Chapter 7
Scarlet Devil Mansion
Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to ZUN and JJBA belongs to Araki. Credits to Ligoya for inspiration and some scenes.
I got this notification as soon as Reimu finished replying to my questions.
[Achievement Alert!]
[Impress the Hakurei Miko]
[Rewards: 20,000 Points.]
[Impress the Ordinary Magician]
[Rewards: 20,000 Points.]
NICEU.
"Now that that's out of the way, tell me what you know."
...
"..." Silence.
"I said talk, you hear?" I face-faulted and rose up to glare at her.
"I told you, Marisa, as well as that fairy where the culprit was. Are you saying that you forgot?"
"Eehhh..." Reimu looked sideways, embarrassed of being discovered. Yep, she forgot alright.
"Please stop that. Back to the topic of discussion, the culprit is located... there." I pointed my finger towards the SDM, I think.
"So the suspect is located over there?" Reimu asked yet again.
"If you are doing this just for the sake of irritating me, then I have to say you are doing very well." I said in actual irritation.
"Well Reimu, remember, who gets this Incident done first wins-daze." Marisa then sat up on her broom.
"No need to tell me twice, Marisa." Reimu is preparing to fly off as well.
They're grandstanding despite me being here. Fucking main characters. Time to finish this Quest before they blast off to the horizon.
"Wait. Let me give these to you, o' heroes. It will help on your journey." I ran up to them and gave them two Vitality Booster Pills each.
"What are these?"
"Health pills. Made them myself, and I 100% guarantee it works." I half lied.
"Thanks, but you should-"
"Just wait at the Village-ze." And both flew off, leaving me behind.
'System, is that enough to complete this sudden quest?'
[Quest Update!]
[Scarlet Mist Incident]
[Aid the Incident Resolvers personally.]
*Sigh*
Heh. Heheheheheheh... Time stop battle it is then. Fucking stupid Gamer bullshit System. FUCK YOU UNDENIABLE QUESTS!
*Inhale*
*Exhale*
"「The World」..." I whispered.
*THUUUUUUMMM*
*TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK*
"Lali-ho~"
Hm? I noticed a crow hanging on a tree, looking at where I was before. I'll guess either it's the Tengus, or Yukari. Most likely Yukari. Well, shit. She knew the golden Stand's power then. Welp, time to scram away, then.
{21 Time Stop Seconds Later - Scarlet Devil Mansion}
The Scarlet Devil Mansion; home to the Scarlet family of Vampires, which is as far as I know probably the only supernatural beings whom represent Western culture in Gensokyo besides Hecatia Lapislazuli. The mansion has a few windows, probably to allow Remi and Flan full access to everywhere in the mansion while allowing everyone to see what was going on outside the mansion. And a danmaku battle is what was going outside the mansion as of right now.
Rainbow pellets scatter and slam against icicles.
...
HOW THE FUCK IS THAT FAIRY STILL ALIVE!?
I mean sure, Meiling is bad at danmaku and all that, but what the hell... or did she actually listened to Daiyousei and improved herself? That... seemed extremely unlikely though. Probably they had just recently started the fight. Yeah, that seemed more likely.
Anyway, I jumped over the tall wall thanks to a boost from my Stand and 「The World」. "Well, that fight was most certainly conveniently timed."
I walked into the mansion's front doors.
ゴ ゴ
ゴ ゴ
ゴ ゴ
ゴ ゴ
MENACING!
Well, should we now?
"Hey, you!" I heard a yell. I saw Reimu and Marisa coming towards me, also exploiting Meiling's fight with Cirno to get inside without any interference. But Jesus fucking... cut the volume down, will you? People are fighting over there, and I'm not going to like a whiny miko and tomboy witch break my element of surprise.
"Calm down, Reimu-san. Your voice was loud enough to wake the dead." Anyone get that? Vampires? Dead? EH? Anyway, both of them were lucky Meiling didn't hear that yell.
"How did you get here so fast-ze?" Marisa asked.
I just opened my mouth to answer before Reimu beat me to it. "It's your spirit familiars, wasn't it?" I nodded my head in agreement. "Figures. You handwaved practically anything remotely supernatural you do as your familiars' doing." That... was true. I nodded my head again. Reimu sighed again. "Let's just get inside." The miko walked in.
[Start BGM: Touhou EoSD OST: Voile, the Magic Library]
"Why are we even going here?" Reimu says exasperatedly.
"Wryyy..." I exhaled.
"Stop that, its creepy-ze." Marisa quipped.
"That was the entire point of it." I said in mock seriousness.
