"Come on, the coast is clear." Ivan whispered, waving me over with his hand as he looked out the door.
"I don't get why we have to be secretive. Just pretend you're taking me somewhere or some shit." I stated, rather irritated.
"I wish it were that easy." he sneered. "but unfortunately, we're both in the same clothes as the night before and you're covered in love bites. It would stir up unneeded suspicion and cause my little sister to go awry. I do not want you to be the receiver of her rage. For a small girl, she is very malicious. Now come, любить."
Narrowing my eyes, I placed my hand over one of the many hickeys on my neck and followed behind him. "Hm, I wonder who's fault that'd be." I spat sarcastically. Ivan turned to face me, a seductive smirk playing at his lips.
"Oh, but you didn't seem to have any objections~" he mused, taking a step towards me before leaning forward and nipping my bottom lip. Tracing his index finger down my jaw, he closed the distance between us, his mouth molding to mine perfectly. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. Moments later, Ivan pulled away, a look of sadness barely evident on his face.
"As much as I'd love to kiss you senselessly and take you right here, we cannot. We need to get you back to your room before anyone notices your absence, which I assure you will be soon." Kissing my cheek, he grabbed my hand and silently led me down the empty corridor. The sound of our shoes reverberated off the walls, seeming much louder than they should.
In the distance, we could hear footsteps and the sound of voices. It appeared to be getting closer to us. Hastily, Ivan yanked me down a different hall, scanning the area for security cameras, and hid behind the corner.
"What do you think the boss is planning to do with this guy? Surely there was a reason behind inviting him to dinner, but I just can't figure it out." One of the voices said – it was definitely male, with some form of Baltic accent.
"Like, I don't know, but it's totally confusing. This guy has like, been in the cell for weeks. If Boss was planning on killing him, he like, totally would have or something. Do you think he knows like, vital information about the Vargas' and Boss just like, wants the deets?" The other said – it sounded like a guy, but what the fuck was with that speech pattern? It was probably a girl on pot or something.
I felt the grip on my hand tighten as the two walked away. Looking over, Ivan was glaring down at the ground, gritting his teeth.
"Они хотят отнять у меня счастье. Мое ощущение безопасности и тепла. Мой подсолнечника..." he whispered to the ground, his facial expression hard.
"Ivan." I muttered, tugging on his hand. His head snapped up as he stared at me. "We can't just stand here, we have to go." He frowned slightly and nodded.
"Da..." he whispered. He hesitantly pulled me into a tight hug. "Пожалуйста, не оставляйте меня. Я тебя люблю." furrowing my eyebrows, I shoved him off.
"Ja, ja, whatever. Let's just go." I grumbled and pulled on his hand, motioning him forward. Snapping back to reality, Ivan took over and began leading us back down the hallway towards Hell.
:::O:::
Opening the large iron door, Ivan escorted me back into the musty room. The smell of sweet and blood hit me like a brick wall, tears prickling at my eyes from the stench. Stepping further in the room, I crinkled my nose and looked around. Oh look, my blood is still caked on that damn chair. And who could forget the huge puddle of dried blood in the corner over there? How comforting. I sneered.
"Gilbert?" Ivan's voice sounded from behind me. It seemed quieter – less stern and business man-like.
"What?" I asked, my gaze set upon the rusty chair nailed to the floor in the middle of the room, the table with torture devices seated in front of it. The memory of sitting in the stupid thing was almost unbearable.
"I want to know more about you."
"What?" I repeated, turning around to glare at him, a look of disbelief on my face. "After all this time, you finally want to get to know me? It's a little too late for that. Why would I want to tell you anything? You're probably just going to use it against me. That's why you asked me to dinner! You wanted to close to me so that you could hurt me in more ways than one! You sick, twisted fuck-!" I spat and lunged towards him.
"You've misunderstood." He said in his stupid wannabe suave voice with that stupid fucking Russian accent that is completely unsexy just like him.
