READ THIS! This chapter is not, in any way, connected with future events in the story. It's what you call a bonus chapter. I thought I'd take a break from the tension in the plot right now and let you enjoy some full-out humor. Enjoy... :)

Ultra-Super Bonus Chapter (of Awesomeness): Dry Cleaner's

Clari sighed at the heap of dirty, smelly, yucky pile of black robes that were piled by the laundry room door. She would have to drag these nine dirty, smelly, yucky robes to the dry cleaner's, since her washing machine and dryer were no match for the load. If she were to wash the robes here, it'd take hours. Only two of them fit at a time, and they still had a rancid stench afterwards.

So you see, Clari had good reason to sigh.

Jaye walked in the laundry room, plugging her nose. "Are you taking those to the cleaner's or what? I gag every time I walk by here."

"Do you want to take these to the cleaners?" Clari asked.

"No, that's your job."

"Who says?"

"I do."

"Come on!" Clari pleaded. "You don't even have work today!"

"Exactly. I shouldn't have to do anything on my day off," Jaye said.

"Ugh! It's not like you do anything at work anyway!"

Jaye gasped, feigning hurt. "Clari! I can't believe you would say such a thing! I am so offended."

"Tough shit."

"Just take the fucking robes to the cleaner's," Jaye insisted. "If you don't, Pein's gonna be pissed anyway."

"Fine," Clari agreed reluctantly. Jaye wandered back into the living room for some TV, while Clari grabbed garbage bags and stuffed the robes into them. It took two and a half (yes, a half) garbage bags, but she finally made all of them fit. By the time she was tying the last one closed, some of the curious Akatsuki members were sticking their noses in the laundry room to investigate.

"What're you doing, Clari-chan?" Tobi asked.

"I'm getting ready to take your friggin' robes to the dry cleaner's," she explained grumpily, breathing through her mouth. The robes smelled like rotten banana peels covered in sour milk.

"Do you need help?"

"Sure, Tobi. Would you mind taking these to the car?"

"Tobi is a good boy!" the enthusiastic masked man said, before grabbing all three garbage bags (a feat in which Clari was incapable) and happily carrying them to the truck. Clari grabbed her keys and followed him.

"I'm going to the dry cleaner's! Be back in a few!" she called, partially to Jaye and partially to Pein.

"Okay!" her cousin yelled back.

Pein, of course, did not reply.

Tobi skipped back inside. "All set, Clari-chan! I even started the car for you!"

"Umm...how did you do that, Tobi?" she inquired, looking at the keys in her hand.

"Jaye-chan taught us how to jump-start a car."

Clari glowered, deciding to save that conversation with her cousin until after she got back. The Akatsuki's criminal abilities didn't need to be improved. "Thanks, Tobi, but don't ever do that again. Okay?"

"Umm...yes?"

"Good. I'll see you later then."

"Bye-bye!"

oOoOoOoOo

The dry cleaners was almost empty, except for an elderly woman who left with a floral dress soon after Clari arrived. She dragged two of the garbage bags inside, leaving the third in the car since it was impossible for her to haul so much weight. How the Akatsuki's wore these things all the time, Clari had no idea. Why Pein would make them wear these all the time was an even bigger mystery. Couldn't he have chosen a uniform that wasn't quite so...bulky?

"Hello, my name is Rebecca. How may I help you?" a middle-aged woman said from behind the sleek glass counter. As an answer, Clari set the bags in front of her.

"I have a third one in the car," she added.

"Holy cow," Rebecca exclaimed, feeling the weight of the bag. "I'm guessing you've got a wedding soon and all the bridal gowns need dry cleaning?"

"Ummm...not exactly..."

Rebecca opened the bag and pulled out an Akatsuki robe. "Well, that was unexpected."

Just then a teenage girl with vivid red hair came around the corner. Clari almost swore. That was none other than Alexis Halloway, a huge Naruto fangirl who went to the high school. Or more like an Itachi fangirl. When she saw what Rebecca was lifting in the air, she squealed at an obnoxious volume.

"Omigosh! Is that an Akatsuki robe? Who brought it in? What - ?" It was then that Alexis noticed Clari. "CLARI! How did you get your hands on these?" She dove into the bag and pulled out another one, wrinkling her nose. "Ugh, they're filthy. What did you do to them?"

"Lexi!" Rebecca chastised, using Alexis's nick name.

