'Ah, ah, Ichi.. Ichigo…!' Rukia breathed out, struggling to keep in control of her body's earnest response to being impaled on him. His hands tightened their hold on her hips, holding her in place as he thrust into her harder. She leaned forward, her hands pressed against his chest as he continued his pounding from beneath her.

'Look at me.'

She did as she was told, peering at him from half-lidded eyes. He gasped inwardly as she graced him with her lust-glazed gaze, pitch-black hair contrasting her alabaster skin, soft breasts swaying with her body as he plunged into her again and again. A smile formed on her swollen lips when his jaw practically dropped, his movements turning needy and unrhythmic.

'Fuck, yes.' she threw her head back and sighed loudly, saliva trailing down from her mouth to her neck. Lost in their lovemaking, her tongue hung out slightly and her knuckles turned white as she gripped the sheets with all her strength. The whole time, Ichigo watched her writhe and squirm. Pride saturated his heart with the knowledge that it was all because of him. All this uncontrollable pleasure was because of him. She was wet and horny for his cock.

Keeping her eyes on him, her nails raked down his torso; starting from his hard pectorals, down his impressive abs, finally resting on the provocative V leading down to his groin. She licked her lips as she watched his taut skin ripple with every movement of his muscles, highlighting his masculinity. And she was fucking him. She was sliding up and down his erection, giving him pleasure.

She felt strong, beautiful.

'Rukia.' he whispered, grunting as he quickened his pace.

'Oh, oh. Ichigo, fuck me harder.'

He obeys her, his fingers digging into her waist as he brings her down forcefully. He screws her harder, deeper, like he was trying to break her. Her ecstasy is now accompanied by the pain of him reaching further inside of her, hitting her end and stretching the most untouched of her insides. He worries for a while, but brushes it off when he hears how much she enjoys his rough treatment.

'Yes, yes!'

'Rukia, fuck. You feel so good.'

A throaty scream tore through her when she came, squeezing him like a vice and triggering his own climax. He pulled out of her, kissing her wetly as his milky essence soiled his abdomen. She returned his kiss for a moment, but broke away to travel downwards and take his softening cock in her mouth. He jerked at the warm feeling, but did nothing to discourage her. His eyes shut as she continued to bob her head up and down his entire length until he went limp. Thinking it was over, he reached down to pull her towards him, but her small tongue was lapping at the cum on his stomach.

Such a dirty girl.

Just seeing her lick at him like that sent a tight heat to his groin.

'That can't taste very good.' he cleared his throat awkwardly.

'Hm?' she looked up at him as casually as if he had just called her name from across the street. 'You taste good. In fact, I want more of you.'

Before he could respond, she took him back into her greedy mouth, promptly snapping his teeth down on his lower lip. His eyes shut in bliss, his fingers roaming through her jet-black hair. He felt her struggle with his increasing girth. His abdomen felt like it was on fire when she gagged. Hesitantly, he thrust upwards, earning a strangled groan from her. She sucked harder on him in approval.

He plunged himself deep into her throat, gasping hotly when he saw her eyes roll back. It seemed as if her orgasm had done nothing to alleviate her heat. She sucked on him mercilessly, and he couldn't believe how much of him she could fit inside of her. Alarmed when she gagged, his arousal grew rapidly when she took more of him, as if trying to tell him she wanted to choke on him.

'Are you OK, baby?'

She didn't answer, but her shameless eyes twinkling as her cheeks hollowed in time with his thrusts told him all he needed to know. His biceps jerked, his fingers running through her hair shakily. He swept her bangs away to see her face more clearly, and he thought he would meet his end when he was hit by how beautiful she was.

'R-Rukia...' his legs were twitching and he tried to push her face away gently. She moaned in protest to what he was trying to do. Her cold hands move from his thighs to his balls, kneading them expertly. Her eyelids closed, her eyebrows knitting together in enjoyment as more of him spilled into her waiting tongue. Of course, she swallowed all that he gave.

'Rukia.' his voice was strained. She didn't even give him time to come back from his high before traveling up his body towards his neck, kissing him everywhere.

