Baby, when you were looking at them, I was looking at you...

The double doors swing open, and it's a sad and inevitable fact.

Summer school.

He's trying to get over the fact that his wife is on a rampage to ruin his life. Really, that's what it must be. Omar, Dante…the debacle with Ricky at the graduation party. He guesses he should feel jealous, but he really doesn't. Maybe it's because he knows for a fact that Ricky was no longer interested, or maybe that the kiss didn't feel the way Adrian thought it would.

The hollow way she held herself up on the dance floor alerted him of that. And it's just another reason on a list chock full of reasons as to why he can't be friends with Ricky; maybe Adrian was a lot of things, he could attest to that. But she didn't deserve to be embarrassed that way, not by him.

He extends his hand out to her, and her eyes are glassy and warm as she takes it and they sway in place, everything and everyone else behind them background noise.

…But back to ruining his life.

Adrian, in true fashion, goes back to the way things were before. Obsessing over a guy who isn't good for her, and calling up guys that don't care for her, and wearing clothes that stay snug over her quickly slimming figure.

The only difference is that now, she has a roommate. And sometimes, he really does consider moving out fully and completely.

They argue over everything; what food to keep in the condo, and if she can have her boyfriend(s?) stay overnight, and why he doesn't just move out because it's really cramping her style.

Then they'll do something really stupid while they're arguing, like he'll take her up against the wall and she'll bite on his lower lip in retaliation, wrapping her arms and legs around him, and later on she'll think that this is nothing, and he'll wonder if this is everything because he doesn't want to give up on her. He owes her at least that much.

"You're right," He says against her swollen lips. "You do have a perfectly good husband in the house."

Adrian's eyes widen because she was just arguing with Ben because he was so stupid and now she's making out with Ben, with him throwing the words she spewed at him in anger, and the lust fades from her eyes as easily as it had come.

So stupid.

She pushes him away, and says she has a boyfriend, and that they're divorcing and that he should leave because she can't keep doing this.

Maybe that's why he subjects himself to the hell that is summer school.

Because he's a masochist and a glutton for whatever life-ruining punishment his wife has for him.

She writes an essay to Columbia, depicting what's happened in her life, and explaining why she deserves a second chance at redemption to be a student there. Then, in her most impressive show of bravado yet, actually goes to the cute little apartment above the butcher shop and asks Ricky to proof it.

"Adrian, don't you get it? Wasn't what happened at the graduation party enough?" Amy asks, beyond exasperated.

"Look, just because your baby daddy-"

"Fiancé," Amy says, cutting her off.

"Whatever," Adrian rolls her eyes. She pushes herself into the apartment because like Amy was going to stop her, and Ricky comes up to her at the door. She smirks, batting her eyelashes, "Hi Ricky."

"Get out," He says seriously. "You can't keep doing things like this, Adrian."

She shoves the essay at him, "Read this, and I will. After all, you owe me."

"I don't owe you anything, Adrian," Ricky frowns.

"I beg to differ, Ricky." Adrian says.

Ricky opens his mouth to say something, but then there's a pitter-patter on the floor, and John emerges from the bedroom. Adrian stares at him silently; he's a little taller than she remembers. Ricky looks from John to Adrian, sees the longing in her eyes, and shuts his mouth. "Fine," He agrees quietly. "I'll read it – in the hallway."

So that's how they end up sitting on the staircase leading down to the butcher shop in the late afternoon. Adrian sits quietly as he goes through each paragraph with a critical eye, pointing out different ways that she could've written certain phrases. While he looks over her work, she takes the time to unabashedly look at his facial features, like his determined eyes and his strong jaw.

"Quit it, Adrian."

"Quit what?" She asks innocently.

"You know what. I have a son with Amy, who I very much plan on marrying. Back off."

Adrian shrugs with a sigh. "Don't be so hasty, Ricky. Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be."

"I'm sure it's not when you don't love the person. But I love Amy. Why can't you respect that?"

Adrian stays quiet not out of respect, but because she knows that she and Ben loved each other. Some days she's sure that buried deep down, there are feeling still there, but since neither one are mature enough to deal with them, they'll just keep going through the cycle of argue, fuck, repeat until she convinces him to move out.

Ricky, on the other hand, seems dead set on something a blind person could see miles away.

Then again, Ricky always gets what he wants, so, what if it's the same thing in this instance, even if Amy is flakier than peeling paint on a wall.

"This is good, Adrian," Ricky murmurs overall. He hands her back her sheets of paper, and stands up, ready to head upstairs.

Adrian, still sitting, looks up at him over her shoulder. "Thanks."

In another time, in another place, Ricky would've looked back at her, smirked, and said, "Anytime."

In reality, Ricky sighs deeply, and heads upstairs without a backward glance.

In this instance, this seems like better closure to her than the kiss.

"Ben, why are you in summer school?" Adrian asks him seriously, on a rare occasion that they're not arguing.

"So I could graduate faster," he says easily, changing the channel from the procedural court drama to something a little lighter.

"So why do you want to graduate faster?"

So I can watch out for you, he doesn't say. "Did you submit your letter to Columbia, yet?"

"I've thought about it," Adrian says looking at the television screen, eating her salad from Poppie's.

"Don't worry about it, I did it for you."

"What?" Adrian hisses, and look, there goes their pleasant evening. "Tell me you're joking, please, Ben. I couldn't have married someone who's this much of an idiot."

Ben stays quiet, looking at the Bowflex commercial on screen.

Adrian clutches the sleeve of his shirt, salad be damned. "Ben, how could you? Oh my God," Adrian jumps up from the couch, runs to her bedroom where she knows she left it on the nightstand, only to see it gone, 3,000 miles away by now. She almost shrieks, wanting to pull on her hair because he didn't have the right. He didn't have the right.

