I originally wrote a good portion of this story without separating out chapters - and then later I went back and broke it apart properly. I just prefer writing naturally without worrying about full chapter breaks, just scene breaks, which is why my chapters range from the 4k range to I believe the 8k range later on. This is on the shorter end, but not lacking in plot advancement. I hope you enjoy! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this so far.
By the end of exams, Eli was about ready to blow something up. She was tired, had lost almost half a stone, and though she had managed to avoid the History of Magic exam, Professor Snape had already finished the batch of Wolfsbane since the full moon was on that very same Thursday. So she sat in the common room and practiced potions on her own, most especially a healing potion she was trying to devise—it kept coming out wrong, but she wanted it to be a sort of second skin, like a muggle band-aid except it could temporarily bond with the skin and cover a wound, allowing the injured skin underneath to heal, and then would fall off when the wound was healed entirely. It just kept refusing to bond with the small scratch she'd given herself, unfortunately.
Eli hadn't noticed the time, but judging by the moon no longer shining through the lake, it was past five in the morning. She began cleaning up her mess, just slowly, not really looking forward to going home for a couple months. She'd miss Simon and the twins desperately, not to mention she had to wait and find out about her OWL results the whole damn summer.
The door to the common room slid open and Eli rushed to hide her work, but it was too late—she was caught when…
Wait…
It wasn't Professor Snape sweeping in for a late-night check. It was Professor Dumbledore.
Eli guiltily stepped in front of her potions equipment. "I—I'm sorry, sir, I was just…"
But he held up a finger, silencing her. "Please come with me, Miss Chaplain. It is a matter of utmost importance."
Fear buried the guilt instantly. Eli abandoned her things and rushed after him, not even worried that she was in her pyjamas, since she had a robe on for privacy. Whatever was going on to warrant such a late visit, it had to be either very important, or very bad. Something was telling her it was the latter. "Professor, what's happening?" she asked quietly, as they turned down a corridor and headed towards the hospital wing.
Dumbledore's face was grave. "I am afraid there was an…incident concerning Professor Lupin this evening."
Eli's heart dropped right to the floor. "Is he…is he all right?" she breathed.
He hesitated, looking unsure if he wanted to tell her the truth, but then he relented and shook his head. Eli abandoned him and ran all the way to the hospital wing, nearly slipping in her socks as she skidded around the corner and inside. Several beds were occupied, apparently, but all had the curtains drawn except one on the right, which held the twins' little brother Ron.
Madame Pomfrey approached Eli, fretting and wringing her hands. "Thank goodness you're here," she murmured. "Remus suggested—before I made him sleep for his own good—that you're quite proficient in Potions, yes?"
"I…am," Eli told her cautiously. What was this about? "But wouldn't Professor Snape be a better choice for something sensitive?"
"Perhaps, yes, but Professor Snape is…indisposed at the moment," Dumbledore told her calmly. "And unfortunately, Remus is in need of some Wolfsbane potion to abate his symptoms. He…apparently missed a day, sometime this week. Tonight was difficult for many people. But right now, we need your assistance, Miss Chaplain. As it stands…you have the most experience with the potion currently."
Eli was trembling. They wanted her to what?! To brew the goddamned Wolfsbane potion on her own, when she'd only ever assisted? "You mean to tell me nobody else can do it?" she asked, incredulous. "Not in the whole school?"
"No one else has been assisting Professor Snape in brewing it for half the school year," Dumbledore pointed out calmly.
She closed her eyes tightly. Bloody fucking hell, this was absolutely insane, wasn't it? They were asking a fifteen, almost sixteen-year-old to brew a Wolfsbane potion. But then she thought about it for a moment, really considered it. If they were coming to her, they must really be desperate…and Professor Lupin must be in awful, awful shape.
"Can I see him?" she asked quietly.
Madame Pomfrey looked disapproving, but at a motion from the Headmaster, she gestured to the bed on the far left. "He's asleep right now, or he ought to be," she told Eli firmly.
But Eli wasn't listening. She'd already started across the room, nearly breaking into another sprint just in her haste to get there—but when she reached the bed, conscious of how badly he must be doing, she steeled herself and gently pulled the far side of the curtains aside. What she saw dug at her heart in a way nothing else had, not ever in her life, though she didn't think she'd seen many people in hospital before.
