Breathing became a challenge. Her armor had mostly been burned away and what was left of it was welded to her skin. Rubble was pinning down most of her body, leaving only one arm uncovered. Her head was swimming, she wouldn't last long, unconsciousness would soon overwhelm her. She heard gravel rumbling near by, a vehicle most likely passing by. She used her free hand, grabbed a chunk of rubble and banged it against the metal crushing her abdomen.
"Do you hear that? Could it be leftover Reaper forces?" Soldiers said, making their way over towards the banging. Jane tried to yell out but she was too weak. She could feel herself slipping away.
"It's a marine, get the medical team over here, we will search for identification and stabilize her." Another voice yelled out. "Also, get some biotics over here to help move the rubble without crushing her," the same voice continued. Jane could feel someone touching her, looking for a pulse on her wrist, and she could feel every piece of rubble being moved off of her. When the last piece of rubble, the metal crushing her abdomen was moved, her body went numb. The last thing she saw was a young medic standing over her applying medi-gel before he stumbled over her slightly melted dog tags.
"We have an N7 soldier over here, name… Jane Shepard. We need all medical staff on standby for surgery. Commander, we're going to take care of you. And thank you." The medic said before lifting her on a stretcher. Every part of her body screamed in protest at being moved. The pain was unbearable, she blacked out, not expecting to come back.
Jane woke up to, what she suspected to be, the front door shutting. She hurt that Kaidan never came back home last night but she had to apologize to him. Everything she said to him was uncalled for. Jane got changed into her old N7 work out clothes, and headed downstairs. She found Kaidan on the couch with a blanket thrown over him, and the shades shut, leaving the room in complete darkness.
"Hey there," Jane said softly as she sat down at the edge of the couch and pushed her fingers through Kaidans hair. His black hair was starting to be spotted with some gray hairs. Jane was sure that most of them was from the heart attacks she gave him on a daily basis. She took in Kaidan's rumpled clothing that reeked of alcohol.
"I should leave soon Victoria," he mumbled half a sleep as he turned over. Ice shot through her veins. She remembered Kaidan confessing how he dated her during the time she was dead. Jane was fine that Kaidan moved on after her death, it was what she expected him to do. What she didn't expect, was for him to sleep at her house, especially after a fight and with alcohol in his system. Jane shot up from the couch, grabbed her running shoes and made her way out the door. She ran straight into the woods, not knowing where she was going, and not caring. Anyplace was better than home right now.
What if he cheated? He was probably finally fed up with me… but wouldn't he break up with me first? Wouldn't he have the decency to tell me the truth? Jane thought as she ran. Thoughts of what could've happened bombarded her skull, she stopped to take in her surroundings. She'd been running for hours, with no desire to turn around and head back. She sat down on the roots of a tree and thought back to when she was young again, a couple years before the raid on Mindoir.
She was playing soccer on a small co-ed team that the colony put together. She was sitting on the ground waiting for her turn to go in the game. The coach came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder and she automatically flinched away. She hated people touching her.
"Why do you push people away Shepard?" Her coach asked her. And for once, she didn't have an answer.
Jane lifted a hand to her face to wipe the tears off of her face. She knew she would eventually have to go back home and face the music, but how much easier would it be to just runaway? With a sigh, Jane got up, and started to run back to the house. When she made it back, Kaidan was in the backyard, facing the woods she had ran into. In front of him were tools and a circuit board. He glanced up at her as she walked across the yard.
"How does the leg feel?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Just like new," Jane replied coldly and went to walk past him. His arm shot out and grabbed her's before she went into the house. The way he grabbed her just further enraged Jane.
"We need to talk Jane," he said, looking in her eyes.
"Why don't you go talk to Victoria, isn't she the one your moving on to now?" Jane said with disdain in her voice.
"What are you talking about?" Kaidan asked releasing his grip on her arm.
"I get it. I used to be 'Commander Shepard,' and it used to be a challenge to see if you could get close to me. And you accomplished that. So now, you want a life with someone who can bring you happiness. I wish you just broke up with me first though," Jane said starting to walk away again. Kaidan got out of the chair and blocked her from going into the house.
"Move." Jane demanded, practically yelling.
"No. Not until you tell me what the hell your talking about!" Kaidan yelled back.
"What? Do you not remember coming in hung over and making your way to the couch? I came downstairs to apologize and you make a comment about how you should be leaving Victoria's house soon." Jane spat out, each word containing anger and hurt. Kaidan pushed his hand through his hair.
