Disclaimer: As chapter 0ne; so please, for the love of God, do not make me keep writing it out people!

WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES (though not too graphic) SO READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.

All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

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ELEMENTS

Chapter Seven – Lucan & Lancelot

The following morning Ember opened her eyes to see a small boy with curly hair watching her from a stool by the bed; she smiled "hello Lucan."

His eyes widened "you know me?"

"I know you have suffered very greatly, but Destiny has taken pity on you and you are now with a very good man."

The boy grinned and she returned it "he is, is he not?"

"Aye, now how can I help you? Do you ail?" she pulled herself into a sitting position.

"Nay I ail not, I only wished to thank you for bringing him back to me."

She beamed "you are most welcome – he would have been a sad loss to you as he is such a good man. But there is more to your visit I think."

"Aye; I…..I worry for him."

"You think he will die again?"

"Aye….I could not lose him a second time my lady…"

"Em, call me Em – for as I am your……..Dagonet's friend then I can be yours, if you are agreeable?"

He thought for a moment "aye, I see no malice in you."

"Oh there is – there is much malice in me, but only for those that do evil to innocents."

He nodded "ah but in their case it is deserved."

She reached out and ruffled his hair "you are wise beyond your years." Then she smiled at him "So what can I do to help you fret less for your Dagonet?"

"Can you….protect him? Stop him dying in some way?"

"I give you my solemn vow that I will do all I can to ensure he does not perish before his time again. But even I cannot defy destiny" she sighed sadly "it is too painful to do so……"

His small hand touched her arm, his voice full of concern "you suffered greatly?"

"Aye, but it was a time ago now; I have to look forward and not ever back – I exasperate even Merlin with my grief."

"Did you lose much?"

"Aye, I lost all – everything that ever mattered to me is gone. All I have now is myself."

"But Tristan and Galahad say you are sister to them – they are tied to you."

She smiled and stroked his cheek as he spoke so earnestly to her "I hope you never learn the loneliness of being with people who care, and yet still feel utterly alone because those that you want most are not where you can hold them."

"Is that how you feel?"

"Aye, most of the time" she sighed "I should not be so ungrateful because, just a short time ago, I was reviled by many and liked by none. Now I have friends, brothers – I should be happy with my lot."

"But you long for more?"

"I long for death….."

Lancelot stepped in "then why torture others in the same way you yourself are tortured?"

"I torture you not. I only did as I was bid."

"Without reason; you brought me back, tore me from those I loved and for what? To go to a town that was already dead!"

"That is not why you are here, why I was forced to return also."

He moved over to her and she laid her arms by her side "Kill me, I will not stop you."

"Why should I; why should I grant you the peace I am denied!" he glared at her "I am not like you! I would not have done what you did!"

"Nay? What of the village where Lucan came from?" she spoke softly still, which made his rage all the more alarming to the child "You told Guinevere you would have left her and the boy – you would have left them all to face the Saxons, knowing it meant their certain death…..all those people."

"How do you know that!" he growled "you cannot know that."

"It matters not" she sighed "You say you are not like me, but you are and that is what frightens you most Lancelot – you are as much fire as I."

Lucan stepped forward "you are a bad man! What fault did I commit to thee! I…..I who called you friend, and loved you! You would have left us, left us for those who commit such evil to kill! Yet you condemn her?!" he spat on the floor in the front the knight "you are worse than aught she could be!"

"Nay, nay Lucan – nay, you know not of what you speak, he was a soldier, he thought as a soldier."

"Nay Em, Arthur and Dagonet would not have left me; I know that full well."

"Nay, they would not, but the others would; it was what they did." She shook her head "but do not judge Lancelot harshly now; you have not traversed beyond the veil as we have, you have not been torn from those you love as we have – forced back into a world that you abhor."

Lancelot fell to his knees by the bed "I hate you; I hate you for taking me from them! I hate that I cannot sleep, I cannot eat properly; I do not wish to even think! I hate this world, I hate every breath I take!" he beat his fists on the coverlet.

Lucan ran for Dagonet, he feared the knight before him had finally lost his reason and would harm the lady.

Ember put out a hand to his shoulder "I understand Lancelot, I do – I am sorry to cause you such pain, I am sorry for aught ill luck you think I have dealt you."

He rose furious and haunted eyes to her "I had much reason not to return - much…….reason to stay beyond the veil; why would you snatch my noble death from me, to replace it once more with this contemptible existence?"

"Nay, Lancelot – you judge yourself too harshly. I know of what you speak, and I know too you would never dishonour your brother and your kinship to him with such a base betrayal."