"Eli," Professor Lupin murmured, trying to sit up. But he was too weak and gave up in seconds, instead attempting to give her a weak smile. "I'm sure I look worse than I feel." She knew that wasn't true, though—he was battered, bruised all over, covered in lacerations and what looked like claw marks. His eyes were bloodshot and weary, and deep bruises cut purple swaths under his eyes. But the expression on his face told her that no, he absolutely did not look worse than he felt. She didn't think she'd ever seen someone look so deeply weary.
"I doubt that," she murmured. "I…Professor Lupin… Do you really think Wolfsbane potion will help? The full moon is over, isn't it?"
He nodded, sighing wearily. "It is. But when it's been…particularly bad, it can help expedite the healing process, and…" But the professor broke off, coughing deeply. "And fight some of the nastier aftereffects."
"Remus, don't coddle the girl," Dumbledore scolded gently. To Eli, he added, "The potion mightn't work at all next time otherwise. And without it, he could spend all month in bed anyway."
Eli couldn't meet anyone's eyes. This was a huge task, enormous, and she wasn't really sure she was up to it. But yet…she had to try, she couldn't walk out of the hospital wing and leave him like this, possibly knocked off his feet for a month and doomed to a full transformation next full moon. Her conscience just wouldn't let her. Besides, she'd been wondering how to properly thank him for everything he'd done—wouldn't this be an excellent way?
"If…if I can use Professor Snape's equipment," Eli conceded, watching relief flood Professor Lupin's face. "You can't do it as well with a student's kit."
Professor Dumbledore nodded. "Naturally."
Eli looked up at Professor Lupin, worrying her lip between her teeth. "And…Professor Lupin… You'll need to double-check it at the end. I know you don't brew it yourself, but you're most familiar with the final product, certainly more than I am. The aconite… I don't want to risk poisoning you."
"I trust you," he murmured, nodding.
She took one more look at the adults surrounding her, marveling at the trust they were putting in her—a Slytherin, and just a teenager too!—and crossed her arms firmly. "Then I'll get to it."
Eli stopped by Professor Snape's private storeroom, gathering everything she needed before enchanting it to follow her and heading deep into the dungeon, to the Potions classroom. Professor Snape's large cauldron sat at the front of the room, cleaned and ready, since he was terribly anal about these things, so she immediately started a fire underneath and began laying out her ingredients.
First, count and measure everything, she reminded herself. Then double-check it. The amounts must be absolutely precise. Triple check if you aren't confident. Eli followed her mental instructions, counting and then recounting, as well as measuring everything out and then checking it both by weight and volume. So far, it wasn't bad, but it could all go wrong during the process. This was the easy part, but also the place most potionmakers went wrong. If she had all her ingredients right, then she stood a chance of actually doing this.
It was ludicrous to expect a fifth-year to manage an acceptable Wolfsbane potion, and Eli knew that, but she didn't let it deter her. She wasn't going to let something like age stop her. So, sucking in a deep breath, she dove in headfirst.
Eli worked for an hour without pause, until her hair began sweat-sticking to her neck and face, and she had to magically pin it up or risk it getting in the potion. She wiped her forehead and hit herself with a blast of cool air—even though the dungeons were cold to begin with, stress was wreaking havoc with her system. Still, she didn't give up.
Halfway through, Eli realized daylight was coming in brightly, but she just used colloportus to lock the door and pressed onward. The potion was coming along nicely, after a near-ruination where she'd almost spilled too much powdered silver in all at once, which thankfully she caught before her hand tipped too far. Seeing as she was getting very strung out and tired, Eli took the moment to recheck her process, ensuring she'd added all the ingredients properly and hadn't left anything out. Then she went back to her task, stirring the potion six more times clockwise and then thrice anticlockwise, before adding three drops of essence of dittany, and stirring it just once, more folding the oil in. The potion hissed and steamed at the addition, and Eli nodded, pleased.
She kept at it for another hour, handling the aconite with extreme care and even digging out her notes from assisting Professor Snape to make sure she treated it correctly. She was to add it near the very end, so the heat from the fire didn't completely burn out its effect, but had to let it simmer for exactly two and a half minutes to ensure it would be potent but not dangerous. And in that time, she needed to add raw, moonlight-treated valerian root for extra calming properties.
Eli started the timer right as she dropped the crushed flower petals in, watching the potion change colors—it settled on a cool blue tone, which was absolutely correct. So she moved on to the valerian root, which she'd finely chopped earlier, dropping that in slowly and stirring it exactly thirteen times anticlockwise.
