A/N: I will now attempt to explain my actions over the past few months.
When I last posted it was a couple of weeks before my finals. Then after my finals, I decided to take summer school. I'm an art major so my classes require a lot of sleepless hours dedicated to trying to make something beautiful. After summer school was over I hit a minor writer's block. Then I had to do a bunch of crap because I'm transferring to a University. Then I had roommate issue (they have been effectively resolved). Then I moved to a new apartment. Then I finished this chapter.
So the moral is: I'm sorry for making you all wait. Here's a long chapter for you :)
As always: Read, Ponder, and enjoy.
June 17, 2010
Quinn blinked her eyes open and closed them immediately when the bright florescent lights threatened to blind her. Her head throbbed. Her throat was scratchy. That tinge of nausea in her stomach told her that she was probably dehydrated as all hell. She groaned.
This didn't suck any less the second time around.
"Quinn?"
Quinn cracked her eyes open and looked to her right at her sister. Abigail smiled from her spot next to her on the hospital bed that was raised up only slightly. She noticed that the younger girl was lying on her stomach and Quinn kept her eyes away from her back which, she remembered, was still covered in angry red welts and some painful cuts from the metal buckle on Daddy's belt. Instead, Quinn stared into the relieving, calm, blue and tried to smile back.
"Hi," her voice was scratchy and rough.
"Hello to you, Quinn," she chirped in a low voice. Her eyes drifted up to a spot above Quinn's left eye and she frowned. "Are you in pain?"
Quinn nodded her head, which was a mistake as the throbbing only increased.
Abigail reached to the left of her and handed Quinn a paper cup of water (Quinn noticed, with a wave of relief, a Brita next to a whole stack of paper cups) before reaching around her and pressing the call button. "The doctor told me to buzz him when you finally woke up."
She drank from the cup and closed her eyes and sighed. She hated the fucking hospital. "How long was I out?"
Abigail hummed and bopped her head in contemplation. "A little over twenty four hours. I was worried."
Quinn opened her eyes again to look at Abby. She was thankful that her sister's smile was ever present. Someone needed to look on the bright side: that she was awake and mostly fine, and ignore the fact that it was their father that put her in hospital in the first place. Quinn, however, couldn't do that.
"I was worried, too," she whispered. Abigail's smile slowly dropped from her face and she looked down at her hands. "What happened between you and Daddy?"
Abby fidgeted. She was scared. She looked behind them to see if anyone was coming to the room before shyly glancing back at Quinn. It was strange. She cleared her throat and spoke quietly, "I kissed Sarah yesterday. At my culmination. And you know how her parents are. She told them I kissed her and they called and told Daddy. He wasn't happy."
"Oh," Quinn whispered. It had shocked her the first time. Shocked her and relieved her. She wasn't the only one in this family. She wasn't an outcast. Yippee.
"Do you like her?"
Abigail blushed and sort of covered her cheeks with her hands, "I don't know," she said quietly, "I just – we were hugging and celebrating our survival from that hell and she looked so happy and I just wanted to kiss her. So I did. I guess I . . . had feelings for her – but any lingering feelings for her has since passed as it would seem that she's a little closed minded and look where that's landed us. Is that . . .," she glanced nervously at her older sister, "Is that okay?"
Quinn smiled at the shy girl. If she didn't feel like her body was tied to the hospital bed, she would've hugged her. Instead she settled for grabbing her hand.
"If you're happy, that's all that matters."
Abigail immediately brightened, bouncing lightly on the bed as she beamed. She knocked her head lovingly against Quinn's shoulder and pulled back to look at her, her eyes shining knowingly. "You know, I would say the same for you, Quinn."
Quinn stared. Damn Abigail and her ability to read her as if she was a giant, glowing billboard. Damn her for actually paying attention to Quinn's life. Damn the person that was walking towards her room right now, effectively ending their conversation, because she really could use a shoulder to cry on. She squeezed Abigail's hand, hoping to convey her desperate need for the comfort that only her sister could provide her with.
"Later, Abby."
The younger girl gave her a soft smile and nodded just as the door opened. A doctor, whose name escapes her, walked in with a clipboard in his hand. His face was blurred and his voice was muddled, like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons, but she still remembered the gist of what he was saying. She had a pretty bad concussion. A nasty scar. Stitches. Some tissue that had to be repaired. Amazingly, her skull remained intact (which prompted hard-headed jokes from her sisters for weeks) even though it was terribly bruised and still throbbed rather painfully. There was pain medication she wouldn't use except for right now. She had to be careful for a while. Get a lot of rest.
Karma, as it turned out, can be swift and deadly in its execution.
The doctor turned to Abigail and she remembered that he told her the welts should go down by tomorrow and the scars, if cared for, can be gone by the end of the month. He said she got off the easiest, considering the state that Quinn was in. The cheerleader smiled faintly. That was all she wanted. For Abigail to finally get off easy.
She was filled with such glee at that.
After a few questions and some follow-my-finger tests the doctor turned to leave. The door opened before he got there and he never even broke his stride. Just a polite nod to the visitor as he sidestepped her. Quinn's eyes brightened at the sight of the short brunette. There she is.
"Nora!" Abigail squealed, and stood up to hurry over to Rachel and pulled her into a hug. Rachel closed her eyes and was mindful to wrap her arms around the excited blonde's neck, avoiding the welts and cuts on her back. Even from her spot on the bed, Quinn could see the tears gathering in the corner of Rachel's eyes. She placed a kiss on Abigail's head and squeezed her arms before pulling back to look into her face.
"Oh, Abby," she whispered, "It's so good to see you."
"As it is to see you," Abigail smiled and pulled her to the bed, "When did you get into town?"
"Um," Rachel looked to Quinn for help when she stopped next to her and the blonde smiled tiredly.
"Last night," she answered quietly.
Rachel turned back to Abigail with a nod, "Last night. I would've come sooner, but I needed a little breather before I came to deal with . . . all of this."
Abigail smiled in understanding and climbed back on top of the hospital bed, lying on her stomach, "Did you talk to mom?"
Quinn nodded and Rachel answered, "Yes. She should be here soon."
"Does she know what happened?" Abigail was quiet and nervous again. It was obvious that Rachel found it a little off putting as well.
Quinn nodded again and Rachel answered, "Yes."
"Was she . . . disappointed?" was whispered.
Quinn shook her head, but Rachel didn't even look and answered, "Never."
Abigail was beside herself with relief and elation, bouncing on her stomach, shaking the bed with her happiness. Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand, turning her attention to her.
"Are you disappointed?" she asked quietly.
Rachel's eyes drifted to the stitches in Quinn's head.
"No," she whispered as she, very gently, brushed the hair away from the scar, "I'm not disappointed."
Quinn gave her a small smile and closed her eyes, tired and delirious from the medicine coursing through her veins.
"You should be."
"Why?" Rachel kept her voice low as she pulled up a chair next to the bed, still clasping Quinn's hand in hers, "We all make mistakes, Quinn."
Quinn turned her head and opened her eyes to look at her girlfriend, unleashing the tears that had built up behind her eyelids.
"I'm so tired of making mistakes."
Rachel smiled at her and carefully wiped the tears from Quinn's face. Always the strong one. "You learn from them. That's why we make them in the first place."
Quinn shook her head, "I'm not sure I can," she whispered, gripping onto the small hand, "What if I don't remember any of this in the morning?