'Mmhm.'

'Rukia, s-stop.'

She listened, but flashed him a look of irritation. He almost laughed at that. Instead, he pulled her up her arms to plant a chaste kiss on her swollen lips. She stared at him, a quizzical expression on her face. As if she were confused by the gesture. He smiled and held her closer, sharing their warmth. It was a moment of pure connection.

But she just couldn't handle it.

'Get changed.' Rukia suggested, getting off of him to get dressed. 'I don't think it would be a good idea if Nii-sama caught us.'

'Are you really still going to hide me from him?'

'Not really. I'll have to explain the bunny, don't I?' she shrugged, pointing at the small animal napping on the floor.

'I guess.'

'Don't worry about it.'

Now he felt rejected by her. Perhaps nothing had changed. Maybe he really didn't imagine anything. He pondered her attitude towards as he watched her clothe herself. She was so cold, completely shutting him out of everything. He remembered why he had snapped. Being with her was like walking down an endless road. Ultimately, there was nothing.

And the sex. She was always so quick to jump to the sex and he was always weak enough to go with it. When she opened the gates for him, he thought they would head to the dining room and have a frightening conversation. Instead, she led him to her bedroom and pulled him into a sweet, poisonous kiss. Touching her was like forbidden fruit; if he even got a taste, he'd want to see it through the end.

She was always so good at it too. His blood started to boil when he thought about how she was bent over a school desk with Grimmjow sticking himself inside of her. Or what about just a few days ago, when he thought she wanted to reconcile yet he found her swapping flavour with that same jerk. What about the other times they messed around and he just wasn't able to catch them at it? Maybe even while they were seeing each other, having lunch, fucking... Was she fucking that freak too?

Truthfully, his temper was about to fire right then. But he decided before coming over that he would not lose his shit in front of her. Not after he fucked her like she was some slut.

'Rukia.' he called lowly. 'About the last time we..'

'Forget it.' she waved it off, but inside her heartbeat was echoing in her eardrums. She didn't want him to bring it up. Actually, she was dreading it. Somehow, she hoped that acting like nothing had happened and throwing him into passionate fires would either erase it from his memory or he'd get the hint and just drop it and carry on as normal.

'It's about what you said.'

'I say a lot of things.'

'Before I left. You said that you-'

'I wasn't myself.' she insisted. 'You were mad at me, and I didn't want you to be. I was trying to calm you down. I like you, but... Love is a strong emotion.'

'Really?' he sounded disappointed.

'Really.' she lied.

'Rukia.' he walked towards her and reached for her hand. 'I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't been so harsh with you. I'm such an asshole. I really am serious about you.'

Her heart fluttered. She never doubted that for a second. It was because he was serious about her that she knew he had become aggressive. He was like a beaten dog who wanted a bite at her for beating him. That was why she forgave him so easily.

'Rukia, where do we stand?'

'What?'

'Where do we stand? I like you so much. So, so much. It just feels like it isn't really working. What do we have to do?'

I'll do anything, she wanted to say. He was perfect, she was the problem. She had no idea how to negotiate relationships, and they had become so unappealing to her over the course of time. Especially when her brother was trying to shove one down her throat. Relationships to her were like transactions; a virgin in exchange for some cash.

Men didn't love. At least, she didn't believe they did. Mr. Jeagerjaquez had betrayed his wife. Her Nii-sama wouldn't even come home for Hisana's funeral. All her potential suitors just wanted access to the Kuchiki name.

But Ichigo loved. He didn't need to say it. He loved with all his heart. She could feel it. At least, he made her feel that way. She knew she was the one who was being difficult. Skeptical in the beginning, she was now wiling to do absolutely anything if it meant he would be happy with her. She'd stop seeing Grimmjow, she'd stand up to her brother, anything!

Now how could she say that without being too easy?

A thick silence fell between the two for a few seconds. It was only for a short while, but the dense air was suffocating. Rukia thought about taking it back and admitting that she was madly, undeniably head over heels for him, but he spoke up first. 'I'm going to London after this semester.'

Her sapphire eyes dulled and went blank as she heard her soul shattering.

