Chapter 7
The unthinkable had happened again. Here we were sitting in the choir room like always only this time Mr. Shue had in his hand a letter from My Chemical Romance stating that we could not use there song for regional's. So once again the New Directions was back to square one.
"Who wants to bet Coach Sylvester is behind this" Mercedes pointed out.
We all agreed, this was definitely the kind of low level stuff that we have come to expect from coach Sylvester over time. We weren't about to put anything past her.
"I'm one step ahead of you" Mr. Shue explained.
He told us about how he confronted Coach Sylvester in the teachers lounge and she admitted that she had spoken to the drummer of My Chemical Romance and told him about what we were doing, so that's why they sent the letter saying that we couldn't use their song as one of our anthems.
Everyone seemed pretty guttered by the news a lot of Glee were actually looking forward to performing that song, everyone except Rachel that is. I could see the little clogs ticking away in that head of hers, she definitely had something running through her brain and we were about to find out what.
"Mr. Shue I think this is a sign" she said while everyone stared at her strangely.
"A sigh for what Rachel?" Mr. Shue asked.
"That we should write our own songs" She explained.
Everyone groaned and complained that it was a stupid idea, all but Quinn, Finn and Myself. I still thought that original songs still might be a fairly good idea. My theory was we could score better points with the judges; it takes more effort and dedication to write and perform your own songs. At least that was my opinion.
"I think Rachel has a point" Quinn piped up.
The chatter stopped and everyone had there eyes on Quinn. I knew what she was doing. If someone other than Rachel put forward the idea the others might agree with original songs. People just like disagreeing with Rachel because it was Rachel.
"We always do better under pressure and what better way then with original songs" she explained.
"I agree with Quinn and Rachel" Finn agreed.
"Me too" I threw in.
"Besides Rachel has already been working on a number" Finn continued.
"Oh no if we're doing original songs I think we should all get a chance to write something" Santana demanded.
Mr. Shue watched us all arguing about what to do, when he finally called us to attention.
"Ok looks like we're doing original songs" he clapped his hands together.
Rachel and Quinn had agreed to go off and write a song together while the rest of us were going to brain storm and come up with the second number we would perform as a group.
It was easier said than done. That night I sat down at my desk trying to think about something I could write my song on, but got nothing. Finn had said that a song was supposed to come from feelings with in you and yet I couldn't get what I was feeling on to the paper.
All I could think about at that moment was Sam and there was no way I was writing a song about Sam. I mean I'm sure everyone would know it was about him. Eventually I stopped arguing with myself and just wrote down what I felt.
I was actually surprised when I got my first verse and what I could use as a chorus. I hadn't realized how late it was, so I put my song away and got some sleep.
The next day in glee was supposed to be our first song writing lesson. Mr. Shue walked around handing out rhyming dictionaries to everyone. I walked over to Mr. Shue to talk to him about my song when we were interrupted by Santana.
"Hey Mr. Shue, me and Tina have been working on something already" she said getting up and walking up the front.
"Ok lets here it" he encouraged.
I guessed I would talk to him about it after and sat down next to Brittany. Tina got up and walked over to the piano.
"This song I wrote for my boyfriend Sam" she explained, "its called Trouty mouth"
"Wait what?" Sam asked a little shocked and confused.
He wasn't the only one. Mr. Shue looked surprised and maybe a little concerned, but the rest of the room had similar faces to Sam's.
I choked a little trying to hold back my laughter as I watched Sam look at Santana like she was crazy. I'm not sure if he was shocked that she had written a song about him or the fact she called it Trouty mouth. Either one was worthy of the look on his face.
Tina sat down and started playing a tune that she and Santana had been working on and Santana started to sing.
"Guppy Face, Trouty Mouth
is that how people's lips look where you come from in the South?
Grouper Mouth, Froggy Lips
I love suckin' on those salamander lips
Wanna put a fish hook in those lips so cherry red
if you tried hard enough you could suck a baby's head
Wooh!"
