maybe he saw them in the infirmary, and that's why he was upset.
Rush was sitting on a chair looking at him making a strange face.
"So, why are you here now?" asked with a tone of voice he couldn't understand.
"I am here to talk about the letter."
Rush raised his brows. "Continue," he said when Scott kept quiet.
"I... I'll assume you are not happy about it?" He looked around, then to Rush again. Rush was so relaxed on his chair. "And you are not happy about me... being with Chloe?"
Rush burst laughing surprised him. "Oh, no, lad. I'm more than pleased." He was smiling so brightly.
"Ah... Yeah. I suppose?"
"Yes. It's kind of... freeing. This nonsense you wrote worried me. But now I am so at peace."
Scott's stomach started to hurt. He was happy that Rush would let him go this easy but... it hurt. His pride, mostly. Then, a thought came to him.
"Are you seeing someone?"
Rush rise a brow, losing his smile. "I am seeing you right now."
"You know that's not what I mean."
"Ah, no?"
Scott fisted his hands. Rush could be such a jerk when he wanted. "Do you have a lover?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Dammit, Rush! Just answer, yes or no!"
"Why should..." But at the face that Scott made, Rush stopped mid-way and sighed before answering. "As a matter of fact, no, I don't."
"Are you sleeping with someone then? Outside a relationship?"
"Why are you asking me all of this? Why is this relevant to you?"
"Because... Because it is you, Rush! I... I love Chloe. I love her with almost all my might."
Rush was slightly worried before asking "Almost...?"
"Because part of me, a microscopic part of me still wants to be with you."
Rush rose from his seat, losing valance for a second, then hurried towards the door and opened it. "Out! Stop being so half-assed about this and get out of my sight."
When Scott reached the door Rush added "If you ever hurt Chloe again, I'll take care of you."
"Like you are one to talk."
Rush gave him a cunning smile. "That's another completely different thing here, lad."
Scott left, feeling utterly wrong. He shouldn't be this shaken. He thought he had moved on. He thought he had forgotten him. But listening to him degrading what they had – whatever it was – to a crumpled silly love letter hurt more than what he thought. It was so unfair that Rush could forget about him this easy and he couldn't.
Scott stopped mid-way. He... just couldn't. Why?
/0/
Eli saw it all. He could sense something was up between those two. Something he surely didn't want to know at all. Yet. Because he didn't know if knowing it would endanger his situation, since the secrets those two shared were life-threatening, always. So knowing or not knowing? Which one was better?
But of course, if you don't know, you are unaware of the dangers. Only when you know you can decide if it was better to be oblivious to it. He realised he was staring so he averted his gaze. Now this was better. Meat, and a small omelet, with some sour tomatoes and alien lettuce and the everlasting sweet potatoes. He should eat now, instead of glaring at his plate, but he had just lost his appetite. Why was he this damn curious, uh?
"Eli, everything ok?"
He looked up and saw Lt. Vanessa James talking to him. Uh? Since when was she here?
"Yeah, good. It's just that... this is all so weird. I mean, until now we had to count every ounce of food we used so we wouldn't run out of it and now... This looks like a feast and I feel kinda weird with all this much on my plate. You see? Seems like a waste."
"Uh, so... you were deep in thoughts about food?"
"...Yeah... kinda."
"You made sad faces, you know?"
"Really." Eli took a spoon to look into it. At James' laughter he lowered the spoon and gave her a look. "You were mocking me."
"Yes, just a little bit," she said, putting the last of her meal into her mouth. After she swallowed she continued. "You were looking at Dr. Rush and Col. Young. Are you worried about what they are talking about?"
Eli winced. "No, not really."
"I'm asking this because you would be the one to know. I mean, I have been under Col. Young's command for a while but I think inside Destiny you are the most experienced when it involves both of them."
"Nah! Nothing to worry about, really. It's just that I was wondering if it was better to ask or to leave it be. You know, sometimes is better not to know."
She nodded. Then, Rush voice caught their attention.
