We've come to the final chapter of this story. I've really been overwhelmed with the response, so thank you all for reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting! And even though this is the last chapter, please don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.
Chapter 7
Andy walked into her condo and dropped her bag, quickly pulling out the envelope Sam had given her right before he left the station a few minutes before her. He'd told her to wait until she got home to read it and as she sat in Chris' car while he drove her home, she was itching to tear it open. She couldn't imagine what was inside and part of her was terrified.
She sat down on the couch, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees as she stared at the long white envelope she held in her hands. Her heart started beating rapidly as she was suddenly too scared to do anything but stare at Sam's handwriting on the outside of the envelope that simply said "Andy."
At some point after returning from the taskforce, she finally admitted to herself that she was still truly, madly, deeply in love with Sam, but she hadn't told him yet. Their date, and the morning after, had been wonderful. Over the last few weeks they'd started opening up to each other more and talking. The third time he slept over – and, again, didn't flee at the first light peeking through the windows – she actually admitted to him how happy it made her that he wasn't rushing out in the morning anymore.
She'd almost told him she loved him a few times, but second-guessed herself, wondering if she was going to say it simply for the sake of saying it or if she was really ready to go full-steam ahead into their revived relationship. But now, she wondered if she'd waited too long, fought this internal debate for too long. Maybe what she held in her hands was a goodbye note. Sam telling her she waited too long. Maybe he was moving on. She took a deep breath and slowly slid her finger under the flap on the back of the envelope. With a deep breath, she pulled out the letter and unfolded it.
At first glance, it looked like the evaluation Sam had given her before the tie cutting ceremony at the end of her first year on the job. She wondered why he was giving her this again until she noticed the date, today's date. That's when she realized it wasn't an official evaluation because there was no official stamp and the place where Frank's signature would be was empty.
She saw a long list of bullet points and began to read what Sam had written. You, Andy McNally, have grown and developed as a cop, and while I'd like to think it's due, in part, to your fantastic Training Officer, truthfully it's because you're smart and have great instincts. She smirked a bit at Sam's 'fantastic training officer' comment, considering he was her training officer, but she couldn't wait to read more.
It was a timeline of things she'd done, with Sam pointing out the most recent things first. It wasn't until the fourth bulleted item that tears formed in her eyes at the thought of what could have happened if she hadn't kept fighting for what she believed in. If it wasn't for your determination when Epstein shot the kid in the convenience store, he may have been put on trial for murder. But it was you (and Nash) who forced Jerry to keep investigating the scene. You who found the kid's bullet in the wall, and you who helped determine there was a second kid involved in the robbery. You didn't back down when you knew in your gut you were right, and that's what a good cop does.
Andy kept reading, surprised at some of what Sam had written. He'd often commented on the good job she'd done on a case, but he rarely spoke in detail about it. Sometimes she thought maybe it was just a training officer's positive reinforcement, even if she hadn't done a fantastic job and even if he wasn't her TO anymore.
After a few more bullet points, Andy took a deep breath as Sam brought back some horrible memories of him being kidnapped by Jamie Brennan. You risked your career to save a fellow officer. Admitting to Frank you'd been with me at my undercover apartment took guts. But doing that is likely what saved my life. Your insight into Brennan and what he said to you is what led everyone to his farmhouse and to me. You're unselfish to a fault at times, but it helps you save lives.
Maybe she was naive at the time, but as Andy thought back on it, she never even thought about how admitting everything to Frank could risk her career. She'd known he'd be pissed, but all she could think about was making sure Sam was okay and if telling anyone any detail, no matter how minuscule, could help save him, she would do it. She had risked her career, but Sam was more important to her, had always been more important. The fear of him dying at the hands of Brennan had shaken her to her core.
