A/N: Okay...you are getting this more then two days early because I just couldn't wait. It is Edward's POV…and boy is he wordy. Don't forget while you read this that he is very intelligent and a horny teenage boy. I loved writing him and he had a lot to say. And just so there is no confuion, its kind of a recap up to the present with dinner from his pov.
Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns…all three Cullen brothers can own me any day.
--
You're like the kiss of death
Like the hand of fame
I can tell your trouble
But I still wanna taste
"So Hott" by Kid Rock
--
Ch. 7
The first time that I saw her picture, I got an instant hard-on.
Not to sound vulgar, but fuck…she was gorgeous.
It was the summer before my sophomore year of high school. Jasper and I got our parents to let us go to some dumb summer camp for basketball. When we weren't half-assing it on the court we were out behind the furthest cabin drinking cheap beer, which some pimpled-faced kid managed to smuggle into the camp, and smoking.
By the time I came back to Forks eight weeks later I found Alice pinning new pictures of Bella on her wall of pictures. I hadn't seen Bella since we'd hit puberty, and boy did it agree with her.
I found myself sneaking into my sister's room to drool over this 2-D version of Bella. I will never willingly admit this to anymore, especially Alice…but I rummaged through her double copies of photos and found one of just Bella. She was sitting on a piece of driftwood down at La Push, in this white and black polka dot bikini, giving the camera a toothy smile. Her hair was wet and sandy from the beach…but it only enhanced her features.
How the hell can someone have such an effect on me through only a picture? Fuck if I know.
So thus my obsession over my sister's best friend began. I would never outwardly show any interest when Bella came up in conversation…but internally, I was filing that shit to obsess over later in the privacy of my bedroom.
Once school started back up, I tried to push her to the back of my brain. She was forbidden…a taboo…my sister's best friend. And besides, I hadn't seen her in over three years.
Having a best friend that is a year older worked to my advantage. Jasper always knew where all the cool parties were (we made a point to always go away from Forks for those) and since he already had his driver's license, it was perfect.
After allowing Tanya Denali to be the first to go down on me in freshmen year, I made a vow to stay as far the hell away from high school girls as I could get. They were all recycled bimbo's in Forks' mating pool. The last fuckin' thing I need after a blowjob is some girl giggling between my legs…fuckin' mood killer.
Sophomore year went along without much incident. My parents forced me to attend therapy because apparently I was 'lashing out because of my past.' Bullshit. I managed to effortlessly get straight A's…I could seriously pass every damned test with my eyes closed. Also, another main motivation for keeping up the grades was to keep Carlisle and Esme off of my back. That equals more freedom. Despite my stellar grades, that was the year that Chief Swan knew Jas and me on first name basis. Mostly for smoking on the football field and several loud parties that were thrown at the Hale estate.
The only girl apart from Bella that had given me an instant hard-on was Rosalie. Even though she was technically a high school girl, she was a whole different caliber. Before I could make a move to make a claim on her, my 'brother' made of a scene in the school hallway by literally jumping her. They became inseparable after that, dashing any hope of hooking up with her. Oh well, I still had images of Bella to whack off to.
When summer was once again approaching, I caught wind that Bella was coming back yet again to spend the summer. I knew that was my opportunity to see this girl up close who had been the fixture of my fantasies for the past year. But after one intense session with my therapist, I was heavily doubting myself. Plus, there was the rule I had set for myself to not touch any high school girls…and she was one.
Jasper had given me my escape; we ended up following Kings of Leon on their European Tour that summer. Best summer of my life…we met plenty of European girls. One in particular, Heidi from Switzerland, kept me on my toes the entire time we were in that country. I was proud to say that I was able to forget all about Bella for at least a few weeks.
So when we returned to boring Forks later that summer, I honestly felt like a new person. Too bad the giddiness of it all quickly wore off. Alice had spent half of her summer in Arizona with Bella due to her mom getting re-married. So I knew what that meant right away…Alice had not only new pictures of Bella, but every other story was of what they had done in Phoenix.
Bella threw the best parties.
