A/N: I'm almost done writing this fic, yay! We have about 1-2 more parts to go :D As always, thanks for reading and please R&R

"Wake up and look me in the eyes again
I need to feel your hand upon my face
Words can be like knives
They can cut you open
And then the silence surrounds you
And haunts you

I think I might've inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me"

-Stateless

Kaito found himself hesitating outside Rin's door. He took a big breath before finally pushing it open.

Inside the depressing hospital room sat Len, who had practically been stuck to Rin's side since the incident. He looked like hell with dark bags under his eyes and his hair was unwashed and dirty, like he hadn't even had a shower in a good couple of days.

"I brought you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry", the blonde replied.

"You gotta eat something man, or else you're going to end up in the hospital bed next to Rin", Kaito said setting down the bento on the table.

"Maybe that's what I want", Len said solemnly looking at Rin.

Kaito sighed, "I heard about what happened with Meiko"

"Look, she didn't mean that stuff. You know her-"

"I don't need you to apologize for her", Len cut him off coldly.

But Kaito continued on.

"People just have different ways of coping with death, Meiko lashes out."

Len stood up abruptly and grabbed Kaito by the collar.

"Shut up! Quit talking like she's already dead! She's not dead!"

"Stop being such a jerk Len!" Kaito yelled as he shoved Len off. "You act like you're the only one affected by this! You think you're the one that cared about her? We're all scared to shit about Rin!"

"That's rich coming from you!" Len laughed sarcastically, "You always made fun of her and now you dare to come in here and act like you gave two shits about Rin? Don't make me laugh. You're the reason she tried to kill herself!"

Kaito felt the blood pounding in his ears as his fists clenched tightly digging his nails into the palm of his hands. Before he knew it, his fist was flying towards Len's face making hard contact with the side of his cheek.

"No, You're the reason you idiot! Didn't you see how she looked at you? She was in love! And you abandoned her" Kaito exclaimed before running out the door.

"Kaito!", Miku grabbed his arm, "What happened?"
He looked one look back at Len who had fallen on the floor clutching his face,

"Ask him", he snarled as he shook Miku off and continued to run down the hallway and out of the hospital.

Having run far enough, Kaito finally slowed down and came to a stop as he caught his breath. Outside the snow had blanketed the ground, glistening like small diamonds. He spotted a bench up ahead and took a seat.

Kaito placed his head in his hands as the tears started flowing freely down his cheeks. Len's words kept repeating in his head.

"You're the reason she tried to kill herself"

"I was just a stupid kid!", Kaito yelled out to no one in particular.

He couldn't deny that the guilt was eating him up on the inside. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. It was true that he had teased Rin relentlessly, but he hadn't meant for her to be seriously hurt by him. He just said those words because he wanted to cover up how he felt. He was a coward, he knew how he felt about Rin but he didn't want anyone else to discover those feelings.

The truth was, Kaito had always really liked Rin. Even though he acted like the big man on campus, there was a soft spot in his heart for Rin. Maybe it was the way she was so strong, or the way that she genuinely didn't seem to give a fuck about the status quo. It was the fact that she was so confident of who she was. It was the fact that Rin was everything that Kaito was not, and what Kaito wished he could be.

But Kaito wasn't like Rin. Reputation, popularity, "coolness", these were all things that were extremely important to him. It was all that he had. No one would know it judging from how he was the most popular kid in school, but at one point in his life he had been a hopeless geek, being bullied and stuffed into trash cans after school.

So when his parents had announced to him that they were moving and that he'd get to start fresh at a new middle school, he thought God had finally heard his prayers. He could be anyone he wanted. It was a brand new slate. And since then, he had built up the image he had now. He became the popular kid and now he clung to that title for dear life. He shuddered at the idea of ever being that pathetic loser he once was, he could never go back to that. Never. Even if it meant becoming a bully to others.

-Kaito's flashback-

"Hey look guys, it's Wednesday Addams!", I called out to Rin.