She continued reading and as she came across one particular bullet point, Andy knew this was one Sam had trouble with. Not because he doubted what he wrote, but because of how he left her while investigating the Sophie Lewis/Zoe Martinelli case. You trusted your instincts even when no one else wanted to believe you and stuck with it to find out who killed a former rookie. It takes a strong person to not let others cloud their judgment and do what you think is right. And despite others not making it easy for you, you survived…in more ways than one.
He went on, writing about how great she was undercover, mentioning the time she went under at The Vestibule and got the head waitress to trust her, as well as the time they played Gabe and Edie on a major drug bust. He even briefly mentioned how being chosen for Project Dakota proved what a great undercover asset she was. Andy knew it pained him to bring up anything regarding the taskforce that caused her to be gone for six months. The fact that he brought it up here, despite that, warmed her heart.
She continued reading, realizing there were still several bulleted items left on the list. You are a tough copper, proven over and over, but maybe most when you were shot. You were shot, bruised a couple ribs, but still insisted on following the case through. Determined to get justice for the girl that died, by figuring out what happened, you did what many of us were maybe too busy to do that day. You listened, you comforted the girl's friend and that led us to the killer. When no one would have blamed you if you simply went home, you were strong enough to keep fighting. Fighting for the people out there we serve to protect. It's that lion's heart of yours, that and your determination and strong will, that make you a great cop.
She read through the next few items, where Sam called her courageous, reliable, ambitious, confident and compassionate. She was blushing at all the compliments he was handing out through this mock evaluation.
As she read the last bulleted item, she couldn't help but smile. Last but not least, your first day on the job you didn't let a cocky undercover cop prevent you from doing your job. You stuck with it, persevered and found the suspect. And, of course, taking me down on your first day makes you an AWESOME cop. She let out a small laugh before her eyes scanned up and down the page again trying to comprehend what Sam had done.
She couldn't believe he'd taken the time to write this all out, to think back over the last three years and compile this list. She always figured he could more easily rattle off all the times she'd made a mistake or gotten into trouble, but this was a long list of all the good she'd done.
It suddenly hit her that this was it. The missing piece. The something that had been holding her back. She knew from Sam's actions how much he thought of her as a girlfriend, how much he loved her, but deep down she had to know he thought she was a good cop too. His comment all those months ago about how he shouldn't have trusted a rookie's instincts, her instincts, had left a deep hole in her heart. When Sam apologized for saying that, she thought she'd gotten past it. But it had unknowingly been a silent thought lingering in her head and her heart. Because if he couldn't trust her instincts professionally, how could he trust her at all? However, the "evaluation" showed how much he thought of her as a cop. All the pieces had fallen into place and Andy knew what she had to do.
She dropped the letter on her coffee table and ran out of her condo. She jumped in a cab as she called one of Sam's favorite take-out places. She hopped out just long enough to pick up the food she ordered before she had the cab take her to Sam's apartment. She knocked on his door, bouncing from one foot to the other while she waited for the door to open.
"Andy?" He was surprised to see her. He known she'd probably tear open the envelope he gave her the moment she got home and had been waiting for his phone to ring, but never expected to see her standing on his doorstep.
"Yes." A big toothy grin fell across her face as she looked at his bewildered expression. "Yes. Yes. Yes." She couldn't help but repeat the word over and over.
"Yes?" He still wasn't catching on to what she was so excited about.
She rolled her eyes, but the smile remained plastered on her face. "Yes. As in, you're sorry. I'm sorry. Let's forget that we're sorry. Stop keeping score. I don't want to waste any more time. I love you."
A grin finally spread across Sam's face, his dimples on full display as he understood that she was responding to his plea all those months ago to give him a chance, to give them a chance. "Yeah?" She nodded her head vigorously. "Well, we should probably stop standing on my doorstep then," he said, opening the door wider and waving her inside.
As she walked through the doorway, she held up the large bag she carried. "I brought dinner."
"My favorite," he said, inhaling the delicious smell of the food.
"I know."