"Ok enough with the mouth jokes!" Sam stood up angrily.
"What I wasn't finished?" Santana argued.
She was annoyed that she had been stopped like her song hadn't been offensive towards her boyfriend.
"We are not singing a song called Trouty mouth!" he yelled.
I could understand why he was so angry, if someone had written a song like that about me I would be too. It was rude, nasty and mean even if Santana didn't realize it the rest of us did.
"I'm gonna have to agree with Sam, but I good first try" Mr. Shue encouraged.
Santana looked uncertainly at Mr. Shue before she and Tina both sat back down in their seats. I'm not so sure about being a good first try, I mean if Trouty mouth was the best she could come up with, it made me wonder how the rest of us were going. The others went on trying to start their songs; hopefully they would be a little better than Santana's first attempt. I got up and walked over to Mr. Shue with my song out again hoping to get his critique this time.
"Hey Mr. Shue could a borrow you for a sec?" I asked.
"Sure Amy what's up?" he asked.
"Well I was hoping you would read what I have down for a song" I handed him the paper.
"Sure thing" he smiled.
I watched nervously as Mr. Shue read over my song and waited for him to finish. It felt like ages and all I wanted him was to either say yes its ok or no try again. Was it really that hard? When he finished reading he smiled again.
"This isn't a bad start Amy, I'd really like you to sing it for the others to see what they think" he handed back the paper.
"I don't know I'm not sure its ready for the others to hear just yet" I said shyly.
"Well see what you think later on" he patted me on the back.
I walked back over to where Finn was sitting. He looked at me like he wanted to ask what it was about, but I just shrugged it off. I'm sure he would try getting it out of me later.
I began to wonder how Rachel and Quinn were going. The two of them could barely get on during the best of days. I hoped they were having more luck than us.
Finn and I agreed we would do some more brain storming after school about our songs. I met him at his locker after the final bell and the two of us headed back to his. I sent Quinn a message letting her know, I didn't want her feeling weird about it.
On the way there he brought up what I was talking to Mr. Shue about in Glee that afternoon. I knew he wasn't going to drop it so I figured I may as well tell him.
"Ok so I was showing Mr. Shue a song I've been trying to write basically to see if I'm going in the right direction with it" I explained.
"That's cool, will you let me hear it?" he asked.
"I don't know Finn, its kind of about Sam" I mumbled.
"Wait you wrote about Sam?" he tried clarifying, "its not about his mouth is it?"
"Of course not" I laughed.
"Well that's reassuring" he laughed along with me.
"No, when I was writing I remembered you saying that it had to come from the feelings inside you" I went on.
"I see, so its about those feelings you have for Sam that your unsure about" he smiled.
I didn't really have to go on so I just nodded. I pulled the paper out of my bag and handed it to him when we pulled into the drive way. Once the car had been parked he opened the paper and started reading. He didn't take anywhere near as long as Mr. Shue did, but it was still very daunting watching him read it.
"I like it" he smiled handing the paper back, "its very open, and much better than a song about a headband"
We laughed again before heading inside. When we got through the door I left my bag with Finn while I went to say hello to Kurt. I found him sitting on his bed with tears in his eyes and a box of tissues on his lap. I walked over and sat down. I had never seen him so sad, it was heart breaking.
"Kurt are you ok?" I asked
"He's dead, Pavarotti is dead" he sobbed.
I looked over at the tiny bird cage Kurt had on a stand next to his desk and sure enough there was the little yellow canary lying lifeless on the bottom of the cage. My heart broke a little more inside. I knew how much Kurt cared about that little bird, he had since day one.
"Kurt I'm so sorry" I said as I hugged him tightly.
"He wasn't just a bird, he was my friend" he cried.
