I'm back!!
STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS EVERYTHING.
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My mind raced through the possible things I could say to Edward. Charlie came home right after he left yesterday. Of course Charlie would pick up on my lack of appetite that particular day. Once I complained of stomach pains Charlie all but ran to the TV, mumbling something about Tylenol.
I walked through the high school parking lot with my hood up, trying to get out of the rain. My shoes squeaked in the hallway and I went straight to my locker. My shit was randomly thrown in my locker making my math book barely visible. I had just pulled out my Spanish notebook when a shadow loomed over me. I craned my neck behind me and almost screamed.
"Edward. You have got to stop doing that." I stood up and faced him, cradling the book to my chest. His eyes were only amused today. No sign of grief or despair into the mix of green.
"It's fucking fun this way." He chuckled then stepped closer, lowering his voice.
"Actually I wanted to ask you something." I shut my locker, hitched my bag over and shoulder and turned to him.
"Okay."
"I wanted to know if you wanted to have lunch with me." I opened my mouth but nothing could be voiced before I shut it again. Does he not realize there is one huge reason, in the form of a stuck up bitch, why I can't eat with him. His eyes darted up to mine when I was silent.
"Rosalie won't be at school for a while," He said once understanding my hesitation.
"She and Jasper went back to Texas for a funeral. I'm not sure how long they'll be gone."
Wow.
He's nervous. It was running through his veins the way he would avoid eye contact, run his hands through his hair and shift on his feet; ready to bolt at any moment. I found it endearing.
"Sure." I said biting my lip, unsure how he'd react. All three of his previous actions stopped. They were replaced by bright shining eyes, a breath of relief and a dazzling crooked smile.
"I'll see you at lunch then." His scent followed him as he turned and left in the direction of his class.
The first bell rung and I shuffled my way to math, sliding into my seat beside Mike. He all but jumped in my lap when I sat down.
"Bella, I am so sorry for yesterday. They are so shallow and I apologize for everything. I didn't know they would be like that. I should have known Lauren and Jessica were going to pull shit like that and I am extremely sorry." I decided to keep quiet and let him get all of it off his chest.
"I promise you I won't bring that on you anymore. I think you're a really cool person and the others would like you but those two think they own the group. Anyways, whenever you want lunch I can arrange something for whoever you want there. Seriously, I'm sorry for their shit."
"Okay Mike. It's not your fault at all but thank you. I have no idea what I did to either of them." Before Mike could respond Mr. Varner walked in and handed us a pop quiz.
Awesome plan ass face.
"They're very immature and I hope we can be friends. We'll try lunch another time."
The quiz itself was a straight forward concept. Easy. It's not like this small town named after a utensil would have mind boggling tests. Back home, I wasn't that good in this subject but I knew my shit. I had to work for my A but I got it down. Now, math can go suck a dick.
The downside to the quiz, it was long and lasted all class. Once it was over, we handed in our papers and parted ways. Mike gave a little smile and wave as he made his way to his next class. I walked into Spanish and kept my head down as I made my way to my seat behind Jessica. No need to accept her stink eye. She didn't budge an inch from her rigid posture. Shoulders never relaxed and she kept her eyes straight forward to the chalk board. Not like I was going to speak to her anyways. These days were starting to wash me away. Nothing could hold my interest. All except one exception. I dragged my feet to Geography and saw Alice bouncing in the back. My smile spread across my entire face. Okay, two exceptions. I set down my stuff and she already launched into her babbling.
"Bella! How're you doing?"
"I'm okay. Better than yesterday." She perked up at the sound of yesterday.
"Yea, you have a lot of explaining to do after my brother kidnapped you and didn't return until much later," Shit. What would he have said? What could he have said? Are we even friends? Do we qualify as friends because we got matching tattoos, went out for lunch and blush awkwardly around each other?
"He wouldn't tell me anything! Very frustrating." The teacher started at that moment and I couldn't be any more grateful. Alice never saw my cheeks flush. Why are boys so damn confusing? No, wait they aren't confusing. In fact they're fairly simple and easy to understand. It's they're stupidity that get's in the way. Testosterone fuels their functions and influences their minds. Cut the shit. I've never had that much experience with guys. I only ever had one. Jacob became easy to read. He could always tell my mood from just looking at me. No matter how hard I tried to keep like stone, he read everything. Just like an open book. Jacob and I had the friend that dated kind of relationship. It worked for us. He didn't need to be with my all the time. I didn't need him all the time. We were in the same friend circle so it was easy for all of us to be together, but when just the guys went out I didn't have this need to keep him all to myself. His smile was always caring, sometimes they were cunning like a child's but one thing that never fooled me were his eyes. They like liquid tar. Beautiful black eyes. Whether they were glazed over with sadness or lust I could read him from one look into them. We never fought much, but when we did we waited till the other was ready to talk. We seemed natural together, he was easy going and we had nothing to prove. Till that whore showed up.
Lunch finally came and I was both nervous and excited. Alice and I walked down the halls together, sluggishly making our way to the cafeteria. She kept talking, not realizing where my mind was.