Bella has the best ass and Alice wished she was blessed with one just like it.
Bella had two college guys fighting over her at an ASU frat party.
Bella this…Bella that. It was almost like Alice knew that I was internally groaning at anything having to do with this girl.
To top it all off…my nightmares returned. I had been plagued with them since I was adopted into the Cullen family years ago. My beginning was not pleasant and unfortunately for me, I remembered almost every detail of my previous life before finally getting out.
Carlisle noticed that I was getting quieter and quieter so he decided to double up on my therapy. Of course he knew about the occasional drug use and that my drinking had increased. They were two ways that helped me black out at night…anything to get away from the images of my past.
I had managed to swipe another picture from Alice's stash of Bella porn (I call it that because...well…for obvious reasons). I was already a sick bastard anyways, might as well make it worth going to hell for.
Junior year was much the same as sophomore year. The only difference was that I finally got my license along with an amazing Aston Martin. That was my pride and joy. Jasper had recently acquired a motorcycle and he mentioned that he wanted to start a riding group. Some of the guys at school and I managed to talk the parental's into allowing us to take the motorcycle test to get a special license. Once that was out of the way, I purchased my first hog.
A 1975 Harley Davidson FLH Custom with candy apple red paint chroming…better then the best lay that I have ever gotten. The bike literally purred at start-up and was a smoother ride then the Aston.
Right after I got my bike Jake, Embry, Marcus and Alec followed and get their own. I offered Emmett a spot in the group if he was interested, but the guy was too focused on Rosalie and football.
We made more frequent trips up to Seattle…Rosalie had started school and we managed to crash a few of her parties. Let's just say that we were not at the top of her list of favorites.
Spring Break was quickly approaching and the guys and I were planning to go down to Cabo for the week. That was all shot to hell when tight-ass Chief Swan pulled my bike over for 'going thirty miles over the speed limit.' That was the last straw for Esme, so she forbid me from going. Well I just had to be the bastard that I am and throw my weight around until Alice wasn't allowed to go to Phoenix to see Bella for her break. If I wasn't going to be seeing any hotties, neither was she.
Alice had almost ruined my CD collection in her rage.
"I can't believe you Edward! I haven't seen her in months and you just have to ruin my fun time because you fucked up!" she screamed in my doorway.
"I'm doing you a favor. I don't need my sis to be exposed those college guys. You know they only have one thing on their minds," I sarcastically said while throwing an arm over her petite frame.
"God you're a jackass. Thanks for ruining everything!" she shook my arm off.
"Whatever Alice. Get over it already." I made my way over to my bed and flopped down on top of the covers. After a minute of no response from my sister, I peaked my head up to see if she was still standing there.
Oh, she was. With the creepiest smirk on her sprite face. Suddenly her eyes glazed over and she began to literally hop up and down on her feet with a slight squeal.
"What the hell Alice?" I asked, sitting up.
"She going to move here!" she squealed.
"Who?"
"Bella! About time…I have been having this feeling for ages." And with that she skipped down the hallway, completely forgetting our argument.
I flopped back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Bella was coming to Forks.
The forbidden fruit was going to be closer then ever.
Fuck.
I reached into my side table drawer and pulled out her crinkled picture from the summer before. Her chocolate, brown eyes were so expressive and they were alight with mischief. The thought of her and Alice teaming up when she moved her gave me the shivers.
I finished up the school year with the usual good grades despite the edginess that I had been feeling since school was ending. I had never felt this pull towards another human being before and I hadn't even had physical contact with her for over five years!
As her arrival date came closer, the edginess increased. It probably didn't help that Alice was even more wired then usual and spent more and more time over at the Swan's residence. The fact that she was going to live less then five hundred yards from me was not helping my issues.
I was a hard person to get close to. Partly the reason for that was because I didn't allow many people into my circle of trust. Apart from the guys, Jasper and my family…everybody else was kept at arms length. The rumors around school were always running amuck about me, from Jasper and me as a secret couple to me being a ladies man and breaking college girls' hearts. I wasn't exactly a ladies man. I knew that I was good looking and when I wanted some then I used that to my advantage. But I highly doubt I was a heartbreaker…I was doing those girls a favor anyways.
