Zack worked through most of his shift by being nervous and watching his brother's every move for hints of what he was thinking but he could sense none of the anger from earlier, nor much of anything else for that matter. It bugged him that he couldn't read Cody's emotions. As his twin, Zack thought he should be able to.

But his worries were already forgotten by the time he'd nearly finished as Cody had gone back up to their suite leaving Zack to relax, lose himself in work and every now and then steal a glance of Will working beside him looking particualry hot in his uniform. All seemed well.

Until a few hours later.

He had just walked through the door, to find most of the suite's contents boxed up. His first instinct was that their mom had being fired and they were being kicked out the hotel but he soon found out that wasn't the case. Instead they were being upgraded to a bigger two-room suite due to their mother being given a promotion.

They spent the evening shifting their belonging's up two floors and into the their new home. Zack had to admit it was pretty impressive and looked foreword to sleeping in his new room until his mother decided to drop a bombshell.

"Seeing as this suite isn't really adapted to a family of three, you and Cody are going to have to share the double bed in there" She motioned towards the door behind Zack.

She began to talk once more but Zack wasn't listening as the word's 'Cody', 'share' and 'double bed' rang in his head, images flooding into his mind. Cody's sleeping form next to him for the next few weeks; his smell, the softness of his skin, his rythmic breathing, his lips. . . damn those lips. He was knocked out his thoughts as his mom handed him a box with his name on.

"Do you ever not zone out when I'm talking to you?" Carey rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"What?" Zack replied sarcastically, giving her a wink to which she responded with a small smile.

"Just go unpack"

Zack took and deep breath and entered his new room.

xXx

Cody, who had been happy and perfectly charming to their mother all evening, was once again sulky and only gave Zack single-word responses whenever he attempted to talk to him. Cody rummaged through one of the boxes that Zack had carelessly left on the floor and retrieved as many photo albums and items he could carry over to his bed.

Zack watched him and waited because surely his twin would say something soon. He'd never gone this long without talking to Zack. But Cody kept his head down and eyes focused on the photographs now in his lap as he sat cross-legged on the bed.

"Do you want us to look at them together?" Zack asked after another few moments of absolute silence. This was completely new to him. Cody usually never stopped talking.

"No," Cody said shortly. "There's more stuff in the box. You can sort through that."

Zack walked further into the room, but instead of following his brother's suggestion, he walked over to Cody and quite calmly plucked away the photo he was holding. "I don't want you to be angry with me anymore."

Cody tilted his head upward and glared at Zack without speaking.

"I can't have you mad at me," Zack continued in a subdued voice. "I need you not to be mad at me."

Cody's face softened slightly. "I'm not mad at you, Zack," he said and sighed. "I'm just confused about how things are now."

"What do you mean?"

Cody sucked on his bottom lip and looked away, appearing to be searching for words. "It kind of feels like you're slipping away from me," he admitted without meeting Zack's eyes.

Zack just stared down at his twin. "What? Where is this coming from?"

"Like this morning. When have you ever not wanted to do something I suggested?" He looked miserable suddenly. "I know you and me haven't always been on the same page, but lately it's like. . ."

"Cody." Zack grasped his brother's hands and pulled him into a hug. Cody didn't protest; he just followed Zack's movements willingly as their embrace tightened and stretched into several long moments. Zack surreptitiously inhaled his brother's scent where he rested his head on Cody's shoulder with his face pressed against the smooth neck. "We are on the same page. Always. That's never going to change."

Cody loosened his grip slightly so that he could look at Zack's face. "So why has it?"

"It hasn't," Zack insisted and tried to convince himself that the truth was in there somewhere.

Cody's eyes bore into Zack's, his expression quite unreadable. "I can tell when something has changed and I feel it now. Don't treat me like I'm stupid."

"I don't, it's just. . . I don't know what to say. There's nothing wrong." He had to do it, he had to lie. It was the only way to keep things like they were and not turn everything into a disaster from which there was no going back.

"I used to know everything about you," Cody said, his voice quite soft and calm but his expression was almost wistful. It was obvious that he didn't buy Zack's weak lies.

"You still do," Zack said but his eyes must have betrayed him because Cody started to pull away from their hug. He didn't look angry but the disappointment on his face was overwhelming. "No, don't," Zack said desperately.

Cody didn't meet his eyes as his hand broke contact with Zack's waist. "I'm all hugged out."

Zack watched his twin return to his position on the bed and pick up the phto once more. He had no idea what to say and even if he had come up with the most perfect speech in the world, the words still wouldn't have been able to press through the giant lump in his throat. A part of him just wanted to shout out the truth and have Cody know everything Zack had been keeping inside but the rational part of him refused to let it out. What if the truth was enough to lose Cody? Zack could never live through that.

He quickly blinked away the sudden moisture that had gathered in his eyes and turned around, heading towards the door. He needed to get out of there.

"Where are you going?"