"...would have happened if you could get your little pet-soldiers to keep their dicks inside their pants!" He got up, angry, and left the mess hall.
All stares went to Young, who was looking as dumbfounded as them.
"See? I was talking about that," pointed Eli.
James nodded, still in awe, not knowing what was all this about and choosing Eli's method: better not get her nose into this.
/0/
Colonel David Telford, in the body of Airman Darren Becker, was trying to keep his face neutral. He could see that Rush fit better now in his trousers, and his t-shirts looked smaller too. It was getting so obvious that he had trouble not to grin widely. That would get Rush mad, and he needed Rush to be in his best behaviour for a while before teasing him.
"...why the power is always charged below 70%. And Mr. Brody thought that we could cannibalise some of the sheedships components or even the stargates themselves to fix it manually. Maybe this way and re-routing the extra power we get to these systems we could use Mr. Wallace's idea and data on a new attempt to..." Rush stared at him. He stared back. "Is it something wrong, colonel?"
He hid a laugh with a cough. "Mm, no, everything's all right. Continue, please."
He was going to continue with the scheduled point but he stopped again and stared at him again. Telford stared back, too.
"Do you care telling me why are you staring at my stomach and not at the data you have right in front of you, colonel?" he said, deliberately slowly, poisonous and very, very angry in a low, quiet voice.
This time, Telford couldn't help himself and smiled at Rush dearly. "You are so cute in this state. I wish I could take a pic and go back with it. I would put it on my desk."
Rush's face went from worried-pale to aggravated-red. But he said nothing. He wouldn't dare to start this kind of conversation when half of his scientist team was present and listening to every word with such interest. Telford smiled at him again and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I think we need to talk about it, Nick, it has started to show."
"Well, David, that's none of your business." The way Rush used his name sounded more like moron, or bastard than his own name, but it was okay, he was used to it by now. He smiled again.
"Um... Colonel Telford?" It was Dr. Volker.
"Yes, Doctor?"
"Can we... ?"
"Oh, yes, yes. I am sorry. Proceed."
Before they continued Rush coughed something that sounded very much alike to "ass-hole" or "arse-hole" to him. This was going to be amazingly interesting.
/0/
And yeah, after the briefing there was this juicy rumour about Telford flirting with Rush in front of the science team in the middle of it. And this came to Lt. Scott's ears, and it sting like a bitch. And Scott wasn't in the mood to be mad at the entire world just because a man was flirting with the man that was carrying his child. Nope, he should... But still the poor bulkhead received the total force of his repressed wrath in the form of a punch. And right after that, Scott didn't know what hurt more, if his feelings or his hand.
His hand, maybe. He was getting dizzy. "Shit. This sucks," he whispered going towards the infirmary where he hoped not to find anybody except TJ or Varro or Cole or whomever was there, but just only one person, please. Ah! Not feeling lucky today, eh, Matthew? Voices. More than one. Inside. But my hand is killing me.
So he dared to enter the infirmary, to find that the voices came from another place and not the main room.
"Hello? Is anybody here? I need some help," he said, raising his voice and hoping it didn't sound too pained. His eyes had tears and could feel each palpitation of his hand like a reminded of the frailty of his limb when competing with a metal wall. Next time I'll wait until I got to my quarters and punch the pillow, he thought, hopping there were no next time.
"I'll be there in a minute," came TJ's voice.
"'kay."
And minutes passed. And his hand hurt, and he rested on a bed and tried not to scream and he felt the tears falling down. When he heard the voices again he got up, drying away the tears, and stood as straight as he could manage.
Then, Camile came out, followed by TJ, followed by Rush. TJ came to him in a heart beat when he showed his hand. What a pretty violet colour it had. He ignored Rush and Camile, not because he wasn't curious about what was not-Camile – yep, that couldn't be Camile, she moved differently, stones maybe – telling him. Maybe a check up, maybe about the baby. Nope, he ignored them because he couldn't ignore what TJ was doing with his hand.
"Christ! What did you do here? You are lucky there aren't any fractures, as I can tell."