"Shit, I'm sorry, Jane-" Kaidan started before Jane interrupted.
"You're sorry?" Jane said, finally pushing past him and into the house. She marched upstairs into the bedroom. Kaidan followed her upstairs and went into the bedroom to see her standing over a suitcase, putting at least a week's worth of clothing into.
"Jane, nothing happened! I was too drunk to drive back and I brought the skycar, so Victoria drove the skycar back to her house and I slept on her couch for the night. Victoria and I never clicked even before the war! We're just friends!" Kaidan pleaded trying to stop Jane from shoving more clothes into the suitcase. Jane closed the suitcase, practically flew down the stairs, took off her engagement ring and placed it on the side table next to the stairs. She slammed the front door as she made her way out of the house. She didn't believe a word of what Kaidan was saying, and she didn't want to listen to any more excuses. Jane was halfway down the driveway before realizing she didn't grab any extra money with her. She walked down a street and called a taxi skycar at a gas station. She needed a place to stay.
Jane got out of the taxi a few hours later in front of a small two-story house. She paid the taxi driver with the remaining money she had and walked up to the front door. Jane rang the doorbell and heard the heavy foot steps coming her way. When it opened she was faced with the one person she wanted to see.
"Lola?" James said, confusion practically written on his face.
"I know this is really weird, but I need a place to stay, and you used to be my guard, and we are pretty good friends…" Jane rambled on and on, as she did when she was nervous.
"Hey, hey. Slow down. I said it before, your always welcome here." James said, opening up the door wider before stepping outside, taking her suitcase from her, and leading her into the house.
"I just made some of my abuela's huevos rancheros. Food is on the stove, help yourself. I'll go put your stuff upstairs." James called down halfway up the stairs. Jane was shocked out of his generosity. He didn't ask a single question about why she needed a place to stay, he just let her in, no questions asked. Jane made her way to the kitchen to find the famous dish that James always used to rant about on the Normandy. She heard foot steps behind her.
"You know it's almost dinner time and you made eggs?" Jane said amused.
"It doesn't matter what time of day it is, this stuff is good anytime of day." James said, grabbing two plates and piling on the food.
"Grab two beers from the fridge for me Lola?" James asked as he headed out of the room. Jane grabbed the beers and followed him to the couch.
"Biotiball?" Jane says grinning, remembering the time she made bets with Cortez and Vega on which team would win.
"Hell yeah," James said, popping the caps off the beers and handing one to Jane. After she scarfed down the eggs and finished off her beer, Jane was practically in a food coma by the end of the biotiball game. Both her head and eyes drooped and she was soon asleep with her head on Vega's shoulder.
"Kaidan?" Jane said as she ran towards him across the street. But right as Jane reached him, he turned around, put his arm around the waist of Victoria and kissed her. "what are you doing?! We're engaged!" Jane screamed.
"You took off your ring remember? No longer engaged." Kaidan said as he walked off with Victoria, not once looking back at Jane.
Jane's dream started to disappear as she realized she was being shaken.
"Wake up Shepard! Come on! It's just a dream!" Vega said to her as he gently shook her shoulders. Jane opened her eyes to see that they were both still on the couch. James reached his hands up and placed them on both sides of Jane's face. He swept his thumbs under her eyes wiping up the last tears that were falling down her face.
"I promised myself I wouldn't ask you and that I would wait until you told me, but what's going on Lola?" James asked with concern. "You were crying out and thrashing, I thought I was going to have a concussion from the way you were flailing!" James joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"I suck at being a civilian." Jane said quietly.
"What do you mean?" James prodded for her to go on.
"I've been put on medical leave from the Alliance for practical forever, I've been fighting with Kaidan left and right, Kaidan cheated on me yesterday, and I'm afraid to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, nightmares come to plague me. Do you know what it's like to be in constant fear of falling asleep at night?" Jane said. James just sat there right next to her and put his arm around her.
"You can stay here as long as you want Lola." James said, putting the joking aside. Never before had he seen her so beat down, lost, and broken. Even when she was in the hospital, she was filled with the power and perseverance of the Savior of the Galaxy. This side of her showed James the scared girl from Mindoir.
"You can go back to sleep Lola. I promise nothing will happen to you here." Vega said. Jane hesitantly closed her eyes, afraid of what her subconscious would show her, and afraid that she might of lost the one person she truly loved. Jane finally pushed everyone away, and Vega was the only one left standing.