Everyone laughs along with me, and I feel like I've grown twice my size. I'm hoping if I shift the focus somewhere else no one will realize how much of a loser I actually am, how small and weak I am. Deep down, I didn't want to say these kinds of things to her, but I knew I'd have it worse if I didn't say anything or if I even let it slip that I liked her. Because at this school, associating with Rin Kagamine was a social suicide. No one knew what happened to her, she used to be part of my group back in middle school-the popular crowd. But over summer she had changed for the worst and by the time we were freshmen in high school she was automatically deemed an outcast.

I'm waiting for her biting response. I'm waiting for her to glare at me with those fiery eyes, the ones that would secretly light a fire in my heart. The ones that I secretly dreamed of at night when no one else was there.

It was the usual routine. I would throw some insults her way, she would respond back or Len would cut in and say we had somewhere else to be and the day would go on. It was like clockwork. I know it was pathetic, but it was a little part of the day I even looked forward to because it meant that I had an excuse to talk to her.
The truth is I crave Rin like I crave ice cream. She's always been the one thing I've craved more than anything else, because she's also the one thing I can never permit myself to have.

But today was different. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't even look at me. She only looks down at the floor. Maybe that's when I should've known. But I chose to ignore it.

"What? Are you going to ignore me now Rin?", I said, "Hey everyone look at me, I'm Rin! I'm a gothy loser!" I imitate some faces and as usual everyone is cracking up. Everyone that is, but Rin.

God, why couldn't I have just shut up? Why did I have to push it that far? Why was I so cruel to the one person I only ever loved?

She finally turns around to look at me and I smirk expecting her to say something and set me right. That would be my Rin, feisty and strong. But she doesn't say anything, she stands there and looks at me and suddenly it's like I'm glued here on the ground.

Her eyes were so vacant and dead. Like she didn't even have the strength left in her to say anything anymore.

I trekked back to the hospital room.

"Kaito?", Miku stood up, "What did you say to Len? He ran out of here not long after you did. He had a weird look in his eyes"

I glanced back at her, "Nothing that wasn't the truth"

I pushed open the door to Rin's room.

The vitality machine made constant bleeps to let me know she was still holding on. I slowly walked towards the bed, almost hesitant. I looked down at her hands, they were so small compared to mine. So fragile. Looking at her now, I felt a sense of hopelessness. She wasn't the Rin Kagamine I was used to seeing. Lying here in this small hospital room, hooked up to all these wires she looks so delicate and helpless. Like a little bird that's been wounded. At the end of the day, she was just a girl, even if she would laugh at the world and put on a brave face, at the end of the day she was as fragile as a feather in the wind. Why did I never realize that she too had a limit? Why didn't anyone?

Oh Rin, what had I done?

Maybe if I hadn't been such a cowardly bastard, if I hadn't said those words to her, if I could've showed her my feelings and not cared what anyone thought. Maybe she wouldn't be here then in this hospital bed. Len was right all along, I had been the one to cause this. At least I had played my role. Instead of telling her I loved her, instead of showing her that she was the most beautiful soul to ever grace this earth, all I ever was capable of was running my mouth off to save my own ass.

I'm sorry Rin. I'm sorry.

Len felt as though his heart would burst, but still he kept on running. He ran and ran until finally he could see his house up ahead. It couldn't be true, could it?

He reached into his pocket for the keys and with shaky hands fumbled around with it frustrated that the key wouldn't turn fast enough.
No, it couldn't be true. It was ridiculous! And yet, Len had to know for sure.

"Didn't you see the way she looked at you?"

Why didn't he realize it then? The more he thought about it, the clearer it became. All the times that he had caught Rin staring at him, all the times it almost seemed as though she were looking at him with longing. But he had always shaken it off because the concept of it alone was just ridiculous right? It was impossible! Rin couldn't be in love with him could she?

He flew up the stairs and slammed open the door to Rin's room. What was he looking for anyway? He wasn't quite sure himself. He was just searching for an answer, any answer. He tore the books off the bookshelves, opened drawers, rummaged through clothes. By the time he was finished, he stood in the middle of the chaos he had created, panting heavily.