"Misunderstood, my ass! Du dummes Stück Scheiße!" I yelled, my fist shooting up and connecting my his jaw. Looking down at me, Ivan narrowed his eyes and pushed me down on the ground, pinning my hands above my head with his own as he straddled my waist.
"Gilbert, любить, you've misunderstood. I did not want to use force, but you've left me with no choice." growling, I struggled against his grip, only to have him slap me with his free hand. "Don't listen to what the others say. I've already told you that my intentions are true. Da, at first I was going to kill you, but that was before. All I want is to hold you close. I don't want to hurt you, Gilbert." He whispered the last part, his face filled with sorrow. "I just want a chance to get to know the real you. I want to put this whole thing aside and know you for you." My glare not faltering, I bore holes into his stupid face as I contemplated whether to believe him or not. His grip on my hands began to loosen as he desperately stared at me, eyes pleading me to believe him.
With a sigh, I turned my head towards the wall, my mind whirling around in my head. My head began to pulsate – it felt like my skull was going to burst. There was something about his body language that comforted me – that begged me to understand and come to terms with him, but my mind was telling me not to.
He had tried to kill me, for fuck's sake!
'He also tried to save you.' my conscience countered matter-of-factly.
Well, he also refuses to let me go.
'He's trying to protect you. If he let's you go, not only will he be killed, but you will, too. He loves you.'
No he doesn't, shut up!
'If he didn't love you, he wouldn't have gone through all that trouble to stop you from dying. He wouldn't have invited you to dinner and he certainly wouldn't have had sex with you. You would be dead already. He put his life on the line for you.'
That's what you think! The walls in his room were insulated and soundproof. Why would he need soundproof walls unless he constantly brought back fucking partners? He wouldn't have torn into my awesome flesh like a savaged animal, and he certainly wouldn't have kept me cooped up in that fucking cell for weeks without even so much as visiting. He's lying to me. He's lying to me like the sick mother fucker he is! Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I knew I was right, so... why did I feel so wrong? How unawesome.
"Fine, say you really do want to get to know me for reasons besides blackmail..." I grumbled. The body on top of me shifted. I turned my head to see him sitting up straighter, a look of bewilderment on his face. Slowly his shock turned into a small, calm smile. "What do you want to know?" I finished with a long breath.
"I want to know everything." he spat out hastily. "Whatever you tell me, I'll tell you, as well." sliding off of me, he stood up and offered me his hand. "... to be fair." Ignoring his hand, I stood up and brushed myself off. Retracting the appendage, he cleared his throat. "Thank you... Gilbert." he whispered.
::: O :::
"My family?"
"Da, you know about my family – of course I shall elaborate further if you'd like – so it would only be fair to have you tell me about your own." he stated simply. To be completely honest, I was still extremely sceptical of his true motive behind this, but I was somehow tricked into complying by the look in his eyes. He looked like a fuckin' kicked puppy! Contemplating for a moment, I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.
"I don't like talking about my family, y'know?"
"Why is that?" Ivan wondered, furrowing his eyebrows slightly.
"Just doesn't bring up good memories." His amethyst eyes seemed to have clouded over for a moment. It was the blatant look of sadness that had taken be aback. It appeared as if he was lost in thought – most likely about his own childhood. "If you really care that much..." I said firmly, knocking him back into reality. "I can tell you. I'm not going to tell you my life story but I'll tell you the extra awesome parts. For starters, I was an adorably awesome only child. My mutti is a wonderful woman and my vater served as a general in the military. That's about it."
::: O :::
He didn't understand. For six years of his life, he was the centre of the family. His parents loved and spoiled him with treats and gifts. Now all of the sudden, his mother was expecting another child – another son. It wasn't fair! Was he not good enough for them? Did they want something that he couldn't give them?
No words could express the betrayal he felt at that moment. His heart beat escalated as his chest constricted. He didn't want a baby brother. What if his brother was better than him? What if they felt like they didn't need him anymore? What would happen to their family. Better yet.. what would happen to him? His brother wasn't even born yet, but the hatred he felt towards him at the moment was unfathomable. He hated his brother. He hated his unborn brother that was ruining his life. He wouldn't stand for it.