"No, it's okay. We're..." Clari trailed off, not entirely sure what her and Lexi were. They knew each other, but she found Lexi to be incredibly irritating. There were times when she wanted to whack that fiery head of hair with a frying pan. This was one of those times.

"...Best buddies!" Lexi finished, reaching across the counter to give Clari an awkward hug. "Omigosh you have to let me borrow these sometime!"

No, I don't, Clari thought. She replied with: "Oh, well, they're not mine..."

"Whose are they? You have to give me their number, or address, or - "

"Alexis, that's enough," Rebecca put in. "Go take these behind back, okay?"

Lexi obeyed, nearly tripping over her own feet under the weight of the robes. Clari grabbed the last bag from the truck and handed it to Rebecca.

"Come back in one hour, and we'll have them ready for you," Rebecca instructed.

"Wow, that's fast," Clari said, impressed.

"Yeah, we'll make yours a rush order. Wouldn't want to tempt Lexi into doing something she'll regret," Rebecca explained.

Clari laughed as if it was a big joke, but she had a feeling that Rebecca wasn't kidding.

oOoOoOoOo

One hour later, Clari drove up to the doors of the dry cleaner's. She walked in and Rebecca handed her one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight Akatsuki robes. Rebecca wished her a good day, clearly signifying that she should leave.

"Ummm...Rebecca?"

"Is something wrong?"

"I brought nine robes in. You handed me eight."

Understanding dawned on Rebecca's face. "ALEXIS!"

The redhead poked her head out from behind. "Yes?"

"Did you take a robe?"

Lexi was silent. Finally, she sighed and retreated back into the back. Clari and Rebecca patiently waited for her to bring the robe back.

Instead, they heard a car engine start.

"Shit!" Rebecca swore. They both bolted outside in time to see the disappearing tail lights of Lexi's car. "Sorry...you won't have to pay for this."

"That's the least of my problems," Clari said. "These aren't mine."

"If Lexi comes in tomorrow I'll try and get it, but..."

Clari gaped at her. "You mean you can't do anything?"

"What do you want me to do?" Rebecca countered, just as flustered.

"Well, I don't know, get my robe back?"

"Look, I'll do my best, but I can't give any guarantees. Lexi's unpredictable."

Pein is unpredictable too, Clari thought. Maybe he'll let me off the hook.

Pein most certainly did not let her off the hook. In fact, he was furious that she'd lost a robe. Not only a robe, but his robe. And it was obvious that he would continue to be furious with her until she somehow got his robe back. Clari visited the dry cleaner's the next morning to see if Lexi had come in, but Rebecca said she was a no-show. Eventually, Clari decided to drive by Lexi's house and get the robe back that way. She rang the doorbell repeatedly until a very annoyed Lexi came to the door.

"That's rude, you know," she grumbled.

"Not as rude as stealing!" Clari accused. "Give me back my robe!"

"You have eight more!"

"That doesn't matter! They aren't mine!"

"Then why are you taking them to get dry cleaned?" Lexi inquired nosily.

"Because...because I borrowed them from someone and I was returning them!" Clari lied.

"Ugh, Clari, you've always been a terrible liar."

"I'm not lying!"

"You are too," Lexi said. "Until you tell me the truth, I'm not giving it back."

"Then I'll call the police!"

"Over a robe? That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not. Give it back or - "

"Or what?" Lexi challenged. "You'll yell at me? Get me fired? Hmm?"

Clari scowled. She wished she had Jaye's talent for initiating creative threats in a on the spot, but she was at a loss of what to do.

"That's what I thought. Now, when you have a real reason for me to give you back the robe, I'll give it to you. Until then, you'll just have to settle for the eight that you already have," Lexi said, shutting the door in Clari's face.

Fine, Clari thought. You think you can out-bitch me? Think again.

oOoOoOoOo

Later that night, when Lexi was curled up next to her new Akatsuki robe, she smelled smoke. Suddenly alert, she went down the hall to investigate. Her whole living room was flooded with curling pillars of white smoke and a dancing inferno engulfed everything. Strangely, it wasn't setting off the fire alarms.

As she began to frantically attempt to put out the fire, Lexi began to feel lightheaded. Slowly, she sank to her knees and fell unconscious to the floor. When she woke up the next morning, her whole entire house had been robbed. Horrified, she ran outside and discovered that every single possession she owned was laying in her front yard. Everything, except the Akatsuki robe.