And besides…when I have bitches like Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory throwing themselves at me around every corner…I felt that my beliefs were justified. I really had no desire to get some kind of STD.
Alice went from vibrating with excitement to a subdued somber. I tried asking if she was alright but she would merely shrug me off. Even though it went against my usual behavior, I decided to pursue the sudden change in Alice…she was my sister afterall.
I quickly found Esme in the kitchen, her usual haunt.
"Hey Esme, what's going on with Alice?" I asked perching myself up on the counter.
"She is just upset about Bella," she mumbled as she continued to wash the dishes.
Immediately the panic level began to rise at the mention of Bella. "What? Is she okay?"
"She's okay. Just going through a rough time. Her mom just passed away the other day. She flat out refused to let Alice come down to help her; so that is probably partly the reason your sister is acting like she is."
"Her mom died?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah. I don't know the details…but I guess Bella has to move here no matter what now. Probably just not as soon as she had anticipated."
We talked for a few more minutes before I slinked back up the stairs to my room. I immediately went to my drawer and pulled out the hidden pictures that I looked at countless times.
A new feeling started bubbling up deep within me. It was very unfamiliar and unsettled me. I laid there, just staring at the ceiling, mulling over my mom's piece of news.
After awhile I felt my eyes begin to grow heavy and right before I fell completely into unconsciousness I recognized the feeling. I suddenly felt very protective of this mystery girl.
--
Jasper was late for our meet-up as usual. The fucker had said he was just going to stop at the gas station to refuel.
Jake was tapping his boot on the gravel while Embry and Alec decided to hold an impromptu wrestling match.
Finally I heard a rumble down the road before the familiar blonde head of my best friend came into sight.
"What the hell? Twenty minutes late?" I started at him as soon as he braked.
"Dude. You have no clue. I just saw some new meat at the gas station?" he responded.
"And?" I prompted.
"She is the Chiefs daughter." I noticed that his lips kept moving, but suddenly I was experiencing tunnel vision.
She was here. Breathing the same air as me.
I tried my damndest to keep my nonchalance attitude when inside I was battling with some crazy emotions.
You're such a fuckin' chick it's not even funny.
"…and I am going to see her tomorrow."
What?
"I said she agreed to see me tomorrow man. She looks like she would be a nice fuck."
I didn't realize I had said it aloud when he answered my question.
"Are you talking about Bella?" Jake came striding over to us. The kid was a year younger then me but stood a good four inches taller.
"Yeah," Jasper responded.
"Don't talk about her like that man…she is like family to me." Jake sounded like he was scolding a kid.
"Family?" I asked.
"Yeah…Charlie is best friends with Billy."
We finally decided to get on the bikes and spent the rest of the afternoon riding to Sequim. We stopped briefly for some lunch and then made our way back. We all were relatively quiet throughout the trip, each of us dealing with the fact that it may be the last ride we would all be able to take together for awhile. It didn't help that Jasper and Marcus were going off to college.
Esme called and asked if any of the guys wanted to come over for dinner. They were never one to turn down Mrs. Cullen's world famous cooking.
We all pushed and shoved ourselves into the house, getting scolded by Esme to wipe our feet on the doormat. Yep, the bad boys of Forks are turned into little puppies with their tail between their legs.
Alice made a rare appearance, usually choosing to stay upstairs when all the guys were around. She was back to her old self again and even talking steadily with Jasper and Embry. If I didn't know any better…she was flirting! And they knew it! Just what I needed on top of everything else…
Most of the guys left around nine, leaving Jasper and I alone. The afternoon left me enough time to obsess over Jasper's intentions with Bella. He of course had no idea just how deep I was. Hell…I hadn't even realized how deep I was until Jasper said she finally arrived.
I walked into the basement game room to find Jasper and Alice sitting relatively close to one another in deep conversation. With the clearing of my throat they quickly jumped apart.
"Ed…hey man. I was beginning to wonder where you went off to," Jasper began nervously.