"I know he was" I said softly
I hugged him tighter and let him cry. I didn't know what to do or what to say to make things a little easier for him so I didn't say anything at all. After a while he asked to be alone so I slowly walked back down to Finn's room in the basement not sure of what to think. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong.
"Did you know?" I asked him in almost a whisper.
"Know what?" he seemed a little panicked.
"Pavarotti is dead" I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, "Kurt's little bird is dead"
Finn looked at me again, he sat me down on the bed and handed me some tissues before heading upstairs to check on Kurt. They may have only been step brothers a little while, but Finn still cared about him just like any brother would.
When he came back down stairs neither of us were really up for song writing so he drove me home. It was the most quiet drive I think had ever had, but what do you say in a situation like this. I thanked Finn as I got out of the car and I waved goodbye but didn't go inside. Instead I walked straight down to the convenience store around the block in search of a sympathy card for Kurt.
I found the perfect one as well and ironically enough there was a tiny yellow bird on the front. It read "losing a friend, a pet is not just an animal, its also a friend we have found when we least expect it. Losing that friend is hard. That friend is never truly gone though, not in your heart"
I was reading the card over when I felt a tap on the shoulder. I turned and came face to chest with Sam. He looked down at me with concern written on his face. I felt his eyes brush over me looking for any signs that I might be hurt.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
I felt the tears coming back. It wasn't so much about Pavarotti, but more about how hurt Kurt really was. He was my friend and yet I couldn't imagine what he was truly feeling on the inside.
"Come on lets go somewhere else" Sam steered me to the counter.
I paid for the card and the two of us walked down to a small park that was near by. We both sat down on a swing in silence, both us just gently swaying backwards and forwards. I had the card for Kurt placed safely in my bag where it would get crushed.
"By the card I'm assuming your pet died?" he asked.
"Not mine," I shook my head, "Kurt's canary"
"Oh "he muttered.
"He is just so sad and hurt at the moment and I didn't know what to say" I cried no longer able to hold the tears.
I felt myself being carefully pulled up from the swing and two strong arms wrapped themselves around me pulling me in close and not letting go. Sam hugged me tightly resting his head on my own. The warmness and comfort from Sam seemed to calm me down.
We stood there silently for a few moments. Sam just let me cry until I couldn't anymore. I was sure his letterman jacket would have been soaked from my tears. When we finally pulled apart he looked down at me, his blue eyes staring into my green.
"Kurt will be alright he is a strong whether he seems it or not and you don't have to say a thing, just be there when he needs you to be" he said.
I nodded and went to pick up my bag. I pulled out a pen and we both wrote in Kurt's card making sure to add that if he needed anything at all the two of us were going to be there. Sam walked me all the way to Finn and Kurt's house so we could drop off the card. We popped it into the letter box not wanting to interrupt anything and then Sam walked me back home.
I thought it was really sweet of him to care about me the way he did. After making sure I got home ok, Sam headed off to his own home. I headed straight to bed after the day we had I just wanted it to be over already.
The next day I had woken puffy eyed and red nosed from all the crying I had done the day before. So it was safe to say when I got to school I was a bit of a mess. I tried to make myself look as decent as I could under the circumstances.
Sam met me at my locker before glee, looking just as concerned as he had the night before. Said hello before getting my stuff that I would need for my first classes. He waited patiently there while I did.
"How you feeling today?" he asked.
"Better" I forced a smile.
It wasn't a lie, I was feeling better, but I still wasn't feeling like me. I really wanted to find Finn and make sure that Kurt was alright.
We walked to glee together. I sat down next to Finn and Sam sat on my other side. Before anything else I asked Finn how Kurt was doing this morning; he explained that he was going to break the news to the Warblers and Blaine today. I assured him Blaine would help him get through it. Blaine cared about Kurt, but I think in a different way than Finn or me. I was still surprised the two of them weren't an item yet.
Mr. Shue came into the choir room not long after and we went straight back into our attempts at song writing. We were all kind of glad when Mercedes said she had something she wanted to share with us. Everyone found a seat as Mercedes joined the band up front.
