Sorry for the lateness. Working on my novel while changing some things to this story. Also, please watch your wording. Adrian sounds "gay" is offensive to me. I'm part LGBTQ community and I don't take that kind of stuff lightly. And so what if he is feminine? Some guys are. He's been around women his whole life. I appreciate the constructive criticism a lot, so thank you but all you had to say was, "He sounds feminine. Please work on that." Thanks. :) I'm bumping the rating up by the way.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned an Adrian Ivashkov or a Sydney Sage but alas, I do not. Ugh.

Sydney's Turn

I was addicted.

Lea made me get a room far away from where she was, on the other side of the hotel. She complained of me making too much noise and even though that wasn't true at all, I let her have it. It wasn't my job to worry. She introduced me to some Moroi guys at a party and I watched as her form become crystal to a blur. Stalking off somewhere to find the kind of girl's she liked specifically.

Hale and Scott found me by the pool, nodding my head to the music. The beat was angry and off, the instrumental version if me. There were so many people there anything could have happened. But the brothers asked me if I wanted to go someplace and I took them back to my room, drinking more alcohol straight from the bottle. Hale (Or was it Scott?) laughed and told me to slow down and I didn't even look his way. They were a few years younger, still kids in their own way.

I was drunk or high when I had sex now. I liked being in that state of empty but breathing, it made everything hurt less and hurt more. It was pain mixed with pleasure. And pain is addicting. With the lights off and my eyes closed tight, I could imagine a different pair of hands and slower breathing, whispering beautiful lies that even then I didn't believe.

The guys were muscular and as tanned as us Moroi could be, with identical brown eyes that sparkled and tongues that delved into gasp-worthy places. But I didn't make any noises, just traced the shapes in the ceiling and felt them come undone. No effort or work from me. I rolled to the side and cringed at their touches. The cuddling was the worst part. Most of the time I found guy's hands in diverse parts of my body when I woke up. That is, if I ever went to sleep. Sometimes I stare at the bodies breathing deeply in the bed and wonder what I was thinking in the first place.

Sex is ugly but I used to think it was beautiful, that maybe it meant more than it actually does. Christian drilled that into me when I was having doubts.

"I don't have that with her. I'm only intimate with you." He'd say, dragging a brush through his dark hair. I used to curl it with my fingers for hours. He was that kind of beautiful that hurts to even look at, because it burns. And when I think about it now, it's embarrassing how pathetic I was. I would have done anything for him, and maybe, that seems nice to some people but it was just useless in the end. Love is always useless in the end.

Before I knew it my eyes were closed and someone was shaking me awake. I bolt up, taking in everything with only half my brain. I yawn. I'm still tired.

"What time is it?" I ask yawning yet again. I rove my hands through my hair in a dumb attempt to make it look presentable.

"One o'clock."

Shit. I recognize that voice. Adrian. Shit. The last person I would've liked to see me like this is seeing me like this. I have no clothes on and even though I make no move to cover myself with the blanket, I know I must be flushing. I haven't done that in forever. He isn't even looking at me though; he's studying Scott and Hale who are as naked as they were last night. I raise my eyebrows.

"Are you gay?"

Adrian snorts, his face twisting in humor. He's striking but unlike Christian, he doesn't use it to get whatever he wants. It's refreshing but dangerous. "I'm mostly straight."

"So am I." I'd never been particularly interested in women but I had hooked up with one once. It was better but not enough to make a difference.

"You came to get me."

"Eddie said you were miserable and when Eddie's miserable, all of Amberwood is miserable."

Yeah. He did have that effect. Such a charmer. I sigh, jumping out of the bed to find my clothes. Oh, I realize. That's why Adrian is looking at the guys, because he doesn't want to embarrass me. That was kind of sweet. I try to remember why we didn't get along.

"What are their names?" He leans by the doorway to the bathroom where I reside, trying to comb the knots out of my hair. I must look terrible.

"Hale and Scott."

"Cute."

I flash him a smile. "I know. Are you sure you're not gay?" He smirks in that way I know makes girl's hearts beat faster. Hell, mine even races a bit.

"I don't know how anyone could be while you're alive." Damn. That was one for the books. And it sounded genuine too. Even though his expression is completely innocent, his green eyes are sparkling mischievously. Ah.

"Are you flirting with me, Ivashkov? Isn't that against Alchemist protocol?"