Rachel frowned and interlaced their fingers. She didn't have anything to say because Quinn was right in worrying. Quinn knew that she was right. The blonde gave her a sad smile and leaned into Rachel's hand that had begun caressing her cheek.
"You're not a monster, Quinn."
Quinn snapped her eyes to Rachel. Rachel kept her eyes trained on her hand that was tracing the blonde's cheek.
"I know that you think you would've ended up breaking my heart eventually because that's what happened in your past and that's why you pushed me away, but you wouldn't have. You know you wouldn't have." Rachel tightened her grip on Quinn's hand, her eyes still averted. "If only you would have talked to me – told me about your fear of taking care of someone else's heart, I could have given you space. I would've given you more time. I could've helped you. I would have in a heartbeat. And you know it or I wouldn't be saying it now."
The tears were gathering in Quinn's eyes and she made no move to wipe them as they began to trail down her cheeks. The memory was beginning to fade around her, ready to move on to the next one; the generic pictures that hung on the walls were turning white and her bubbly sister had already disappeared. But if there was a perfect time to receive forgiveness that at the very least can alleviate some guilt from her conscience, it was now, in the hospital bed after the shittiest day of her life.
"I know," Quinn's voice cracked, but she powered through, "I know. I'm so sorry, Rach. I can't apologize enough. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I came to my senses before you went and got this done. I wish I never pushed you away in the first place." She leaned back against the pillows and sighed. The medication was starting to make her drowsy, but she fought it. She had to fight it. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to make it better. I want to wake up next to you forever. I want us to get married. I want us to have kids."
This wasn't the ideal place for Quinn to confess these things, but the smile on Rachel's face made it completely worth it. Besides, that medication was making her drowsy as hell. The diva laid her head down on the pillow next to Quinn's.
"I want that too, baby," she whispered as she ran her fingers through the still soft blonde hair.
"Do you think we can still do that?" Quinn lifted her hand caressed Rachel's cheek in return as it got progressively harder for her to keep her eyes open. "You don't remember me anymore. It wouldn't be right."
"It doesn't matter," Rachel said firmly, personifying that small, confident part in Quinn's mind. Her eyes finally connected with the foggy hazel ones, "If this works, then when you wake up tomorrow morning, you will, at least, know who I am. You'll find me and tell me all about us, okay? You'll tell me all about yourself and you'll be honest. And I will be waiting because you know I'm miserable without you. And we can start over."
Quinn's eyes drooped for a second before snapping open and she shook her head softly.
"How do you know that?"
"Because," she smiled, "we're forever."
Quinn stared at her girlfriend and let a small smile creep onto her face. Always the optimist. "I really wish I could kiss you right now," she mumbled, staring at the plump lips.
Rachel chuckled and leaned forward to place a kiss on Quinn's head.
"I love you," she whispered against the pale skin.
"I love you too, baby."
Quinn shuffled over and pulled Rachel's hand until she lied down on the hospital bed with her. She turned on her side and placed her head on Rachel's shoulder, burrowing her face into the crook of the diva's neck (being very mindful of her injury) and threw an arm over her waist. She closed her eyes and let the memory change with a content smile on her face.
Karen and Mitchell rushed to clean the apartment of all the beer bottles and wine glasses before their boss arrived and scolded them for drinking on the job. They put away the cards and just as they were fixing the blankets around Quinn, there was a knock on the door. The two siblings glanced nervously at each other before Mitchell decided to bite the bullet and walked slowly to the front door to let Dr. Cohen in. A wave of relief washed over him when he saw the smile on the doctor's face.
"Alrighty," Tim chirped happily and walked in as if this was part of his normal daily routine, "what do you have for me tonight?"
Mitch gave him a small, hesitant smile and led him to the bedroom, "We've tried everything that we can think of, but we can't find her."
Tim nodded his head as he glanced admiringly at the art on the walls. "Amazing," he whispered, his eyes trained on the large painting of emotional ink splatters as he dropped his bag on the floor by the bed. "Yes, it is a rather difficult process. Thank you for calling me instead of just 'winging' it, as they say. Hello, Karen."
"Hi, Tim," Karen greeted from the chair in front of the computer. "How are you tonight?"
"I'm good, I'm good," he smiled as he grabbed his laptop from his bag and sat down next to her, "I had planned a long night at the office to get ahead on some of the filing before the holidays, but I would much rather be doing this to be honest." He chuckled and reached around to plug a few cords into his own computer.
Mitchell and Karen shared a bemused glance; it was almost one in the morning and they're calling him for help once again. But here he was, smiling and pretty much thanking them.
A strange man their boss was.
"Okay, okay, okay," the doctor whispered to himself as he began the search for Quinn.
After a few moments, he frowned. "Actually, this is uh . . . a little different." He punched in a few keys, opened up a couple of extra windows and even though the siblings were watching him carefully over his shoulder, they still had no fucking idea what the hell he was doing. Tim chuckled and shook his head. "These girls, I don't know how they do it. This is a bit more difficult than her partner's, but I think I can still fix it. She should be around here . . . somewhere." Finally, he straightened up with a smile when the telltale green dot that pinpointed where Quinn was in her brain showed back up on the map.
"Ah, there she is," he tapped the lone dot on the screen. "Completely off the map. I wonder what she's doing there."
June 29, 2010
Quinn lied back on the couch and closed her eyes. They were moving. Her mom filed for divorce pretty much right after she got the phone call from the hospital. Judy wanted to take them back to Lima which, if Quinn was honest, was just fine. There was nothing here for her anymore (with the exception of Maxine and Nora). The bad memories that surrounded her were suffocating and a reminder still throbbed above her left eye. The bruise had spread, giving her a nice shiner that was at least starting to fade, and the stitches just made the scar look scarier than it already was. They were to be taken out the day after they arrived in Lima. At least that will be the only bad memory that she would have to carry with her to Ohio other than, of course, the actual memories. Even her belongings (that she wasn't allowed to pack herself because she was too fragile or something like that) were packed away in boxes that were meant to hardly be opened if ever. Pictures of her friends and family, along with a bunch of her other things, were in boxes labeled 'stuff', while all of her cheerleading memorabilia were in boxes labeled 'storage' and they surrounded her in the living room, along with everyone else's crap. There's really nothing like leaving behind your worries.
Or running away from your problems. Whichever helps you sleep at night.
Whatever the case, her sisters and Judy had everything packed and the next day would be their flight out to the good old town of Lima (most of their belongings would be flown out later in the week). She hadn't seen her father for days and the one time she actually saw him, he was signing divorce papers at the house. She kept a good distance away from him and made sure Abigail wasn't even at home at the time. The only thing she would be getting from him from now on was money that would go towards college. And she could deal with that. At least her mother made a name for herself, not to mention a splendid amount of money as the director of the local art gallery (something Daddy hated with a devil's passion) and she was already talking about opening her own gallery in Lima. It would seem that her mother had been on the cusp of divorcing her husband all along; hitting her daughters just tipped the scales completely. She didn't seem broken up at all about it. No one seemed broken up about it. Not even Nora. . .
Speak of the devil.