Two and a half minutes went by like lightning, and Eli snuffed out the fire immediately. This was the hardest part, she knew—the very last ingredient was freshly-powdered moonstone, which had to be added in the next thirty-two seconds. It lost all potency within sixty seconds of being crushed, so some potionmakers crushed it up before removing the heat, but Professor Snape absolutely swore the effects were best if you crushed it after. Meaning from the moment the fire died, Eli had thirty-two seconds exactly to crush the moonstone, add it, and stir it twice clockwise.
Her hands started to tremble as she crushed up the shimmery white stone, but Eli held her breath and worked quickly and confidently, adding the fine white powder just as the clock hit twenty-six seconds. She continued holding her breath through the required two firm stirs, and then sucked in a greedy lungful of air when she was through.
She'd done it.
Eli watched, hopeful, knowing the absolute sign she'd done it correctly would come in the form of the faint blue smoke she'd recognized in Professor Lupin's office, what felt like ages ago. It took only a few seconds, but god, it felt like eternity to wait, scarcely breathing, to see if she actually was as capable as the others believed her to be.
Finally, soft blue tendrils floated up from the surface, and Eli sank to the floor, absolutely wrecked. But she still had to deliver it, get Professor Lupin's approval, and providing she got that, she'd simply have to see if it actually worked.
So, resigned to not sleeping for another hour at least, Eli cleaned up, safely preserving the potion she'd made up in a container, and then removing a gobletful of it to bring upstairs with her. There was no other option than to walk up, through the castle, which was now bustling with students getting ready to go home, relieved after their exams, wandering around in street clothes chattering excitedly about their summer. Eli stopped plenty of conversations just with her presence—a wrung-out Slytherin girl in her pyjamas, hair a mess, lack of sleep marked under her eyes drew plenty of attention, not to mention that she was carrying what was obviously a potion with such care you'd think she was holding a kitten.
But she didn't care. She absolutely did not care, because she had far more important things to care about.
Eli stepped into the hospital wing and noticed Harry and Hermione sitting at Ron's bedside, chatting with him amiably. They all looked at her in surprise as she walked in, and Eli nodded once, hoping Madame Pomfrey would come out before they could ask.
"Eli? Are you all right?" Hermione asked her softly.
Well, the straight answer was no, but Eli wasn't feeling up for a discussion. So instead she just shrugged. "I'm fine. How's your leg doing, Ron?" A blatant attempt to swing the spotlight elsewhere.
Ron's ears tipped red at the attention. "Oh, er, it's fine, nothing too bad. Madame Pomfrey says I'll be fine to head home this afternoon."
Mercifully, Madame Pomfrey strode out of her office then, hurrying to take the goblet from Eli and examining it. "Well, it looks right," she admitted, giving it a little sniff. "Smells correct too." Though she looked a bit suspicious and wary still, she beckoned for Eli to follow her across the room—then she waved her wand and pulled the curtains around the other three, much to their irritation, though they didn't try to look round.
Eli accepted the goblet back and stepped behind the curtains to Professor Lupin's bed, noting he was awake and staring distantly at nothing in particular, his eyes dazed and unfocused. "Professor Lupin?" she asked, her voice as quiet as she could make it.
He jolted like she'd hit him, and rolled over to see her. "Eli… Were you…up all night working on that?"
She waved his concern off. "Not my first time staying up all night, don't worry." Holding the goblet out, she added, "I did it… I think. Well, it looks right to me, I was very careful, but I'll let you be the final judge of that."
He seemed too weak to hold it himself, so Eli obligingly held the goblet out to let him look and smell it, just like Madame Pomfrey, but with a much more practiced and keen eye for the potion itself. Eli could hardly breathe as he examined it, tilting his head to one side, wafting it, gently tipping the goblet to see the consistency… But then he finally nodded, giving her the biggest smile she thought he could muster at the moment. "It looks perfect," he murmured. "Just like Severus's comes out."
That was high praise, and Eli couldn't keep the redness off her cheeks no matter how hard she tried. "I just hope it helps," she told him.
"I'm sure it will." Professor Lupin sounded far more confident than she felt.
Madame Pomfrey ushered Eli out with Hermione and Harry, the latter of whom turned to her the moment they exited the hospital wing. "You know about him, don't you?" he asked her, no pretenses.