"Well, you know me, TJ. I was dared to destroy a bulkhead and failed."
"Yeah. It was Greer then. I'll have to talk to him."
He grinned. Both of them knew that was a lie, but because it was a funny lie they both would carry on.
/0/
This was not so funny. He had to be there, right? He had to come just when he had his check up. And it was not one innocent with ultrasonic check up, no. It was the one in which he had to strip waist down and lie on his side and let those two crazy medics put that cold metal bar inside him so it could measure whatever it measured.
And Lt. Johansen laughed and Dr. Lam giggled. Dr. Lam explained why to him. "You see, remember when we found the linking towards the uterus? Well, it is producing some kind of lubricant, in the case you would have se-"
"I see," he cut. He felt his ears hot, and he knew he had all his face red, and that he was blushing more than ever in his life and he knew the blush was going down his neck. Not because that little organ was producing lubricant, but because it reminded him of some shameful things he did with Col. Young a few weeks ago... And he didn't want to remember. Not now, not ever.
"And," she continued. "You might feel some change in your chest. There's a high possibility that you will grow breasts." At his stare of horror she stopped briefly. "Nothing too big. You won't even enter the A cup, so relax. It will last only a couple of weeks after you give birth. Unless you want to breastfeed."
So perfect!, he thought, not feeling like it was remotely of being perfect. His body was feeling foreign already, thank you very much. He didn't need any new change. So fucking perfect.
So, when he heard Lt. Scott's voice he tensed up. He wanted to get out as soon as possible. He wasn't comfortable being in the same room as him anymore. Because he would remember too the feel of the boy and he was feeling pretty horny today which was really odd for his age and he just wanted to hid in his quarters and see no-one.
Finally safe from prying eyes in his room, he took off his clothes and got in bed. Lately he had been feeling exhausted, more than what was normal, anyway. He could see it, a smooth curve that threatened to take away his peace of mind as soon as the rest of the crew saw it too. It was getting bigger and bigger and he wouldn't be able to hide it for too long. He wouldn't ever recognise it before anyone, even himself, but, he was scared of their reactions.
They reacted pretty well to TJ's pregnancy. Then again, she was loved by everybody, she was pregnant before coming to Destiny, and she was a woman. Women were supposed to get pregnant; men weren't.
Sighing, he touched his stomach, carefully, fearing it could explode. This was why he wanted to be alone. He felt so lost. He needed someone's caress, another body pressed to his, giving him the heat he wasn't able to attain. It wasn't a material heat, it was more about feelings. He was being too sentimental and that affected his work.
"I can't do this alone."
Of course he could. He could, only if the rest of the crew didn't... Okay, he needed support. But he wasn't going to get it here. Well, he could ask TJ – and since when did he thought of the lass as TJ and not as lieutenant? – but it could be harder for her, since she lost her own baby. She... she was copping really well with him being pregnant. He could ask Chloe too, but that meant being nearer to Lt. Scott and he couldn't bear the lad anymore. He could ask Eli, but he doubted Math-Boy could keep his mouth shut. He could go to...
No. He wasn't going to... But. Maybe he was the only one. "Don't think about it and sleep," he scolded himself.
/0/
"TJ, I need to talk with you," said Col. Young, entering the infirmary like a hurricane. It was late in the evening, and she was doing the inventory alone, as always.
She looked up. He seemed to be agitated by something. Really, really bothered. He was clenching and unclenching his hands, breathing irregular, not staying on the same spot for long.
"Calm down, take a seat," she said, getting up and going to close the door. Then she guided the man to her private office, and closed that door too. "Okay, what's wrong?"
"Do you have any results regarding...?"
She nodded. "Nothing out of the ordinary."
"Exactly as Scott?"
She nodded again.
"I can't be sure that that's good, though. Matt came yesterday too. He said he was feeling something in the tip of his fingers, like the ghost of having touched something, as if he needed to touch it again, he said."
"Oh." This seemed to calm him a bit. "Well, I have that same ghost-like feeling," he said, looking down at his hands. "But it's not about touching. It's about smelling. There is a smell... I can't take it off my nose." He looked away, clenching his hands again. "I need to..."