She opened her eyes at the feeling of someone lifting her legs and laying them over their lap. She looked at Nora and Nora smiled at her. Her nonchalance to the whole situation was the most surprising. Judy had probably been abused for far longer than either of them, Abigail was always living on the bright side, and Quinn couldn't remember a time where she even liked her father. Nora, however, was Daddy's little girl. Never talked back. Never broke his rules. Straight A student. Valedictorian. Full ride to Santa Barbara. Set the bar far too high for Abigail and Quinn to even dream about reaching. It was actually fucking annoying. Their relationship was always strained, at least until Nora left for college.
But when Nora heard the news of what happened, she turned a completely different leaf in Quinn's eyes. When the eldest daughter came home to find Russel signing divorce papers at the dining room table, Quinn could hear the fierce slap and angry shouts– I can't believe you! How dare you even fucking think of showing your face here! – coming from her usually obedient sister ringing throughout the house all the way upstairs to her bedroom. And when Nora saw Quinn after her release from the hospital, she pulled her into one of the strongest hugs she'd ever received (and she lived with Abigail. That's saying something). She would later tell Quinn that she only ever strived to be the best, to be what their father wanted because it was the easiest way to avoid trouble and the fastest way to get out from under his thumb. It was a very welcomed surprise.
"Hey," she whispered.
"Hey," Nora smiled, "how're you feeling?"
Quinn shrugged. "Tired. Fine. You?"
Nora rolled her eyes, "Your sister is bouncing off the walls and driving me fucking crazy."
"This probably isn't where you want to be then," Quinn chuckled, closing her eyes again, "You just so happen to be in the middle of Fort Harry. Lieutenant Abigail should be back in a bit."
Nora glanced around at the boxes that were piled high and surrounded her, and scrunched up her nose in slight annoyance. Sitting in the middle of the floor in front of the couch was Harry, the stuffed teddy lion.
"Is she bothering you?" Nora asked, knowing how active Abigail can be in her make believes.
Quinn shook her head with a smile, "Not at all."
Even though Abigail had an affinity for making forts anyway with anything she could, Quinn knew this was saying more than just traditional fun. This was her way of protecting Quinn. She had reiterated several times that Abigail wasn't and shouldn't be blamed for the actions of their father, but she knew, deep down inside, Abigail felt very guilty. So if this was a way to ease Abigail's mind, then she'd gladly play along.
The door bell rang and quick, excited footsteps made their way down the stairs. Quinn and Nora watched as Abigail jumped the last five steps, slid precariously on the hard wood floor and put her hands up just in time to keep from running face first into the front door.
"Abigail," Nora chastised, "will you please be careful."
"Fuck off my tip!"
Nora physically recoiled from the words, flabbergasted. She turned to Quinn for an explanation but the girl just giggled. Nora rolled her eyes, with just a hint of a small smile, and pushed Quinn's legs from her lap.
"I'm not related to her," she mumbled before standing up and walking away towards the kitchen.
Quinn turned her attention back to the door, her body still shaking from her laughter and smiled brightly when Abigail came back into the living room with Rachel trailing behind her. The diva, clad in Max's favorite faded Rugby shirt and a pair of running shorts, and – thank God –wire-rimmed glasses, beamed at her and made a beeline for the couch. Abigail waved her arm at Rachel.
"A bespectacled being has come knocking on our door," she said before looking around and frowned, "Where's Nora?"
Quinn lifted her head up so she could lay it on Rachel's lap. "The kitchen. I think you hurt her feelings."
Abigail pouted and made her way over to the kitchen, "Nora! Come back, I love you!"
Rachel chuckled as she ran her fingers gently through Quinn's hair. Quinn closed her eyes; the soothing caress from her girlfriend's fingers along with the playful bickering coming from her sisters in the kitchen were quickly lulling her to sleep.
"Your sister is very special."
Quinn smiled and nodded her head. "I love her for it."
Rachel hummed. "I love her for it, too."
Quinn opened eyes and looked into the brown orbs above. Rachel looked fine; she was smiling and relaxed. But her eyes were sad and even if it was only a little bit, it still broke her heart. The blonde reached up and grabbed the hand that was raking her hair and interlaced their fingers.
"How are you feeling?"
Rachel quirked a smile because she should've been the one to ask that question, but she answered it anyway. "I'm fine. There is an underlying sadness, but I can assure you that it is not mine."
"It's Max's," Quinn explained, "She was pretty upset that I was leaving. We would have spent all of today crying and watching movies and reminiscing about our younger years."
"That's really cute," Rachel chuckled softly. "I'm sorry she's not here so that you could spend your last day with her again. I'm sure it was really special."
"It was." Quinn grinned. "But it's okay. I like having you here."
And for a moment they were just staring at each other with dopey, love-sick smiles and shining bright eyes. Quinn could do this forever, wanted to do this forever. But then her attention was stripped from the warm brown eyes by the silence that had settled around them.
It wasn't right, fuck, it wasn't right at all.
She sat up a little, not missing the frown that marred Rachel's face, and looked over the back of the couch towards the kitchen where her sisters should have been talking, but weren't. They were gone. And when the pictures on the walls turned white and her mother's precious flowers began to disintegrate before her eyes she gripped the back of the couch hard and her eyes widened.
"Shit! Fuck, Rach they found us," she rushed out shaking her head. She turned back to Rachel, "We need to lea– "
And Rachel was gone, too. She dropped her hand down on the empty space on the couch. Cold to the touch. She gritted her teeth, didn't bother with her tears that were falling down her cheeks, and shot to her feet. Her head was throbbing from the panic and the rush that went through her brain when she stood up was enough to send her to her knees. It's not real, she tried to tell herself, you are in no pain. You're fine, you're fucking fine! You have to get up. You have to get Rachel.
"Rachel," she whimpered out as she forced herself to watch the scene fade around her. She closed her eyes, "Please. . ."
And then she was gone as well.
The three technicians all let out a sigh of relief when the green dot showed back up on the correct scan. Tim leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"I will be staying the rest of the night," he informed his two employees, "People who fall off the map once tend to fall off of it again and again. It's a very tricky process and this is not a jab at either of your skills, but I would feel much better about Ms. Fabray's health if I were to do it myself. You understand?"
They both nodded and Tim gave them a bright smile.
"Fantastic!" He clapped his hands and turned back to the computer, "Now, who has a beer for me?"
January 12, 2013
Quinn sat up in her chair and gasped. Her heart was racing so fast, she placed a hand over it to keep it from running out of her chest. She looked down at her lap to find her sketchbook opened to an unfinished drawing of the apartments and tress that she can see outside of the window that she was facing. She smiled; she loved this window. It was the one aspect of the whole apartment that sold her on it. She looked back down at her drawing and sighed happily as her heart settled. She gripped the pencil that was in her hand and pulled it across the slightly rough parchment, completing the roof of the apartments across the street. She's drawn this view several times, in several mediums, and loved every single one.
The front door opened and Quinn smiled, but didn't move from her slightly bent over position. Keys were dropped onto the dining table and a bag was discarded on the floor by the couch. Small hands grabbed her shoulders and gently pulled her to lean against the back of the armchair (another favorite of hers) that she was sitting in. The stretch of her back and the cushion of the chair felt fantastic after hours of sitting hunched over a sketchbook. Quinn closed her eyes and sighed as a gentle kiss was placed on the top of her head.
"You are going to hurt your back if you keep sitting like that."
The blonde chuckled, "That's the price I must pay to be a brilliant artist."
"Oh, hush."