"Mama said get your ass out of bed
I said hell to the no
Said wash your grandma's nasty head
I said hell to the no
They tried to take away my tots
I said hell to the no
Yeah, 'cause I'm the one that calls the shots
And I say hell to the no
Try to make me change my weave
Well I got something up my sleeve
It's a whole lot of
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
I said
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
I'm not trying to diva out
But this shows gotta stop so shout
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
Tell me I should eat my wheaties, you know what
Hell to the no (Hell to the no)
Tell me I'll come down with diabetes
Hell to the no (Hell to the no)
Try to make me change my eats
But baby that just isn't me
I'm a whole lot of"
Sam and Artie were holding up signs they had just made that said Hell to the No in big bold letters. I laughed as they raised the signs to the music.
"Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
I said
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
I'm not trying to diva out
But this shows gotta stop so shout
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
Take me you can leave me but I won't ever change
If you don't like the rules don't play my game
Talk to me to get R-E-S-P-E-C-T, but if I don't, it's all in me
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
I said
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
I'm not trying to diva out
But this shows gotta stop so shout
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
I'm not trying to diva out
But this shows gotta stop so shout
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
Awe, hell to the no..."
We all applauded and cheered. It was such a Mercedes song and it managed to brighten my spirits. Even Mr. Shue seemed impressed by the song.
It was then I got the courage to get up with my paper and walked to the front. It thinks it was a bit of what had happened the day before as well, but for some reason I wanted Sam to know how I felt. I actually hoped he realized the song was about him.
"Umm its not anywhere near as good as Mercedes performance, but I've got a bit of a work in progress I wanna share" I looked over at the piano guy, I handed him the sheet music and he started playing.
The music was a lot slower that Mercedes had been before me. Not all of us could write amazing up beat pop songs like she had. I just hoped that they didn't judge me because of it
"Sitting back and watching as you enter a room
Feeling what I'm feeling but you don't have a clue
Waiting for the day that you feel like I do
Knowing that I'm dreaming its not hard to assume
Some days it feels like I am closer than I was before
To you showing that you care and I'm the one you adore
But then I second guess and I'm not sure anymore
When will my turn come?
When will it be my time to feel like the one?
To let myself be free
So I can truly be no one else but me
When will my time arrive?
So I can truly feel like I am alive
All I want to do is show
The side of me I want you to know
I just want you to see the real me"
I let out a shaky breath as I finished and looked over at everyone. Mr. Shue smiled and the other clapped. Finn walked over and congratulated me. He hugged me before leading me to sit back down.
I shot a quick glance at Sam to see if I could work out what he was thinking. His face looked a little confused. I started worrying that I had freaked him out or something. I pretty sure he noticed me watching him because he smiled softly down and me, before turning back to the front.
Mr. Shue stood up and walked to the front of the room. He clapped his hands together and smiled at all of us.
"Guys they were both amazing songs" he said, "but lets put them into the maybe pile for now"
"But Mr. Shue that song was awesome" Mercedes pointed out.
"I'm not saying it wasn't" Mr. Shue assured her.
I could see the disappointment written all over Mercedes face and she had every right to feel that way. I could understand why my song didn't get in but hers was truly amazing.
"I have another verse of Trouty mouth" Santana said excitedly.
Sam immediately held up the sign he made saying hell to the no and showed it to Santana who chose to ignore him. I'd be pretty touchy too if someone made a song like that about me. Mr. Shue settled us all down before he went on.
"Tell me what your all time favorite songs are?" he asked.
Everyone said the name of their favorite song out loudly and Mr. Shue took note. Brit made me laugh a little when she said my headband. It was Rachel's first attempt at a song and it wasn't very good.
"Now what do all these songs have in common?" he asked.
"They are all written about someone's pain?" I suggested.
"Exactly", he said excitedly, "now tell me what causes you guy's pain?"
