A/N: I'm back! It's all good. Please R&R and above all, enjoy!
Chapter 7: realizations
As Brennan drove to the library, she replayed the scene in Tessa's office over and over again in her head, in slow motion. What on earth had made her act like that? Obviously, Tessa's comments had gotten to her, but her reaction hadn't gotten her anywhere, certainly.
Was she reacting to the fact that Tessa made a valid point? Was she doing this for herself, deep down? She shrugged that thought out of her mind. No, no, she was doing it for Booth and Parker. If the end result was positive for her as well, then that was a bonus.
She then turned to the possible repercussions of her actions. Surely Tessa would be calling the police. Although, she could have done that while Brennan was still in her office, called security like she'd threatened to. Brennan's brow creased with worry.
If she got arrested, how would that help Booth? It wouldn't. It'd only make things worse. On the other hand, she had something on Tessa too. Her behavior had been anything but professional, and Brennan could take action against that. They'd bring each other down.
Brennan knew Tessa wasn't stupid. She'd keep her mouth shut about the whole thing; just like Brennan intended to do. Booth needn't know which lawyer she'd visited. He hadn't asked. He trusted her. She sighed, and her thoughts turned again to Tessa's statements. Was there a hint of truth in them?
She felt the impending feeling of doubt and struggled against it. She had known him for years before they were together. She had no reason to feel doubt. She stayed in her car for awhile longer after she'd parked at the library, pulling herself together. Once all Tessa-encounter related thoughts were banished from her mind, she got out of the car, and headed inside.
When she came out again, a stack of thick heavy books in her arms, it was early evening. She lugged the books over to the car, shoved them into the passenger seat, and slid behind the wheel. When she arrived home, she juggled the books, Booth's bag, and her own purse, managing to open her door without too much trouble.
She found him on the couch, asleep, one of her novels on the coffee table next to him. She found herself smiling, and she gently placed their bags on the coffee table and the books on the kitchen counter, then busied herself in the kitchen making dinner.
As she was standing in front of the stove, she felt his arms snake around her and a gentle kiss on her ear. She let a satisfied sigh escape her lips, and turned her head to kiss him. When they broke apart, he asked her quietly, "How did it go today?"
She hesitated, wondering what to tell him. She didn't want to lie, but the truth might make things more complicated. In the end, she settled for the truth but not the whole truth.
"I didn't get anything helpful, so I stopped by the library and got some books. We're going to research this ourselves; come up with a plan."
"Thank you." The two little words carried a lot of meaning, and Brennan shut the fire off the stove, and stepped over to the sink with the pan of water and pasta. She drained it, and after all was finished, they sat down to eat.
"How are you feeling?" she asked as they were clearing the table.
"Better." She peered carefully at him, checking his eyes for the truth in his response.
"Honestly, Bones, I'm feeling a lot better. Just knowing that we're going to do something helps. I feel more like myself than I have since…since it happened." He moved over to her and wrapped her in a hug.
"I'm sorry Bones," he said after a moment.
"For what?" she asked, surprised at his statement.
"For being worthless these last couple days. I shouldn't have let it get to me like it did. I let you do everything, and I should have been helping out."
"Don't be sorry. You had a perfectly good reason to act the way you did. It was a natural response. And I'm glad to do everything I'm doing. I want to help." She leaned her head against him and closed her eyes, just savoring their contact.
"You're my best friend Bones," she heard him whisper, and it made her smile. She pulled away from him slightly, then, the question that had been lurking in her mind all afternoon finally pushing its way out of her mouth.
"Booth, about last night…" she stopped.
"What about it?"
"Was it just a one-time thing?"
"Do you want it to be?" He couldn't hide the disappointment from his face, and it tore at her heart. She was quick to reassure him.
"No, I don't want it to be, but I want to know what you want. I mean, I know you were hurting last night, and now that you feel better…" she trailed off again.
"Bones, trust me when I say that I don't want any experience with you to be a one-time thing. Ever. Yes, our first time came about as a result of what happened to me, but now we can have other times for other reasons. I want this to go on for as long as you'll have me. Ok?"