Rachel walked to the front of her (careful not to knock over the tin can of colored pencils on the floor), picked up the sketchbook and sat down on Quinn's lap so her back was against the tall armrest. She laid the drawing carefully in her own lap before wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck and pulling her down for a gentle kiss. They pulled back and smiled at each other.
"Hey you."
"Hey, baby," Quinn whispered, placing a kiss on the brunette's cheek."How was work?"
"Soothing," Rachel smiled. The funny thing was she was serious. Nothing could calm her down more than a good book. And it couldn't be a Kindle or a Nook or whatever-the-fuck; she needed to be able to feel the pages – to smell them. Sometimes, when Rachel was far too energized for an exhausted Quinn, the blonde would place a bunch of books around the room and start reading. Then she'd watch as Rachel would settle down next to her and the copious amounts of literature would start to work as a sedative to the small diva. It was fascinating.
And Rachel working at a book store? Like Santa Clause on Xanax.
"And what did you do today?"
Quinn blushed slightly and looked down at the drawing in Rachel's lap. Rachel looked as well. "That's the third one."
Rachel flipped back and, yes, there were two other drawings of the exact same view. One in ink. Conté. Colored pencil. All today. She really did love that window. Rachel traced her fingers over the one in pencil, an easy smile on her face. "Is this your favorite thing to draw?"
Quinn arched an eyebrow, "You mean other than you, of course?"
"Of course."
The blond giggled before biting her lip and shrugging.
"I suppose. It's just calming. Like . . . singing your favorite song. I never have nothing to draw because I can sit here and draw this for hours." Clearly not an exaggeration.
They stared at the drawing in silence as Rachel began to hum the opening notes to "Don't Rain on My Parade" making Quinn smile. She leaned down and placed a kiss on the brunette's cheek, letting her lips hover just over her skin. Rachel smirked and turned her head to connect their lips in a slow dance of tongues and moans. They eventually paused for air once their lungs started to burn. Rachel's hand found itself in Quinn's hair, keeping her hovered an inch over her lips. Quinn bumped their noses together.
"I'm going to hurt my back leaning over you like this."
Rachel growled and nipped playfully at the lips above her own.
"You know I despise it when people use my own words against me."
Quinn smirked and crashed their lips together, stealing her girlfriend's breath right out of her lungs. Quinn pulled back and grew a little bit cocky at the dazed look on Rachel's face.
"But it's hot when I do it, huh?"
Rachel shook her head, still staring at Quinn's lips.
"N-no, no it's not," she licked her lips, "It's . . . ugly."'
Quinn laughed and pecked Rachel on the lips. She reached over to move the sketchbook from Rachel's lap so they could move this flirty game to the bedroom. Just as she was about to it lean against the window she noticed that the drawing seemed to be . . . moving. She pulled away from Rachel to get a closer look and dropped the book like white hot coal.
"Shit!"
It was erasing itself. It was like rewinding a video of the drawing being made and, under the suffocating panic, she could feel the indignation bubbling up in her for all of her lost hard work.
"Quinn?"
Quinn looked at Rachel and felt the blood leave her face when she found her practically transparent.
"No!" she wanted to shout but it came out a strained cry. She wrapped her arms around Rachel and pulled her close. When she felt Rachel's hands cling desperately to the back of her shirt she almost cried in relief, but couldn't waste time. Using the strength she required from the grueling hours of cheerleading and soccer practice, she stood up with Rachel in her arms bridal style and hurried away from the window. Her feet stumbled around and kicked the can on the floor, sending colored pencils rolling along the hardwood only to wink out of sight. She set Rachel down and they watched as the chair disappeared and the buildings outside began to crumble.
Christ, they forgot. How could they forget?
Quinn clasped their hands together and pulled Rachel to the front door and out of the apartment. Doors slammed opened as they ran past them in the seemingly endless hallway and caught glimpses of more happy moments between her and Rachel. Conversations swirled around them mixed with laughter and moans that actually made her blush. Breakfast dates. Lunch dates. Dinner dates. Christmas. Thanksgiving. Halloween. College parties. The first day of school. Unpacking. The drive to New York. Packing. The grip only tightened on Rachel's hand because she knew Rachel would love to stop and watch every single one of them.
"Oh my God, Quinn," Rachel whispered behind her in wonder.
Quinn ignored her and watched the many memories as carefully as she could as she ran past them. It was working before, like a fucking charm. She just needed something deeper than that. That was too recent. An older memory. Focusfocusfocusfocusfocus.
Quinn skidded to a halt outside of a door and actually smiled at the scene. She glanced down the hall as the hundreds of doors that she already streaked past began to close. She pulled Rachel into the apartment and let the door shut after them.
Tim shook his head when the green dot winked out of sight. He rubbed at his chin and took a sip of his beer.
"I believe that Ms. Fabray has figured out the process."
Mitchell and Karen shared an uneasy look. They had no idea what that meant at all.
"Is that bad?" Karen asked.
Tim sighed and began slowly typing away.
"I don't know yet."
"Tina, you really don't have to walk with me," Rachel whispered, turning to look at the girl who had been walking silently beside her for the past couple of hours, "I don't even know where I'm going."
Tina smiled. She honestly didn't mind the walk. She walked everywhere when she lived in Lima and did so as often as possible when in New York, "Aren't those the best kinds of walks though?" Besides, it gave her time to think.
"They're my favorite," Rachel said, looking down at her feet with a soft smile. She cleared her throat, "It's almost two in the morning. I know you and Mike have work, date night, and packing tomorrow. I don't want to keep you."
"Rachel, you have a flight to catch in the morning," Tina chuckled as she shook her head, "As a matter of fact, your plane leaves in about six hours. You need sleep."
Rachel smiled again, but it didn't reach her eyes and kicked a rock down the sidewalk.
"I don't think I'll be going to sleep," she waved her hand around her head, "There's too much going on in here tonight."
Tina frowned; that worried her, "Are you sure? Even if you don't, it's not safe walking around here so late. "
"I'm sure, but you are right, I should probably get back home" she answered quietly and stopped walking. She looked around her, finally taking the time to study her surroundings. They had walked in a big figure eight and were back by the park, just a block away. She looked up at the apartment buildings across the street from her and tilted her head. There was a strange feeling on this street; her sixth sense was going haywire and the feeling of déjà vu was almost overwhelming. She never needed to go on this street to get anywhere she needed to be so she's never really had the chance to take the time and observe it. It was nice.
"What street is this?" she asked Tina, who had been watching her.
Tina looked around and noticed, with a dropping heart, that they had stopped across the street and a couple of buildings down from Quinn's apartment. She tried to school her features to hide the anxiety that was bubbling up in her gut. The lights in Quinn's living room and bedroom were on and the shutters were closed, but she still needed to be careful standing out here when Rachel's with her. That would bring up a lot of questions she really didn't want to answer. She cleared her throat and looked to Rachel. "52nd Street."
Rachel looked up and down the street and sighed. It was quiet, but still close to stores and restaurants that she could actually eat at. She began walking slowly down the street towards her own apartment. They'd have to pass Quinn's. Tina bit her lip; risky, it was very risky. "It's nice. I would've loved to live here."
Tina nodded her head as she kept an eye on Quinn's bedroom window. "It's quiet here."
"Do you know someone who lives over here?"