"Ugh."
Anyway, you might be wondering where we are. It's Stage 4 of EoSD, the Library. I think its name was supposed to be Voile or something, but I might be wrong.
"And why are you still following us?" Reimu inquired.
"Well, I wasn't part of the little bet that you two made, so anything I do wouldn't matter. Besides, I actually have no intention of being this Incident's resolver." That was kinda true. All I wanted was to fight people here. "Anyway, this place is a Great Library. It would make some sense the magician behind this Incident would set up camp here."
"What's the difference between libraries and great libraries, anyway?" Reimu half-asked in irritation.
"So many spell books-ze." Marisa has a hungry look to her eyes.
"Well, great libraries are bigger for one?" I said half-heartedly.
I noticed Marisa leaning closer towards a bookshelf. "Marisa, don't-" Too late. Marisa had already swindled a book, and it sprayed her with danmaku. Loudly. "...do that. God damn it, Marisa."
"AAAAAHH!" And she just blasted the book to oblivion. Loudly. "Stupid cursed books-daze." I face palmed.
"If you didn't steal it, it wouldn't do that."
"Well, I'm sorry but it looked enticing alright-ze?"
"That doesn't excuse your behavior." I scolded Marisa.
"I was about to borrow it, not steal it." She said as she browsed through a bookshelf.
In the end, Marisa decided to be an annoying bitch and stole some more books. Most didn't have a defensive spell, but some were enchanted to shoot danmaku, water, ice, fire, or some other element. There were a few that didn't do anything but scream. If books can actually scream, that is. It's more like an alarm system. Both Reimu and I grabbed our faces and groaned at this show of stupidity.
"Intruders! Get out of this library IMMEDIATELY!" Someone warned. The three of us looked to see who it is.
She was dressed in a black dress and white blouse combo (I think? I'm not good with clothes and fashion), sported a long red mane, owns some noticeable curves, and has two pairs of bat wings extending from both her back and her head.
The fandom calls her Koakuma.
"And whoever you may be, miss?"
"Koakum- Why am I telling you that?" Ah, so her name is indeed Koakuma. Huh.
"Probably because his voice is just so damn hypnotic-ze." Marisa quipped again. Koakuma stared at Marisa and the stack of books the latter held.
"THIEF! GIVE BACK THOSE BOOKS!" And now Koakuma started attacking her, completely forgetting about us. Maybe I'm pretty fuck-ass lucky. Or maybe Koakuma is just incompetent.
"..." Reimu only watched in silence, her face being stoically even. I can tell she's already tired of this show.
"Let's go Reimu-san. Let them both have a go at it. Let's just find that magician."
I heard some coughing fits. "Koakuma... don't make too much noise, please." A sickly voice wheezed out. Reimu cautiously approached the source of that voice with me being right behind her. I already have a guess on who the voice belonged to.
We found a pale girl in purple sleepwear(?), a crescent moon on her mob cap, reading a book that sat on a wooden desk lit by candlelight. Yep, this is her, alright.
[Lv. 42 Unmoving Great Library, Patchouli Knowledge]
"I'm sorry, but 'Koakuma' is currently busy handling a certain monochromatic thief. Who are you, miss?" Patchouli looked up, looking surprised.
"You must be the Incident Resolvers, then." She ignored my question.
"Obviously. How did you know then, missy?"
"Scarlet Mist. Sounds of a fight. Intruders. It's easy to connect if you had a half a brain." Was that supposed to be an insult?
"Did you make this Mist?" Reimu asks – no, more like interrogated.
"No. Remilia did."
"And I presume this 'Remilia' person is the one who owns the entire mansion. Am I correct, miss?"
"That is true, whoever you are."
"Joseph Bernstein, miss."
"And where can we find this 'Remilia'?" Patchouli simply stared behind us, and I looked backwards to see why she had gone silent. I see that Marisa had already won against Koakuma. Well that was faster than I thought.
"...I am not in the mood, nor health to deal with more than one intruder, so I'll just tell you." She sighed. "She's on the top floor of this mansion."
"Thank you, miss...?" Just answer my damn question already.
"Patchouli Knowledge." I nodded and said thanks once more, me and Reimu leaving Marisa to fight with Patchy.
All things considered, I suspected she had sicced Sakuya at us.
[End BGM]
{Third Person}
[Start BGM: Touhou EoSD OST: The Maid and the Pocket Watch of Blood]
Two of the intruders had left the library, and is now inside the corridor. They fought against some useless fairy maids on the way, and I already can sense their power from all the way here. The girl used her ofudas and senbon needles, while the boy used his snake-like green spirit familiar to spray the fairies with substantially sized, almost bullet-speed emeralds.