Eli didn't bat an eyelash. "Yes. I figured it out just after the holidays."
"And you didn't tell anyone?" he demanded.
Something was wrong, Eli just didn't know what it was. "Of course not. Bloody hell, I just stayed up all night making Wolfsbane potion to help him since Professor Snape couldn't. Why? I didn't think hardly anyone else knew."
"I knew a while ago too," Hermione admitted. "And…you haven't heard what happened?"
Nausea lodged in Eli's stomach that had nothing to do with staying up all night. "What happened? I've been in the dungeons all night, I locked the door and didn't see anyone since Professor Dumbledore set me on this around five in the morning. Before that I was in the dormitories, since just after dinner."
Harry's voice came out bitter. "Apparently Snape let it slip to all the Slytherins that Lupin's a werewolf," he spat.
The corridor spun, and Eli had to fight not to stagger from the sudden revelation. "He did what? Dumbledore told me he was indisposed, not…not that, why would he…" But she knew why. 'Severus isn't a big fan of mine… We've got quite a bit of history…' That's what Professor Lupin had said. "Bloody hell. That'll ruin him, he won't be able to teach anymore!"
"And I'm guessing Snape didn't want to do anything for Lupin after—well… A few things happened last night." Hermione was a rotten liar, really. "It seems unfair to put that all on you, though."
Eli wrinkled her nose. "I've been helping Professor Snape make it for months, actually, ever since I found out. So they figured I was the most qualified at the time, as nobody else had assisted on it recently. A few teachers are decent with potions but I had pages of notes and plenty of experience." She noticed her fingers were glowing, but she couldn't be fussed to worry about it. Not until they started to heat up. "That's an awful thing for him to do, especially to refuse to help…" Shaking her head fiercely, Eli drew her shoulders up and eyed the two third years. "Look, just don't tell anyone I was involved, okay? It's none of their business. I was just helping someone who's been very kind to me this year. Nothing more."
"We won't say a word," Harry told her, nodding. He seemed to believe she had nothing to do with it, at least.
"Oh, and…" Eli smirked. "If I hear any Slytherins saying anything about—well, you know—I'll hex them into next term." She left the two with that, and headed off to the dormitories to catch up on lost sleep. It was all she could think about anymore, all she could handle after the night she'd had and the information she'd just been given. That afternoon she'd catch the train to Kings Cross, but for the time being, she just wanted to forget real life for a little.
Eli was silent on the train home, which didn't escape Simon and the twins' notice. But no matter what they did, she couldn't summon up more than a weak smile—no words, barely any reactions, just…nothing.
"Please talk to us," Simon begged her, sounding both desperate and exhausted.
Fred leaned in across the seats. "C'mon, Eli, what's going on?"
"Are you upset about Professor Lupin being…y'know…" George tried, hesitantly. "I know you got close with him, it's a bit of a shock…"
That, beyond anything, set her off. "Don't you dare talk about that!" she hissed, leaping to her feet. "I knew before almost anyone else did, I've been helping and keeping the secret for months! You don't know anything about what happened!" Eli knew her hands were glowing, but she was powerless to do anything about it. "I'm not upset he's a werewolf, I'm upset the whole damned school knows! And my head of house is responsible for that!"
She stormed out of the compartment, fuming, struggling to keep her temper in check. There was no tracing exactly why she'd gotten so angry, George hadn't meant anything by it, but the very idea that she'd be so distraught over Professor Lupin's affliction cut her deeply—perhaps in part because she'd given him the very same idea when she'd realized it.
And while she knew she'd overreacted, she had just been up the entire night making a Wolfsbane potion to help Professor Lupin, to save him from an awful transformation next month, and with the emotional investment she'd put into that night, into the work she'd done, Eli couldn't entirely fault her outburst. Really, the biggest problem was the secrets she'd begun keeping, unable to confide in her best friends about what had happened. So they weren't on the same page as her, they weren't able to really understand what was going on.
Eli didn't blame them for that, but she couldn't help but be defensive anyway. It was just in her nature.
George found her at the very end of the train, in a compartment by herself. Eli had curled up in the seat and was staring out at the countryside, her knees drawn to her chest and her chin resting atop them. She didn't acknowledge him when he entered, but she knew he saw her glancing up at him when he walked in. He didn't speak, though, just sitting opposite her quietly.