Tina snapped her eyes away from the window to the cars on the street when they were right across from Rachel's old apartment. She shook her head. "I used to."
As Rachel turned her head away from Quinn's place to observe the buildings that they were walking next to, Tina scanned the cars parked along the street. She could see the company's white van parked on the corner. They almost walked by it before Tina noticed her uncle's car. She almost did a double take, but didn't want to bring it to Rachel's attention. Why was he here? Was there something wrong with Quinn? She wanted desperately to go to the apartment and find out, but that was absolutely out of the question.
Instead she walked along with Rachel, a plan already starting to form in her head.
August 4, 2008
Quinn looked down the bluff that she stood at the top of. Sometimes she really loved Santa Monica. It could be so picturesque at the right places and times. She had brought many sketchbooks with her during her adventures with Max and whoever decided to join them. Max usually kept the other person entertained while she drew. She seemed to understand and accept that Quinn needed time to let out her creativity, something she wasn't allowed to do at home. Maxine couldn't stand to stay in the house all day so it worked out for the both of them. Even if it was just the two of them, Quinn would sit and draw and Maxine would lie next to her, sometimes talking but mostly content with just being outside.
Today, they would be joined by another and Quinn had decided that, because of their plans, she would leave the sketchbook at home, safely stored under her bed with the rest of them. She toed a rock off the bluff and watched it roll down to the bottom. Maxine should be showing up soon.
"Hey, connasse!"
Quinn smiled and turned around to face Max who already had her shirt off, displaying her navy blue bikini top and flat envy-inducing abs from their rigorous soccer training for the upcoming season. Her regular glasses hung from her owl necklace while her blue fake Ray Bans took up residence on her face. Quinn opened her arms wide for the shorter girl to walk into.
"Darling!"
Maxine grinned and wrapped her arms delicately around Quinn's neck, and kissed her on both cheeks, exaggerating the 'muah' sound. "Honey, it's so good to see you!"
Quinn giggled and gave her a firm hug before stepping over to the person joining them today, a brown haired Sam Evans. She smiled at him and she knew it wasn't as bright as it would have been on any other day, in any other month. This was the summer going into the first year of high school, the same time that Sam's family was moving away. They would be leaving at the end of the week. This was their last hoorah.
She wrapped her arms around Sam's torso and pulled him close.
"Hi," she mumbled into his chest and sighed when he wrapped his arms around her.
"Hello."
They stayed that way for only a short moment, trying to get past the dark side of the situation so they can enjoy their time together. Quinn had met Sam around the same time she had met Max; they were her first friends in California. And for all of middle school it was just the three of them, battling preteen angst and teen angst build up along with idiotic boys and girls. She really was going to miss that little bit of testosterone that Sam brought to their triangle.
"Christ, you guys," Max mumbled under her breath as she stepped in between them and dragged them towards the fenced off area of the bluffs that was partially hidden by low hanging trees, "Let's try saving the mushy shit for the end of the day, yeah?"
The fance blocked off a "trail" (the tippy top of the bluffs that was barely wide enough for someone to walk on) that followed the turns of the hill and ended out of sight. The three teenagers looked around to make sure the coast was clear before Sam hoisted himself over the gate and carefully onto the other side. Quinn draped her towel over her shoulder and climbed the fence, jumping to the ground where Sam was there to make sure she didn't fall. She turned around to do the same for Max before following Sam down the thin, twisting trail.
"You sure Mrs. Levi isn't home?" Sam asked after a moment of silence.
Quinn could feel Max lightly grip the back of her tank top; she wasn't a big fan of situations where you could potentially roll to your death.
"Yes, I'm sure Mrs. Levi isn't home. I wouldn't be cleaning her pool or feeding her yappity ass dog if she was here," Max said with an air of (mostly) playful annoyance, "She took the kiddies to Florida to visit some relatives for a couple of weeks."
The brunette threw a confused look over his shoulder. "If you're feeding her dog and cleaning her pool, don't you have a key or something? Couldn't we have just gone through the front door?"
"Wow, Sam, you know what?" she said mockingly, "I originally thought of that, but then decided that instead of the easy way, we will risk our lives on this godforsaken bluff just for shits and giggles."
Sam rolled his eyes, "Okay then, why are we going this way?"
"Because Mrs. Levi's bestfriends live next door and those old bitches won't hesitate to call her and tell her I'm bringing a hooligan and some two-bit hussy into her beautiful home. And then I won't get my 300 dollars."
Quinn reached behind her and grabbed Max's wrist and jerked her, making as if she was going to throw her off the bluff. Max's fingers instantly tightened on Quinn's top while her other hand grabbed the blonde's arm and she gave a surprised scream. Quinn stopped walking to laugh and Max's eyes (greener today) hardened over the rim of her glasses, but she couldn't keep the smile off of her face.
"Oh my God, Quinn. I would push you down this fucking shit if I wasn't afraid that the momentum would cause me to tumble after your fat ass."
Quinn just laughed at her again. Sam turned around to face the two girls and shook his head.
"And we couldn't go to Quinn's because . . . ?"
Max raised her eyebrow at Quinn and smirked. Quinn looked over at Sam and sighed, motioning for him to keep walking.
"My father's home from work today," Quinn grumbled as she looked back down at her feet to watch for potential tripping mechanisms, "He doesn't let boys use our pool unless they're family or he's hovering over us the entire time. I'd rather not deal with it."
Sam managed to roll his eyes with annoyance and sympathy as he ducked under a low hanging branch. "Where's Abby?"
"Went shopping with Nora."
"Ooh," the brunette shot a wink over his shoulder, "Maybe I should walk you home later so I can see Nora and say bye. I'm gonna miss her."
"Maybe you should keep that pencil in your pants. You don't want her to laugh at you, do you?"
Maxine guffawed and Sam threw puppy dog eyes over at Quinn with a grin.
"Come on, Quinn. I just want a hug. And a kiss on the cheek. Both of them." He was kidding; Quinn knew it (even though he really did think Nora was hot and didn't hesitate to mention it every chance he got). Usually it bothered her, but it was their last day, so she'd enjoy the banter.
"She's not into brunettes."
"Then I'll go blonde."
Max snorted. "If you go blonde I'll kick your ass."
As Sam laughed, the trail turned and revealed an open backyard with a large patio, complete with a fireplace and barbeque, a large uniquely shaped pool surrounded by loungers, and lots of beautiful green grass that dropped down into the bluffs. The entire backyard was surrounded by large trees, keeping it closed off from the neighbors directly next door, but not to the people who owned the homes situated along the bluffs across from them. All Quinn needed was a pair of binoculars and she could see what the family across the way was watching on their T.V in their living room because of their unnecessarily large windows.
"This is awesome!" Sam squealed and ran toward the pool, peeling off his shirt in the process. Quinn shook her head when Sam canon balled into the pool and headed over towards one of the lounge chairs.
"Quinn! What do you think you're doing?"
Quinn spun around on her heel and beamed happily at Rachel who stood there, shirtless, sunglasses pushed to the top of her head and her hands on her hips looking absolutely adorable. She skipped forward and stopped right in front of Rachel, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Hi, baby."
Rachel scoffed and crossed her arms, pointedly ignoring Sam's shouts of glee in the background.