"Just some fairy maids... I am honestly surprised at the fact that they have fairies working here as maids considering just how stupid and clumsy they are." The bizarrely dressed magician said, with a voice that sounded... familiar yet different, somehow.
"It doesn't matter, let's just get to Remilia, beat her down, and tell her to stop this charade. I don't have the time nor patience to deal with this annoyance anymore." The maid narrowed her eyes at the shrine maiden's open admission of her intentions.
They may be the Incident Resolvers, but it'll be a cold day in Hell if the time came that she refused to protect her master. Now, time to plan how to take out these-
"Wryyy..."
The maid stopped her line of thought the instant she heard the familiar growl. A gibberish that was used constantly as a battle cry by someone important in her past life that she had nearly forgotten. 'Could it be? But that's impossible... he's dead for years.'
"Stop that." The miko said in irritation.
"Intruders!" A fairy maid exclaimed, before she got knocked out by a volley of emeralds.
"This is surprisingly easy. I thought it would be harder."
"I like these kinds of Incidents. I don't need to exert myself at all."
"Lazy as always, Reimu-san."
"Who said I'm lazy?!"
"Almost everyone in the Village."
The person didn't listen to the two intruders' ramblings and instead opted to watch over them.
...
She stalked the two as they fight more fairy maids, until she decided enough was enough and jumped in their way. "Intruders are not welcomed in here."
Once she entered the fray, the two intruders stiffened and prepared their weapons. The miko has her gohei and ofudas in both her hands. The black-gold magician meanwhile changed his spirit familiar, muttering something that she could not understand. The green spirit was gone, replaced by a spirit with a build like a serious bodybuilder, decked in golden armor pieces and green heart motifs.
"And who are you?" The shrine maiden asked.
"None of your business, shrine maiden." She prepared her knives for a battle.
"Silver knives? And quite a number of them." The magician said.
"And why do you care?"
"...That was rude. You know that one aren't supposed to be rude towards their guests, correct?"
"We don't take any random person who entered this mansion as guests, unless they have been invited beforehand." She said in increasing irritation.
"Mm... Reimu-san, you better go first. I'll deal with this maid."
The miko raised an eyebrow at the suggestion. "How about you?"
"I can deal with her. You should go and finish this Incident." He paused, and then added. "If you need help or Marisa comes by, I can just point the witch towards you."
"You sure?"
"...Why do you care for me just now? Anyway, just go. I will repeat this no longer; I can deal with her." The maid mentally laughed in condescension. Oh, how large is his arrogance.
Once she revealed her tricks, he would drop dead in seconds. Then she could get the miko done with. And then that 'Marisa' person he mentioned. No one will hurt her master. Not if she had a say in the matter.
"Fine then." The miko flew. The maid threw some knives towards her, who was only centimeters from getting skewered by the maid's knives.
"Hey! That's unfair, you know! At least tell me if you want to start a Spell Card Battle!" She protested.
"Nobody will go past me. You shall not-" The maid could not finish her sentence because she was punched right in the gut by the golden spirit of that boy's, harshly knocking the wind out of her lungs (and her body down to the tiled floor).
"You shall pass, Reimu-san. Go now, those knives aren't danmaku. Those are real, very sharp blades."
"Uh-huh. And you totally didn't throw actual throwing knives at me. Those are definitely danmaku knives." The shrine maiden muttered in sarcasm.
"Please just go, Reimu-san." She didn't know why, but that recognizable voice of this boy is reminding her of her past life.
"Just remember to not kill her. You know the rules, and the punishment if you break it." And with that, the miko flew away from the oncoming fight.
ゴ ゴ
ゴ ゴ
ゴ ゴ
ゴ ゴ
Both combatants only stared at each other.
"I was wondering why you looked familiar." The boy broke the silence. 'Don't tell me he is-' "And I think I just found the answer. Izayoi Sakuya, was it? Or should I say... Roanna Brando?"
Sakuya Izayoi, the maid of the Scarlet Devils, is now genuinely unsettled thanks to this boy who was years younger than her. "Dio..."
[End BGM]
{Joseph B. - First Person}
"Dio..." Sakuya blurted out.
[Lv. 40 Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Izayoi Sakuya]
[Achievement Alert!]
[Impress the Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion]
[Rewards: 20,000 Points.]