He reaches out, taking the comb from my hand and undoing the knots himself. His fingers are gentle but it still stings. I clear my throat. "Fortunately, they don't cover flirting in the handbook."

I bite my lip because were talking and it's nice because I'm pretending that were friends.. He came and got me and even though it may not seem like a lot, it means something to me. I wasn't expecting him to come; I try not to expect anything from anyone anymore. He frowns and starts combing again, I watch him in the mirror. The flurescent lights make him look like a model. After awhile, he's managed to untangle everything so it's smooth. I don't know what to say so I ruin it.

"I'm not going to be nice to you now, if that's what you're expecting."

Adrian shakes his head, straight brown hair flopping all over the place. "I didn't expect anything."

"Would you stop touching the radio?"

"Well, sorry I don't want to listen to old ass music."

"It's classic not old."

"Aren't they the same thing?"

He makes a noise that sounds like a curse. Whether or not he wants to believe it, he's an easy target. Way too sensitive.

I go for a cheap shoot. "Your car's an ugly color."

Adrian taps his fingers on the steering wheel, taking a sharp turn. We didn't talk the first hour. I was exhausted and he didn't seem to care one way or the other. Watching the trees pass by with increasing speed, I smirk. I must really be annoying him. I wait for a comeback but all he says is, "I know."

Huh. Not the answer I was expecting. The car is an ugly color but it makes me think of coffee and I love coffee, even though it makes me sleepy. Adrian tilts his head which I noticed is something he does when he's annoyed. My eyes soak in the colors shimmering somewhere next to him. His aura is an unreal shade of purple with traces of yellow. Auras are tricky and I'm not the best at reading them but I know there's definitely something weird about his.

"So what happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

I'm graced with an eye roll. "With you and Lissa?"

"That's none of your business."

"I'm sorry." Well. Wasn't expecting that. I turn the radio station again. An annoyingly catchy pop song starts. Adrian tilts his head again. I grin.

"Lissa and I used to be friends. Now were not. It happens sometimes."

I don't know why I say it. Probably because he didn't expect me to.

He shifts in his seat. "It's because of Christian." I flinch at the use of his name and suddenly I really don't want to be in this car anymore. Adrian Ivashkov is treading on dangerous ground. But it's nothing I can't handle.

"Are you a virgin?"

"No."

I respect that he answered it right out, everyone I've ever asked has looked at me with some form of disgust or sputtered out something unintelligible. It's stupid. If you don't want anyone to know your business, then just say so. Who has time to play games? Okay, so I'm a little hypocritical.

Adrian surprises me a minute later with, "Are you?"

He can't be serious. "Did you not see me in bed with two naked guys, like, an hour ago?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you had sex. And even if you did, that doesn't mean you're not a virgin."

I snort. So he's one of those. "You're a romantic."

"No, I'm not. But I'm not a cynic either."

I turn in my seat, turning the music down and scratching my navy blue sweater. Were tense again because of earlier and maybe I feel guilty but maybe I don't. So I draw it out, make it count. "You're mad at me. Because of Eddie."

A pause. No, that wasn't it. There's something else. Eddie would have told Adrian about me blocking the X- rated stuff out. I wouldn't subject him to that. Adrian doesn't say anything and I stifle the disappointment that wells up. It's dumb but I'm grateful for him talking to me, not many people want to breathe them same air anymore, much less talk. That's what happens when you did what I did. Of course, Christian got chastised with a four-month break from Lissa and I got a lifetime of being the Royal Whore, as I'm now known. I remember laughing when someone called me for the first time but it wasn't funny. It's like, I threw my life away for this one person who I thought loved me enough to pick me when I wasn't even an option. And for a while, it hurt, still does, but most of it is anger. I want the same thing to happen to Christian, I want people to hate him and treat them like he's trash and call him a whore because he deserves it, just like I deserve it.

But I also want to let him go and I don't know how to do that without someone I know would never betray me, helping me.

A strange noise pulls me out of my depressive thoughts. Adrian pulls his phone out of his pocket, keeping one hand tightly on the steering wheel. I know Jill must have lectured him at least once about that because he sends me an apologetic look.

"Hello?"

"Carly? What? What are you-"

I frown as his normally low-pitched voice goes up an octave.

"What's going on?" I ask watching as Adrian's face scrunches up. His creamy skin pales and I follow his gaze to the car coming straight at us. My hands instinctively go to the wheel but the car is already crashing and the last thing I think before everything goes dark is, this is just fucking fantastic.