Hello everyone I hope everyone's day is going well and I really hope you enjoy this next chapter. I was struggling with this for a while and you will see why. As always thank you to those who have followed this story and took the time to comment it lets me know that I'm doing something right and lets me know that people like the story. Enjoy

Chapter 7 "the seeds of doubt"

The smell of burning flesh filled my nostrils as I awoke, I was surrounded by debris in hot white sand and the temperature had to be at least one hundred and thirty.

"I can't be back here" I mumbled as I slowly got up, screams and gunfire could be heard all around me as I picked up my gun and looked around. I was back in uniform that much I could be sure, I had a metallic taste in my mouth and I quickly put my hand up to wipe away the blood, the smell of gasoline and burned flesh was overpowering me as I scanned around the battlefield for friendlies I only saw death, bodies everywhere of my fellow soldiers as I made my way around the wreckage.

Somehow through all the gun fire and screaming I heard "James over here" . I looked around and spotted an arm sticking up over an upturned Humvee, I rapidly made my way over only to be quickly blown back from another explosion, I could hear nothing due to the ringing in my ears as I pressed on and made my way over to where the arm had been sticking out.

My hopes dashed as I saw a body sprawled out before me. Pulling out my med kit I ran to the body "You're going to be alright buddy" I said as I rolled the body over revealing Carl's face; shock overcame me as I threw the body back over.

"NO NO NO" I said putting my hands around my head begging for this nightmare to be over.

"you failed us" I heard Ricks voice say, I looked and saw Rick coming towards me with the group all dressed in fatigues,

"you failed us" the group said in a monotone voice. "I…I didn't…I didn't mean too." I replied shakily

"Why'd ya wait so long" I heard a voice say behind me, slowly I turned around and saw the governor sitting upon the destroyed Humvee "wouldn't it of been easier to have let my men do the job" the Governor said pointing at Carl's dead body. Before I could respond "you failed again" a voice called from the crowd, I turned back around "please don't be you" I whimpered as I saw Greg slowly step through the group. "You failed me and Carl, just like everyone knew you would" Greg continued in a monotone voice and then the group descended upon me.

Third person

The sounds of people sleeping could be heard as Rick sat by the fire enjoying both the warmth and quiet as he thought over the last few months. It had been hard no one could say that it hadn't been, Judith had come into the world during a time that hopefully humans will only know of in history books many years from now, his wife Lori had unfortunately left the world long before she was supposed to. She and Rick were supposed to have gone through everything thing together.

But she was gone and now he had to raise their daughter and son without her. He had almost failed having almost lost Carl basically one of the only things that really mattered anymore to the sick bastard "The governor"; everything thing that Carl had been put through because of that caused an anger that burned inside Rick that would never be put out. It had been a miracle that James had come along when he did, Rick definitely had grown fond of the young man and considered him a second son in some regard even though he was different.

The man had kept to himself at the prison choosing a cell block alone far away from the others, hell no one really saw or spoke to him at all the first week and a half except maybe once as he came in from running and then he was back in his cell block. But the weeks rolled on and slowly he came around and started to feel out the place, Carl grew attached and Rick was thankful that someone had taken him under his wing; Rick needed all the help he could get.

Rick's thoughts moved onto the day before and how Carol had wanted to get rid of James almost immediately because of one problem that had happened, Rick admitted that it had been stupid on James's part to do what he did but regardless he was still family and he wasn't going anywhere as far as Rick was concerned. Sounds of a struggle could be heard and Rick jumped to his feet quick to take down whoever it was, it was James. He was tossing and turning on the ground the only thing that he said was "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened" Rick quickly went over to the young man and shook him awake.

When James awoke there was nothing but pure sadness and dread when he looked into Rick's eyes. "Bad dream?" James said nothing and was clearly not one hundred percent certain where he was at. He sat up and looked around and then put his head into his hands and sobbed, "Rick I'm so sorry" "for what" Rick asked puzzled, the man looked confused as he said "I don't know, I just don't know" Rick simply told the young man to go back to sleep and they would talk more in the morning, James simply nodded and went to sleep.

Rick went back over to the camp fire and thought about what just happened, simple night terror nothing to worry about Carl used to have them all the time. Or maybe they were something more.