Ah... well that worked out spectacularly. If you were wondering what I was aiming for, it was throwing off Sakuya so I can fight her easier. What did I do? Channel 「Hermit Purple」's ability to divine information, and to no surprise it included memories. Do you know how unsettling it feels looking into people's minds? 'Really, she should've kept a closer lid on her own memories.'
'I too share your opinion, but WHAT THE FuuUuUUcK!?' My inner voice screamed in utter shock.
I learned that she recognised who 「We Are One」's voice really belonged to. Then I learned her true name; Roanna Brando, often affectionately nicknamed as "Ronnie" by Dio Brando.
Then I learned who she is; the supposed sibling of Dio who died from miscarriage.
Then I learned she was indeed a vampire hunter; A Hamon User newbie who was trained by William Anthonio Zeppeli himself, alongside Jonathan Joestar. Jonathan was obviously a natural thanks to plot, but past-Sakuya needed more time to master it.
Why does she wish to learn Sendo? When she was told of Dio's survival, she was ecstatic that her beloved brother-turned-vampire didn't die. When she was warned of Dio raising an undead army, she theorized that Dio would never kill her on purpose, but his minions might not share the same thought and kill her anyway. That, and the nagging idea that Dio may have left her alone. Paranoia was needed to survive in the harsh world she had before the Joestars adopted them after all.
Passing some random memories that 「Hermit Purple」 procured... like Sakuya killing Tarkus, fighting off the two knights' executioners, that neck brace contest thing, preventing Zeppeli's canonical death...
Then I saw the ending of Phantom Blood. Sakuya helped out on pulling off Dio's second death, as much as she hated it. Oh, and the survival of Zeppeli also prevented Dire's death as well, somehow. Then the ship scene where everyone but her dies because she used Dio's coffin. In all his Crowning Moment of Heartwarming glory, Dio sacrificed himself in order to save his little sister. However, I am doubtful this is the last time anyone will see of him. A little tid-bit; the ship went towards France, and not America. Jonathan didn't plan his honeymoon there for some reason.
Its official, JJBA (at least PB) is now canon in this version of Touhou. I'm just sincerely hoping there won't be any Pillar Men, or Stand Arrows. Now those would suck.
"No... you're not him. You can't be Dio, since he is dead. You are just an imposter posing as him. You didn't even try hard enough to act like him." That is true, Sakuya Brando.
"Yes. I am not Dio Brando." I took off the distorted voice of Takehito Koyasu. "My name is Joseph Bernstein. And as for that accusation, I legitimately did not know of anyone going by the name of Dio Brando until you dredged up your own memories of him."
"You're a satori youkai?"
'Non, non, non, mon mademoiselle!'
"No, I am but a normal human, though I am quite decently capable in mind-based magic. You better pray, since I am not going to be an easy prey." I replied.
"Tch. Such insolent pride, do you even know what I, or my mistress, could do?" Sakuya replied in turn.
"Time Flow Manipulation and Limited Fate Manipulation, respectively. Am I right or am I right?" That answer had definitely shocked Sakuya. "Anyway, should this be a spell card battle? Or should this be a death battle? It's your choice." Sakuya answered me with a barrage of silver knives. "A duel to the death then. A shame, really. 「The World」!"
O P E N
T H E
G A M E!
[ TO BE CONTINUED |\|]
Author's Note: Cue Walk Like an Egyptian by The Bangles.
OH MY GOD! Now it is revealed that, here, Sakuya is Dio's sister. As well as a Hamon User. I utterly broke canon just now, didn't I? Even I, the Author, is utterly speechless and baffled at what I myself just wrote. I really just wrote whatever comes to my mind, polish it a bit, and roll with it.
I am sorry if this chapter is not to your liking.
Anyway, I hope this chapter is better than the previous one, since I actually put in the effort to be somewhat original instead of copy-pasting sections of the DIO's World fight.
Now onto the Reviews.
superpierce: Well, he yelled what Dio always yell when the latter stops time; "世界ザ・ワールド! 時よ止まれ!/Za Warudo! Toki yo Tomare!" Which means "「The World」! Stop Time!"
So, regardless if he explained it or not, everyone who listened with a working brain will immediately know 「The World」's power is to stop time. All because Joseph yelled it out loud to the world...
EDIT: Removed mentions of Time Stop.
Unlimited Emptiness: Well, I did say "Credits to Ligoya for some scenes" at the disclaimers of certain chapters...
I'm lame when it comes to making everything from scratch, you know? This includes the majority of this chapter.
KRKing: Heh. I guess so.
Kamencolin: Uh, no. Not on youkai who aren't listed being weak towards the sun.
Well, I guess that's that, then. With everything said and done, I bid you adieu.