We all sat and thought for a moment. Santana and Brittany looked over at one another.
"Well Coach Sylvester put dirt in our lockers this morning" Santana said.
This was true as Sam and I were walking to the choir room earlier we walked past Brit and Santana as they were confronted by Coach Sylvester. They turned to open their locker and were covered with dirt that had been concealed within.
"She literally throws sticks at me" Mercedes added.
"Yeah she told people I wanted to legally change my name to Tina Cohen-loser" Tina grumbled.
All the while Mr. Shue was writing these things up on the board. We read along while he was writing and once he had a list he turned to us again.
"And how does this make you feel?" he asked.
"Well at first it hurts, but then it just makes us want to win more" Finn answered.
We all nodded in agreement, it was true she was the most constant thing in the way of the glee club so beating her was always going to be top of the list. Mr. Shue then turned back to the board and wrote something else. When he turned back around we all got to read, 'loser like me'
"Guys I think we have our song"
We all got to work fitting lyrics to match up with our song name. It was easier than we had thought it would be, more than likely because we all had experience feeling this way. Once we got started the words just seemed to flow together and by the end of the day we had our group song.
I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Shue look more proudly at us, it was the first time I had known us all to work together with very little bickering. I hoped Rachel and Quinn were having as much luck as us.
I found Quinn at her locker that afternoon. She told me about how Rachel confronted her in the auditorium when they were supposed to be writing their song. Rachel just didn't know when to stop sometimes. Quinn explained about how after all the pushing Rachel did, she finally let out that her and Finn were kind of together and had been for a few weeks. Apparently she and Rachel got into a bit of an argument over it and Rachel went off to write the song on her own.
As harsh as it might sound, maybe this was this was the pain Rachel needed to write her song. Well at least a song that wasn't about her head band or being an only child neither of them was going to win us regional's.
I walked with Quinn to her car so we could talk a little longer before walking off in the direction of home. I got to the end of the block when I heard a familiar horn sound. Sam rolled down the window and smiled over at me.
"Going my way?" he asked.
"Only if your following me" I joked.
I knew why he was here so I didn't bother asking, I just threw my bag in the back and jumped in the front seat. He hadn't mentioned my song at all after glee so I just assumed he wasn't aware it was about him. I didn't bother to bring it up, so we just chatted about comics. He offered to let me borrow his latest Spiderman in exchange for my newest batman.
Sam came inside for a little bit while I grabbed the comic from my room for him. He was probably the only one who new about my collection other than my mum and was probably the only one who would ever know. Its not that I was ashamed, I just liked having these little things in common with him.
After Sam dropped me off at my house he headed off to his own. I wondered what Sam's place was actually like. I don't know anyone who had been there either. Maybe Quinn had been but I didn't know that for certain. In fact the only things about Sam's home life any of us were certain about was that he had a younger brother Stevie and a younger sister Stacy and he lived with both his mum and dad. That and that he moved to Lima from Tennessee because his dad was offered a job here.
I didn't think too much into it, it's not as if he was hiding anything from us. Sam was definitely not that kind of guy. I let the thoughts leave my mind and focused on homework and practicing for regionals after all it was just around the corner and I wanted to make sure I was ready.
This was a big thing no a huge thing and not just for the Glee club, but for me as well. It was going to be not just my first real show choir competition, but the first time I would sing in front of people who weren't my mum or the new directions.
The New directions had a lot riding on this, last year they didn't even place at regionals. This year though we were better prepared.
It was just a little sad we would be going up against Kurt and the Warblers. One of us was going to win and the other would miss out. They were our friends, but in the end only one team would come out on top.
For the glee clubs sake and Mr. Shue's I hoped it would be us. It would really be a big stick it to Coach Sylvester and might actually show her we aren't going to be pushed around, well not forever that is. We would just have to wait and find out.
It was going to be a long couple of days that's for sure.