'What...?'

'London.' he repeated, cupping her face. 'I'm going to London.'

She searched his eyes for any sign that he was joking, but he was dead serious. She felt tears prickle her vision, but she bravely fought them back. One semester left with this man? A couple of months! That was absurd! She loved him. He was the only one who took away her heavy guilt, who changed her world, took the pain away. Being with him was like believing in heaven again. How could she let him go? She couldn't. She wouldn't.

'That's good news!' she exclaimed and his jaw dropped in surprise. He certainly wasn't expecting that reaction. 'You fool! Why do you look so sad?'

'I...' That was indeed a good question. Why was he so upset and nervous about telling her? 'I didn't expect you to take it so well.'

'Why wouldn't I take it well? This is good.'

'I know, but...'

'First of all, wipe that wimpy look of your face.' she punched his arm half-playfully. 'Don't tell me you're having second thoughts.'

'I'm not. It's just scary.'

'Of course it is. But if nothing scared you, there would also be nothing to look forward to, don't you think?'

He nodded, smiling inwardly. Why was he so worried? Of course she'd be supportive of him. Of course she would be happy for him. This was a wonderful blessing. There was no question in that he had to seize it. It was like a dream he never had had come true. He never entertained the thought of being in this position. But now that it was being offered to him, he realized that he had to do it for himself. He could experience the world from a completely different lens.

The powerlessness he lived with ever since his mother's passing suddenly alleviated a little. He knew he could do something now. He would come back a changed man, a good man. He'd come back for her, for his family, for his friends. He'd become someone and protect all of them.

'Rukia... Thank you.'

For the following week, Ichigo skipped school entirely. The motivated teen locked himself away in his room, studying contemporary English and reading about the history of the United Kingdom. He skimmed through online ads for apartment rentals, not realizing that his dormitory expenses were accounted for by his scholarship. When his father pointed it out, he breathed a sigh of relief and continued with his studies.

In this time, he had not been able to see Rukia. It wasn't that he was purposely avoiding her. There was just so much going on in his mind, so many thoughts racing through his head, that she wasn't exactly a priority at the moment. Besides, he was sure she would understand. Out of everyone, she was the most supportive of all.

When he finally went to class, she acted like nothing was wrong - he completely bought it. They chatted, bickered, ate together, kissed on the rooftop; he thought they were more connected than ever. She, on the other hand, wanted to reciprocate those feelings. However, it was hard with his impending departure on the back of her mind constantly.

Don't get attached.

'Ichigo..!' she moaned whenever he enters her.

He's not forever.

'Mm...' against his mouth when he kisses her softly.

Don't love him too much.

'You've completely changed my world.' he would always say during the aftermath, his hands enveloping her securely.

They never said the magical three words.

It was almost like they were frightened; of it, of each other. Words have power, and they feared that if they laid their souls out that they would never be able to leave one another. Commitment. That was hard. At first, that was all Ichigo wanted from her - but now he could feel the sheer weight of it. It was a big thing. What if he couldn't be the person she needed or deserved?

Still, he'd often ask her about it. He would say it in passing, in a way that was so off-handed that she couldn't read too much into it. It was a joke. But jokes are often half-meant.

'Do you love me yet, Rukia?' he groaned whenever she came.

'You fool.' she would always say, wrapping her arms around him and never wanting to let him go.

After quite some time, Rukia started acting strangely. She'd come into school dazed. Ichigo would try and make conversation with her, but she'd brush him off and fall asleep on the desk. That confused him. He guessed that maybe she was tired. Perhaps she was fighting with her brother again?

But this behaviour carried onto the next week. And the week after that. It was unbearable. She suddenly had no interest in him whatsoever. He'd try and eat with her, but she would never be hungry. Suddenly, she had no opinion or particular feelings about anything. And Rukia Kuchiki always had something to say. This was so out of character for her.