"You know me better than I know myself then Woad!" he spat.

"Lancelot you are a good man, a good man with a solid heart at his core. I cannot lie; I do it so badly I would cause much mirth in my village. I lied to save one I loved and I failed him because I lacked the skill, and he perished because of it.

So believe me when I tell you that you are good, kind and decent. But even if you do not, I know it and believe it; and all your brothers know it and believe it also."

"I cannot! I cannot believe what I know in my heart is a lie!" he turned anguished hate filled eyes to her, but she did not flinch "how can I be good if I hate you so much!"

"I only know what I know Lancelot – I know that you are good and decent, with a kind heart. Mayhap it is because you are so anguished in your hate at being separated from those you love, the worry that you might betray one you consider kin, that I know it to be true." She sighed "hate me if you must, but I will never forsake you."

He snatched her hand to his chest, laid his head on the little bed and sobbed……….

0-0-0-0-0

Dagonet stood with Lucan at the door; he looked at the boy "and yet folk call her demon." He sighed as he moved away "we will leave them yet a while, he will not harm her and I know full well how Em is capable of taking care of herself."

"Are you sure father?" the boy was anxious and agitated, and just then realised what he had said "I….I am sorry Dagonet, I did not mean any disrespect….I…it is only…."

Dag grinned at the boy and hoisted him into his arms, hugging him tightly for a moment before regarding him "Nay lad, nay – I am honoured and happy you would think me such to you. Nay if you wish to call me that, I am happy – more than happy for it." But even as he spoke, Ember's words came back to him "Lucan will be much to you; one day he will call you father."

He shook his head 'she was right, once again she was right – she was a rare one and no mistake.' "Come….son, let us go get us some food and then return – they may yet have buried the axe."

"So long as it is not in her, as I like her a lot." Lucan stared worriedly over his father's shoulder into the room.

Dagonet chuckled "worry not boy, that will never happen; she would not allow it and neither would I, nor any of the other knights."

Her sisters looked down at the scene "She is too soft!" Storm fumed "I would box Lancelot's ears for saying such cruel words to her!"

Eartha chuckled "mayhap that is why you are the one still here."

Rain smiled "she is doing what she should – he is not a bad man…..but even so I think a visit is in order sisters."

The others nodded but Eartha warned Storm "but do not scare him to death Storry, that would defeat the object of his return."

Storm sulked "you spoil all my fun!"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

A while later Merlin entered with the babe, Ember held out her free arm "I was told she was for me" She sighed with a sad smile.

Merlin rolled his eyes "those girls steal all my thunder."

"Aye, well consider it payment for stealing me."

He smiled "how fares he?" he indicated the sleeping Lancelot, his head resting on the bed, still clutching her other arm.

"He will fare well when he wakes……but I am unsure how will deal with me."

The old man nodded "you know what is to come?"

"Aye."

"You know why?"

"Destiny thinks you would follow the same path I did, and would refuse to aid her in this."

"She is right, it is hard for me to see this path followed – I had hoped all this would change it."

"Nay it has not – all is still as it was." They both sighed "Rain said dark days approached…."

"She is not wrong."

Ember smiled "she rarely is; it can be….annoying."

"Who will aid you with the babe?"

She sighed and looked heavenward "you ask then who I favour?"

He smiled "your sisters nagged you whilst you tarried beyond the veil?"

"Nagging would imply they mentioned it only, when it actual fact it was almost all they spoke of."

"You miss them still?"

"Aye – and yet I miss them still. I would welcome naught but harsh words forever from their lips, if they crossed that threshold yonder in the flesh."

"You understand the boy's grief then." He nodded to the dark knight.

"Aye, and I will make it worse will I not?"

"For a time – many will suffer for a time." He paused…..

"I know not, before you ask again, I know not who I favour."

"You must favour one…"

"So I keep being told; but if I do not love one, I do not – I know love cannot be forced."

"Nay child it cannot – but do not dither long over who to choose."

Lancelot raised his head from the bed, red eyed and pale he blearily looked around "Merlin?"

"Aye?"

"Why am I so hateful?" he sighed.

Merlin looked to Ember "I will let the maid before you answer such a question." He left them, closing the door in his wake.

Arthur stood outside "is he so tortured?"

"Aye" the shaman nodded "she will either help him heal or he will be the cause of both their destruction."

"Why?" Arthur called as the old man walked away.

"Because she knows of what he longs for and she longs for the same – she would not let him travel alone."

"To where?"

"The land beyond – death."

Arthur stood open-mouthed and went to seek Tristan and Galahad…..

Guinevere watched from a doorway, her mouth set in a thin line.