"Don't you 'hi, baby' me! This is blatant trespassing!" she accused, waving her arm at the scene, "What if you were to get caught? You would've been arrested! It would have gone on your record! It could've prevented you from joining me in New York! And furthermore, it would– "
Quinn, smile brightening by the second, reached out and grabbed Rachel's hip, pulling her closer, effectively shutting her up. She glided her thumbs softly over her girlfriend's protruding hip bones and had to restrain herself from leaning in to steal a kiss. She was still technically Maxine. She had to remember that. Instead she brushed their noses together; a little thing that never failed to make Rachel smile. And she did.
"I'm happy to see you," she whispered, a hair away from Rachel's lips.
Rachel sighed and leaned their foreheads together, knowing that arguing with Quinn while she was in Quinn's head was absolutely moot. So she just settled for wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist and squeezing ever so slightly.
"I'm happy to see you too."
Then Quinn was grabbing her hand and leading her over to the loungers. She sat down on one while Rachel took the other. They undressed until they were just in their bikinis and lied back as they watched Sam do laps around the pool. Quinn looked over at Rachel and her mouth was instantly dry. My God, when did Maxine get that bikini? Godsend. Absolute godsend. She trailed her eyes all the way up the unbelievably long legs, past the forbidden fruit, along taunt abs, lingered on her chest, and scanned the scrumptious neck before settling on the knowing brown eyes that stared back at her from over the rim of blue sunglasses. Rachel smirked and gave her a saucy wink as she trailed her index finger down the valley of her breasts, down the flat stomach, to settle between her thighs, hidden from view by her bent knee. Rachel giggled.
Fucking giggled.
Quinn focused on that finger so hard, she was sure Rachel could feel the burn from her gaze. She gripped the armrests – That is not Rachel. It may look, feel, and sound like Rachel, okay, but that is Max. Maxine Alexandria Marroux. Your bitch of a best friend. You cannot kiss her. You cannot fuck her. You cannot – you look away from her hand right now, Quinn! Good girl – and focused her gaze on the sky above her. She let out a breath that trailed off in a chuckle. This woman was going to be the cause of a beautiful death for her.
"Fucking tease."
"Found her," Tim said, mostly to himself as he finished off his beer. "Even further off the map this time."
He pressed a few more buttons and the green dot showed up once again on the scan. He sat back and watched the motionless screen, thoughtfully rubbing at his chin. Karen and Mitchell watched him like he was Yoda, ready to give them some convoluted, life-saving advice.
"Has this ever happened before, Tim?"
"There have been cases where the process goes awry, but the reasons why are usually different," he answered casually, popping his knuckles. "I've never seen this happen before."
Then he chuckled.
"Honestly, it's pretty genius."
July 22, 2012
Quinn stared lazily at the clouds as she sat on the stairs of the patio in her backyard. She loved clouds. She could stare at them, draw them, and write about them all day. Now, at sunset, the clouds had taken on a red and purple hue and she hoped that when she recreated this later it would come out just as beautiful. She sighed and smiled; it was so peaceful out here.
"It's too gosh darn quiet out here."
Quinn managed to roll her eyes before a large husky nearly jumped on top of her in his excitement. She twisted her head away, avoiding most of the licks Luck tried to land on her face, as she patted him placidly on the head.
"Luck!" Abigail scolded softly as she walked over to them, "Calm yourself."
The dog gave one last lick to Quinn's cheek before going over to circle around Abigail's legs as she held up his rope toy in the air. The cheerleader raised an eyebrow and Luck immediately sat down at her feet. She smiled and scratched him under his chin.
"Good boy."
She threw the toy to the far corner of the backyard, which Luck chased hastily after, and sat down next to Quinn on the stairs. She laid her head on Quinn's shoulder and watched as Luck wrestled with the toy for a few moments before walking back towards them.
"Quinn?" she mumbled.
"Hmm?"
"You're such a loser."
Quinn chuckled and shrugged Abigail's head off of her shoulder with a small grin. Abigail laughed and hooked their arms together.
"I just kid, Quinnie. You know I think you're super cool," she said quietly, taking the rope toy from Luck and throwing it again. They sat in silence for a moment and after a couple of more throws, Abigail turned to look at Quinn, propping her chin on the artist's shoulder. "Are you worried about leaving?"
She was leaving for New York. In about a week. Oh yeah.
"I'm excited," Quinn answered as she took the toy from Luck this time and threw it.
Abigail smiled and patted Quinn on the head before laying hers back on her shoulder.
"I'm sure I will be worrying about you quite often, Quinn."
The artist smiled. "What? You think I can't take care of myself?"
Abigail stared in front of her silently. Then she shrugged. Quinn was affronted.
"Abigail!"
"No, no, no, not like that," Abigail chuckled as she took the toy from Luck, "Sure, in life you could be the alpha wolf, you know? You got that shit down to a tittle. I'm worried about that heart in your chest and that silly brain in your head."
Quinn, taken aback, arched an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Abigail sighed and turned her body to face her sister. She twirled the doggy toy between her fingers.
"Now, this could get quite serious, Quinn, but I took my Adderall today so it should go by with the least amount of distractions possible," Abigail beamed and Quinn felt a distinct sense of doom.
"Okay . . ." she said hesitantly.
Abigail placed a calming hand over Quinn's and glanced quickly at the sliding door to make sure they were alone. It was always easier to get Quinn to open up when it was just the two of them and what she was about to say might cause some hurt feelings, as much as Abigail hated it. But someone needed to be blunt.
Tact was a waste of time.
"Quinn, you know I love you," she said quietly, easing her in, "and I love the small one like a sister. I'd hate to see either of you hurt."
Quinn dropped her eyes from the almost regretful blue ones. The ones that always saw through her no matter how hard or how well she hid her emotions. She knew where she was getting at right from the start. It's not like she's never thought of it before. Abigail sighed, her voice dropping as it does during the rare times that she was serious.
And when she was, you listen.
"I will be the first to admit that I don't know Rachel as well as you know her. Gosh, even Amy knows her better than I. So what she would or could do is a thing shrouded in mystery for me." Abigail twisted her body around again to face the backyard. "But I know you, Quinn. I know how you think. I know how you feel. And I know that you know that, despite every unfortunate situation, you deserve and need that pretty girl named Rachel. Don't you?"
Quinn smiled. "I do. You tell me every chance you get."
"That's right," Abigail said airily, moving the rope toy away from Luck's persistent snout, "And I fear that you will forget that once I am no longer there to tell you."
Quinn clenched her jaw as she watched Abigail play tug o' war with the dog.
"How could I forget?"
"You forget all the time. I don't constantly remind you because it benefits me. I know you know it deep down inside, but there are just times where that obnoxious brain of yours has you believing otherwise," Abigail bit her lip, tearing her eyes away from Luck who was still trying to get his toy back to look at her sister sincerely. "I don't want you to forget. I'm worried that if you do, you won't ask for help or reassurance. You won't even think to get help because you won't believe that you'll need it. And I'm worried about what that will mean if it happens."
Quinn focused her eyes on her shoes, forcing the tears to stay in her body and not leak down her cheeks like they really wanted to. There she goes again. Reading her mind like some fucking psychic. What could she possibly say to that?
"Am I going to hurt her, Abby?"
If there was anyone who would know now, it was Abigail.
Abigail frowned at her sister's broken voice. "You don't have to." She laid her head back on Quinn's shoulder. "I can't tell the future, darling."
Quinn sniffed and wiped her eyes. She shook her head and actually chuckled.