Why is this boy flipping me into knots over a stupid little lunch? He could never actually be interested in me. Nothing was extraordinary about me. Something in the way he stands there, oblivious to the world around him made me want to know him. Know his past, present and future. I wanted to find out why he smiled when his eyes darkened and hardened with anger. I wanted to know why he would suddenly stare off into nothing, seeing something that made his emerald eyes glaze over. I wanted to know why he was so damn mysterious. I wanted to know what he wanted from me. I wanted to know what he knew about me. But most of all I wanted to know what he would do once he knew.
"Bella?" I looked to Alice who was still talking. Not even looking at me…
"Bella…" a tinkling voice with raw sadness stopped me. No. No. No. My legs couldn't move. My head refused to move. Panic, sadness and hurt pumped from my heart. Regret seeped through my pores. A light sheen of sweat covered my hair line and pamls. She was here. Here, within walking distance. My fingers felt like ice. Images played through my mind. Her laughter. Her smile. The slight gap in between her front teeth. Hazel eyes were always shinning with happiness. Always. Everything hurt. My legs hurt, my head hurt, my lungs hurt. My heart hurt. My breathing started coming in shallow breaths. I knew kids were pushing past me in the hallway, but I couldn't feel them. Alice's lips were moving but I couldn't hear her words. She was being drowned out. My ears were filled with screams, metal and glass shattering. Sounds that have haunted me every night. A wave of nausea sickened me. Red flowed from her head and matted her long brown hair. My eyes pricked with tears and I slowly turned around. Anticipation was pummeling against my rib cage and my heart jumped into my throat. No one was there. No one was calling my name. Kids were still pushing around me. No one was trying to get my attention at all.
"Bella! Jesus Christ what's going on?! Talk to me!" Alice never swore. I whipped my head towards her. She wasn't looking at me like I was crazy. Her eyes only held worry.
"Sorry Alice. I just… thought someone had called my name." I ran a hand through my hair and tugged on the strands a little. Fuck, maybe I am crazy.
"Let's just go to lunch." She launched into how weird Edward had acted last night but I could tell she wasn't over my little episode. She kept sneaking glances from the corner of her eyes. She pulled me straight to the lunch line and started piling the food onto a tray. I raised an eyebrow at her. She giggled.
"What? Jasper tired me out yesterday." Oh no fucking way. I stared at her.
"I'm no longer hungry." She punched my arm. Hard.
"Oh shut up you. Just wait till you get some, I'll be wanting all the details." Jesus, fuck no. She definitely would not want the details I'm thinking off…. Since they're with her brother. She danced her way to the table and sat next to Emmett. The only spots open were between Edward and Emmett or Edward and Alice. Gee, where should I sit. I moved my way to the chair between Edward and Emmett.
"Careful Bella," the velvety voice warned " Emmett's not a gracefull eater. Guaranteed his lunch will end up in your lap." I chuckled, as did Alice.
"Oh shut the fuck up. I'm very careful thank you very much." The burly one crossed his arms looking like a very pissed off teddy bear. I tore open my crackers and munched on one.
"So Bella, what do you say to a movie and sleepover tomorrow night? My mom's been dying to meet you." Her eyes flickered over to Edward briefly.
"Oh, yea. That'd be fun. I'll double check with Charlie tonight." The god beside me piped in.
"You can just ride with me and Alice after school tomorrow." I brushed the crumbs off the table and looked at the bronze haired boy
"Okay." His crooked smile gave way and Alice launched into conversation. Surprisingly enough I enjoyed my lunch time with them. Alice mostly led conversation with the rest of us adding in here and there. For once I actually laughed. All of them were genuine too. I almost died when a deep, velvet laugh joined mine. But I did melt into a puddle when his knee casually brushed mine. I flushed immediately and looked at him in surprise. He just smiled and knocked me knee one more time before returning to the conversation. The warning bell broke our bubble and we all stood to go to our classes. Edward and I made our way to Biology poking fun at Alice and Emmett's antics the entire way there. I briefly felt his hand at me back when we ran into a cluster of kids in the hallway. His warm hand stayed there for the remainder of the walk. We sat down and I pulled out my stuff from my backpack. The teacher walked in and announced we would be watching a film. Awesome. Nap time. Ever since my nightmares became daily there was no point in even trying to sleep. Unconsciousness used to be my escape from anything. You could dream about whatever the hell you wanted. You could just shut down and think of anything or anyone. You can avoid all the pain of your life or dream about a scenario you wanted to change. You could dream something fucked up like Bugs Bunny stealing all your gold or playing volleyball with a wasp. It was your escape in from life in your own mind. Now the dream world only suffocated me into nightmares; slowly killing me every time. Today, I was desperate for rest. As soon as the lights shut off my head dropped onto my arms, folded on the table. A faint buzzing from the TV eventually faded and I fell into my dream land.
I walked into a big open field, flowers bloomed everywhere. The sun was out and bright. The only shade was under the one tree in the meadow. Edward was sitting on a bench under the tree. I looked down and saw I had on a wedding dress. Silk hung down to my bare feet and the bodice was strapless and beaded. My hair felt pinned up but there were wisps of curls hanging by my face. I walked quickly to Edward and gasped. He looked like an angel in the crisp black suit, but I gasped for an entirely different reason. His usually bright green eyes were cold and flat black … in anger. He stood as I made my way towards him.
