iMake Sam Nervous

Melanie Puckett yawned and she descended the stairs the next morning, bright and cheerful.

"Good morning, ladies… How'd you sleep?"

Sam was sarcastic and biting, as always.

"Together, what about you? Missing the Nub yet?"

Melanie heard a utensil clatter in the kitchen sink, where Carly was busy being Susie Homemaker. Melanie found this adorable. Carly lectured her from the kitchen.

"Samantha!"

"Sorry, Cupcake."

Carly's harsh tone now extended to the other Puckett twin. It caught Mel completely off-guard.

"Melanie Puckett!"

She was slightly scared. The proper blonde recoiled. She was again a shrinking violet.

"What'd I do?" she asked, slightly afraid of the lovely brunette.

Next thing she knew, Carly Shay was running toward her from the kitchen and had thrown her into a hug the likes of which were typically reserved for her sister.

"Oh my God, Mel… Thank you! You totally shouldn't have… Oh my God! Floor seats? Why?"

Melanie, desperate for an appropriate answer, answered a question with a question.

"Happy Birthday?"

She couldn't breathe. Carly Shay was strangling her – crushing her lungs. She was an intense hugger.

"Mel… That was totally unnecessary… and you should've bought tickets for yourself… Was this all really about me and Sam?"

Carly finally let her breathe. Melanie answered, out of breath.

"Can't I just love my sister and her honey?"

She shot Carly a smile.

Sam, obnoxious as ever, shot back her response from the sofa. She had the remote in one hand, a root beer in the other. It was eight A.M.

"Can you ever not answer a question with a question? I swear to God, I thought you were the smart one…"

Before she could respond, her phone began to ring, tucked in the pocket of her pretty pink bathrobe. The unmistakable ringtone immediately gave away the identity of the caller.

"…In five….four…three…two…"

Sam immediately thought she might vomit. Her sister flushed bright pink and answered the phone. All sugary sweet. All girly.

"Hey there, Handsome… I've missed you…"

Melanie, unbeknownst to her, had said 'handsome' just the way Carly had, referring to Sam.

"Oh puke. I'm gonna kill them for subjecting me to this ooey-gooey hetero lovefest… Where's my bacon?" Sam's thoughts were running through her head at a mile a minute.

Sam tried to come up with any mental image she could that would distract her.

"Carls… Idiot Farmgirl… Bolivian bacon... Carls… Sleepy Bed-headed Carls…"

That did it.

Melanie shrieked. She was loud enough to blow out an eardrum.

"Oh my God, really? Really? YAY! See you soon… Love you too!"

She was such a girly girl. That amused Carly and made Sam nauseous.

Not waiting for Melanie to ruin the moment with details, Sam jumped right in, caustic as ever, not missing a beat.

"How long do we have to clear out, so we don't have to witness the horror of you jumping his nubby little bones?"

Carly was livid. If she was going to behave like a child, Carly would treat Sam like a child. She immediately felt like her late mother.

"Samantha Ann Puckett… apologize to your sister or no Bolivian bacon!"

This was serious. Carls had never withheld her bacon before. Sam, looking a very butch, very hot mess, shot her sister a look from the sofa, not bothering to get up.

"Mel, look, you know that I just… with him… gah… You couldn't do any better? Seriously? Why him? I mean, if you're gonna date boys… at least find one that's…you know… an actual boy…"

There. She felt better. She'd apologized to Melanie, such as it was, and put down The Nub all in the same breath. That should earn her wonderful Bolivian porky goodness.

Carly stared at her. She wasn't happy, but she supposed it would have to do. She shrugged her shoulders. Maybe, just maybe, the Puckett sisters would always be this way, at each other's throats every other day for the simple sport of it. She decided that if Mel wasn't crying, it was okay, and breakfast was as good an option as anything. She'd made bacon, eggs, and toast for three, but decided that, under the circumstances, it'd be okay if Melanie skipped breakfast.

"Mel, when is Freddie supposed to be here? You can skip breakfast and go get ready, if you want…"

Sam had a look of shock on her face. As she opened her mouth to protest what she perceived was unfair treatment at the hands of her Cupcake, Carly interrupted her. Her Cupcake was developing a particularly loud and abrasive personality.

"Sam, if she's not ready once Freddie gets here, that means he'll need to wait for her… and the longer he waits, that just means the longer until what?"

Damn Carly Shay and her reverse psychology.

Sam instantly reverted to being the Sam no one but Carly ever saw – the sweet, obedient little girl only present when the bedroom door was closed.

"…longer until cuddle time with my Cupcake…"

Melanie blushed. She thought it was adorable. She smiled at Carly and then walked over to the sofa, where Sam was just now getting up. She playfully tousled her sister's flyaway blonde locks.

"Aww… Be good, sis…" She knew just how to push Sam's buttons and she enjoyed it.

Sam playfully snapped at Melanie's hand, like a rabid dog. She had, of course, no intention of biting her. That was reserved exclusively for…other occasions.

Melanie couldn't help but chuckle as she turned, still in her robe and bedroom slippers, mounting the stairs and heading back upstairs to her bedroom.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER…

Carly and Sam heard a noise that certainly did not sound like Freddie's used Toyota. It sounded … different.

Carly could hear footsteps outside. Without thinking, she immediately called upstairs. Pausing a second, she realized the gravity of the situation – She had become a parent.

"Melanie, I think Freddie's here…"

Melanie was way ahead of her. She was leaving her room as the front door swung open. He hadn't even knocked. He just walked right in like he owned the place. This wasn't the Freddie Benson that Carly remembered from just a few months before. He had really grown up. He'd kind of reinvented himself – or rather Mrs. Benson had finally stopped dressing him. It was an improvement.

Ignoring Carly and Sam for the time being, Freddie, clad in sneakers, jeans, and a purple hoodie, called upstairs.

"Honey… I'm home…"

Giggling, Melanie Puckett took the stairs at a bit of a run. Wearing dark skinny jeans and a t-shirt Carly and Sam both swore was at least a size too small, she fell into Freddie's arms at the earliest possible opportunity, squealing with joy.

It was just then that Sam looked down, realizing what Freddie had carried in with him. Carly hadn't noticed it either, but they both recognized Spencer's motorcycle helmet. Carly was the first to speak.

"Wait a second… you mean…?" She was just stunned.

"Spence said I could borrow the bike for the afternoon… Thought Mel and I would go for a little ride. I'll have her home at a 'reasonable hour', Ladies…"

He laid the sarcasm on thick.

Sam spoke up.

"Look here, Dipthong… if you bring the little Princess there back with so much as split ends, I swear to God…"

Carly and Melanie were both stunned, albeit for different reasons. Carly hadn't seen Sam express this kind of concern for her sister in a long time. Melanie was just amazed that Sam had shown restraint.

"Hey Mel?" Sam called to her, as the couple headed for the door.

"Yeah?"

"Be safe, okay?"

Melanie couldn't help herself. She said the first thing that came into her head, and it came out flippant. She sounded exactly like her sister.

"Yes, Mother…"

Pulling the door shut behind her, she descended the front steps with her boyfriend. She was nervous until she actually mounted the bike, sliding directly behind Freddie. There she felt totally safe. Her only thought at that moment was for her sister and the brunette now cuddled at her side on the sofa.

"When the cat's away, the mice will play…" she thought. She had no idea how right she was.