::: O :::
Tears streamed down his pale cheeks as his father solemnly placed a hand on his shoulder. The news had hit him like a brick wall. He was left breathless as he stared in shock at nothing in particular.
His mother had died in labour.
His beautiful, kind, loving mother had died giving birth to that monstrosity.
He would never be able to see her gracious smile, nor hear her laugh, or have her tuck him into bed at night after telling him a bed-time story. No more would he have a mother and what did he have to show for it? That putrid, disgusting little brother.
::: O :::
Four years after the death of his mother, his father was called onto the battlefield, where he had met his demise. Gilbert was only ten years of age. He had lost the only two people he had loved and what did he have left? Ludwig. His four-year-old brother that was the cause of his misery. That little devil who had sent his life to Hell and back.
His parents would have wanted him to love Ludwig – of that he was certain. Even so, there was a little bit of resentment towards the child that was evident in his father's eyes.
By that point in his life, his tears had run dry. He felt empty. Alone.
::: O :::
After the death of his father, Gilbert took the role as care-taker into his own hands. Yes, it was true that he hated his brother, but he was a product of his parents, therefore it was his responsibility to look after the small boy. Even at his young age, he was stronger than Gilbert. He grew up without a mother and was too inept to understand that their father was not coming home. He resorted to treating Gilbert as an authority figure. He looked up to him, respected him. To Ludwig, Gilbert was his role model. He wanted to be big and strong, just like his brother.
Despite Gilbert caring for him, he couldn't get himself to love Ludwig. How could he? It was his fault that their mother was gone, and maybe, just maybe, if she were around, their father wouldn't have died. Everything was all Ludwig's fault. Oh how Gilbert wished he wasn't born. He wouldn't have been happier that way.
::: O :::
"Gilbert?" a six-year-old Ludwig sounded from around the door frame, his icy blue eyes filled with sorrow.
"What?" Gilbert responded, uninterested.
"I had a nightmare..." his voice was shaky, and even without looking at the boy, Gilbert could tell her was on the verge of tears. Sighing to himself, he turned to the boy and patted the spot beside him on the couch. Ludwig scampered across the hardwood floor and climbed onto the couch, cuddling up to the albino. Gilbert hated it. He hated him. Halfheartedly, he stoked Ludwig's heart, giving him null security. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.
Oh how he despised this little boy. This little monster.
::: O :::
At the age of seven, Ludwig was hit by a car.
To Gilbert's surprise, he found himself relieved that the boy was let off with a broken arm and fractured collar. He figured it was because Ludwig was the only family he had left and despite his hatred for the blonde, he didn't want to be left alone in this world.
After Ludwig was emitted from the hospital, Gilbert took it upon himself to care for him. He would feed him and read to him. He almost never left his side. He figured it was because he was desperately holding onto the last part of his parents he had left.
During those few months, Gilbert found himself becoming fond of his brother's company. At first he was disgusted with himself for even considering the thought of loving something as evil as Ludwig, but he soon began to get used to it. There were even days where he looked forward to seeing the boy. It sickened him, but the thought of losing Ludwig hurt him more than he could have ever imagined.
From that day forth, he refused to leave the boy's side. He swore that he would never let anything bad happen to him. He swore to love and protect his brother no matter the cost. Even if it meant giving up his own life.
::: O :::
I've failed you, Ludwig. I've broken my promise to always be by your side – to never hurt you. I'm sorry.
Translation:
Russian -
Они хотят отнять у меня счастье. Мое ощущение безопасности и тепла. Мой подсолнечника...- They want to take away my happiness. My sense of security and warmth. My sunflower...
Пожалуйста, не оставляйте меня. Я тебя люблю- Please do not leave me. I love you.
любить – Love
German -
Du dummes Stück Scheiße – You stupid piece of shit
I use Google Translate.