He asked if he did something wrong. She chuckled and told him he was being ridiculous. Yet this weird conduct of hers persisted. He decided not to probe too far into it. He had more important things to worry about. There were simply too many things to learn, organize... He also had to connect with the people entering his year group. He was never one to try and make friends, but decided it was probably a good idea in this case. It wasn't very smart to enter unknown territory without some allies. Plus, with his orange hair, he was bound to make some enemies.

'She's avoiding you.'

'Maybe she's just busy. Finals are coming up.'

'You've obviously bored her.'

'She needs space.'

'Maybe she prefers Grimmjow.'

His friends were not helping. They were as useless to him as frozen peas, with about the same amount of insight into his predicament. Something inside of him thought it was temporary, but she had been that way for weeks. He couldn't think of anything he did wrong.

Maybe he just wasn't good enough for her.

His anxiety returns, but his resolve to make the most out of his scholarship has never been stronger.

He'd come back and convince her he was right for her.

But right now... Right now, she could wait. All the emotional, mental torment it took to try and figure her out and make her happy was not worth his future. He had to do what was best for himself.

A week before he left, she avoided him altogether. She even transferred classes.

He texted her, asking if she wanted to see him before he left.

No response.

He called her. He rang the doorbell, only for Byakuya to have Renji escort him away.

No response.

'Don't you miss her?' Keigo asked cautiously during lunch of their last day of senior year.

'Of course not.' he lied.

'Enjoying your purchases?' he sneered, stroking the side of her face. She was so nervous that she didn't even feel his fingers on her skin. All she could do was look up at those sky-blue eyes, allowing herself to be hypnotized by his piercing stare.

'They make me tired.' Rukia replied honestly. 'You're a horrible dealer.'

'Well, I thought you were off drugs so I don't save the best stuff for you anymore.' Grimmjow grinned. 'What got you back onto them? You were clean for a while.'

'My boyfriend's leaving.' she pushed him away when he leaned in too close. 'I need something to help me cope.'

Huh?

'Boyfriend?'

'Yes.'

'Who the fuck is that?'

'Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki.'

He narrowed his eyes. Why did she sound so proud saying that name? And also... Happy?

'That guy wouldn't be into you at all.'

'You're obviously wrong.'

'No way! He's so conservative.'

'So?'

'So, just look at you! You're a fucking mess.'

'I hate you.' she threw her payment at him. 'But I don't have time for you. I need to go.'

'Where to?' he pouted. His rough fingers caressed her lips as he spoke. A dejected pang hit him when she immediately pulled away, glaring daggers at him. 'I thought we could play.'

'Of course we can't.' she rolled her eyes. Months. It had been a couple of months now since they last shared any form of intimacy, and he was still trying to get into her pants. It was ridiculous. It wasn't like he had no one else - there were countless others! It was so frustrating to have him pick on her all the time.

'Well? Where are you off to?'

'I want to see Ichigo before he leaves. His flight is tonight.'

He raised his eyebrows when he saw her eyes glaze over. He almost felt bad for her.

'He might love you, but he won't ever understand you.' he reasoned, unbuttoning his shirt. 'Not the way I do.'

'What are you doing?'

'He doesn't live on the dark side of the moon like us.' he takes a step towards her, she backs up onto the wall.

'Please... don't.'

'He'll never know what it feels like.' he kisses down her neck with his hands undoing her shirt, squeezing her soft breasts before kneeling down so that his face rested on her abdomen. She can feel his moist breath against her skin and she loathes how it makes her wet. 'He'll never know what it's like to live like you're dead.'

'Grimmjow...!'

'So really, he can't ever truly love you.'

'Fuck!' she screams when he pulls her panties to the side to give her slit a languid lick.

'Not like this.'

'P-please.' she begged, but she melted when his hands reached up to knead her breasts. He stood up and lifted her by the thighs, propping her up on the desk. She turned her back to him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her so exposed. Unfazed by her attempt at modesty, he held her down by pressing down on the back of her head before soaking two fingers in his saliva and plunging them inside of her.

'Grimmjow!' she cried out, instantly hoping that Ichigo wouldn't see them.

'Kurosaki can't be serious about a used whore.'