"Is it about... Rush?" she asked carefully. The pained look on his eyes was intense. He blushed faintly.
"I need to... smell him," he confessed, embarrassed, not looking at her.
She nodded.
Neither of them talked.
"How strong is it?"
"I...," he didn't finished, the crackle of the radio interrupted them.
"Col. Young, Scott here, come in, sir."
Young sighed. "This is Col. Young, go ahead Lieutenant."
"Mr. Brody found something interesting. You might want to come and see it."
Young looked at TJ with a resigned look. "Okay, I'm on my way, were are you?"
And he left.
TJ stayed there, alone, feeling... nothing. Then, a sudden weight came down to her stomach.
"This... is too much for me," she mumbled. "I need a vacation soon."
/0/
Just few minutes latter, Young found Brody, Volker, Scott, Rush, James and Inman in a conference room. This room was adjacent to a storage room. Over the table there was a small white device. It looked like a Rubik's cube, with some hollows in spheric shape on the corners. Rush was leaning on the farthest wall, glancing at it, not so sure about all that people being reunited in the room, that close to the device.
He glanced towards the scientists, then the military, then the cube, then the scientists again.
"What is that?" he asked finally.
"That's... ah... wait...," came a panting voice from the door. Everybody turned around to see Eli with a hand on the doorframe and the other on his ribs, trying to catch his breath. It looked like he had come running. "That's Fate," he said finally.
Young repressed the urge to snort. First, the ship is called "Destiny", now there's a device called "Fate" aboard it.
"And what does it do?"
Before any of the scientists could answer – and he saw Rush, from the corner of his eye, lean further on the wall, as if he wanted to be more far away from it – Eli talked again.
"It's a matchmaking device which will help any kind of couple to conceive children. It will see if there is a likeability between both parts of the couple and decide whom should carry the baby, such as who is the most suitable to take care of the other, like bringing food, protection and such."
Youngs eyes slid from Scott to Rush briefly. Scott looked fine, but Rush had his jaw clenched.
"So, what should we do with it?" he asked.
"Burn it?" said Rush, startling some of the present.
"Why?" asked him James. "I mean, this thing... Eli, can this thing make women who can't have children conceive?"
"Ahhh..." he hesitated. "What I mean is... Eh... It can get a man pregnant, so... yes, I suppose?"
Everyone's eyes widened with few exceptions. All the male present stepped back, away from Fate.
"What...?" started Inman.
"How do you know that?" cut Volker. They were all looking at Eli. Except Rush, and Young knew because he was looking at the scientist. He had his eyes shut, arms taut, hands gripping tight his biceps, breathing slowly, as if trying to calm himself.
"Well, Rush is pre..." Eli blabbed and when he realised what he was doing he cut mid sentence and covered his mouth with a hand.
Several pair of eyes looked at Rush, who was still leaning on the wall, eyes open and expression unreadable. No body moved. The air stilled.
After a very awkward and long pause, he sighed, looking down, then to them. "What?" he snapped.
Then, the world seems to get to motion, people storming out. Rush let his breath out, slowly, hands on his hips, looking down.
In the room there were only four people now.
"Great job, Eli," complained Scott.
"Sorry. I'm sorry! It wasn't my intention. I didn't meant to..."
"It's okay, Eli. They were bound to find out sooner or latter," said Rush, still looking down. "Though I wished it could be latter," just a whisper, but they all heard it.
"Well, I suppose we can celebrate a congratulation party now," said Young. Rush looked at him, with a half smile.
"Ye... yeah," said Eli. "We can give you the gifts that were for..." but Eli fell silent again, looking alarmed at Young.
He smiled at the mathematician. "Yes. We can put those to use now."
/0/
It's ok. It's ok. Holy shit! Of all the people– Why was Eli always blabbering all his secrets? Why? Why couldn't he keep quiet? Well, calm down. Nothing to be afraid of, right? There will only be stares and comments at his back and rumours and he will only be the centre of attention for a few weeks, or months or years. Nothing to worry about.