She unloaded the bag of food, placing the Chinese take-out containers on the coffee table, while Sam brought plates and two beers from the kitchen. She waited until he piled his plate with food and they were both settled on the couch before bringing up a topic that had been on her mind. "Can I ask you something?" she asked sheepishly.
"Anything."
"Why did you wait? It was six months...and even longer 'till we got to this point," she said.
Sam almost dropped the beer he'd picked up. If he came up with a million questions he thought she'd ask, that was not one of them. "Well..."
"I mean, I'm glad you did, really glad you had faith in us. I just..."
He ran a hand over his face, giving himself an extra moment to think. "If I hadn't gotten your letter, I'm not sure I would have," he admitted.
"Sam...I'm sorry."
"Stop. When you came back, we agreed. No more apologies about what happened." It was true. It was a brief conversation where he explained why he acted the way he did; she told him why she left. There were enough 'I'm sorry's' in that conversation for a lifetime. "Look, knowing you would've come to The Penny that night, that's why I waited. You gave me hope. I wanted to give us that chance you were willing to give me that night."
Her lips curved into a smile. She remembered arguing with Nick after she wrote the letter to Sam. She hadn't been able to speak to Sam before she went undercover, but not knowing how long she'd be gone, she had to tell him something. So, she wrote a letter. She told him Luke offered her a spot on the taskforce and after fighting for it earlier that day she couldn't turn it down. Then she told him she would've gotten that drink. It was short and simple, but Nick was worried about breaking the rules. Andy on the other hand felt like she had more to lose by not sending it, and convinced Nick she would take complete responsibility if anyone found out. The next day she'd taken two cabs across the city and walked another 10 blocks before dropping her letter in a mailbox on the street. There was no way Sam would find out where she was – she knew way too many rules would end up being broken if that happened - and there was no chance anyone had followed her.
"Thank you for waiting." Her eyes found his so he could see how sincere she was and how she truly wanted this to work between them. "Thank you for fighting for us."
"Can I ask you something now?" he asked.
"Sure."
"A few weeks ago you said something was holding you back. What changed?"
She played with the food on her plate, before looking back up at him. "I never stopped loving you, and I know you love me. But there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Tonight, when I read your evaluation of me as a cop, I realized what that something was. You used to tell me all the time what a great copper I was. But you stopped, worrying about the decisions I was making and telling me you couldn't trust my instincts, shouldn't be listening to a rookie's instincts." She held her hand up when Sam opened his mouth. She had to get this out so he would understand. "I know you told me that was in the heat of the moment, but I don't think I truly believed that...until I read your evaluation. And if everything you said in it is true, then I know you think I'm a good cop."
"I do," he said when she finally paused. "You're a great cop, Andy."
"And that's it. Personally, I knew you loved me, but professionally, I needed to know you thought I was a good cop too. Cause what you think matters to me...a lot. I needed to know you could trust me both personally and professionally."
"I'm sorry you ever had to question it," he said. When she quirked her eyebrows at his words, he'd realized he'd used the 's' word. They really never were going to stop apologizing to each other.
"Can we just, you know, make sure we talk? I mean, before…we talked about what to get for dinner or what happened at work, but we never really talked...you know, about the important stuff. Can we try?" She looked at him shyly as she poked at the food on her plate.
"Talking is good. We can do that," he promised. They both knew if they were going to work this time, they had to talk. They couldn't keep their feelings bottled up.
"Sam?"
"Hmm?" he responded with a mouth full of food.
"One more thing. Um…Can we really get a dog?"
The excitement displayed by the grin on her face caused Sam to shake his head in happy disbelief. This girl. How could she still not realize he'd do anything for her?
"Yeah, we can get a dog."
The End.
A/N: Due to the overwhelming response to this story and many requests for this, I'm planning to write a companion piece to this story: The Wooing of Sam Swarek. So, if anyone has any suggestions/ideas for how Andy should woo Sam, let me know! :)