"I'm sorry I snapped," Eli murmured finally, though the apology wounded her pride.
He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. Ron filled me in on a bit, and I was trying to sort of…" George grinned, embarrassed. "I was trying to see how you felt about it all, honestly. But I had no idea you'd been helping out, I swear."
Eli nodded, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't. It wasn't my place."
"Well, I can't blame you for that, it's a huge bloody secret." He smiled and reached across to touch her knee lightly, comfortingly, trying to keep things open between them. After all this time, the boys knew she had a habit of shutting everyone out, hiding her feelings, and so they'd learned to take steps to prevent that. "You don't have to handle everything by yourself now, y'know. We all know about Lupin being a werewolf and all. So you can talk to us."
She looked away. "That doesn't come very easily to me."
"I know that." George came to sit next to her, nudging her with his shoulder. "Pestering comes easy to me, though." Bumping her over and over, he repeated, "What's in your head? What's in your head?" until Eli broke and laughed, shoving him away and scrunching her nose up. Pleased he'd won, George tugged her close and ruffled her hair, completely ignoring her protests that he was ruining her braids—she undermined herself anyway, from laughing so hard.
Finally he released her, both breathless and still laughing a bit. Eli shoved her unruly hair from her face and smiled at him, really smiled. "All right," she agreed, shaking her head. "I'll open up a bit more."
"Excellent!" George hopped back across to the opposite side, leaned back, and rested his feet on the cushion just beside her. "I'm all ears, then."
Eli was unnerved. "Right now?" She'd thought he meant over the summer, or when she came by the Burrow before school started, not right then and there on the train to London. But there he was, looking so expectant and almost elated to hear what she'd been bottling up, and she didn't really know how to disappoint him.
So she talked. It started as a slow trickle, but rapidly became a waterfall, words and emotions just pouring out of her, as she spilled her heart out to one of her best friends. For his part, George just sat and listened, nodding to show he was paying attention, but he didn't ask questions or interrupt—he just let her get all of it out. And it really was all of it, from her fears of not making it into the career she wanted back at the beginning of the year, to her discovery of Evangeline McKinnon and how that haunted her every day, her struggles placing a sort of father-figure in her life when her own father was still around, the realization that her own parents tried to smother her magical side when she was home, how the only way she cast a Patronus was to think of her friends, not family… And then the whole event of the Wolfsbane potion, the discovery that Professor Snape had ruined someone who had truly become a mentor and ally for her, who had shown her great respect and kindness when there was no reason for it.
By the end, Eli's voice was hoarse, and they were approaching Kings Cross, nearly back in the 'real world.' But George didn't seem bothered by it. Instead he embraced her tightly, sweetly, and Eli blushed absolutely crimson. "Thank you for telling me," he murmured, quirking a crooked smile. "You'd better write this summer, okay? Don't just put it off."
Eli hid her smile in his shirt. "I will, I promise."
And she meant it. She felt lighter, happier now that she'd released all that. "Do you think your mum would let me come a bit earlier?" Eli asked curiously, as he draped an arm across her shoulders to guide her back to their original compartment.
"Honestly, Eli? I think she'd let you spend the whole summer if you asked," he laughed.
It was tempting, but she knew she had to spend some time with her parents. They'd get put out if she just retreated to the Burrow all summer. "I'd love to, but I do have to go home sometime." Eli smirked and added, "But I would like to spend a couple weeks there, maybe. No one's ever shown me around the area."
George scoffed at that idea. "There's nothing to see, it's all fields, fields, more fields, water, fields…"
She giggled and prodded his side until he yelped. "I'd still like to look around, I've never been past the back yard. Besides, when my family lived in Sussex, I used to love wandering around in the fields. I ended up in someone else's property once, they chased me off with a broom!" Seeing his face, she quickly tacked on, "A muggle broom, not an enchanted one."
"Well, then we'll go wander in the fields," George agreed brightly.
Eli smiled up at him as they returned to their compartment, meeting Simon and Fred's happy comments about her being in better spirits. Nothing was perfect, it wouldn't ever be—and she was still stressed and overwrought by a myriad of problems—but she didn't think she'd trade it for anything. She certainly wouldn't trade the boys for anything. And after this year, everything would change anyway, what with their OWLs being over and classes being switched up. Not to mention the change-ups in her own world.
And yet, she mused, as they pulled into the station, she was kind of excited to see what happened next.