"You could've fooled me."
She was sure that wasn't what was originally said, but nothing else seemed appropriate. Abigail called everything, practically verbatim, a year before it even happened. The atmosphere immediately shifted after that. Abigail noticed it. She beamed but tried to hide it against Quinn's shoulder. She nudged their shoulders together.
"I can just read people really well. You know that."
"Yeah. I know that," Quinn whispered, laying her head on top of her sisters. She looked back up at the clouds that were now nothing but dark shadows in the sky. She almost chuckled again. Even Mother Nature knew what she was feeling. It hurt a lot to hear her insecurities repeated back to her by her own sister. The nicer one, too. And contrary to what eventually happened to her relationship with Rachel, she actually did listen to Abigail. She applied those words to the best of her ability for a year. Then that one line. That one stupid line broke through her confidence because nothing is stronger than the memories contained in your brain. And everything went to shit.
"I wish I could've taken you with me," Quinn said into her sister's blond hair, "and kept you in my pocket at all times."
Abigail wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist, "Your pocket is too small. You'd just have to carry me on your back."
Quinn chuckled and placed a kiss on Abby's head. She would be so fucking lost if it wasn't for her. She wrapped her arms around the cheerleader's shoulders and pulled her into her side.
"Thanks, Abby."
Abigail smiled and leaned over to kiss Quinn on the cheek, tightening her hold around her waist just a little bit more.
"Quinn Fabray. You don't need me watching your back. You are the strongest, smartest, most caring and creative soul I know. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your sister and I'm 'supposed' to or whatever. I really believe it," she whispered as turned her head to smile at Luck who was tugging on the end of the rope toy that was still firmly in her grasp. "You just make mistakes sometimes. But instead of letting them help you, you allow them to make you miserable. "
Quinn sighed. "I know."
"You deserve to be happy."
"I know."
"Repítalo, por favor."
"I deserve to be happy," Quinn said, restraining an eye roll.
Abigail smiled. "And what makes you happy?"
"Rachel."
That didn't even need a moment of thought.
Abigail full on beamed, "The sunshine of your life."
"Forever," Quinn whispered to herself as she stared back up at the darkened sky and the stars that were just starting to shine bright. The sunshine to her life. Without it, her world will die.
And it did.
"Stop, Lucky, that's my rope toy," Abigail chided playfully as Luck's tugging became even more insistent. Luck stopped tugging and, after a hesitant moment, let go of the toy all together. He plopped down on his rump and whined, displaying legit 'puppy dog eyes' that humans can only dream of achieving. Abigail just giggled at him. "Okay, okay, it's your toy," she said and tossed the toy to the corner of the backyard. Luck chased after it, his tail wagging rapidly.
Quinn watched as Luck who had walked back up to them. Abigail held out her hand expectantly, but Luck took a step back instead. Abigail raised an eyebrow.
"Give me the toy, Luckster."
Luck growled at her and lowered his upper body to the ground, his tail wagging in the air. Abigail smirked and stood up with her hands on her hips.
"I will give you to the count three then I expect you to give me the rope, mister. One."
Luck shifted backwards some more when Abigail started walking down the patio stairs.
"Two."
Abigail approached Luck, who still looked ready to book it, his teeth clamped tight on the rope.
"Three."
For a moment, it looked as if Luck was actually about to drop the toy, but at the last second ran a few feet away with his tail wagging happily. Abigail crossed her arms and stared at the dog.
"Fine. You leave me no choice, sir. Prepare to meet your inevitable demise."
And she took off running towards Luck who immediately sprinted away, turning it into a good old fashioned game of chase. Quinn chuckled and entertained herself by cheering for Luck as he ducked and duped Abigail over and over again. When the back door slid open, Quinn twisted her head around and beamed at the two people, plus a cat, walking towards her.
"Hello."
Amy and Rachel smiled at her and waved. Jinx trotted forward and brushed her body against Quinn's, purring contentedly. Rachel sat down next to her, immediately cuddling into her side when Quinn threw an arm over her shoulder. Jinx walked over to Rachel and jumped onto her lap, curling into a ball. Amy passed by, patted Quinn on the head with a grin, and strolled over to where Abigail was hunched over, breathing heavily and playfully glaring at the still energetic husky. When she spotted Amy, she straightened up immediately only to collapse tiredly into the arms of her girlfriend, nearly knocking them over.
"You big goof," Amy reprimanded softly over the sound of Abby's giggles.
Quinn smiled at the scene before turning to Rachel who was watching them as well. She leaned over to kiss the side of her head, making Rachel tear her eyes away from the young loves.
"Hi," Quinn whispered.
"Hey you," Rachel greeted, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.
"What were you talking to Amy about?"
Rachel beamed, her body humming with excitement, "Amy wants to take Abigail out on a date."
Quinn was confused, "They've gone on hundreds of dates."
"Amy wants to take Abigail out on a date."
The artist's eyes widened. "Amy's never initiated a date before? They've been together for over a year!"
"She's initiated it once or twice, but out of the hundreds that they've gone on, that's practically never," Rachel said as the two of them watched Amy and Abigail still stuck in their embrace and talking quietly. "She just wanted it to be special. I gave her some advice. A little bit of encouragement. I think it'll be really romantic."
Quinn pouted. "Why didn't she ask me?"
"Because I'm the romantic one, silly."
"You're just the dramatic one. I'm the subtle romantic."
Rachel shrugged. "Dramatic romance is better."
Quinn chuckled but didn't argue. She loved Rachel's dramatic flair to everything, especially when it came to romance. It made everything just a little bit more magical. She stared into the sparkling eyes before her and couldn't resist the temptation to lean forward and kiss her. They kissed slowly, hardly any tongue. They just reveled in the comfort and electricity that sparked every time their lips touched. A happy squeal interrupted their moment and the two of them turned to see Abigail pick Amy up and twirl her around while Luck barked and wagged his tail, the rope toy on the ground and forgotten. In the middle of the third twirl, they all disappeared.
Quinn straightened up, her arm dropping from around Rachel's shoulders. When the trees began to vanish and the grass sunk rapidly back into the ground, Quinn stood up, grabbing Rachel's hand and pulled her with her, making Jinx fall to the floor with an indignant meow before she too disappeared. She dragged them out of the side gate and ran down the street towards their park.
She almost forgot again. Fuck, she needs to start remembering. She can't keep forgetting. She'll lose Rachel.
The houses they passed were replicas of their own. Rachel's house, then Quinn's house, then Rachel's house again. Over and over and over. Quinn could see through the windows in her peripherals. More memories of them, now during the summer. Dates, dinners, movie nights, games nights. All of them, displayed very briefly, before disappearing shortly after they ran past them. She needed a memory that was older, much older. Something hidden deep within the confines of her rattled brain.
She skidded to a halt when the houses before her began to wink out of sight. She glanced behind her at the other vanishing houses and could feel the panic bubble up in her. She was surrounded. Cornered.
"Quinn," Rachel whimpered softly next to her, moving her hands up to grip the blonde's arm.
Quinn pulled Rachel to face her and grabbed the back of her neck, touching their foreheads together. Their bodies were flushed against one another and Quinn settled her hands in Rachel's hair while Rachel settled hers on Quinn's hips. The artist closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Rachel made her calm. Rachel made her focus. She needed to do this. She had to keep Rachel.