He laughed at himself. Of course he couldn't find anything, because it wasn't true. Why would Rin love him anyway? First of all she was his sister for gods sakes! Second, someone like her would never love someone like him. Why did he feel suddenly let down at the thought?

Len sighed as he laid down on Rin's bed.

It was peaceful in her room, despite the mess. It was almost like a sanctuary away from everything. In here, all his problems could be put on pause for a moment. He had gotten so used to the sterile white walls, the buzz of monitors and the constant shuffling around of busy doctors and nurses that he had forgotten how comfortable it felt like to be at home. In fact, it had been the first time in ages that he had been home, aside from the quick drop ins for a shower or a quick change of clothes. The rest of the time he had spent at the hospital, it had practically become his new home. It was simply nice. He could detect a faint smell of Rin's orange shampoo on her pillow.

"When did I start to lose you Rin?", he wondered aloud.

He felt the hot tears sliding down his face. He missed her so much it felt like there was a hole where his heart should be. He shut his eyes and breathed in her scent. And before he knew it, he had drifted off to sleep.

"Len, Len wake up"

Len opened his eyes slowly.

"Lenny", someone shook him.

He yawned and groggily rubbed his eyes. He looked around, he was still in Rin's room. What time was it?

"Len!"

He finally looked up to see who was calling him.

"Rin?", Len couldn't believe his eyes, he shot up out of bed.

"RIN!", he yelled grabbing her, "How are you here right now?"

"What do you mean silly?", Rin smiled at him, her bright blue eyes shining.

"You…..you tried to kill…you were in the hospital!", Len stuttered.

"Uh…no I wasn't", Rin lifted an eyebrow, "Did you bump your head or something?"

"What are you doing in my room anyway?", she asked a hand on her hip.

"I was trying to look for…nothing, never mind" Len shook his head.

"Len, wait", Rin tugged his sleeve, "Tell me. What were you looking for?"

She looked up at him with those clear blue eyes that would pierce through his soul. He wanted to lie to her, he probably should but somehow he found that he couldn't ever lie to her. Not when she looked at him like that.

Len sighed, "I…I was looking for proof that you loved me."

Rin started to giggle, "Why would you ever need to look for that?

Len felt his entire face grow warm as a deep blush rose to his cheeks. He could hear his heart beating louder and louder.

"I-I don't know", he muttered.

"Silly", she muttered pulling him into a deep hug, "Isn't it obvious? I love you"

"What?", Len jumped as he pushed Rin away, his entire face beet-red by now, "Rin, we're siblings!"

"But Len," She whined, looking down at her feet shyly, "You know you love me too"

"What are you saying Rin? This is wrong!", Len stammered, "I don't love you! Not like that.."

"Really?", Rin pouted, "Then why is that you always get jealous when other boys look at me? Or angry when someone talks badly about me?"

"That's just natural! I'm your brother, it's natural that I'm a bit overprotective of you", Len defended himself.

"The reason you avoid me at school isn't because you care about your reputation Len,", Rin continued, leaning closer to him.

"It's because deep down you know you love me, and you're afraid of these feelings"

"No! That's not true", Len cried out.
"You think if you push me away, those feelings would just disappear. But you're wrong Len, this isn't some crush. Your feelings for me are deep rooted. You can't deny it forever, or else you'll never be happy"

"Stop it Rin!", Len shouted stepping backwards "You know that's not true! It's sick. A brother and sister can't have those sort of feelings"

"If you have no feelings for me," Rin began to advance, "How is it that your heart is racing right now?"

Len stepped backwards accidentally tripping on a fallen book. He grunted as he fell to the floor.

"How is it…", Rin whispered as she crawled on top of Len, her lips just an inch away from his.

Len gulped, his heart was pounding so fast that he thought it would stop. His hands felt cold and sweaty and he felt a nervous flutter in his stomach. He closed his eyes anticipating her soft lips upon his.

The kiss never came. Len opened his eyes. He was still lying on Rin's bed. All of it was a dream.

"I love you Rin", he sobbed, "I loved you all this time"