I just 'mhmm'd' as Alice quickly said a giggly goodbye and ran back upstairs.
"So Jasper. What do you think of my newest neighbor?" I wasn't going to cut around the corner, straight talk was going to be the main strategy.
"Uh. Well she is pretty hot. I don't know her well enough; maybe tomorrow I can make a move."
I had to keep my fist firmly planted into the seat cushions that I was sitting on in order not to punch him.
"There is something you don't know Jas."
"What?"
I let out a big sigh. "I'msortaintoher," I said really fast.
"Wah…wait! What the hell did you just say?" he said sitting at the edge of his seat.
"I said…I am sorta into her."
Before I could say anything else, he immediately began to laugh.
"Seriously man? Do you even know what she looks like?" he asked between chuckles.
"Shut up. Yes I know what she fucking looks like. So if you were any kind of friend you would stay the hell away." I was suddenly standing in anger.
"Okay, so you like her. But dude, what happened to the 'no fucking high school girls' rule?"
I sat back down, confused again on how I was feeling. "I know…I know. But…" I trailed off, running my palms up and down my face in frustration.
"But there is just something about her, right?" he finished.
"Yeah."
"Listen. I am not going to say that I'm not going to take a chance with her if I'm feeling it. But you can use this to your advantage."
I gave him a skeptical look.
"Obviously I will be spending the afternoon with her…getting to know her. So I can reiterate what I find out from her to you. And if nothing comes of this more then friendship between us, then there ya go."
I mulled over his words and only nodded a goodbye when I felt him pat me on the shoulder. After awhile I made my way back up to my room and threw my balcony doors open. I noticed lights on in the back room of the Swan house…but didn't really think much of it.
I couldn't help the pacing back and forth as Jasper's words began to run more smoothly through my mind.
I can learn more about her without getting too close to her. I'm not breaking my rules.
After twenty minutes more of pacing, I decided my game plan.
Depending on Jas' afternoon with her tomorrow would set this whole thing into motion.
I went to sleep that night with chocolate, brown eyes in my dreams.
--
Jasper called to say that she was going to meet him at McCoy's. I was kind of surprised since that was our place and that she was the Chief's daughter.
Without really realizing it, I made my way over to the bar around noon knowing that he would be there getting an early start on his alcohol consumption.
Just as I thought, he was sitting in his usual corner. Jasper had more to him then meets the eye; he was a smart businessman that seemed to go to waste a lot of the time
"Hey man, whatcha up to?" I asked taking the seat next to him.
"Reading e-mails. Remember that horse I invested in last year?" he asked.
I nodded in response.
"Well I guess the training is about complete and they are going to start racing him next year."
We talked for a little more before he mentioned that Bella would probably be there soon. I took that as my exit to leave.
Before walking towards the door though, I turned and called Jasper's name.
"Remember what I said about her. Don't push it if it isn't anymore then friends. Seriously," I mumbled.
"Whatever man. No promises."
"Don't fuck her up Jas. Or I will return the favor."
He kind of looked taken aback from my threat. I never threatened him.
"Alright…warning loud and clear sir!" he mock-saluted me.
I raced home without looking back at the place that usually felt like a haven.
--
Later that night, after getting back from Jake's house Esme informed me we were having dinner guests. I texted Jasper to tell him to come over for dinner and then quickly shoved my phone back in my jeans. I made my way through Carlisle's study to the back of the house. I noticed that Alice and another person were down at the grill area talking. All of the sudden Alice ran back up the path, leaving the stranger alone to look around. Just as I was about to head up to my room for a quick smoke she turned her head and I immediately knew who it was.
Bella.
Bella fucking Swan was at my house.
I didn't seem to have any control over my feet as I quietly opened the back door and stepped out into the cooling night. Before I knew it I was standing not even five feet from her.
Before I could stop myself, I spoke. "It's pretty impressive, huh?"
I didn't realize that she didn't have any idea that she was no longer alone. A feminine gasp escaped her lips before she whirled around, almost falling over in the process.
"Yeah, it's pretty extraordinary," she finally said after an immeasurable moment of suspense.