She couldn't lose her again.
Tim sighed when the dot blinked out of sight yet again. He shook his head as the siblings watched him quietly.
"You can't hide, Quinn," he whispered under his breath, "You'll just end up hurting yourself."
April 3, 2002
When Quinn opened her eyes, she was met with a sight that she hadn't seen for years. She was at the vacation home in California that her parents owned, in the middle of her spring break. She looked down at her clothes and smiled wistfully at the flowery dress that covered her eight year old body (at least she was supposed to be eight, but she was sure she still looked like she was nineteen). She was barefoot, her sandals were kicked off beside her, and she let her feet rake through the grass of the hill she was lounging on. The view in front of her was of the lagoon that was at the bottom of the hill that the house sat upon. Sitting on the grass, surrounded by tall, bushy trees, were two people she didn't know. She always wanted to go down and sit by the water, but her parents never let her descend the hill, only look. And looking was something she enjoyed doing anyway.
The ocean was in the distance; a blurry blue line against the sky that was hidden behind the "island" that separated the huge body of water from the lagoon. The colors were striking and Quinn let her eyes scan the scenery in an attempt to remember every detail so she could go home and sketch it from memory later. She spent a lot of time looking at the clouds. They were really fluffy, like a bed in the heavens, and their shapes and colors were so captivating. She loved clouds. They always changed. They always moved. Her hand itched to replicate it. She wasn't a fantastic artist yet, but her teachers always said that she was extremely talented for her age. If only her father liked her hobby.
A body plopped down next to her and she turned to look, beaming happily.
"Rachel."
Rachel smiled at her as she toed off her sandals and laid her feet in the cool grass. She was wearing Abigail's favorite dress and Harry was sitting in her lap. She placed a small kiss on Quinn's cheek and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. She looked out at the view and smiled.
"I know this place."
Quinn grinned, "Do you?"
"Yes. You painted it," she said quietly, laying her head on Quinn's shoulder, "It's my favorite one."
The blonde chuckled, "They're all your favorite."
"You're my favorite."
Quinn bit her lip in an effort to dim the blinding smile on her face, but knew she wouldn't succeed. Rachel always had a way of making her smile. She lied down on her back, pulling Rachel with her. Their bodies immediately cuddled with one another: Quinn's arm around Rachel's shoulders with her other hand on her hip while Rachel wrapped her arms around her waist and tucked her head under Quinn's chin. Quinn sighed blissfully and closed her eyes. She'd have to take Rachel here for real one day.
"You're my favorite, too."
Tim crossed his arms when he finished getting that stubborn green dot to show back up on the monitor. He gave a sigh as he stretched his arms above his head. Karen, who sat in the armchair in the corner of Quinn's bedroom, looked up from her book.
"Did you find her, boss?"
"Yes I did," he said, cracking his neck as he pressed a few buttons, "I think I'm getting faster at this."
Mitchell looked up from Quinn's sketchbook that was on her dresser. Some of the pages were torn out and a lot of the drawings were of the view from the window in the living room. "You have to teach us how to do the process, Tim. I hate having to interrupt you all the time."
Karen looked over at him and mouthed "kiss ass" with a smirk. He stuck up his middle finger at her and kept it up as he went back to browsing Quinn's sketches.
June 16, 2012
The loud cheers were what caused Quinn to open her eyes. She was surrounded by people, caught in the middle of a sea of red and black. It took a while for her to gather her bearings, but when she looked down at the red gown that she was wearing it all dawned on her.
Graduation.
Caps fell from the sky all around her, people were jumping out of chairs and pulling people into hugs, even people they didn't know. She stood up slowly and took the cap off of her head as she watched the people mill around her. She was in a daze. She stepped away from the happy graduates for some breathing room and ended up by the goal posts, away from the cheering and the laughter. Everyone was moving around her, past her. Seniors cheering. Parents flooding the football field. All smiles and tears of joy and pride.
Quinn couldn't smile. She dropped her cap to the ground and just watched. She failed again. She failed and, in the process, skipped over an entire year of memories of her relationship with Rachel.
She'll never remember them again.
She spotted Rachel, clad in a red graduation gown with the white Valedictorian sash displayed proudly around her neck, walking out of the crowd towards her. She was beaming a genuine Rachel Berry smile as she skipped towards her, her cap clutched in her hand. Quinn managed a tiny smile as she held her arms open for Rachel to run into them. Rachel, laughing happily, literally jumped into Quinn's arms, wrapped her own around the blonde's neck and her legs around her waist. Quinn wrapped her own arms around Rachel and held her close, trying to only focus on having Rachel in her arms again.
"Oh my gosh, Quinn, I can't believe it!" Rachel squealed into her ear, "We did it! We're made it! We're going to New York!"
Quinn swallowed her tears and nodded.
"Yeah," she whispered, her voice obviously portraying the underlying sadness in her heart.
Rachel pulled away to look at her and frowned immediately. She placed her feet back on the ground and reached up to wipe the rogue tear that leaked out of her girlfriend's eye.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
Quinn shook her head as the flood gates opened and she pulled Rachel back into a crushing hug, burying her face into the brunette's neck.
"I fucked up, Rach," she whimpered, "I fucked up so bad."
"Shh, baby," Rachel cooed as she ran her fingers through the blonde tresses, "it's okay, I promise."
Quinn growled and pulled away so she could look into Rachel's eyes.
"It's not okay! I'm going to lose you," she whispered brokenly. She leaned their foreheads together and let out a sob. Her heart was breaking, sewing itself back up, and breaking again. "I can't lose you again, Rach. I can't. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."
Rachel wrapped her arms tightly around Quinn's waist, murmuring calming words into the artist's ear. When Quinn seemed to calm down, at least when her cries dwindled to sniffles, she pulled away again and tenderly wiped the remaining tears from Quinn's face.
"You have to forget me."
Quinn jerked her head from Rachel's hands, her eyes wide and disbelieving. She frantically shook her head. "No – "
"Quinn, you have to," Rachel said sternly. "You can't keep hiding in your memories. You'll erase everything and when you wake up, you'll have nothing."
"It doesn't matter."
"It does matter," Rachel snapped with tears in her eyes, but it wasn't angry. It was almost sad. "I've forgotten you already. There is no Quinn Fabray in my life anymore. There's nothing you can do to change that. And you're forgetting me. Soon you won't have a clue who Rachel Berry is at all. You can't do anything to change that either. We have to live with that. There's no other choice."
Quinn dropped her eyes to the ground. Rachel was right. As much as it hurt, she was absolutely fucking right. Nothing she did worked. She only succeeded in erasing memories that weren't supposed to be erased in the first place. She sniffed again and brought her teary hazel eyes up to Rachel's face. She felt broken. She made the biggest mistake of her life and she can't fix it, she can't make it into something positive because, come sunrise, it will all be gone. Forever forgotten.
"What do I do?"
Rachel gave a teary smile, and placed a gentle kiss on Quinn's lips. She pulled away so only a few centimeters separated their faces. She cupped the blonde's cheek and let the pad of her thumb run back and forward across the moist skin. Behind them they could hear their families making their way over to them, but for now, it was just the two of them. Always the two of them. there was only one thing that she could do.
"You relive our moments. One last time."
At that, finally, Quinn smiled.
A/N: There's a clue in this chapter as to what my next story is going to be about.