"Don't lie Bella." I blanched at him.
"What are you talking about?" This made him only angrier.
"Stop fucking lying. Just stop." Tears I didn't know existed sprung from my eyes.
"I'm so sorry Edward." He started to walk away.
"Please Edward!" I was almost full out sobbing at this point. My heart felt torn and shattered within my chest. He whipped around, waved of anger just beaming from him.
"I can't do this anymore." He whispered and reached into his shirt at his neck. He tugged at something and dropped a gold chain into the grass then walked away. I ran to his chain and fell to my knees in the grass. My shaking hands found his chain and I lifted it to me face. Glittering in the sun were two wedding rings.
Cool hands pulled at my arms and my head lifted.
"Hey. Class is over Swan" My face must have been fixed into an odd expression because he started laughing.
"C'mon we get to go home now." I nodded and packed up my things, noticing everyone leaving the class. I threw my bag over my shoulder and we hurried out the classroom.
Why would I ever dream that about me and Edward like that? Nothing about it made sense. Wedding, rings, lies and a meadow? Okay, maybe the lies made sense. I hadn't told anyone my real reason for moving here but no one needs to know. A small town like this would eat that shit up. I threw my biology book in my locker and slammed the door shut. This new town is fucking with me. I have no idea what to take from that dream. But damn did Edward look good. Well he could make a burlap sack look good. I put my hood up and hurried out the door. Yea it rains in Forks but now it was pouring down. I really need to talk to Charlie about getting a car. I barely took three steps when a familiar silver Volvo pulled up next to me. He didn't say anything, just pushed the passenger door open. I tossed my bag at my feet and shut the door.
"Thanks." He pulled out of the lot and grinned.
"My pleasure. Didn't want that pretty little head of yours drowning in a puddle when you trip." He snickered at his joke and I sat there feigning mad. He took one look at my face and backtracked.
"Oh c'mon, I'm kidding Bella." I laughed and he flushed.
He pulled into my driveway, right behind the cruiser. Charlie's home? I pulled my hood back up and turned to Edward.
"Thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow." I had my hand on the handle when I felt long fingers wrap around my fore arm. I turned, surprised at hoe close his face was to mine. His eyes smoldered and his lips quirked upwards.
"No problem, I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget you're coming to my house tomorrow." He released my arm but didn't move. Oh right, he lives there too. This will be fun. I turned to the door.
"And Bella? Do me a favor?" I turned to him again, he was even closer. His eyes were searching mine, trying to ask a silent question. His scent was everywhere again and I became aware of how I was breathing in his sweet, tangy breath. I licked my lips quickly. His eyes followed my movement then back to my eyes. His were shinning with mischief.
"Can you bring your Misfits shirt?" I remained where I was before answering.
"Sure." I smiled then got out and ran to the door. I threw it open and heard the car behind me pull out.
"Charlie?" I found him staring out the window, still in his work uniform.
"Why was Edward Cullen driving you home?" His harsh tone made me defensive.
"Because it's raining and he didn't want me to walk in it seeing as I don't have a car." It was a low blow, he didn't make a lot for being a chief in a little town, but don't be an asshole. He turned to me. His eyes were angry yet sad.
"Bella I just don't like him. He's got a bit of a past and I don't want you involved. We'll get you a car." Wait. Edward has a bit of a past? And the chief from the department knows about it? As in he broke the law? He started to walk to the kitchen but wasn't done talking. .
"I have to go back to the station. One of the guy's wife is having a baby so I'm covering for him. I wanted to pick up something to eat and let you know." I just stood there, unaware of what to say.
"Okay." He started walking to the door when Edward's voice flew back in my mind.
"Oh Charlie," He turned around and looked at me curiously "Uhm, Alice Cullen asked me if I wanted to stay at her house tomorrow. I'd just go with her after school. Is that okay?" I carefully made the plans focused on Alice. He answered somewhat awkwardly.
"Oh uh, yea, sure. It's uh, good to see you making friends Bells. Alice is a nice girl." With that he turned and left.
So Edward is hiding something. And apparently it's worse than I thought seeing as even Charlie knows about it. The more I thought about it the more I was intrigued. Everyone has pasts. Everyone is ashamed of something they did. I am no different. I'm a perfect symbol for regret. I only hope Edward can understand.
I turned and got to work on my dinner, realizing how lonely and quiet this world really is.
Yeeeeeeee. Okay gonna clear up some things.
In my story Mike is going to be a good friend for Bella. Yes he was annoying and trying to get the girl in the book but i'm tired of the mean Mikes or annoying Mikes.
He deserves some credit. So Mike = good. Think of him as Bella's Jacob. Her good friend but no love triangle there.
As for Jacob, he may come into the story.
By the by, I update when i get a creative wave of thoughts come. I can't just openly sit down and write a chapter. It'll take time.
Review if you like.