Fuck. The sound of her voice went straight to my groin. I had to hear it again. "Do you remember me?" I asked, lighting up a cigarette.
"Yes. Edward Cullen. I have heard your name thrown around a few times since I have gotten back," she mumbled.
Unintentially I moved closer to her, intrigued by her responses. "Oh really? And what did you hear?"
"That I should stay away from you."
A chuckle escaped my throat the same time I exhaled the smoke. "Then I guess you should listen to them." I am lying…even though it would be better if you stayed away. For more then one reason.
Suddenly we weren't alone anymore. My sister was back.
"Oh hey Edward. What are you doing out here?" Alice asked curiously.
"Keeping Bella here company," I answered automatically while looking just passed Bella. I could talk more coherently when I wasn't looking directly at her.
"How hospitable of you. I supposed there is a first for everything," Alice said sarcastically.
"Mhmm," was all I said.
"Esme said that dinner was ready, so let's get up there. Rosalie just arrived." She pulled Bella away from me, up towards the house.
"Aren't you coming?" Bella asked.
"Soon enough." And if I have it my way…you will be too gorgeous.
God I am a pervert.
I watched as they made there way back up the hill. Her ass looked amazing in the jeans that looked painted on. I hadn't gotten a good look at the rest of her before because I was too busy staring at her face. Her neck had been elegant against her dark hair, ivory skin and pony-tail. I couldn't help imagining how it would feel to nuzzle the area.
I heard a motorcycle coming up the drive and quickly made my way around the house. Jasper was just shutting off the engine by the time I came into view.
"How did it go?" I asked without greeting him.
"Wouldn't you like to know…" he said cryptically.
I bunched my fists at my sides and lead the way into the house. Everybody was already seated and I was closely tempted to sit beside Bella. Jasper decided that for me though as he nudged me towards the other side next to Rosalie.
Throughout dinner I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. She was shy in the right areas and assertive in others. She was different then the other girls around here; not fake and slutty…but smart and classically beautiful.
What the hell Cullen? Since when do you throw around the words 'classically' and 'beautiful' in your everyday vocabulary?
At one point Jasper threw his arm around her chair, most likely not even doing it on purpose. But even if that was the case, my eyes were glued to that arm like white on rice. I wanted that to be my arm. Nobody, not even my right hand man, deserved to touch her.
I noticed that I had been caught staring at her when she suddenly made eye contact. I silently willed her to read my mind…to put me at ease that nothing had happened between them. She blushed under my stare and turned her attention back to Alice.
That blush…holy shit.
After dinner was done, Alice and Bella offered to help Esme with the dishes. Jasper and I ran back upstairs where I rounded on him.
"Well?" I prompted.
"Chill. We talked, she is smart…not some ditzy chick. I kissed her…" he trailed off, waiting for me to stomach it.
"You what?" I yelled.
"I kissed her. But you need to calm down so I can tell you the rest."
I took several deep breaths before he continued.
"No spark…nothing. She is a phenomenal kisser, but I don't hold anything more then platonic feelings for her. And even though I could have easily just fucked her, she is better then that. But just so you know...she is hiding someting. The despair coming off her at times was suffocating."
We sat in silence for a moment.
Nothing was going to happen between them. She was in the clear. But what did I want to do about it?
"Let's go for a short ride before calling it a night. You need to unwind a little," Jasper interrupted my musings.
I nodded and we made our way downstairs. I looked into the dining room as Bella turned her back to me to walk back into the kitchen. I got the best view of her ass and a dose of her scent.
Her fucking scent.
Jasper pulled me along and we said goodbye to a horny Emmett and Rosalie after she reprimanded us for not wearing helmets.
As I started my bike and followed Jasper off of our property…I couldn't get her scent off of my mind.
She smelled like a mix between strawberries and vanilla.
What the hell was I going to do?
--
A/N: Phew…that was a long one. So what did you think? I want to jump him. Please review!
Edward's bike: http://www(dot)hd4sale(dot)com/pages/Detailed/6440(dot)html – just replace the (dot) with the real thing.