James Point of View

The sun was rising as I awoke around six o'clock in the morning with my back hurting and my body covered in sweat, it had been a rough night and as I looked

around the camp the nightmare came crashing down and I remembered everything. The seeds of doubt had been planted and it would be awhile to get myself back to normal, "I'm tired" I said to no one as I stood up. I walked over to the remains of a camp fire and sat down next to Abraham I must have looked like shit because Abraham asked me what was wrong, I shook my head I replied "nothing" as I took a sip from my canteen.

Three hours later

I barely registered what was happening as we walked down the road, I looked all around us as our journey continued and slowly I felt myself slipping. Movement in the trees, movement in the bushes, movement everywhere, "you failed us" I shuddered and kept moving. What was going on with me, I just couldn't shake the doubt that was now plaguing my mind I felt as though I was going to snap at any moment. I felt a hand touch my shoulder I looked over at Carl.

"You alright, I've been talking to you for like ten minutes" I nodded and kept walking "I'm going to fail".

"What?" Carl asked, I didn't realize that I had spoken aloud as I looked over at Carl I could tell he was worried.

"Don't worry Carl, I just…I'll be fine" I replied with a fake smile "you don't look fine" Carl said "Just leave me alone Carl, I said i was fine" I said harshly, his look of disappointment said it all and before I could say anything Carl was with his dad in the front of the group and I was in the back alone. I simply sighed and kept walking.

One hour later

We stood outside of an old manor that was well enough hidden that it could still have supplies, "Alright so the plan is James and Carol go into the front, Daryl and I will go through the back and Abraham and Glenn will check the green house while everyone else does watch" Rick said to the small circle of people. We all nodded I went over to Carl who still looked saddened by our last talk.

"Carl look" before I could continue he rolled his eyes and went off with Michonne she simply mouthed "everything ok" I shook my head and mouthed "talk to him" she nodded and I went up to the front door with Carol.

Why I was with her I will never know "Let's just get this over with" she said, "agreed" and then we went through the house.

Everything was going smooth until we reached the kitchen, I don't know why I didn't notice that the floor was weak but before I knew it I was falling. I landed with a thud and looked around the space; there were walkers that much I knew from the smell I looked up and saw Carol looking down the man sixed hole

"can you get out?" I looked down and saw a pretty good cut on my leg and about fifteen walkers closing in "No I got a pretty good cut on my leg and over a dozen walkers" silence, "Shit" I pulled out my gun and looked up to see that Carol had left and I was on my own. I started firing and crawling to where the exit was

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU CAROL" I continued to crawl till I got to the exit, there was maybe six walkers left but instead of wasting even more ammo and hurting my ears I crawled up the steps.

Rick's Point of View

We had Left the manor in such a hurry that I didn't register that James wasn't with us for a good while, "where is he Carol?" She turned to me and without missing a beat "he fell through the floor in the kitchen and into the basement, the amount of walkers that were down there...trust me he's dead"

I didn't know what to think Carol had done some messed up thangs before such as killing people at the prison to prevent an outbreak but leaving James behind as walker bait.

"swear to me that what you say is true, that he's dead"

She nodded and replied "I swear there's no going back, there is no way he could have survived it." The group stopped they had all heard what Carol had said and seemed dumbfounded by the news that's when I looked over to Carl who like everyone else had heard the whole thing.

"we have to go back" he said matter of factly , I shook my head "No Carl we can't"

"No we have to..he..I...he saved my life" I looked at my son who had grown far beyond his years and saw the loss in his eyes I crouched down in front of him putting a hand on his shoulder "we have to move on Carl, and I know that's not what you want to hear right now"

Carl looked down at the ground as he said "he tried to tell me something before and I wouldn't let him...I" I took Carl in my arms as he started crying and simply told him "I'm sorry Carl"

James's Point of View

It took me a good twenty minutes to crawl out of the basement and the whole time I was wondering, where the fuck is everyone. When I opened the door and went outside I knew why, a herd had rolled through I couldn't tell how many there were but the group had scattered. She did it I'll give her that, she must of told Rick that I was dead at least I half hope she did because otherwise they left me on purpose, she got rid of me like she had wanted. I looked around at the dead around me, "And this is what I deserve"

I really hope you guys liked the story and I know it's shorter than the others but the next few chapters are going to be longer. This past week I struggled with whether or not to leave James behind and as you see this is what happened. Truth be told I was listening to the Heavy Rain/Last of Us soundtracks and that put me in a depressing mood and this chapter happened. Don't worry James will get back with the group, this is just something that I felt would happen due to the fact Carol took drastic measures to keep the group safe in the show so why not leave James behind. Please let me know what you thought. And also chapters are going to be coming out weekly now.