'I'm... N-no different from you!' she spat back, her hips instinctively sliding with his fingers. He laughed at her evident arousal, letting go of her head to spank her behind. She moaned and he laughed maniacally. He knew she liked that.

'But I'm a man.'

'That doesn't mean anything. Ah!' he spanked her harder.

'Oh, but it does.' he flips her over, withdrawing his digits so that he could cup her face with both hands. He leaned into her so close, she could feel his alcohol-scented breath on her chin. 'I can do whatever the fuck I want. You, on the other hand...'

'Get away from me.'

'You can't move without dragging the Kuchiki name along with it. You've got to be pure, virginal, clean.'

'Grimmjow!' she screeched he started unbuckling his pants.

'And we all know how much of a dirty hussy you are.'

She slapped him across the face. Hard.

He wasn't even angry. His face stayed in its position, leaning away from her in the direction she had hit him. Her chest rose and fell angrily, her hands trembling from the unadulterated rage she was feeling. How dare he. How dare he act like he was above her when they were the exact same. How dare he talk to her like that, after being the singularly most mind-numbing source of pain in her entire life.

Grimmjow was like a bad omen. Everything and anything that had to do with him brought a sense of horror to her. Truth be told, she had never been as scared of him as she was this very instant.

When he finally turned to face her, her heart skipped a beat. He looked terrifying.

'Do you want me to fuck you raw?'

Before she could respond, he buried himself to the hilt. She cried out in pained pleasure, but he did nothing to slow his pace. Her head fell to the curve of his neck, her hands gripping his shoulders so hard he hissed in pain.

But he liked pain.

'I can feel everything.' he hissed triumphantly, slamming into her noisily. Despite her earlier protests, she was surprisingly sticky around him. Not like he was complaining. It bothered her more than it did him.

Ichigo.

For the longest time, Rukia kept still. She just let him have his way. She thought about many things; Mr. Jeagerjaquez, Hisana, her Nii-sama... But mostly she thought about Ichigo. She thought about all the wonderful things about to happen to him. She thought about all the interesting new things he was going to learn, the beautiful exotic places he was going to see, the people he was going to be friends with - the beautiful women he was going to meet.

He deserved better.

She thought she could pull away from him to make it hurt less. It didn't help at all. It still stung, she could still feel her heart bloating as the time for him to leave drew closer. Now she wished she hadn't been so foolish. She wished she spent more time with him. She wished she didn't try and distance herself. She wished she didn't try to control how she felt. It was impossible with him - he could make her heart explode into a million emotions she would never be able to describe.

She wished he wouldn't go.

But...

She wrapped her arms around the man on top of her, pulling him closer.

He's really leaving.

'Fuck, fuck, you're fucking tight.'

He's really going.

Her pelvis moves to meet his each and every thrust.

I wont... see him again.

'I think I should give this whore what she's been waiting for.' he breathed jaggedly. She didn't even realize what was happening. Staring at him with eyes wide open, tears fell down her cheeks. He felt no sympathy. The slut deserved it.

She tried to push against him to back away, but he grabbed her by the waist and held her in place. She squirmed and struggled with all her strength, but he slapped her and choked her with a deadly grip, another arm remaining constricted around her waist like a snake. 'No!' she cried out when she felt the first spurt enter her violently. He laughed at her reaction, grinding himself against her, pushing himself against her inner walls. She convulsed, her lithe body trembling as he filled her with his seed.

Shamefully, she gave into him and allowed herself her own release. He growled when he felt the familiar tremors of her orgasm, pulling out of her so that he could slither downwards and taste them together. Finally.

'Please.' she begs, but he silences her with his mouth, making her taste the proof of their depravity.

'How could he love you?' he laughed in her face. 'How, when you cum on another man's dick?'

'I hate you.' she whispered, staring up at him with the deepest nothingness in her eyes.

'You can't even help it! It's just who you are. You're just a cheap whore.'

'But I love him.' she revealed, tears flooding out the corners of her eyes. 'And I know he loves me.'

'No one could ever love...' he whispered in a surprisingly gentle tone. A long finger lifted her face up by the chin so he could stare into her beautiful blue words. Unlike hers, his was cold and shallow. Like the light had completely left him. '... monsters like us.'

