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I see Alexander walking across the court yard. I could read his body language and he was moving as if he was angry. I hold Alexander's horse ready for him, along with a steed for myself. I wait for him to speak first, handing over the reins to Bucephalus, watching him closely.
"Mother" Is all he needs to say to me. I understand, Alexander and I have spoken many nights of our childhoods and our parents. We are connected as if we were born together; as brothers. I know his gestures, his oddities, his likes and dislikes. I know Alexander better then I know myself. I know why he does things; I do not always understand my own oddities.
I pat his shoulder and hop up onto my horse. I could feel the tension and my horse rears up sensing it too. I hold on, squeezing my thighs together and I pat her neck to comfort her. I watch as Alexander swings himself up onto Bucephalus and they take off at a full run, leaving me behind.
I follow behind him staying far enough back for a few miles, letting Alex clear his head. It was not me being submissive it was me respecting my friend. I knew what he was thinking or that he was thinking and when he needed some time. Whenever he spent any great amount of time with his mother, he needed time to process her. I gave him that, I would give him anything.
He was starting to slow to a gallop and I take it as a sign that he is ready to talk. I always watched his body movements and moods; I knew it was useful in getting his attention. There was a part of me that wanted his attention, all of it, always.
I wanted every day to be the days that we ride and fuck and talk and fuck and only be us. Silly right? I was being ridicules I knew it could never be. But I could fantasize couldn't I? My father would always beat me for daydreaming and tell me to "get to it" whatever that meant.
I catch up to Alexander and we slow down to a walk, I wait for him to speak. It was a beautiful day; I look up, the sky was bright blue not a cloud in sight, the sun was warm and there was a slow warm breeze from the sea. It was the perfect day.
"My mother thinks you're trying to solidify a position here by cozying up to my father." Alexander tells me as he looks over at me.
"What position would that be?" I question him. It always made me nervous this game play; the who said what and when and what did that mean. I just wanted to be left alone.
"She insinuated, on your hands and knees' with your ass up." Alexander grumbles. I laugh out loud. It was one of my favorite positions! But with the King! Never! Alex gives me a dirty look and I immediately stop laughing. I knew how Alexander felt about his father. He looked mad; he does not think I would, does he?
"You know I have no agenda here Alex. I would be glad to never see my father again and he is my only family. My only aspiration is to see you on the throne." I tell him even though we have discussed this many times at school. One word from his mother seemed to poison his thoughts against me.
"Why would she say that to you?" I ask, watching his face.
"You seemed very comfortable on his lap last night." He tells me snidely. I stop my horse. Phillip had grabbed me as I walked past him that night, pulling me onto his lap. I did not sit there on my own! I didn't think Alexander saw it happen. I was desperately trying to get his attention that night so he could help me out of the situation. But he was drunk and flirting with a bunch of slave girls. The last place I wanted to be was on King Philips lap!
"It is not like I can tell your father No!" I yell out to him, I was getting more and more frustrated. Alexander pulls Bucephalus reins so his head snaps around and our horses bump together he reaches over and takes the front of my chiton in his fist, pulling me towards him so our faces were inches apart.
"If you ever betrayed me Hephestion…" He threatens me. Why would he think that I would betray him? I have never given him reason to think any way but that I would defend him to the death!
"I would never Alex! I only want to be with you, no one else." I try to kiss him. He shoves me back and punches my chest; right in the center taking my breath away. I lean forward clutching my horse's mane.
"Phai! Phai, I'm sorry!" Alexander cry's out jumping from his horse and pulling me off mine. He hugs me to him, my face in his neck my arms tucked in-between us. Alex has never hit me before. I am so shocked by it I cannot even speak; my father would hit me for any discretion. Alexander knew this about me, we had talked about it. Alex holds my shoulders pulling me off his chest and shaking me hard.
"Phai talk to me!" He tells me with desperation in his voice.
I am suddenly angry; it overcomes me like a wave in the sea. I push him back then lunge at him trying to wrestle him to the ground. I take him by the waist, pushing him with my shoulder. I have good traction with my toes and I'm able to knock him over onto his back, landing on top of him. I growl as he pulls my head down by my hair and wraps his legs around me squeezing me hard. Alexander's legs were strong …I feel my ribs getting crushed. I can't take a breath, my chest is burning! The world goes black.