She had put her head down as he said this, the sheer emotion of his words affecting her. He put his fingers under her chin and tilted it up. She continued to avert her eyes.
"Bones, look at me. I need to know you know." Finally, she looked up at him, understanding and the beginnings of tears glistening in her eyes.
"All right. Now, let's get crackin' on these, huh?" He grabbed some of the books and moved them over to the coffee table, sitting down on the couch, Brennan joining him. As she picked up the top book of the stack, she felt him looking at her hand, the bruises already starting to show.
"What happened to your hand?" He looked worried.
"It's nothing. I hit it against something hard. I don't even remember." She shrugged it off as unimportant.
"If you say so." They turned to the books and became engrossed in their research. It was late when Brennan thought to glance at the clock. She tugged at his sleeve.
"Booth, it's late. Let's go to bed." It felt so odd, saying 'let's'. Odd, but also good.
He ran a hand tiredly over his face. "Did you find anything that could be useful?"
She shook her head. "No, did you?"
"Not yet. Hell, I couldn't understand most of it. But, I suppose these things take time." He stood up and stretched, taking her hand in his and pulling her up alongside him. Together they made their way down the hall, him pulling her along.
She removed her hand from his, and wrapped her arms around his waist, and pressed herself up against him, still walking. This slowed them down considerably, and he turned his head as far as he could, and gave her a questioning look.
"We're never going to get there at this rate."
He was smiling though, and so was she. She was feeling quite playful, and she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was his earlier reassurance or the fact that she felt really tired. Either way, it was a different feeling, and not a bad one at all.
"Why are you in such a hurry?" she asked, biting her lower lip as she grinned at him.
"You'll see," he said with raised eyebrows. She let a giggle escape her at his expression, and replied, "If you thought this was slowing us down, how about this?"And with that, she moved her arms up around his neck and jumped up, locking her legs around his waist.
"Whoa, Bones!" He was startled, clearly, but then he started laughing. She rested her head against him said, "Well, let's go! I haven't got all night!" He shook his head and they continued on their way to her bedroom.
Over the course of the next couple of days, they spent their evenings doing research on her couch. On the fourth day of this, he went back to his apartment to gather some more things. He didn't want to stay at his own place while they were still solving this, and she didn't want him to either. She went with him just in case, but he was ok. He even listened to the message from Rebecca and Parker.
"Booth? Are you all right?" she asked, a hand on his shoulder as he trembled at his son's voice on the machine. He sniffed and ran his arm over his eyes before turning to her.
"Yea, Bones, I'm ok. We're gonna get him back." She nodded, and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. He packed another bag, and they went back to her apartment.
The next couple of weeks were busy ones. They had two cases back to back, and as a result, didn't have as much time as Brennan would have liked to research. The going was slow. There were several things in the books, jargon and technical language, that even she didn't quite understand.
Early one morning, she found herself awake, thinking to herself about an issue that had been gnawing at her for the last couple weeks. Something she'd been forgetting since the night Booth had shown up at her door. It wasn't like her to forget, and she couldn't believe she'd been so stupid.
She could tell herself it was because of the sudden change in routine, the torrent of emotions and the disruption of her usual schedule, but they would just be excuses. It was her responsibility ultimately; she'd always thought so, and she'd messed it up.
She bit her lip to keep from waking up the man fast asleep beside her, and made her way into her living room, where she'd left her cell phone. She looked at the clock on her stereo. 4:30 am. It
was early, but Angela would understand. She couldn't deny the possibility any longer. It would be pointless to try. With shaky fingers, she dialed her friend's number.
Angela yawned into the phone as she picked up. "Hello?"
"Ange, it's me."
Angela was instantly awake, the time of the call and Brennan's tone alerting her that something was wrong.
"What is it sweetie? Is everything ok?"
Brennan took a deep breath, and said quietly, so Booth wouldn't overhear in case he'd woken up.
"Ange, I'm late."
A/N: Ok, so yea, this is an angsty fic, or that's what I'm aiming for, and it's gonna get a bit heavier from here on out, so consider this a fair warning! Please drop me a line! Thanks!!