"Fuck!" Rush wasn't ready to tell anybody yet. There were enough people knowing about it, too many to his liking. "By now, all the crew knows." He shuddered. He had switched off his radio and retreated to his quarters, locking the door. He wasn't really at all. He couldn't confront this.
He tried to sleep, but a faint knock on the door make him tense. He rose from the bed and approached the door.
"Yes?" he asked, almost fearful.
"Doc? It's me, Eli. I... I came to apologise again. Am... let me in?" came the faint voice.
Okay, he could managed Eli. He could vent his rage on him. Maybe a scolding could help. Do not be too harsh, he thought. Nodding to himself, he opened de door. Eli looked at him at a loss, hesitant, so Rush hauled him in by the collar of his t-shirt and closed and locked the door again.
The younger man looked at him with wide eyes, maybe fearful. "What the...?"
"I don't feel like having my door open for too much and you were standing there not taking a step in nor out," he said, flatly.
"I... I see."
"Well?"
"Eh? Ah! Yeah. I'm... I am so sorry. It really, really wasn't my intention. You see? But they were looking at me and they wanted to know how I knew it could get a man pregnant and you came to mind because you are the only example I know and I didn't want to disappoint them not giving any answer but at the same time I realised that you didn't want the word spread over the ship and even when I was sure this would come to light sooner or latter I just talked and-"
"Stop!" cut Rush. "Stop, breathe."
Eli was flustered, and his breath was uneven. "Ye... yeah. Sorry."
Suddenly, Rush felt too tired to talk with Eli. "Look I... I was about to take a nap so, I think it's better if you g..."
Eli was looking at his hands. Rush looked at them too. Nothing new. Nothing until Eli took one on his, lifting it to eye level, black pupils dilated eating away the iris colour. Then without previous warning he got his fingers inside his mouth.
"What the hell?" he pulled his hand free.
"Ah! Sorry... I... I..."
"What were you doing? What are you thinking?" Rush was so aware of the situation now, locked in his quarters with Eli here. And it wasn't as if Eli, if he wanted, couldn't... couldn't... But he wouldn't... Not unless the device was making him act like this and...
"I don't know... I just... thought you must taste good."
Bad choice of words. Bad. Choice. He was feeling his cheeks hot, his lips dry, his pulse jump, his... his crotch coming to life.
And Eli seemed to notice.
He didn't resist when Math-Boy pushed him towards the bed, nor when he undid his trousers. Not even when he took off his t-shirts – first the green one, then the white one. He just shuddered, shivered and trembled in delight when his tongue travelled from his lobe to his groin. He moaned when he bit his clavicle, and pulled him closer when he started to work on his chest. The most delightful part, for his shame, was when Eli took him in his mouth.
This shouldn't be happening, he thought for a moment. But then again, he was horny as hell. Had been all day and this was a way to... Fuck! He didn't know Eli could do those things with his tongue!
/0/
So... He saw Eli entering Rush's quarters. Maybe they were meeting to talk about maths or whatever scientists or mathematicians talked about. But... He rubbed a hand over his face. This was getting off hand again. He needed to control himself more. Touch... Yeah, he felt that titillation on his fingertips.
Matt sighed deeply. He had made his resolve. He wasn't going to go back to him. He... He... He wanted to touch his bare skin, but it was okay, it was just the device and... how much was the device and how much his own desires? This had to end some way. Neither of them could continue like this. How much until the effect wear off? Because, this had to disappear at some point, right?
"Okay, tomorrow morning I'll ask Eli how much does he know about the device and it's effects and... Yes, he will know."
Seconds after, Chloe came to bed and all his worries about Rush or Eli or the device vanished from his mind. She smiled, he smiled back.
Only for those who still remember... and for the ones who forgot. What Eli found so interesting some chapters ago was the name of the device. To him, it was funny that the thing was called "Fate", and, you see, Fate likes to tease around. xD
Chapter 8 prev: "Woooh! Twins?" he said.