Zack put on his jacket and used that as an excuse not to look at his twin. "To Will's. I need to talk to him about work." He waited for Cody to protest or call him on his bluff, or anything really, but his brother remained quiet. Zack opened the door and left him to it. His mother was too busy in her new room she didn't even notice Zack leave.

Instead of riding down the lift and walking through narrow hallway to Will's door, he only took a few steps to the side before he slid down to the floor. His eyes were staring straight ahead at the peach-coloured wall but he wasn't really seeing it. He just felt empty, and cold, and like some key element in his relationship with his twin had just withered and died.

He didn't know how long he sat there on the floor and stared at the wall, but after a while a shadow passed over his stretched out legs and was soon followed by someone kneeling down. Only when the person softly spoke Zack's name did he look up. It was Will.

"What are you doing out here?"

Zack stared blankly into the other man's face. "I don't know."

Will glanced at the closed door that read 2438 and looked worried. "Is Cody okay?"

"Yeah."

"Did you fight?" Will peered down at him with a frown on his face.

Zack shook his head but didn't say anything. He couldn't, or perhaps he just didn't want to. Whatever happened between himself and Cody wasn't anyone else's business after all, not even Will's.

"Can I help you inside or something?" Will asked after a few seconds.

Zack sighed. "My legs actually work, you know."

"So why are you sitting here like they don't?"

Zack turned his head upward and took in Will's face. He still looked a bit worried but there was another expression there as well that Zack couldn't explain. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I came to see if you'd settled in ok, so you gonna invite me in?"

He had no intention of inviting Will in but Zack pretended to ponder Will's question for a few moments as to not raise suspision and more questions. "Can I come over to yours instead? It was the plan after all." It wasn't exactly what Zack wanted but it was better than receiving icy silence and having to see Cody's disappointed face.

Will's smile was gentle. "Of course you can."

Zack smiled weakly, extending his hand and letting Will pull him to his feet. The motion pushed them much closer together than Zack had anticipated and he found his breath catching as he was suddenly staring right at Will's neck, before his eyes darted up to his lips. Zack smirked before leaning in to press his mouth against them.

Will pulled back in surprise and his eyes quickly scanned left to right in the quiet hallway. "Are you crazy? Someone might see."

"I don't care," Zack said truthfully. In fact, he almost wished Cody would open the door and find them there together. A part of him longed for Cody to be jealous. What happened then would be anyone's guess.

Will looked like he was battling several different emotions but he eventually seemed to settle on continuing what Zack had started, though he wasn't going to do it out in the corridor. He hooked his fingers around Zack's wrist and dragged him over to the lift and down to his room door and produced his key card. Once inside he flung himself at Will without thinking because if he let his mind explore his actual wishes, then he wouldn't be there with someone he didn't love and it was more clear to him now than ever that he didn't love Will in that way. But he still needed the physical attention from another human and he wasn't going to get that anywhere else. He felt guilty about it of course but that was easily forgotten when the sensations of Will's hands and lips on his skin created something like magic to him.

Their clothes were off and scattered across the floor in no time at all. If Zack had stopped the frantic kissing he would have felt embarrassed to be naked in front of someone else but he didn't spare his modesty a single thought as he was being pulled onto the bed.

He landed on top of Will and from there most everything was a blur of skin and heat and new sensations.

xXx

Will's body didn't feel comforting like Cody's always did, but Zack pretended not to notice.

They lay collapsed together in Will's bed, both naked and spent. Zack was resting his head on Will's shoulder but avoiding to look at his face. The emptiness from earlier had filled him again and he had no idea what to do with himself. He thought that he should have been happy and pleased and giddy with the way he had spent the night.. They had kissed for so long that Zack's lips were puffy and he felt like he had an invisible trail of Will's saliva across his entire body and in one place especially. He remembered how one of his hands had clutched at the sheets while the other held the back of Will's head as he worked Zack with his mouth. Zack had gasped and moaned during the embarrassingly short time he had lasted and then relaxed into the mattress while the blissful feeling faded. It had felt good right up until the point when it hadn't.

I am a terrible person, Zack thought as he lay there beside someone who loved him and whom he did not love back. "I'm sorry," he thought, but only belatedly realised that the words had actually come out of his mouth.

"For what?" Will, understandably, sounded confused.

"For. . ." Zack started and quickly searched through his brain for a reasonable explanation. "For it being so fast. I mean, me." He felt Will's body shiver slightly in a chuckle.

"I didn't expect anything else for your first time. Trust me, it's fine."

"I should have. . ." He made a face. "Reciprocated."

"We don't need to rush anything, Zack. We'll take this at a pace you feel comfortable with."

Zack felt a smile appear on his lips, but it wasn't a happy one. Will was such a good guy and he didn't deserve to have someone doing this to him. He deserved real love, not this, not whatever it was Zack was feeling or not feeling. He lifted his head from Will's warm skin and forced a yawn. "I should go. I'm really tired."

"You could sleep here," Will suggested with a half-smile. "The bed is big enough."