There was no way she was going to see Ichigo without taking a shower first. She knew she would have to catch him at the airport rather than his home, but there was absolutely no way she would let him see her so... dirty.

She dressed herself in a hurry, ordering Renji to prepare a driver and car. She didn't even care if her brother would find out - actually, he most definitely would. But whatever! Time was of the essence. There was no room for anything less than a hurry from her.

'Going somewhere?' Byakuya demanded, opening the door to her room.

'You know exactly where.' Rukia answered her brother, slipping her shoes in a rush.

'Why do you like that boy? He isn't good enough, Rukia.'

'You don't get to decide that.'

'I told you not to see him anymore.'

'And I told you to come home when I needed you, but you taught me that I don't have to comply to any requests.'

'Why are you always so difficult?'

'Me?' she laughed dryly. 'I'm the one being difficult? You're the one who's forcing me try and date some old man for money!'

'It is not for money.' he corrected. 'It's insurance for your life. So that when I'm not around, you-'

'I what? I can remain in some cage?'

Some cage? Byakuya always thought his sister was highly intelligent, but he was now starting to question that. Did she really feel like he was imprisoning her? Well, what a luxurious cage he could offer her then! It wasn't easy providing a big house with maids, guards, and bloody drivers awaiting their next order. Yep, some cage she was in. Like she was some blasted royal bird.

'I'm going to pardon your ungrateful demeanour in light of your lover finally blessing us with his departure.' he said cooly. 'I've ordered the driver not to ready the car. You're rash, you're not thinking. Stay put. Such needless emotions are unbecoming of a Kuchiki.'

'What is wrong with you?!' she hissed, and his eyes widened at the tone in her voice. She had never spoken to him like that. Not ever. 'Why are you dictating my life?'

'I know what's best for you.'

'You don't even know me.' she walked towards him, no longer intimidated by his presence. 'You're too scared to know me.'

'Preposterous.'

'You're the only one being ridiculous here!'

'With an attitude like that.' he raised his brows. 'You'll never find a proper suitor.'

'I don't like stable, boring, oldies.' she taunted him proudly. 'I like young, sexy men with broad shoulders who can make me moan his name when I cum on his big, thick-'

The poor girl didn't even know what hit her. Suddenly, she found her head had snapped to the side. The sting of his hand came afterwards. As if her body was in so much shock that he slapped her, it numbed the pain for a second.

'You disgust me.'

'The feeling is mutual.' she muttered, fighting back tears as she headed out the door.

A/N: Thank you so much everyone for the overwhelming response I received last chapter! I was so pleasantly surprised by your reviews and PMs! It made me so incredibly happy.

I always want my stories to be sort of a collaboration between myself and you guys. Quite a few people wanted me to form a love triangle between Ichigo, Rukia, and Grimmjow. This request started a few chapters ago really. All this increased interaction between Grimmjow and Rukia was not my intention at the beginning. Although it wasn't in my original plan, I will now be incorporating more of that into this fic. This fic wouldn't exist without all of you, so I do try to really listen to what you want. And if possible, I do make the changes. And if Grimmjow is what you want, I will most definitely write him in!

Of course, this fic will remain IchiRuki.

This chapter was very Rukia-centric. I wanted to focus on her emotions, the buildup to her finally snapping. I tried to balance the chapter between Rukia and Ichigo, but it just became too long. And a bit much. I promise a lot more Ichigo next chapter!

Thank you to mansi12, Carupin, anoyak11, RukiYuki, Shirayuki992, ZIRS, achalida, GenesisVentura, AmAzingggg, FunnyEasyMe, and all the guest reviewers! Especially to the Guest who took the time to review every chapter - thank you so much!

RukiYuki, I wish I could tell you without spoiling it! I'm afraid I cannot answer your question without giving too much away. I hope that the outcome will not disappoint you.

AmAzingggg, I will definitely try and get them up as fast as I can! I hope it is not too much of a wait.

Thank you again so much everyone, I am so endlessly grateful for all of you! I will never tire of telling you that!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!