Ben takes a sip of his soda, and she stomps out of the hallway back into the living room. "Pendejo¡ Get out of the house, Ben, I'm serious! I cannot believe you did this." She's pacing around the living room, frantic. "How could you be such an ass? No one asked you to interfere – what if they don't like it, or what if they think I'm an idiot for writing something like that, and then I'll look pathetic, and, and what if they never accept me? This could've been my only shot! How could you? I hate you, Ben, I really hate you!" And her world blurs and suddenly, she feels like she can't breathe, like she's drowning and her oxygen supply is depleting. He wraps his arms around her and she looks up because she hadn't realized he had gotten up, and she beats on his chest because she can't breathe and it's his entire fault.

Stupid Ben. So, so stupid.

Her body wracks itself with convulsions, and she sobs against his chest because what else can she do? Dante's out of town, and Omar won't get it, and Ricky hates her.

All that's left is Ben.

He holds her, "They're going to love you Adrian. I promise."

She shakes her head against his chest, a blubbering mess, and she hates Ben for bringing out this type of emotion in her because she doesn't cry, dammit, she doesn't cry. Its weakness and vulnerability, and that's not her. How could he do this to her?

"I thought – you said – you didn't want to hurt me," Adrian gasps out between tears.

"I don't," Ben says quietly.

"Then why do you keep doing it?"

"I don't know," He answers honestly. He doesn't mean to keep hurting Adrian, and yet, here they were. And he holding her up, trying to prevent her from shattering in a million pieces, and love shouldn't feel like this. He gathers her up in his arms, not that she put up much of a fight, and takes her to her bedroom, and tucks her in bed. Adrian rolls around to face the wall, her back to Ben. "I know it's hard to believe right now, but I did it because I care for you. And I know this is something you've always wanted, and even if you want something else, like Cosmetology school, or anything, I'll support you on it."

Adrian stays quiet, and something in him breaks.

He's in deep enough to admit that it's probably his heart.

Later on that night, Adrian wakes up a few hours later and calls Omar.

By the time he answers the phone; she hears the sleep in his tone and can't believe how sexy he sounds at 3 in the morning. "Hey."

"Hey," she says back shyly.

"You okay? Is something wrong?" He asks a little more awake and a lot more concerned.

"I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice," she says because it's true, even though she sounds more girly than she would like. This whole having feelings thing is something she's kind of over at this point, and all she is around Ben is a messy heap of feelings.

"Anytime you want babe," he says with a smile in his voice, and that's pretty much all she wanted to hear.

"Can I see you?"

"Right now?"

"Yeah," Adrian murmurs.

"Be there in 20."

A little bit before that, Ben leaves the condo for some air, meets up with Henry and Alice at her house.

"But why don't you just move out, Ben? Actually, I thought you did." Alice laments back to a couple of weeks ago before school ended.

He shrugs, not really expecting her to understand. "I did leave. But then I realized that was a mistake and I can't just leave her. Adrian doesn't like admitting it, but she knows that she needs me, and I know that I need her."

"So, you don't mind her going out with other guys?" Henry asks.

"I didn't say that," Ben frowns. "That's how she is, that's how she copes with things."

"And how are you coping, Ben?" Alice inquires with a worried brow. "I mean, are you guys still going through with the divorce?"

"The paperwork's been filed," Ben admits hollowly. "Look, I know what you're saying, and I appreciate it, I really do, but you don't understand. Everyday feels like a fight to not spiral out of control, and yeah, Adrian's stubborn, but so am I. It would be easy to just move out and give up on her, but I feel like I would be giving up on myself, too. And I can't do that. I need to be strong not only for her, but for myself."

"Because you still love her," Alice says perceptively.

"Because I still love her," Ben agrees.

Being with Omar is easy, and surprisingly, telling him everything is easier. Things she would talk about to Ben become things she says to Omar. He's soothing and understanding. He's not judgmental and doesn't try to push her into things, or change her.

He's not stupid.

He's kind of perfect, and her heart skips a beat when he kisses her.

"Do you want to stay over?" Omar asks, trailing the pad of his finger down her arm.

And she wants to, she really wants to, and probably would if she didn't have someone at home waiting for her. "I should go."

"It's not because of Ben, is it?" Omar asks, and she can't detect a hint of jealously there, which at first she thinks is odd.

"Because it's late, and we should both go to sleep."

He holds her a little tighter, teasing, "You could sleep over here."

"I don't think we would only be sleeping," Adrian says coyly.

"You're probably right." Omar nods, kissing her on the forehead. "Maybe next time."

He takes her home and she walks in to the sight of Ben talking off his jacket in the living room. A small part of her wants to ask if he was with a girl, but decides against that because it's none of her business anymore.

Then a larger part of her throws that logic to the wind. "So, were you with Dylan?"

Ben gives a wry sigh, "No."

She takes her jacket off and throws it haphazardly on the couch. "I'm still mad at you."

"I know."

"Like, really mad at you."

"You'll get over it."

She steps in front of him, "I don't get over things, Ben. I'm really good at holding grudges, just ask Grace."

Ben shrugs, heading into the kitchen, "Eventually, you will, and when you do, I'll still be here." He takes a box out of the cabinet. "Churro?"

Adrian wrinkles her nose. "But I'm on a diet."

"Suit yourself," Ben says, and Adrian glowers at him, snatching the box from his hand and grabbing a long bar of sweet toasted goodness from the box. When she bites into the treat, sighing at the heavenly taste that's crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, she frowns at Ben for good measure.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Benny."

...And just like that, the muse is back.

DAC