Zack smiled back but shook his head. "I can't. Cody will get worried."

Will's smile suddenly turned into a frown. "Have you. . .told him about this?"

"No." The mere thought sent a rush of unease through Zack.

"Oh, so that's why I'm not dead yet. I was wondering." Will sounded only half-joking.

"Come on. Even if he knew he wouldn't care," Zack said but didn't meet Will's eyes.

Will gave him a look that clearly let Zack know that he was crazy. "Cody would kick my ass if he knew what we're doing together. That's not even a guess, it's a fact."

Zack said nothing because he knew he couldn't argue with that.

"Your brother can be a bit scary sometimes," Will continued.

Zack frowned slightly. "Cody's harmless."

"He is," Will agreed but fixed Zack with a serious stare. "But not when it comes to you. He's possessive over you. It's like you belong to him, and him only."

"We're twins," Zack explained, a little defensively. "He has a right to be."

"Maybe." Will looked thoughtful. "You're not the same person though. He doesn't own you."

"I know that," Zack said.

"But you listen to him a lot, don't you? You do what he tells you." It was a statement, not a question.

Zack felt slightly annoyed now. "I'm not a dog, Will." He lifted the hand that had laid on Will's chest and placed it at his side instead.

"That's not what I meant," Will said simply. "But you have to admit that you depend on him a bit more than you should."

Zack narrowed his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you won't have have him around all the time soon. You need to be your own person, away from him."

"No," Zack said, the word coming out in a breath. "No, I don't want to be."

"Zack-"

"You don't know what it's like to be part of someone else," Zack interrupted, getting up and out of the bed. He found his clothes on the floor and his temper kept rising as he struggled to fit the right limbs into the correct items. "You think it's just about you and your feelings and your needs but it's not. It's about his too. And you love him so much that you will do everything you can to make him happy because that's what he does for you!"

"Zack," Will sighed and it was obvious that he was irritated as well. "Both of you are going to meet someone eventually, heck, Cody already has, and this thing you have is going to have to be broken up. You need to cut the cord sooner or later."

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Zack said angrily as he furiously searched for his left sock but it was nowhere to be found. Fuck it. He made to leave.

"Zack, you deserve to have a life of your own."

Zack spun around. "Don't try to tell me what I do or don't deserve! I've only know you for a minute compared to him." He turned around again and opened the door, but not without leaving the comment that had circled in his mind all night. "This was a mistake."

It took him twenty seconds to get back to his room and only one more to realise that Cody was sleeping. Zack had hoped he would be awake because he wanted to apologize again and again until Cody forgave him. No matter what it took he needed to have Cody back. He shook off his jacket without caring where it landed as he the bed. "Cody?" He whispered but his twin did not wake up. Zack carefully crept into bed next to his brother, trying not to disturb the bedding so much that it woke him up, but he failed.

Cody stirred and opened his eyes, looking sleepy and confused. "Zack?"

"Yeah, it's me," Zack said, smiling at the look on his twin's face. "Who did you think it was?"

Cody smiled lazily through closed eyed. "Some hot chick."

"Sorry to disappoint." He scooted closer to Cody and felt the warmth coming off his brother's body.

"Not disappointed." Cody smiled and opened his eyes a little. His expression sharpened immediately. "What's wrong?"

Zack thought about shrugging it off and saying 'nothing', but he had done that all day and he doubted that Cody would believe him any more this time. He went with a bit of the truth instead. "Had a fight with Will."

"About what?"

Zack sighed as he slid his hand over Cody's waist and to his back. He'd done the same motion with Will but it was still much different now. "Can we talk about it tomorrow? I just want to sleep now."

Cody stared at him, looking slightly confused, but nodded nevertheless. "Do you want a hug?"

Zack smiled as he felt Cody's arms around him and their legs entertwined. Zack was wearing almost a full set of clothes but the situation still seemed significantly more intimate than the one he had experienced completely naked with Will. He felt so happy here, like this, with his twin right next to him. Their foreheads were touching together and Zack's eyes locked with Cody's. Something in Zack's stomach fluttered as he realised that their lips were only inches apart. He searched Cody's eyes for something, permission maybe, but he couldn't read them too well in the dark. No matter, he couldn't stop himself anyway.

Zack tilted his face forward and didn't hesitate once before his mouth touched Cody's in a soft kiss. Will's lips had been hot and moist, but Cody's were soft and dry. The kiss wasn't much more than a peck but it might as well have been full blown sex because of the way Zack's entire world shifted. He forced himself to move back to see how the kiss had been received and found himself staring at the same smile as before on Cody's face.

Zack could tell right away that his brother hadn't grasped the meaning behind it. Cody thought it was a natural extension of their hug, just a more intimate way of showing brotherly affection. Zack didn't know whether to cry or feel relieved. He was so terrified of being rejected but even more so of Cody, never knowing his feelings at all.

Zack broke eye contact and placed his head so that their foreheads touched again.

You're never going to love me back, are you?